


The World Has Gone to Hell (I Might As Well Join It)

by hunter_king



Series: Supernatural - J2 [23]
Category: Supernatural RPF, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Barebacking, Bottom Jared Padalecki, M/M, Minor Character Death, Slash, Swearing, Top Jensen Ackles, Violence, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-25
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-29 03:22:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 25
Words: 163,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16736154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunter_king/pseuds/hunter_king
Summary: Ten years have passed since that night Jensen Ackles made the biggest mistake of his life with Jared Padalecki. But when the world goes to Hell, sometimes it's better to just take what you want and forget about what's right.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This fic does not show Genevieve Cortese, Danneel Harris, or Tom Welling in a nice light. These characters are meant to be the (human) villains in this story, so they are not meant to be liked. If you are uncomfortable with fics that cast these characters in a bad role, please do not read! No disrespect is meant toward any of the actors personally as I have never met them, therefore I do not know them. 
> 
> This fic is based roughly on the show _The Walking Dead_ which airs on AMC. You don't have to be familiar with the show to read the fic, but I do take specific scenes from the show and twist them to work with my fic. There will be spoilers for season 1 if you haven't seen it.

It was said that high school was supposed to be the best years of your life. For Jared Padalecki, that statement couldn’t be more untrue. High school was probably the worst experience of his life, and he had only been here for six months! First off, he was pretty sure that he was gay – well, more than pretty sure. His ex-girlfriend turned best friend was testament to that fact. Sandy was perfect – she had long brown hair and deep brown eyes that spoke volumes. She was everything a boy Jared’s age would have wanted – yet Jared couldn’t keep his eyes off the senior in his advanced History class. 

The man was hot! And Jared felt dirty just thinking about him, but damn! He was smoking! The gorgeous green eyes and the freckles did him in every time. Of course, Jared knew he didn’t have a chance with him. Jensen Ackles was probably the straightest guy in this school. It figured that Jared would fall for him – always wanting things that were unattainable. And it didn’t help that Jared was a smart kid – he was in all advanced classes, which meant he took a lot of classes with seniors. And Jensen Ackles was one of those seniors.

They had a lot of classes together and it was hard to focus on schoolwork and learning when Jensen sat right in front of him and he could smell his fucking cologne! It was really making him crazy. He’d only told Sandy about the fact that he was gay and she wasn’t any help in this department. She knew that Jensen was straight and she all but told Jared to get over it. But he couldn’t! When his mind was set on someone, he wasn’t easily distracted. And right now his mind was set on Jensen fucking Ackles.

When their instructor came in and announced that there was going to be a project that involved the class working in pairs, Jared hoped that he was going to be matched with the God in front of him. And much to his surprise, something worked out in his favor! He and Jensen were paired up on this project and Jared was going to make the best of it. This was a perfect opportunity to get a feel for Jensen. After all, with the right persuasion, Jared was sure he could get anyone to give him a chance. Sandy was always telling him how cute he was – Jared was about to test that theory.

Unfortunately, the instructor didn’t allow anyone to get with their partners for this class because they were still working on getting through the current era they were learning. Still, as soon as that bell rang, Jared made sure to catch Jensen before he left the classroom. “Hey,” he greeted happily. “I’m Jared…your partner for this project.”

A small smile came to Jensen’s lips when Jared introduced himself, Jensen shaking his head slightly. “Yeah, I know who you are, Jared,” he assured him. They’d only been in the same class for the last six months. “You sit behind me every day, you know.” He smiled once more at the slight blush that came to Jared’s cheeks at his words. “Look, I gotta get to practice right now, but if you want to get together later, let me know.” Quickly, he scribbled his number onto a slip of paper and handed it to Jared. “Just text me, or whatever.”

Jared almost couldn’t believe that he was holding Jensen’s phone number in his hands. He hoped that he was playing it cool on the outside because on the inside he was absolutely freaking out. Sandy was going to have to come over later so they could talk about this. “Y-Yeah, okay, I will!” Jared called after Jensen, quickly gathering his books and heading out of the class. He met up with Sandy at her locker like he always did, unable to keep the goofy smile off his lips.

“What are you grinning like a fool about?” Sandy asked as she closed her locker, starting towards the door leading to the parking lot. She had driven Jared to school and they always spent some time afterwards at his house just talking. Even though they were no longer dating, they still kept up appearances for Jared’s family. He wasn’t ready to let them know that he liked boys and Sandy was a good friend. Besides, she actually liked Jared’s family, so spending time with them wasn’t a chore, or anything. 

Still unable to keep the smile off his lips, Jared flapped the paper in Sandy’s direction. “I have Jensen’s number,” he explained as they climbed into the car. “We’re partners on a History project and he gave me his number. Said that we can get together later and work on the project.” Hell, Jared wasn’t even sure what the project was. All he remembered from class was the fact that he and Jensen got paired up together. Now he was kind of hoping that he’d paid more attention because Sandy was asking questions and Jared had no answers for her. “I wasn’t really paying attention,” he confessed sheepishly. “I just remember that Jensen is my partner.”

His admittance caused Sandy to chuckle a little. “Buckle up, Jared,” she instructed as she put the car in reverse and headed towards his house. She wanted some more details on where Jared’s head was right now. After all, she knew that he had the hugest crush ever on Jensen and she was worried that he was going to do something stupid and get himself hurt. So she wanted to be there when they planned their first meeting and she wasn’t going to let Jared chase her away when Jensen came over either. Someone had to be there to make sure Jared didn’t do anything stupid.

Once they were at Jared’s house, they headed straight up to his room, both shooting a quick hello to Jeff and Megan before the door was closed and they were in the privacy of Jared’s room. “So are you going to call him?” Sandy asked, biting into the soft flesh of her bottom lip as she waited for Jared’s answer. Really, she didn’t think it was a good idea. If it had been up to her, she would have suggested a new partner, but this was what they had to work with and there wasn’t anything either of them could do about it.

Call him? Heavens no. Jared wasn’t ready for that. Besides, Jensen had told him to text. That was much less personal – something Jared could handle. “No,” he answered with a shake of his head, adding Jensen’s number to his contact list before tossing the phone onto the middle of his bed between the two of them. “I wouldn’t know what to say. And he’s at football practice. He wouldn’t answer anyway.”

Right, football practice. Sandy forgot that not only was Jensen a gorgeous, straight man, but he was also captain of the football team. Gee, Jared really knew how to pick them. “Well, you are aware that football practice only lasts for about an hour tonight right? It’s Monday, which means the coach lets them out early so they can get their homework done.” Shrugging slightly, Sandy continued, “Maybe you should call him after that.”

Again, Jared gave his head a small shake at Sandy’s suggestion. “I’ll just text him,” he decided with a determined nod. “He said that I should just text him. I mean, I don’t want to call him while he’s in the middle of something and bother him.” Nodding once more, Jared explained, “It’s safer if I text him.” After all, a text message gave him time to really think out what he was going to say. Calling Jensen meant that he wouldn’t have time to plan and his mouth could get him into trouble. “C’mon, don’t we have some calculus homework that we need to get done?”

With Jared’s help, it only took about an hour to get all of the calculus homework done. Sandy was grateful that she was close friends with the brain of the class because otherwise she would have been lost. Jared was nice enough to take everything she didn’t understand and explain it to her as though she was brain dead, so she finally understood it. That test they had next week was going to be a breeze.

After chatting and goofing off for a few more minutes, Jared finally grabbed his cell phone. He knew that he was just putting off the inevitable, so he shot Jensen a quick text message asking when he wanted to get together. Surely, practice had to be over by now. And even if it wasn’t, it had to at least be almost over, so he didn’t feel bad about bothering Jensen. Besides, they needed to work on the project soon. It was due in a month and Jared wasn’t the type of guy who liked to wait until the last minute to get things done.

Much to Jared’s surprise, Jensen texted him back rather quickly. “Oh my God, Sandy!” Jared exclaimed, pushing his phone into his friend’s face so she could see it better. “He wants to get together tomorrow and start working on it!” This was moving too fast – Jared was getting a little light-headed. He knew that the crush he had on Jensen was completely one-sided, but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t deeply affected by it. “What-What should I say?”

It was obvious that her friend was having a moment. Jared was an awesome guy, but he tended to panic – a lot. Pushing the phone away from her face gently, Sandy cupped Jared’s face in her hands, forcing him to keep eye contact. “Jared, you just need to calm down,” she explained, breathing slowly and deeply so Jared would know to do the same thing. “Text him back and tell him that tomorrow would be great. And try to be casual about it, Jay. You don’t want him to know that you’re excited to get together with him.”

Nodding, Jared matched his breathing with Sandy’s. He could do this. After all, it was just a text message. Now, if he had been on the phone with Jensen, it would have been a different story. But a text, he could handle. Quickly, he replied that tomorrow would be great and asked Jensen what time would work for him. Yeah, he could definitely do this.

About half an hour later, Jared and Jensen had plans to come straight to his house after school tomorrow and get started on the project. Honestly, Jared couldn’t have made it through the conversation without Sandy being there to coach him the whole time. But it was getting late and Sandy was packing up to leave, which meant he was going to be alone if Jensen texted him again that evening. It was a little scary, but he wasn’t going to beg Sandy to stay here because he was scared. Before he let her leave, he gave her a huge hug, thanking her for helping him out. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he smiled before Sandy walked to her car, Jared not closing his door until she was safely inside it and pulling out of the driveway.

Luckily, Jensen didn’t text him again that night, although Jared had been prepared for it. He even worked out scenarios in his head of what kind of conversations they might have had. Yeah, he was a little messed up about this, but it wasn’t a bad thing to be prepared! Still, all of his preparing did hinder his ability to sleep, but he was fine with that. After all, he’d gone to school on hardly any sleep before, and he wasn’t afraid to do it again.

**~~**

By the time Sandy got to his house the next morning, Jared had only been asleep for an hour and a half. Honestly, he just wanted to skip class and sleep all day, but he knew that wasn’t an option. Jensen was coming over after school today and if he skipped class, Jensen would change his mind. And it wasn’t just that he wanted to see Jensen – the project really was due in a month and Jared wanted to get a good start on it.

Of course, the day felt like it was dragging on. Every time Jared was going to school on little sleep, the day seemed like it was four days in one. Jared couldn’t thank Sandy enough when she let him sleep through both lunch and study hall, always making sure he was awake when the bell rang so he wasn’t late to his next class. She really was an awesome friend considering all of the shit he put her through when he realized he wasn’t interested in being with a woman.

The end of the day finally came – the class that Jared had been waiting for all damn day. The professor actually let the partners of the project get together in class, and Jared took full advantage of that. It was weird at first because Jared had barely said two words to Jensen all year so far, but after a few minutes, they fell into step with each other. They even managed to narrow down a topic, which was pretty impressive as far as Jared was concerned. 

World War II – it wasn’t the narrowest of topics, but it was definitely a start. There were so many other different sub categories that they could divide it into. And while History wasn’t exactly his favorite subject, Jared was more than happy to spend all of his time in this era as long as it meant he was able to hang out with Jensen. And yes, he was aware how creepy it sounded, even in his head, but he couldn’t help it. Jensen just drew him in.

When the bell rang, they gathered their books and Jensen led Jared to his car. “Don’t mind the mess,” Jensen muttered as he grabbed his football gear and tossed it into the back seat along with the pom-poms on the passenger seat. “Danneel usually just tosses everything into the back, but she knew I wasn’t driving her home today, so she just left it all there.” He knew that he was going to get an earful later from Danneel, but he didn’t care. As much as she hated it, Jensen actually strived to get good grades so he wasn’t kicked off the team. Sure, he could have cheated his way through school like most of the players on his team, but that wouldn’t get him very far when he wanted to apply for college.

“Oh, it’s okay,” Jared smiled as he helped Jensen move his stuff. “Your car is actually clean compared to Sandy’s. She just tosses drink bottles and candy wrappers on her floor.” Now that the words were out of his mouth, Jared had to wonder if he was supposed to say that. He was sure that Sandy probably would never find out, but he had to figure it was embarrassing for people to know she was a slob in her car. Pushing the thought from his mind, Jared climbed into the passenger seat and strapped himself in, smiling at Jensen. “Uh…you just wanna take a left out of the parking lot,” he directed, pointing down the road.

Jared only lived about ten minutes from the high school, so it was easy to direct Jensen there. Once they were in the driveway, Jensen cut the engine and Jared led Jensen into the house, quickly bypassing his mother who was cooking in the kitchen and taking Jensen to his room where they could have some privacy. Of course, that may not have been the best idea, but Jared was going to make it work. Even if Jensen decided that laying on his bed was the best option while they were planning out their topic a little better. And yeah, Jared was going to be able to smell him now every time he tried to go to sleep. That was just great.

Three hours passed faster than Jared thought possible, and before he knew it, Jensen was calling it a night. They made plans to work on the project again later that week, and Jensen was on his way. As soon as Jensen pulled out of his driveway, Jared called Sandy to tell her all about the evening. He didn’t even care that she made fun of him for being a complete loser because when he rolled onto his stomach on the bed, he could smell Jensen on his pillow, and all was right in the world.

**~~**

The next few weeks passed by in a blur of scheduling meetings around football practices, football games – Jensen actually invited Jared to the games, otherwise he wouldn’t have gone – and working with Jensen on the History project when they had spare time. They were almost done now. Jared was guessing that they had one or two more meetings before they could finally finish this thing up. 

Tonight was not one of those meetings, however. Instead Jared was sitting on one of the uncomfortable benches cheering Jensen on as they annihilated the other football team. Honestly, Jared wasn’t going to come, but it was the last game of the season and Jensen had taken them all the way to the championships, so he felt obligated to come show his support. After all, this was Jensen’s fourth year of going to the championships and Jared wanted to see how he had made it all of these years. Now, he knew the reason – Jensen had an arm, and he could also run the ball if it was needed; he was a real threat to the other players.

That clock was running down and the teams were tied, which had Jared on the edge of his seat. But Jensen threw the ball and Tom Welling caught it, running twenty yards down the field to get them their last touchdown, and the win. Jared and Sandy were both on their feet cheering at that point, not even caring that they were receiving dirty looks from the other team’s side of the bleachers. Jensen had just won the championships again, and Jared was here to show his support. And he would be damned if he didn’t show his support loudly and proudly.

After the game, the team went to a party at Tom’s house. His parents were out of town and they had the best selection of alcohol available to them. Also, they were hardly ever home, and even when they were, they didn’t care about what Tom got into, so it was easily accessed, which was the perfect combination for a high school after party. Jensen invited Jared and although he really didn’t want to go – it wasn’t really his scene – he agreed because it was Jensen.

Of course, Jared didn’t stay at the party long. Sandy was having a good time and everything, but she couldn’t drink because she was the designated driver, so they bowed out early. Jared was going to see Jensen the next day anyway, so it wasn’t like he had to worry about waiting to see his crush. However, as he was leaving, he noticed that Jensen and his flame Danneel Harris were arguing about something. And Jared’s mind just had to wander with that little scene that he caught as he was walking out of the house.

Needless to say, that night, Jared’s dreams were filled with high resolution videos of Jensen bursting through his door and explaining that he’d broken up with Danneel because he realized that he loved Jared. They were scenes fit for a romance movie, and in the morning when Jared woke up, he felt like a real idiot for even thinking it. But damn, while they lasted, those dreams were so good. If only his life actually played out the way it had in his dreams. He would have been one happy man if that were the case.

Jared woke to a text message from Jensen explaining that he was going to be late because he had drank a little too much the night before and he was sleeping it off at Tom’s house. He didn’t hesitate to send Jensen a text telling him to take all the time he needed. It was Saturday, so they didn’t have anything else to do that day. Hell, Jensen could have come over at ten o’clock at night and spent the night at Jared’s house, and no one would have said anything about it. After all, his parents thought that he and Jensen were best friends now, and it wasn’t unusual for a friend to stay at another friend’s house.

Then again, maybe it was. After all he and Jensen were both over the age of thirteen, so maybe if they had sleepovers, his parents would catch on to the fact that he was gay. No, he couldn’t let that happen! He was trying so hard to keep it a secret! But then, Jensen had just explained that he’d crashed at Tom’s place, so Jared was just being paranoid. Obviously, he needed to just calm down and take a break from everything.

A shower seemed like the best thing to do in order to relax and take his mind off everything else, so that’s what he did. Because there was no one else in the house right now, Jared took a much longer shower than was necessary. He deserved it. His emotions were in turmoil over everything that he was dealing with over the last few weeks and this show just hit the spot. Jensen had a girlfriend and still Jared couldn’t get over him. 

Last night had a lot to do with that though, Jared supposed. He’d seen Jensen and Danneel fighting. Now, it was true that he had no idea what they were fighting about, but that didn’t mean anything. They had been fighting. And fighting usually led to break ups if it was bad enough. Jared was secretly hoping that it was bad enough for them to have broken up. Sure, it was kind of mean, but he couldn’t help the way he felt about Jensen. After all, he already had almost all the odds against him – Jensen breaking up with his girlfriend would have been a win for Jared.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have time to get dressed before Jensen was knocking on his door. Jared was still home alone, so it wasn’t like he could pawn the task of answering the door off on another person. Then again, he wasn’t ashamed of his body, so there was no need for him to overthink answering the door in his towel. Pulling the door open, Jared greeted, “Hi Jensen! Come on in. Sorry about the lack of clothing, but I just got out of the shower.” He led the way to his room before he grabbed some clothes and headed into the bathroom to get dressed.

Once he had clothes on, Jared returned to his bedroom, flopping down onto the bed next to Jensen after he had all of their supplies gathered up. “Okay, so we’re almost finished. I bet if we work until late tonight, we’ll be done before the night’s over,” Jared explained. He couldn’t help the small pang of hurt that spread through his chest at the idea of not being able to hang out with Jensen like this anymore once this was finished. Sure, they had become close friends, but that didn’t mean they were going to continue to get together after this was all over. 

For all Jared knew, he was just a grade to Jensen. The older boy seemed to like him, but Jared may have been mistaken. After all this was over, Jensen was probably going to go on with his life and never speak to Jared again. After all, Jensen was a senior and Jared was just a freshman. Why the hell would Jensen want to waste his time with Jared? 

No, Jared wasn’t going to let himself think like that. He and Jensen were friends at the very least and Jensen wasn’t the kind of person who would just ditch Jared once they passed this project. The smile that had formed on Jared’s lips quickly vanished when he looked at Jensen and saw that he had a whiskey bottle pressed to his lips and he was drinking it like it was water. “Jensen, what are you doing?” Jared asked, grabbing the bottle and quickly snatching it away from Jensen.

Now that Jensen was looking at him, Jared could see just how inebriated he still was. There was no way they were going to get anywhere on the project with Jensen this smashed. “What?” Jensen demanded, mumbling a protest when Jared took the bottle. “’S just whiskey! Give it back!” He reached for the bottle and tried to grab it out of Jared’s hands but instead he toppled over and fell into Jared’s chest, knocking them both off balance and sending them crashing to the floor. 

A small groan escaped Jared when Jensen landed on top of him, his breath momentarily leaving him. He was just glad he’d had enough sense to put the cap back on the whiskey before Jensen attacked him, otherwise he would have gotten in trouble with his parents. If his room smelled like whiskey, even if he hadn’t been drinking any, his parents would assume that he was guilty. “Are you all right?” he asked Jensen, giving him a gentle push so they weren’t laying on top of each other like this. It was uncomfortable for him and he didn’t want Jensen to realize that he was growing hard in his jeans.

“No,” Jensen answered gruffly, unsteadily pushing himself off of Jared and leaning against the bed. Keeping his eyes glued to the floor, Jensen explained, “Danneel and I broke up last night. She said that I didn’t pay enough attention to her and she was going to find someone who did. But I explained to her it was because I had this project due and after we’d spend more time together, but she didn’t want to hear it. She said I was picking you over her and she didn’t like it. So, she dumped me.”

He tried really hard not to show his excitement as he bit into his lip, glancing at Jensen from beneath his bangs. “Oh, I-I’m sorry to hear that,” he lied. “But you know what, if she didn’t want to stay with you, then it’s her loss. You’re a great, amazing guy Jensen and if the person you’re with can’t see that, then they don’t deserve to be with you.” Jared’s cheeks flushed when Jensen glanced up at him at his words, but he needed to get them out. It was true. Jensen was amazing and Jared would have killed to be in Danneel’s place.

Jensen’s eyes caught Jared’s as a small smile came to his lips. “Yeah? You really believe that?” he asked, his smile widening when Jared nodded. Slowly, Jensen pushed himself away from the bed and moved closer to Jared, his eyes never leaving Jared’s. “Do you think that I’m a great, amazing guy?” he asked, stopping when he was just inches away from Jared.

It was getting hard for Jared to breathe. Jensen was practically on top of him, close enough to touch, Jared could feel the heat rising to his cheeks once more. He didn’t know what Jensen was playing at, but he felt like he needed to assure Jensen that he was good enough for anyone who wanted him and that Danneel was an idiot for throwing him away like yesterday’s trash. “Y-Yeah,” Jared answered, swallowing thickly as he looked at the ground, breaking his and Jensen’s eye contact finally.

Before Jared knew what was happening, Jensen gripped his chin with one hand and grabbed his shoulder with the other, lips crushing against Jared’s in a messy, heated kiss. When Jared’s lips parted on a gasp, Jensen took the opportunity to shove his tongue into the hot, wet cavern, teasing Jared’s tongue in an attempt to make him return the kiss. To his excitement, Jared did, Jensen quickly moving his hands so that his fingers were fisting in Jared’s shaggy chestnut hair.

Holy shit, he was kissing Jensen fucking Ackles! His brain was still trying to process that when Jensen shoved him down onto his back, blanketing Jared’s body with his own. And God, they were both so hard right now. “J-Jensen,” he whispered when the kiss was broken, head turning to the side to offer Jensen better access to his neck. “W-Wait, please?” Jared couldn’t believe he was telling Jensen to wait. This was what he had been praying for since he laid eyes on Jensen and now he was telling him to wait?! What the hell was wrong with him?!

But Jensen was drunk, so Jared had to make sure he was coherent enough to at least know he wanted this. If he was only doing this because he was hurting and he’d had one too many swigs from that whiskey bottle, Jared wasn’t going to let this continue. He wanted it to be real. If Jensen wasn’t in his right mind enough to know what he was doing – what he was offering – Jared wasn’t going to let it go any further. It needed to be real.

Although it was the last thing he wanted to do, Jensen pulled back from the spot on Jared’s neck that he was attacking, though he couldn’t stop his hips from moving rhythmically against Jared’s thigh. “What’s the matter?” Jensen asked, bottle green eyes full of lust gazing down in Jared’s equally dark hazel ones. “Don’t you want this?”

Of course he wanted this! There was no doubt in Jared’s mind that he wanted this! “I…yeah,” he answered with a nod. “I just want to make sure this is what you want.” Slowly, Jared ran his fingers through Jensen’s short-cropped hair, smiling up at him. “I mean…you seemed pretty drunk a few minutes ago. Are you sure you’re not only doing this because you’re drunk and want to get off with the first willing body you can find?”

Only half of what Jared said registered in his mind. Jensen caught the important parts like ‘yeah’ and ‘willing body,’ but other than that, he just hadn’t been listening. Jared’s thigh felt really good under him and he wanted to keep going. He wanted them to be naked and he wanted to just fuck into Jared without much thought. Jensen just wanted the pain of his previous break-up to go away. And Jensen knew that Jared had feelings for him – he could tell by the way Jared looked at him all of the time and the words he’d said to him just a few minutes ago. And right now, Jensen was willing to give Jared what he wanted.

The fact that he wasn’t gay didn’t even register in his head right now. Jensen would deal with the consequences of his actions later. At this particular moment, his dick was so hard in his jeans that he could cut glass and he had a willing body under him ready to take care of it. He didn’t care that Jared had a similarly hard cock – Jensen just wanted to get off. Besides, as long as he didn’t suck Jared’s dick or let Jared top him, it wasn’t like he was actually performing any taboo acts of gayness. At least not in his mind. And no one else was going to know about this. It was just him and Jared. 

Without another thought, Jensen crushed their lips together again, his hands pushing at Jared’s shoulders to keep him down on the ground. He was in control here and he wasn’t about to let Jared get the upper hand. His hands slowly slid down Jared’s torso, moving over the hard planes of Jared’s body. Jared wasn’t too buff, still holding that lanky frame of a fifteen year old boy, but there was potential there – muscle hidden beneath the baby fat that still lingered. Briefly, Jensen thought that Jared was going to grow up well before his hands slid under Jared’s T-shirt, pushing the fabric up as he went.

Surprisingly, Jared actually found that he liked the rough treatment Jensen was showing him. At first, he’d wanted to touch and maybe even press his body closer to Jensen’s, but when he was held down like that, all of his blood just seemed to rush south and cause his already hard dick to grow even more. This was his first sexual experience, so he was learning things about himself and what he liked, and he was glad that it was Jensen showing him this new side of himself. But when his shirt was pushed up and Jensen thrust against him, sending his body sliding up the floor, Jared hissed in pain. The last thing he wanted was rug burn, which was going to happen if they stayed on his floor.

“Jensen,” Jared mumbled softly, pushing at Jensen’s chest gently to get his attention on his face instead of on his neck where Jensen was currently sucking and biting. “Hey, c’mon, look at me.” When Jensen finally did as he was told, Jared explained, “Let’s move this to the bed. M’gonna get rug burn if we stay down here.”

Getting on the bed required moving, and that was one thing that Jensen didn’t want to do. But he wasn’t going to protest it because Jared didn’t want to get rug burn. Jensen felt he had no right to deny Jared the right to feel comfortable. “’kay,” he muttered, slowly pushing himself away from Jared and getting unsteadily to his feet. Yeah, he was a little drunk. So what?! He was coherent enough to know that he was about to have sex with Jared, and he wasn’t about to stop right now.

Once Jared was on his feet and close enough to the bed that the backs of his knees were touching it, Jensen pushed Jared down onto the mattress, quickly following after him. This time, Jensen wasted no time getting Jared’s shirt off, hands moving to his pectoral muscles and giving the flesh in his hands a firm squeeze. Fuck, he could tell that Jared worked out – probably not as much as Jensen did, but he definitely worked out. It was different from anything Jensen had ever done – way different than his encounters with Danneel – and Jensen had to admit at least to himself that he kind of enjoyed it.

Again, Jensen’s hands slid down Jared’s torso, working the button and fly on Jared’s jeans open as he dipped his head and sucked one of Jared’s tight, cinnamon hued nipples into his mouth. A small smile came to his lips when Jared groaned and arched his body into Jensen’s, Jared’s back bowing off the bed as one hand fisted in Jensen’s hair while the other did the same to the crisp sheets beneath them. Jensen also had to admit that he loved how damn responsive Jared was. Everything that he did to Jared, he had a reaction to and Jensen absolutely loved it – he couldn’t get enough of it, actually.

When he felt that he had given Jared’s nipple enough attention, he moved to its twin, giving the same amount of attention to it. As he sucked and teased Jared’s nub with his lips and tongue, Jensen tucked his thumbs into the waistband of Jared’s jeans and boxers, getting them both pulled down to Jared’s mid-thigh with one tug. He had to pull off of Jared’s nipple in order to get his clothing the rest of the way off, but it was worth it. Seeing Jared completely naked –except for his socks – was definitely worth it.

This wasn’t happening. There was no way this was actually happening. Clearly Jared had fallen asleep and he was dreaming all of this. He could have almost believed that if it didn’t feel this real. Jared knew he was awake – he even pinched himself just to be sure when Jensen wasn’t looking. Jensen was actually going to have sex with him, and Jared was in awe. Still, that didn’t mean he felt comfortable laying here with all of his clothes off while Jensen was fully clothed. That just wouldn’t do. 

Reaching for Jensen’s shirt, Jared gave it a tug, pouting when he didn’t get the fabric off Jensen’s body his first try. “I want this off,” he all but whined, pulling at the shirt once more, not caring that he was stretching it. Pushing himself off the mattress a little, Jared got a better grip on the shirt and pulled it over Jensen’s head, lips latching on to Jensen’s pulse point once the shirt was tossed into the corner to join the growing pile of clothing there. 

An almost animalistic growl escaped Jensen when Jared sucked on his pulse point, that particular area being a weakness of Jensen’s. Roughly, Jensen gripped Jared’s shoulders and yanked him off his neck, crushing their lips together once more. He didn’t hesitate as he shoved his tongue into Jared’s mouth, massaging Jared’s own and trying to get him to engage in the kiss as well. Meanwhile, Jensen pushed Jared back down onto the bed, grinding their cocks together as a deep moan escaped his throat.

A soft hiss escaped Jared when Jensen started grinding down against him. It wasn’t unpleasant or anything, but he had to admit it did hurt just a little bit. After all, Jensen still had his jeans on while Jared was completely naked and the rough denim was rubbing against his overly sensitive flesh the wrong way. Not that Jared was going to blame Jensen for that. It wasn’t Jensen’s fault his jeans weren’t soft to the touch. “Jensen,” he groaned softly when the kiss broke, hands reaching down to grip Jensen’s hips before pushing him away slightly. “Get your jeans off. S’not comfortable.”

God, Jared really was needy. Then again, he could appreciate that having rough denim rubbing against his bare cock wasn’t necessarily ideal for Jared. So, he pushed himself away from Jared, instead straddling his waist as he smiled drunkenly down at him. “Take them off for me,” he instructed, biting into his bottom lip at the look of pure lust in Jared’s eyes. He had to appreciate that the kid was smitten with him – even if he didn’t share the same feelings.

Jared quickly scrambled to do as he was told, marveling at the idea of getting to undress Jensen. He never thought this would be happening and now that it was, he was going to take full advantage of that fact. His hands were trembling as he worked the button and fly of Jensen’s jeans open, showing just how much of an amateur Jared was in this department. Honestly, he was lucky that he had lube in the drawer, otherwise this wouldn’t be happening right now. Hooking his thumb into the waistband of Jensen’s jeans and boxers much like Jensen had done his, Jared pulled the offending fabric off Jensen’s hips, allowing Jensen to kick them off of the foot of the bed before he resumed his earlier grinding actions.

Yeah, that felt so much better. Again, Jared groaned in pleasure as Jensen started kissing and sucking his neck, Jared gladly turning his head to the side in an attempt to offer better access for Jensen’s ministrations. As he enjoyed what Jensen was doing to him, Jared took the opportunity to get the lube from the drawer where he kept it hidden. Jensen had picked a perfect day to come out of the closet and show Jared that he was interested in him. His parents were visiting his brother at college and were staying at a hotel close by, and his sister was sleeping over at a friend’s house, which meant they had the whole house to themselves. Jared was guessing that was a good thing because he was very vocal. And that was only when he was masturbating – he could only imagine how loud he was going to be while having sex with another person.

Once he had the lube in hand, Jared tossed it onto the bed beside them, his hands instantly moving to grope at Jensen’s back, fingernails leaving half-moon shapes in Jensen’s skin where Jared held on too tightly. Jensen didn’t seem to mind the rough treatment, so Jared didn’t apologize. What he did do though was beg. This was moving too slowly and Jared wanted to feel Jensen inside him. “Jen, please…” he breathed, nipping at Jensen’s ear. “Want you inside me. Please?”

Of course, Jensen had no objections to that. After all, that was the reason they were in this position. It had been the plan from the start. Grabbing the lube, Jensen popped the cap and poured a liberal amount onto his fingers. Honestly, he had no idea what he was doing here since he’d never been with a guy, but he was pretty good at winging things. He was half tempted to tell Jared to let him know if he was doing something wrong, but he didn’t want Jared to know how damn inexperienced he was. The last thing he wanted was for Jared to make him stop because he had no idea what he was doing.

In the end, he figured he could just treat Jared’s body like any other female he had been with in his years. It seemed like a good enough plan anyway. Of course he knew he was going to have to go slowly. Men weren’t equipped to take cocks, so he had to take special care to make sure he didn’t hurt Jared – that much he knew. Slowly, he pushed one finger into Jared’s tightly puckered hole, biting into his bottom lip to stifle a groan when the digit was engulfed in the tight heat. “Fuck Jared,” he breathed, licking his lips. “Have you ever done this before?”

The last thing he wanted to admit right now was that he was indeed a virgin. But he figured that Jensen could tell because he was so tight. And yeah, he’d tried to finger himself once or twice, but he always chickened out because he thought it was going to hurt. And now he knew he had been right. It fucking hurt. Still, he wanted Jensen to keep going. He wanted his first time to be with Jensen. So he knew he couldn’t lie. “N-No,” he answered, breaths coming out in stuttered pants as he tried to get over the initial pain. “B-But don’t stop. Want you to keep going. Please? Please don’t stop, Jen?”

How the hell was Jensen supposed to argue with that? “Not gonna stop,” he assured Jared with a shake of his head, slowly pulling his finger almost completely out of Jared before pushing it back in. He did that a few more times before he added a second, giving Jared ample amount of time to adjust before he added a third. When Jared was able to take three fingers without resistance, Jensen pulled his hand away, quickly lubing up his cock before he positioned himself by Jared’s entrance. “You ready baby?” he asked, fingers carding through Jared’s sweat damp hair.

All Jared could muster as a response was a shaky nod. Really, he did want this, but he was already so damn close to coming just from the preparation that Jensen had given him. He was so hard that it was almost painful and Jared knew that once Jensen was inside him, he wasn’t going to last much longer. And it was the most embarrassing thought that he’d ever had. If he hadn’t already told Jensen he was a virgin, Jensen surely would have known now because Jared knew he was going to come as soon as Jensen pushed inside him.

Luckily, Jared hadn’t accounted for how much it was going to hurt. Even with the time Jensen took to carefully prepare him for this, it hurt. Jensen was so damn big! He thought that three fingers would have been enough to open him up for Jensen’s cock, but he’d been wrong. His hands gripped at Jensen’s shoulders, fingernails digging into the soft skin there as he breathed through the pain. 

It was slow going, Jensen stopping every few inches to make sure Jared was all right. He stopped once he was fully sheathed inside Jared, his arms shaking with the effort of keeping himself from moving. Jensen could see the pain on Jared’s face and he noticed that Jared’s erection had dwindled marginally, and he was wondering if this had been such a good idea. But they were too far to quit now. Jared would be fine after a few minutes – his body would adjust and they could continue where they left off. At least that’s how it was with a woman, anyway.

Sure enough, after a few moments, Jared wiggled experimentally, breathing in a shocked gasp at the pleasure he felt now that he was used to the invasion. “Ungh…J-Jen, you can move now,” Jared explained, one hand moving to fist in Jensen’s hair as he yanked him down into a heated kiss. 

Jensen didn’t need to be told twice. He kept his movements slow and gentle as he pulled almost all of the way out of Jared, sliding back in slowly, watching Jared’s reaction to his movements. Satisfied that Jared seemed to be enjoying himself, Jensen repeated the action, moving just a bit faster – a little harder – this time. Again, Jared seemed to be fine with it, so Jensen kept going until he was all but slamming his cock into Jared. 

And it felt good. It felt so fucking good. Jared was tight and he was gripping Jensen’s cock just right on every thrust. Angling his hips, Jensen smirked slightly when Jared gasped and then groaned in pleasure. The pure pleasure on Jared’s face let Jensen know that he’d hit Jared’s sweet spot. So he did it again. And then again, one hand fisting in the sheets beneath Jared while the other fisted in Jared’s hair when Jared’s inner muscles clamped down on his dick just right. “Fuck, Jared,” he breathed, head dipping to nip and suck at Jared’s neck and shoulder.

Although his erection had dwindled down when Jensen first pushed into him, Jared was fully erect once more, pre-cum leaking from the tip of his penis. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. Jensen hadn’t even touched his dick and Jared was going to blow his load. “Oh God, Jensen,” he breathed, gripping Jensen’s hips as he felt his balls draw up tight against his body. He came with a loud cry of pleasure, his back arching off the bed as he dragged Jensen impossibly closer.

Jared’s orgasm caught Jensen by surprise. He hadn’t even touched Jared and he was already coming. It actually stroked Jensen’s ego a little bit. Well, that was until he felt Jared’s inner muscles clamping down around him, deliciously squeezing his dick and he was dragged over the edge right along with Jared. Only then did he remember that he hadn’t even thought to use a condom. Of course, it didn’t really matter, he supposed. Jared was a guy, so there was no way he could get pregnant, and he was also a virgin, which meant Jensen wasn’t going to catch anything from him.

When his orgasm subsided, Jensen collapsed onto the bed, barely remembering to roll so that he didn’t fall on top of Jared. His eyes wandered to the window as he tried to catch his breath, Jensen realizing that it was already dark outside. And he was still exceptionally drunk, so it wasn’t like he could walk home like he had originally intended to do when Tom brought him here. Now he had no idea what he was going to do.

Movement from the other side of the bed brought him back to the moment, a small frown coming to his lips when Jared flopped his gangly limbs over Jensen in some semblance of cuddling. Jensen surely wasn’t going to cuddle with him. Scooting over a bit to escape Jared’s arm and leg, Jensen asked, “Do you think your parents will care if I crash here tonight? My car’s still at Tom’s and I don’t think I’m sober enough to walk home in the dark.”

Feeling a bit offended by Jensen not wanting to be touched, Jared muttered, “My parents aren’t gonna be home tonight. It’s just me. And I don’t care if you stay here.” He figured that Jensen wasn’t a cuddler – not everyone was, after all – so he rolled onto his opposite side, back facing Jensen as he curled into a ball and tried to get some sleep.

**~~**

Sunlight filtered in through the curtains, causing Jensen to groan softly. His head hurt like hell and he just wanted to sleep the day away. He realized when he cracked one eye open that he wasn’t in his room though, which prompted him to wake his ass up pretty quickly. Jensen didn’t remember crashing at someone else’s house. Hell, he didn’t remember much of anything. All he knew was that he was in someone else’s bed, his body hurt like he had just been in a fight with a UFC fighter, and he was naked. 

Well, that was never a good combination.

He froze when the bed beside him moved. Shit, not only was he in someone else’s bed, but there was someone else in the bed with him. Jensen almost didn’t want to know who it was, but curiosity got the best of him. Slowly, he turned his body so he could see who had been his bedmate last night, only to have a wave of nausea hit him. Holy hell – he’d slept with Jared Padalecki last night!

This wasn’t good. Jared was four years younger than him and he was his partner on his history project. Oh yeah, and he was a guy! Jensen wasn’t gay! He liked women! Seeing the bottle of whiskey on the floor beside the bed, Jensen groaned once more. Dammit, he’d been drunk when he fucked Jared. This just wasn’t going to end well.

Jared felt the bed moving vaguely in his sleep, letting him know that he wasn’t alone. Slowly, he blinked his eyes open, allowing consciousness to take him as his eyes adjusted to the light in the room. A small smile came to his lips when he saw Jensen leaning over him. Jensen had stayed all night. He hadn’t left. That had to be a good sign, right? “Morning,” he greeted, stretching his long body out on the bed, though he was careful not to hit Jensen. 

His whole body hurt. But it was a good kind of hurt so Jared couldn’t complain. Sure, he was probably going to have trouble walking right the next few days, but he would always remember why, so that made up for it. Cupping Jensen’s elbow, his thumb rubbing soothing circles into the skin there, Jared asked, “How did you sleep?”

Although he didn’t mean to, Jensen recoiled away from the touch as though he had been burned. “I…” he started, only to snap his mouth closed. God, how was he going to say this?! “What happened last night?” he went for instead, figuring that it was a pretty good start. Maybe Jared had been just as drunk as he had been and this whole thing was just a mistake.

No such luck. Jared frowned softly when Jensen pulled away like that, wondering if Jensen had an issue with being touched unless they were having sex. “You don’t remember?” Jared asked, another small smile coming to his lips as he scooted just a bit closer. Even if Jensen didn’t want the contact, Jared did. And he was fine having sex with Jensen again if that was the only way to get him to touch him. Reaching up, Jared carded his fingers through Jensen’s hair as he explained, “We made love last night. It was perfect. You were perfect.”

When Jared leaned up to nip at his ear, Jensen skittered backwards so quickly that he fell off the bed. He heard Jared asking if he was all right, but he was preoccupied with trying to find something to cover up his nakedness. Grabbing a shirt from the pile of discarded clothing, Jensen quickly slapped it over his crotch, feeling a little better now that his junk wasn’t hanging out for Jared’s prying eyes. 

It was a mistake. That was all it had been. At least that’s what Jensen saw it as. Jared clearly saw it as something different and Jensen was going to break Jared’s heart with the truth, but he needed to say it. He wasn’t going to lead Jared on more than he already had. “Jared, listen,” he started, frowning once more when Jared’s expression fell. Like he already knew what was coming. “Last night…it wasn’t…” God, he had no idea how to say this. “It didn’t mean what it meant to you for me. I was drunk and I just…I don’t remember any of it.”

A small frown came to Jared’s lips at Jensen’s explanation. No, he’d wanted this. Jared had even given him a chance to stop and he hadn’t taken it. That could only mean that Jensen had been into it, so Jared wasn’t going to let him taint this memory. Slowly, he shook his head, licking his lips as he explained, “No, you wanted it too.” Pushing himself off the bed, Jared kneeled down next to Jensen, one hand fisting in Jensen’s hair as he leaned in closer. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t remember it, Jen. I can make you remember it just fine.”

Jensen squeaked – actually squeaked – with surprise when Jared’s lips crushed against his. For a minute, he was frozen on the spot due to the shock that was running through him. But when Jared tried to remove the shirt he was using as a blanket, Jensen quickly jumped into action, gripping Jared’s upper arms and pushing him away, holding him at arm’s length. “No Jared, listen to me,” he protested, shaking his head. “I was drunk. That’s all it was.”

At Jensen’s words, Jared felt tears pricking his eyes even as he shook his head. “No, no you’re lying,” Jared argued. “I even asked you if you wanted it and you said yeah. I gave you a chance to stop and you just kept kissing me.”

“I don’t remember any of that, Jared,” Jensen explained helplessly. “It was obviously a mistake. And it can’t happen again.” He saw how Jared visibly flinched at the words, but they needed to be said. “I-I should go.” Quickly, Jensen stood and picked through the pile of clothing until he found all of his stuff, yanking it onto his body without care. Once he was completely dressed, he turned his attention back to Jared. He hadn’t moved since Jensen started getting dressed. 

Before he left the room, Jensen explained, “You can’t tell anyone about this Jared. Promise me that this stays between us.” When Jared didn’t make a move to show that his words had registered, Jensen got on his knee and shook Jared, making sure he was looking at him when he repeated, “Promise me you’re not going to tell anyone about this, Jared. It stays between us.”

Although he wanted to scream it at the top of his lungs – to call Sandy and tell her that he had lost his virginity to Jensen – Jared knew that he couldn’t. There was genuine fear in Jensen’s bottle green eyes at the thought of someone else knowing he’d stoop so low as to make love to – no, fuck – Jared, and he knew that he couldn’t let it out. “Yeah,” he whispered, his voice broken. “I won’t tell anyone.”

Reassured that the secret was safe, Jensen pushed himself to his feet once more. With a muttered thank you, Jensen was out of the room and out of the house. As soon as he was gone, Jared collapsed into a heap on the floor, sobbing openly into the pillow that Jensen had been sleeping on the night before. He had been a fool to think that someone like Jensen would actually want him. No, he had just been using him for sex – that’s all Jared was to him.

**~~**

The History project was finished by Jared alone, not that he really minded. It was just the finishing touches anyway. He and Jensen only spoke so they could put on the presentation and then Jensen went back to pretending that Jared didn’t exist. Jensen was back together with Danneel now, so Jared figured that it was easier for Jensen to forget about the night they had. But Jared couldn’t forget. Not that he was really trying to.

His freshman year went on in a blur until it was finally over. And yeah, Jared still didn’t understand how people thought high school was the best years of their lives. Jared was summing this year up as one of the worst he’d ever had the displeasure of living.


	2. Chapter Two

Ten Years Later

It was quiet – unusually so, actually. Jensen didn’t like the quiet. The saying went “it’s always quiet right before the storm,” and Jensen believed it. In the days before the shit hit the fan, it was deadly quiet. At the time, Jensen hadn’t really thought anything of it, but now he wished he had read more into the signs. Usually, he was really perceptive, but he just hadn’t seen this coming.

Then again, he figured that he couldn’t fault himself for that too much. After all, a zombie apocalypse was only something out of the movies, right? Jensen had been naïve enough to think that. But in a world as fucked up as this, they were bound to make someone’s worst nightmares come true. The government just couldn’t help themselves – they were screw ups. 

At least Jensen thought the government had to be to blame for this. A virus that got out accidentally and poisoned the Earth, or some bad mystery meat in a school cafeteria – that shit was deadly in itself. In any event, this was what they had now and they had to work with it. Two years ago, after he had been promoted to detective, the world went to Hell. It started out slowly at first, only a few outbreaks here and there. Jensen had figured it was all a fluke – just some sickness that a few people were catching. But then it started happening more often. More and more people were getting infected and it just kept escalating until there were only a few people left.

When Jensen caught wind of what was going on and he learned that nothing was really being done about it, he quickly took matters into his own hands. The radio was broadcasting that there was a refugee center in Dallas, so Jensen had grabbed Danneel and made his way there. Unfortunately, there had been no refugee center – only death. Christian, his friend from college and his partner on the force, and Steve had similar hopes of finding the refugee center, but they quickly took charge and helped Jensen get the others who were hoping for the same thing formed into a functional, living group.

There weren’t a lot of survivors left from what Jensen could tell. As far as he knew, they were the only remaining people in this state, which kind of scared him. Their group was small – only thirteen now. When this all started, there had been thirty of them and now they were dwindled down to less than half of that. Seven women and six men were all that was left – Jensen knew they couldn’t lose anymore. 

So they’d doubled up on watches and made sure there was someone to look out for the dead every moment of the day. They took turns taking over the night shift because Jensen just didn’t think it was fair to have the same two people staying up all night. Really, only the men took watch – well, the men and a couple of the girls. Katie and Vicky, mostly – they were the best shots of the women. Hell, Vicky even out-shot her husband, Misha – Jensen made fun of him for it all of the time. 

But it didn’t really matter that the other women weren’t really all that great shots. They helped in other ways. Samantha cooked and helped keep the clothing washed. Sandy, Danneel, and Alona made sure that the clothes were clean and folded and put in the proper tents. And Genevieve, well she didn’t really supply much for the group, but she was Danneel’s friend and Jensen just couldn’t turn her away. Even if all she contributed to the group was her complaints about the weather and that she was bored. No shit she was bored – if she actually went out and did something, she wouldn’t have to worry about it. But Jensen kept his mouth shut about it. After all, he didn’t want to make waves with his girlfriend. They had to share a tent at night and she was a lot better to have around when she was in a good mood.

As far as Jensen was concerned, they were all one big family now. He knew most of the people in the group before this all started, and some he met after, but that didn’t change the fact that they were his family now. After all, his actual family had been ripped apart by the things that now populated over ninety percent of the Earth. Jensen didn’t like to think about it. It had happened when the outbreak first started and he hadn’t been around to save them. And yeah, there was a part of him that blamed himself, but there was no use dwelling over the past. What was done was done and there was nothing he could do about it.

Now, he had a whole group of people to worry about taking care of and he intended to do a better job of it than he had been. The last time an attack happened, Jensen had been on a run with Misha and they nearly lost the entire camp. Luckily, they had been able to get back in time with the ammunition that they needed to come out of it alive – well, with a lot of people still alive, anyway. They’d lost some good people in that attack.

Jensen hated the dead. His momma always told him that hate was a strong word and unless he really meant it, he shouldn’t use it, but he really meant it now – he hated them with a passion. The disease that took over once the body was drained of life reanimated the brain stem, allowed them to move around and crave flesh, but it didn’t bring back their personalities – the part of them that was human – that stayed dead. 

When the world fell, almost everyone went with it. They hadn’t seen another living person in well over ten months. Every town they went to was abandoned – it really seemed like the dead were all that was left with the exception of them. Jensen liked to believe that somewhere out there, more people were hiding away and trying to keep themselves alive. Of course, they hadn’t found anyone, but that didn’t mean they didn’t exist.

The first few weeks after the outbreak hit the news had been awful. People were scared out of their minds and running around the neighborhoods with guns and pitch forks. Half of the people had no idea what they were doing and they only ended up getting themselves bit or scratched, which ultimately ended in their deaths. Others just stayed in their houses until the dead broke down the doors and invaded their sanctuary. 

For a little while, the government tried to clean up the mess. The streets had been littered with SWAT teams gunning down the reanimated bodies, but it just wasn’t enough. It seemed like for every one they killed, three more took its place. They were being overrun and there was nothing they could do about it. Eventually, they just stopped trying, opting to bomb the city instead after about a month. Anyone who hadn’t evacuated the area had perished in the fire. Jensen thought that it was barbaric and unnecessary, but he didn’t have that kind of pull – he was just a detective, and a rookie at that.

He didn’t understand the point of bombing the place though because the dead were still everywhere. The walkers – that’s what they called them now – had taken over the planet. They were at the top of the food chain and the survivors were just trying to make it another day without becoming one of them. Each day it became harder to reach that goal, though. It seemed as though there was always something working against them. Supplies were always running low or a stray walker would make its way up to the camp and they would have to keep their guard up more than usual. Just last week, three people from the camp came down with the flu and Misha and Vicky had to run into town for some medication. 

They almost hadn’t made it back. That’s when Jensen had implemented the rule that more than two people needed to make runs into town. At least that way Misha and Vicky always had someone to watch their backs. Sure, with a bigger group came a greater risk of getting caught somewhere, but at least the odds of them all returning safely were better than just the two of them. And having someone else there to make sure everyone got back safely just made Jensen feel better. He happened to like Misha and his wife and he didn’t want to lose them. Jensen just couldn’t lose them right now – not after everyone else he’d lost. He wasn’t sure he could take it.

A nudge from Christian beside him brought Jensen back to the present. “Hey buddy, where’d ya go?” Christian asked with a small smile on his lips. “Seemed like you were deep in thought over there, Jen.” Lounging back in his chair, Christian kept a close eye on the horizon ahead of them, knowing that if there was going to be an attack, he’d have the be able to act quickly. If there were just one or two walkers, he and Jensen usually hopped off the RV and just took care of them with their knives. Noise attracted the walkers, so they tried not to use their guns unless it was necessary.

Smiling slightly at his friend’s almost carefree attitude, Jensen gave his head a small shake. “No, I was just thinking about when this all started. How scared everyone was. And what we’ve lost since.” There was a hint of sadness in his tone that he knew Christian would understand. He and Christian had been friends since before Jensen could remember. Sure, Christian was a few years older than him, and there was that period where they hadn’t talked much when Christian went off to college, but they had always been – and always would be as far as Jensen was concerned – best friends. 

Steve Carlson was another one of his good friends. He and Christian were like a package deal for some reason. Jensen suspected that it was because he and Christian were together romantically, but his friends hadn’t ever said anything and Jensen wasn’t going to push. After all, it wasn’t like he could judge them. Not after that night with Jared Padalecki.

Just thinking about the kid brought a sad smile to Jensen’s face. He really had liked Jared. Sure, he couldn’t give Jared what he wanted because he just wasn’t into men the way Jared was – unless he was drunk, apparently – but he had wanted to be friends with him. After that night though, Jared was distant. He wouldn’t talk to Jensen at all after they presented the project, and quite frankly, Jensen couldn’t blame him. He’d sent Jared mixed signals and then just crushed his hopes of having a normal, real relationship with Jared. And now he felt like kind of a dick about it.

Sometimes, when he actually had a minute alone, Jensen would wonder about the young boy who had made him throw all of his beliefs and values out the window that night. Sure, he could blame it all on the alcohol, but he knew it was a lie. There had been something about Jared himself that made Jensen want him. After all, he had been around many men when he’d been drunk before, and he never had sex with any of them. He’d thought that maybe one day he would meet up with Jared again and see if he still felt that pull when he was sober – and then he would know for sure how he felt – but he highly doubted that was going to happen now. Jared was probably gone. Just like everyone else Jensen cared about.

“Hey, walker,” Christian warned, sitting up a little straighter in his chair as he nudged Jensen once more. His eyes darted around the premises for any sign of more where this one came from, but it seemed to be all clear. “You want me to take care of it?”

Already unsheathing his knife, Jensen shook his head. “I got it.” After thinking about everything these freaks had done to the people he cared about since the apocalypse started, Jensen wanted to take his anger and frustration out on this one. Sure, it probably hadn’t been the one to rip his life away from him, but it would do as a good substitute.

It was clear the person had been dead for a while and his body had gone through some trauma since then. The flesh on his face was decayed and falling off, revealing patches of his black, rotten teeth. The stench would have almost been overwhelming had Jensen not been used to it by now. His hair was all but gone, a few scraggly, dead pieces flying this way and that on various parts of his head. And he was thin, his body looking emaciated from malnourishment. Blood was caked on his face around his mouth and on his nose, even a little bit on his wrinkled forehead. Although it was hard to see his eyes from the position on the RV, but Jensen knew they would be cold and dark, blood red around the pupil where the vessels had popped – they were all the same. It was something Jensen would never forget.

Hopping off of the RV, Jensen jogged over to the dead thing, slapping its hands away from him when it tried to grab at him. Quickly, with one swift, sure movement, Jensen slammed the blade of his knife into the thing’s forehead, not stopping until the hilt touched the rotting flesh. Its movements stopped all together and Jensen pulled his knife back, moving away from the body as it fell to the ground so he didn’t get anything on him. After all, they really didn’t know much about this virus – if it even was a virus – and he didn’t want to become infected. Not to mention this was his last clean pair of jeans until the girls decided to do laundry.

The body needed to be burned. That’s what they always did. Having dead bodies lying around wasn’t necessarily something that any of them wanted. Besides, it was just an added precaution to make sure they were really dead and gone this time. Sure, penetrating the brain with something sharp seemed to do the trick, but they weren’t going to take any chances. Not to mention that wildlife came through here sometimes to graze the area and they didn’t want it to get infected by walker infested land. After all, they sometimes killed that wildlife for food and they didn’t want it to be tainted.

Once he had his knife back in its sheath on his belt, Jensen climbed back up onto the top of the RV so he could continue with his watch. When he saw that Christian was looking at him as though he was waiting for something, Jensen frowned, flopping into his seat as he asked, “What?”

Unable to keep the smirk off his lips at Jensen’s genuinely confused expression, Christian asked, “Aren’t you gonna clean that up? The last thing we need is for the soil to get infested because of your laziness, Jensen.” Of course, he was kidding, but it would need to get cleaned up sooner or later. He and Jensen were on watch for the next few hours, so it couldn’t be by them. If they left their post for anything other than killing walkers, there was a chance something bad could happen. At least that was the excuse they used to get out of clean-up duty, anyway. Besides, Tom and Jim usually built the fires for the bodies, so they generally gathered them up when they were ready for them.

Jensen knew that Christian was just joking around with him, so he figured it was all in good fun to joke right back. “Nah, I was going to leave it down there for Genevieve to clean up when she got out of her tent. It’s about time she starts doing shit around here for a change. Everyone else does. And clearing out walker bodies seems like a good job for her.”

Now, Christian actually threw his head back with laughter before he realized that he was being loud and quickly shut his trap. “Genevieve, huh? That’s about as hilarious as saying this is all just a dream. You know she won’t do anything about that body. Except maybe hide from it and cry to Danneel that it almost touched her, or something.”

It was true. Genevieve would probably shriek and run away if she saw the walker’s body. That was just how she was. And then she would probably flirt with Tom until he took the scary thing away. God, he hated her. She was annoying as all hell. “Yeah, I know. Still, I’m not movin’ it.” With that, Jensen leaned back in his chair, keeping his eyes peeled for anymore uninvited guests that might wander into the camp.

A few hours later, Tom and Jim had the walker’s body in the fire and it was time for Jensen and Christian to switch off with Jim and Katie. As soon as he was free from his duty, Jensen headed to his tent, hoping to get some sleep before the sun rose. He hated how damn tired the night watch made him. He was sure to keep quiet when he entered the tent, knowing that Danneel was still sleeping inside.

As soon as he zipped up the tent, Jensen stripped out of his jeans and his over shirt, leaving him in just his boxers and a light T-shirt. He stretched out his aching muscles before he lowered himself onto the cot, a small frown coming to his lips when Danneel threw one arm and one leg over him. Even after all these years, Jensen still wasn’t a cuddler. And he didn’t feel right cuddling with Danneel when not two hours earlier, he’d been thinking about a certain boy with chestnut locks and a one thousand watt smile accompanied by dimples.

So much for Jensen being able to get any sleep tonight. Now that his brain was remembering things that it shouldn’t be, he wasn’t going to be able to stop thinking about Jared. He hated it when this happened. And it seemed to be happening more and more these past few months. Like his mind was trying to tell him something. Maybe it was trying to tell him that he wasn’t as happy with Danneel as he had been before and that he was missing a certain pair of slanted hazel eyes that held more emotion than any other eyes Jensen had ever seen.

Yeah, there was no way he was getting to sleep tonight.

**~~**

Sweat was pouring down his face when he finally found refuge behind a large tree. Sure, it wouldn’t hold the dead off for long, but he would at least get a little reprieve. It felt like he had been running for hours. And hell, maybe he had. Honestly, he hadn’t been keeping track. All he knew was that his family was gone and he was now truly alone. They’d been able to hold them off for a while – longer than he thought, anyway, but the time had finally come and he had been the only one who made it out unscathed.

They knew it was going to happen one day. He and his family had been preparing for it. The bag that was slung over his shoulder contained enough food to get him through at least a week – maybe more if he was smart about it – and he had enough ammo to make it through a small herd of the dead – or geeks as he liked to refer to them. Everything had been carefully planned out, including all of the exits in the house and where they would meet up if they had been separated. Three cars had been packed full of the essentials and they all had a full tank of gas. They were ready.

What they hadn’t been counting on was the sheer amount of geeks that had hit their home. They had been everywhere – coming in through every door and grabbing at them all. His father had been bitten first, his screams of pain echoing throughout the small house. The geeks grabbed his brother next and then his mother. His sister had been almost to the car before another swarm of geeks attacked, dragging her down to the ground and devouring her piece by bloody piece. The geeks had been so distracted killing and eating his family that he was able to slip away without much incidence.

That had been twelve hours ago. He was still shaken up about the whole thing, but he knew he had to keep going. It’s what his family would have done had they been in his position. The car had run out of gas about three miles back and he’d been on foot for what seemed like forever. He was vulnerable this way, and having the four geeks that were chasing him on his tail had only proven that point. And he knew this tree wasn’t going to hold them off if they caught up, so he pushed himself away from it and started running further into the woods.

A part of him knew that running for the woods probably wasn’t the best idea, but he hadn’t seen another option at the time. Geeks were coming from both sides of the street and this way had been clear. Now that he was thinking about it though, there was a chance there were more of the dead in here than there had been out there. Gripping the knife he held in his hands a little tighter, he made a hard right towards the road once more, figuring that was his best option. Maybe he could find an abandoned car and get the hell out of here. If there was still a safe place on this broken planet, he was going to find it.

He really hated being alone. Although he hadn’t been out in this world alone for more than a few hours, he already knew that he wasn’t going to like it. From what he could tell, there was no way for someone to survive if they were alone. Hell, people couldn’t even survive when they were in a group, so he really didn’t like his odds now. But that didn’t mean he was going to give up. He’d never given up with anything before and this wasn’t the time for him to start. With any luck, he’d catch a break and things would start looking up for a change.

Just as he broke through the clearing, he heard the sounds of moaning behind him, letting him know he wasn’t alone. Honestly, he was afraid to turn around and look because he had a feeling there was another herd on his tail. He knew that he wasn’t equipped to take on an entire flock of geeks – hell, he wasn’t even sure he could take on one at this point. His body just felt drained and a part of him didn’t even want to keep fighting.

After all, what did he have left to fight for? His family was dead and this world didn’t look like it was going to get better any time soon. The government wasn’t even trying to make it better anymore he was convinced. They’d just given up. This was all their fault more than likely and then they just tucked tail and ran. Then again, they had never been good at cleaning up their own messes. Like children who hadn’t learned to pick up their toys after they were done playing with them. And he was just done. Screw not being a quitter. He’d rather be with his family.

But there was a voice in the back of his head telling him that he had to keep fighting – he had to keep going. His family would have been disappointed in him if he didn’t at least try. So, gripping his knife tighter, he turned, ready for a fight. There were three geeks following after him, their heads hanging off to one side as they groaned lazily. Kicking out with his left foot, he managed to catch the leader of the three in the stomach, sending it falling backwards into its closest follower. 

Rushing the third one, he wrapped his hand around its neck to keep its head away from him as it snarled and chomped its jaws at him. He made sure to keep an eye on its hands as well, not wanting to get scratched before he could take it down. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the geeks he’d kicked down earlier starting to get up, so he knew he had to move fast. Quickly, he slammed his knife into the top of the geek’s head, twisting it once for good measure before he pulled it out, knocking the geek onto the ground as he braced himself for the other two.

Luckily for him, they weren’t very fast when they had fallen over, their bodies not strong enough to push themselves to their feet as it would have been when they were alive. The one that had gone down first was on its feet now and he shoved the knife upwards through its chin, groaning in disgust when blood spattered onto his arm and neck. He didn’t have much time to dwell on it though because before he knew it, he was knocked onto his back and the final geek was snapping its teeth at him, trying desperately to take a bite.

When he’d been knocked down, he hadn’t had a chance to get the knife out of the other geek’s head, so he was completely defenseless now. Using his arm as a shield, he looked at his surroundings, hoping to find something – anything – that he could use as a weapon. There was a rock within arm’s length, so he reached for it, kicking out at the geek on top of him and freeing himself. Once he could move, he scrambled towards the rock, grabbing it up before he straddled the geek’s chest. With one hard stroke downward, he smashed the rock into the geek’s skull, sending brain matter and blood all over the ground and even on himself when the geek’s head split wide open.

As soon as he was sure the thing was dead, he moved away from the corpse, frowning down at it. He hated having to kill things. It just wasn’t him. But in a world like this, it was necessary – kill or be killed is what his brother always used to say. And he knew it was true. Still, these geeks had been people at one point; before they’d died. Sometimes, he had a hard time separating them from the people they had been – especially when he had to take one he knew down. Like when this all started, he’d had to put down his next door neighbor. He’d known her since they were kids! It just felt strange.

More moaning from behind him signaled that he needed to get moving again. Taking a minute to grab his knife out of the previous geek’s head, he wiped it off on his jeans and started jogging towards the road again. There were no cars on this particular road, though – that would have been too easy. It was a good thing he was on the track team when he had been in high school and then continued his workout regimen through college because he was definitely putting his long distance running skills to the test.

**~~**

It took him about ten miles down the road to find a car that he could actually use. There wasn’t much gas in the tank, but it would be enough to get him to the heart of Dallas at least, which was all he needed. There had been a broadcast a while back explaining that there was a refugee camp in Dallas, and he could only hope that it was still there. If there wasn’t a camp, he had no idea what he was going to do. All he was sure about right now was that he couldn’t stand being alone anymore. It was just impossible to live on your own in this kind of world. If he didn’t find someone – anyone – soon, he wasn’t going to make it much longer.

Sure, some people might think that being on your own was better – smarter somehow because it saved on supplies and you only had to worry about yourself. But the truth was, loneliness got the better of people in this situation. He’d only been alone for half a day and he already felt like he was going insane. At least when he was with his family, he had people to talk to. Now he was basically just talking to himself, which was never a good sign. Not to mention the fact that he had no one watching his back now. When his family had been with him, they all looked out for each other. His brother had saved his ass countless times. 

But that was all over now. It seemed like there were only the geeks left to keep him company, and if that was the case, he didn’t want company. Dallas had to be safe – it just had to be. He kept telling himself that the refugee camp was intact and he would find people – actual living, breathing, and talking people – there to keep himself occupied. Hell, maybe he’d even see a few people from his past that he knew. It had been a while since he’d seen his friends from high school and he wouldn’t have minded catching up with a few people. Like Sandy – he hadn’t seen her since he left for college. She’d gone to the Ivy League schools because her parents could afford it while Jared had just stayed local. They still talked, but when the phone lines went dead, that little pleasure was ended as well.

And he missed Jensen. Even though the night they had together – or the morning after, as is more accurate – wasn’t something that Jared liked to remember, he still had feelings for Jensen. Honestly, Jared wasn’t sure they were ever going to go away. Ever since he laid eyes on Jensen – or The God as he had sometimes referred to him as – he had been smitten. There was no getting over that. Jensen had been his first love, and according to his mother, you never got over your first love. Of course, his mother had thought that he had loved Sandy, but those were just details. Jared had never actually gotten around to telling his parents that he was gay. He always figured that there would be more time. Apparently, he’d been wrong about that.

Jensen was probably gone now though. Unless he managed to make it to Dallas. And that was assuming the refugee camp was still there. Sure, it was a gruesome thought, but that’s all Jared had left for the most part. After seeing his family being torn apart by the geeks, he really couldn’t muster any more than one or two positive thoughts every few hours. 

Of course, he knew there was a chance that Jensen was still alive. And if he was, Jared could only hope that he could find him. Maybe now that the world was pretty much gone, Jensen wouldn’t care about his gender and he’d finally want to be with him. The romantic in him thought that maybe he would find Jensen and even if they were the only two living people on this planet, they would prevail and live happily ever after. But this wasn’t a fairytale – it was real life and it sucked ass right now. If Jared was going to meet up with anyone, it would probably be Danneel Harris. That would be just his luck.

A sputtering sound and the whole car shaking under him dragged Jared from his thoughts and back into reality. The car still had a little over a quarter tank of gas in it, so something else was wrong. And while Jared didn’t know much of anything about cars, he knew enough to know that the front end wasn’t supposed to be smoking the way it was. Great – so much for being able to make it to Dallas in this car. And wouldn’t you know it, he was on another street with no other cars in sight.

Pulling off to the side of the road, Jared cut the engine, glaring at the smoke tendrils coming from the hood. This was the last thing he needed. It was getting dark outside and there was no way he was traveling without the sunlight. Moving around in the dark was even more dangerous than running off by yourself through the woods. Sighing, Jared yanked the keys out of the ignition and stuffed them into his hoodie pocket before he huddled down into the seat a little more, stuffing his hands under his arms to keep them warm.

It was nearing the end of October, so the nights were getting chilly. The weather wasn’t unbearably cold, but Jared didn’t like to be even the slightest bit chilly. He was used to snuggling under his blankets when the weather got too cold for him at night. Sandy always used to make fun of him when he complained about being cold because his body gave off a lot of heat. Unfortunately, while it was giving off the heat for others, it was doing absolutely nothing for him. Maybe that was why he hated being so cold – he was jealous that his body mass was giving other people warmth and not him.

There was nothing Jared could do about his current car situation now, so he figured it was a good idea to catch some sleep. He wasn’t going to be able to get much, but he could at least sneak in a few hours, which would help him when he needed to get back on the road tomorrow. If he was well rested, there was a better chance of him getting to Dallas in one piece; especially if he had to go the rest of the way on foot. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if he would be able to sleep, but he was going to try. He was human, after all – he needed his rest if he wanted his body to keep functioning.

Although it was hard at first to relax and just stop his mind from wandering, Jared finally managed to fall into a light sleep. Unfortunately, it was anything but peaceful. Images of his family being mauled by people who had once been their neighbors and friends kept flashing through his mind, causing him to jolt awake every few minutes. Finally, he managed to cry himself into a deeper sleep, allowing him to get six more hours of rest. After all, he really needed it. His body was drained from the day before and even before then, he hadn’t been sleeping all that great.

Only when the sun started beating into his eyes did Jared finally pull himself from sleep, groaning slightly at all the pains and kinks he now had in his body. Dammit, he should have stretched out in the back seat. At least then he would have had a little bit more room for his long frame. It was too late to dwell on it now though, Jared shoving himself into an upright position as he looked around the area.

For the most part, it seemed safe. There was one geek a few feet behind the car, but Jared wasn’t worried about one. It was when there were three or four – or twenty – that he had to worry. Checking one last time just for good measure, Jared pushed his door open when he was sure that it was secure. The geek started making gurgling growls in her throat when she saw Jared climb out of the car, but she was slow and Jared could outrun her. He started off at a brisk jog, wanting to save his energy in case he ran into something he couldn’t handle easily. About five minutes after he started, the geek wasn’t in sight anymore, so Jared was counting that as a win. Only five miles left before he was in Dallas and at that blessed refugee camp.

Everything had gone smoothly on the way there – only a few geeks here and there, and Jared just outran them like he had done when he first got out of the car. He was finally in Dallas. Jared was so damn relieved that he could have sobbed, but he kept himself together. After all, he hadn’t found the refugee camp yet, so there was no use breaking down just yet. For all he knew, the camp wasn’t even here and then he would have wasted valuable time that he didn’t have. The sun was already setting and if he didn’t find that camp, he would be out in the open for the night. That just wasn’t acceptable now that the dead seemed to rule the Earth.

After walking a few more miles, Jared spotted what looked like flames coming from behind one of the buildings. Flames? That meant there had to be people around! How else would a fire start when there was no electricity and absolutely nothing around to start it?! Relief washed over him at the thought of finally getting off the streets and being with other people, causing Jared’s face to split into a wide grin. He was safe.

Running towards the building, Jared couldn’t help but fantasize about all of the wonderful things this refugee camp meant – food, water, shelter. Other people to be around so he could stop talking to himself. And there was always the possibility – though very small – that Jensen would be in there and when he saw Jared, he would realize how badly he’d wanted him to be alive and they’d live happily ever after. Of course, that last part was a pipe dream Jared was sure, but he wasn’t going to stop hoping. After all, hope was all he had left in this twisted, messed up world.

As he rounded the corner, Jared nearly fell on his ass when he had to stop abruptly. Instead of the refugee camp that he had been looking for, Jared found a herd of geeks feasting on the remains of a few human bodies strewn across the street. There was at least a hundred of them all gathered in this one area and now they all had their eyes on Jared. He was most definitely a goner. But he wasn’t going to go down without a fight. 

The geeks were getting to their feet now, more interested in Jared than the dead meat they had been gnawing on. Quickly, he drew his pistol and took aim, shooting the first three geeks that were coming at him in the head. He didn’t wait for anymore to get closer, turning on his heel and bolting back the way he had come. They were close behind – he could hear them running after him, but he wasn’t willing to look back. There were a line of cars piled up on the streets and Jared was running for them. Even if they didn’t work, he could at least take cover there until the geeks lost interest in him and wandered off.

He was about to get back on the road he had come in through, but another group of geeks was coming from that way, forcing Jared to skid to a halt and change directions, dropping his bag of supplies in the process. They were everywhere though, so it was too much of a risk to grab for the bag. It was like they were coming out of the woodwork or something and every time Jared thought he was getting some leverage, ten more would show up. The gunshots must have alerted them – that was the only reason Jared could think of that they seemed to be doubling in number. 

There was no way he was getting out of this. All of the cars on the street had dead people in them and Jared wasn’t going to run the risk of being locked in a car with a potential geek. So, he turned his attention to the buildings surrounding the area. Although it wasn’t necessarily the best idea to run into a building without knowing what he was getting into, he didn’t really have many options at this point. It was either find shelter in a building and worry about clearing it out later, or get ripped apart by a herd of hungry geeks – Jared was definitely going to take his chances with the buildings.

Unfortunately, it seemed like every building on this block had padlocks on the doors. Probably to keep the geeks out when this whole thing had started. Now, it was keeping Jared from finding a safe place to rest and catch his breath. He was over exerting himself in his attempt to get away, and he wasn’t going to be able to keep going at this high speed for much longer. His body’s energy was already starting to drain, his legs burning from the run and his chest tightening with each pull of oxygen into his lungs. Not to mention the major cramp he had in his side now – this just wasn’t going the way he had planned for it to when he came into this city.

About a minute later, Jared was finally on a street that wasn’t infested with geeks, but he could still hear them behind him. Taking this opportunity to check how many bullets he had left, Jared cringed inwardly at the realization that he was down half of his ammo in this gun. He had another one in the waistband of his pants, but he wasn’t sure how many bullets were in it either and he wasn’t about to take the time to check it out. Of course, he still had his knife, but hand-to-hand combat when there were so many of them didn’t sound like a particularly safe idea.

Once he knew how much ammo he had, Jared turned his attention to his surroundings. It was then that he realized just how screwed he was. During his attempt to get away, Jared had managed to get himself onto a dead end street, the giant wall behind him preventing him from getting any further. And if that wasn’t bad enough, the geeks were finally catching up with him, a few already trickling onto the road.

Well, if this was it, Jared wanted to at least take a few of them down with him. In his free hand, he grabbed his knife, charging at the few geeks that were in his path. He took them down quickly, not bothering to clean off his knife afterwards like he usually would. After all, he was going to need it. Taking down the next three that came at him, Jared actually felt pretty good about this whole situation. Some of the geeks were slower than others, so if they kept coming at such a slow pace, Jared knew he was going to be fine.

Then again, he had no idea why he would catch a break right now. Nothing in his life had ever been easy, so there was no reason this should be either. The geeks were coming in larger packs now and Jared had to use the bullets that he still had left in his gun. Quickly, he swapped guns, hoping that he had at least a little ammo in the other one. Before he could fire off another shot though, the blaring sound of a car alarm started going off, causing Jared to cringe once more. Everyone knew that geeks were attracted to sound, so this was just going to bring in more.

Taking care of the few that had come into his path with his knife so he didn’t make any more noise, Jared braced himself for the herd of geeks that would undoubtedly be coming his way. He waited a few agonizing minutes before he let his guard down. Apparently, the car alarm that must have been hit by another geek was drawing them away from him. Slowly, he moved towards the end of the street, keeping his eyes peeled for any movement. Something out of the corner of his eye moved and Jared raised his knife, body slamming the geek into the wall and raising his knife for the killing blow.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, not dead! I’m not dead!” the man Jared had pinned to the wall exclaimed, one hand raised in surrender while the other tightly gripped Jared’s wrist that held the knife. “I’m alive. I’m not one of them. Put the knife down, man and let’s get out of here.”

This wasn’t a geek. Jared had actually found another person – another living person! He could have cried he was so damn happy. But he knew there was no time for that. Quickly releasing the other man, Jared sheathed his knife once more, eyes wide as he gave his head a small shake. “Where are we going to go?” he asked, feeling like this had been the only place that had promised safety. If anything, this had been the most dangerous place Jared had been to since this thing started. There was no refugee camp here – this city belonged to the dead now.

It was easy for the other man to see the sheer hopelessness on Jared’s face, and he could only imagine what the guy had been through. Holding out his hand, he explained, “My name’s Chad. And while I would love to explain everything to you and give proper greetings and welcome hugs, that car alarm isn’t going to stay on forever. We need to be out of here before it stops and we become the most exciting things on the block again. Now, I have a small group of people – just three of us now – and you’re welcome to come back with me if you want to. But we have to move fast.”

More people who were alive? Jared couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Quickly, he nodded, letting Chad take the lead as he ran towards the end of the street and checked to make sure the coast was clear. Once that was finished, Chad grabbed the bag that he’d dropped when Jared slammed him into the wall and motioned for Jared to follow after him.

A few miles down the road, on the outskirts of the city, there was a van waiting for them. They quickly hopped in and Chad had the thing in drive before Jared even closed his door. As soon as they were both safely in the van, Chad peeled out of the area, not wanting to run the risk of being followed by any unwanted visitors. After all, they’d managed to keep the high school they were staying at clear of the dead – or biters, as they referred to them as – so far, and he didn’t want to compromise that.

When he felt a little safer, Chad slowed the car down, figuring it was fine to go a little slower now that they were out of the hot zone. “So, what’s your name, kid?” he asked, giving his passenger a reassuring smile. It had been a while since they’d met anyone else who hadn’t been infected with the virus, so he was counting today as a win. This meant that there was hope out there – not everyone had been touched by this plague and there was a chance other survivors were not far away. If they could get their group to grow, they had a better chance of surviving this thing. After all, no one could survive on their own for long out there now.

This had to be a good sign – the break that Jared had been looking for. With other people around looking out for him, there was a chance that he could beat this thing. And of course, he was going to offer his help as well. It was only fair since Chad was being nice enough to take him back to his camp and allow him into his group. “Jared,” he answered when he was asked what his name was. “My name’s Jared Padalecki.”

Smiling softly, Chad said, “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Jared.” Pulling off of the road and into the large driveway that led to the school, Chad continued, “Like I said, it’s a small group of guys in there. But they’re like my family. So I’m warning you now that if you try anything, I’ll kill you myself.” Honestly, Chad didn’t think Jared would try anything – he didn’t look the type – but the last group of people they’d allowed into their camp had tried to take it over. Chad lost his sister in the fight. It had been a day of great loss.

The high school? That was pretty brilliant. There were heavy doors to keep the place secured and there was a lot of space for a lot of people. Of course, Chad kept mentioning that there weren’t many people, but still – if they found more survivors along the way, this would be a great place to keep everyone safe. A small, confused frown came to his lips when Chad explained that he’d kill him if he tried to hurt anyone in the group, Jared giving his head a small shake. “I would never hurt any of you,” he assured his savior. “I’m grateful for everything that you’ve done for me already. If it hadn’t been for you, I would have died back there. Why would you think that I’d want to hurt you or your group?”

Chad felt a little bad for how he just dropped that on Jared, but he wasn’t taking any chances. “Yeah, well in this world, you can’t be too careful,” he answered sadly. Climbing out of the car, he reached back in and grabbed his backpack before slamming the door shut, waiting for Jared to join him on the driver’s side of the car. “The dead aren’t the only ones people have to look out for these days.”

With that, Chad headed towards the main door, knocking three times before pausing and doing it one more time. After a brief moment, the right side of the double doors opened, giving Chad and Jared access to the school. Jared could see the looks of suspicion on the other members’ faces, so he stuck close to Chad, figuring that this guy had trusted him enough to save his life and bring him into his haven, so he would probably protect him if he needed it.

Once Chad put the bag of supplies in the corner so he could empty it later, he turned his attention to his group. Michael hugged him first, Chad returning the hug with just as much gusto. Every time Chad went out alone, Michael would worry until he got back and Chad would receive a heartfelt hug when he returned. Michael had lost his family when this all began and ever since then, he was always worried that the rest of his group was going to meet the same fate as his family had. Chad felt really bad for him because he had been through so much already.

He smiled at Jeffrey when Michael let him go, returning Jeffrey’s hand shake in greeting. Chad then turned his attention to Jared, knowing that Jeffrey and Michael probably wouldn’t care he was in when Chad told him why he’d helped him. “Uh guys, this is Jared,” he explained, giving Jared a small nudge towards the other two members of the group. “I found him roaming around in Dallas being chased by a herd of biters.”

“What the hell were you doing out in Dallas?” Michael asked, a small frown on his lips. “Didn’t you know that city fell not too long after this whole thing began?” He had been under the impression that everyone knew that. After all, it had been ten months since this whole thing started – surely everyone had to be up to speed.

Frowning, Jared explained, “Uh…I heard on the radio before it stopped broadcasting that there was a refugee camp in Dallas. So I went there to look for it.” His frown deepened as he continued, “My, uh…my family and I were in San Antonio when this all happened. We stayed in our house and kept the geeks away all this time, but there were just too many of them. They came in and…they killed everybody. I managed to get away, and I’ve been on the road by myself for almost a day. I thought that maybe…if there was a camp there, I’d be safe.”

It broke Jeffrey’s heart to hear Jared’s story. He’d lost his wife and son in a much similar way, so he knew how badly Jared must have been hurting. And he also knew there was no chance he was making Jared go back out there. After the last incident, he’d been playing with the idea of whether or not he was going to continue bringing in “strays,” not wanting to get himself or his boys killed, but Jared needed them. Clapping Jared on the shoulder, Jeffrey smiled. “Welcome to the group, son.”


	3. Chapter Three

“All I’m saying is that we’re not going to be able to survive much longer on just this amount of food and water,” Misha explained as he and Jensen looked over the supplies that they had left. It had been a while since he and Vicky had gone out on a run and it was definitely time – past time – for them to go again. Of course, he knew that it wasn’t just going to be the two of them. Jensen had made it very clear that they weren’t to run off alone anymore after the last time. Not that Misha could really blame him for that.

Sighing, Jensen nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. They definitely needed to run out for supplies. Food and water weren’t the only things running low – the ammunition was also seriously depleting and that was something they needed almost as much as nourishment. If another herd of walkers came through and attacked them, with the small amount of ammunition they had at the moment, they wouldn’t last ten minutes against the dead. “Yeah, you’re right,” he assured Misha with another nod. “We’ll get a team together and head out in about thirty minutes. Let Vicky know we’re leaving and I’ll grab Christian. Meet back at the van in twenty?”

Once he received the nod from Misha, Jensen headed over to his tent where Danneel was lounging, chatting it up with Genevieve who was gushing about how hot Christian was. Too bad she didn’t know that Christian hated her guts – Jensen could have saved her a lot of heartache. Then again, he really didn’t care if she was setting herself up for failure. It was her own fault.

A small smile came to his lips as he got down on his knees so he could kiss Danneel’s lips softly before he crawled into their tent. There, he grabbed his favorite pistol, a knife, and his machete before stuffing an extra box of bullets in his jacket. When he got back out of the tent, Danneel was just giving him one of her looks – God, he hated those damn looks. “What’s the matter, baby?” he asked, trying to placate her before she made a big scene.

Unfortunately, Danneel wasn’t going to be placated this time. “You’re going into the city, aren’t you?” she asked, not even waiting for Jensen to answer before she rolled her eyes and shooed Genevieve away so she could have a conversation with her boyfriend. “Jensen, you know that I hate it when you go there! It’s dangerous, and I’m left here the entire time wondering if you’re dead or alive…or worse!” 

Great, they were really going to do this. Jensen just wasn’t in the mood, and he didn’t have time right now. “I know Danni, but we’re running low on supplies. We have to go on a run or else we’re not going to make it much longer. I’ll be fine. I always am.” And it was true – Jensen made sure to keep everyone in check when they were in Dallas because of how many walkers inhabited the area. That was why he chose his team carefully and he made sure they were always in formation and no one went off on their own. He knew what he was doing – he just wished Danneel would trust him.

Angrily, Danneel yelled, “But why does it always have to be you?! We have so many other men here who could handle going into town and getting supplies, yet you’re always the one offering up your own safety. Just because you feel like you’re the leader and you have to protect these people, Jensen, doesn’t mean you have to put yourself at risk!” Shaking her head, she cupped Jensen’s cheek, all but pouting. “Can’t you just have someone else go? Stay with me where you can be safe.”

Safe? They weren’t safe here. Sure, they were safer here than they would be in Dallas, but this wasn’t exactly Jensen’s idea of safe. Four walls and a roof would be safe – secure. They were out in the open here where anything could just sneak up on them and pick them off. And when they had no ammunition, their chances of survival were even slimmer than usual. But Danneel just didn’t understand that for some reason. She felt secure here because they hadn’t gotten attacked in a while. Jensen had a harder time forgetting about the lives they’d lost just a few months earlier.

A small, sad smile came to his lips as he took the hand on his cheek in his own, giving Danneel’s fingers a gentle squeeze. “We’re not safe here unless we have food and ammunition. That’s why I have to go. To make sure everything’s okay and we don’t lose anyone while also getting the job done.” Shaking his head, Jensen explained, “I can’t stand to lose anyone else when we’ve lost so much already.” Leaning in, Jensen pressed his lips to Danneel’s forehead before he stood to his feet. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be back in a few days. I always come back to you, baby.”

Not giving her a chance to argue with him anymore, Jensen headed towards Christian’s tent, calling out to his friend before he entered. A small, confused frown came to his lips when he saw Steve and Christian in the same tent looking a tad bit flustered. Honestly, Jensen couldn’t think of anything that would have his friend’s in such a disheveled state. After all, the only people who knew they needed supplies were Misha, Jensen and possibly Vicky. Jensen was going to tell Christian now, so that couldn’t be it. Perhaps this was another bit of information to add to his theory about the romantic relationship between the two of them. “What’s wrong?” Jensen asked, hoping that it was nothing too serious and his second thought was correct.

It was a good thing that Jensen announced himself before he came into the tent, otherwise he would have gotten an eyeful of something he probably wanted nothing to do with. For the last four years, Christian and Steve had been dating secretly, stealing kisses and making time for sex when they thought no one would miss them. Just now, they had been in the middle of a heavy petting session with Christian’s hand down the front of Steve’s pants and his lover growing hard in his palm with each upward stroke.

He’d just had time to yank his hand out of Steve’s jeans before Jensen walked in, and he knew that he must look like he’d been sucking face with a vacuum cleaner because they’d been eagerly devouring each other. That’s what Steve looked like anyway, so Christian was just assuming he looked about the same. “What?” he asked when Jensen spoke, feigning innocence. “What do you mean what’s wrong? Nothing’s wrong. What would be wrong?”

Jensen really didn’t understand Christian sometimes. His friend was just so…strange at times and honestly, Jensen wasn’t even sure he wanted to know what was going on in here. “Okay,” he answered with a shake of his head as he rolled his eyes. “Look, we’re heading out for a supply run soon. You comin’? Misha and Vicky are packing up the van right now.”

“Yeah,” Christian answered with a nod. “You know I’m always in when you need me, man.” He smiled at Jensen’s small smirk – they both knew they’d take a bullet for each other and they loved each other like they were actually related. Christian didn’t know what he would have done if Jensen had been attacked along with his family. He was sure he wouldn’t have made it as long as he had without his partner in crime. “Just give me a minute to grab my stuff and I’ll meet y’all by the van.”

As soon as Jensen was gone, Christian sighed in relief, allowing himself to relax once more. “That was close,” he breathed softly against Steve’s neck before nipping at the tantalizing skin. “Why do you have to be so damn sexy all of the time? Sooner or later, it’s going to get us into trouble.” His hips started moving of their own accord, picking up where they had left off before Jensen called out to him.

Although Steve wanted nothing more than to continue with what they had been doing, Jensen needed Christian to leave for Dallas with him so they could replenish their supplies. “Chris, babe,” he muttered with a small chuckle as he gently pushed his lover away from his neck. “While I would love nothing more than to just lay here and let you ravage me, you promised Jensen you’d go with him.” Now, Steve’s carefree attitude was gone as he cupped Christian’s face in both his hands, face clear with concern as he leaned in and crushed their lips together, tongue tangling with Christian’s as soon as he was granted access. “Just make sure you come back to me when you’re done. I mean it. Don’t let anything happen to yourself there.”

Now it was Christian’s turn to frown as he gave his head a small shake to reassure his lover. “Don’t worry so much, baby,” he teased, though there was a certain seriousness to his tone. “It’s gonna take a lot more than a run into the city to get rid of me.” Before he stood up to head to the van where they were all meeting, Christian pressed his lips to Steve’s once more, fingers carding in his shaggy brown hair. “Don’t have too much fun while I’m gone.”

With that, Christian headed out of the tent, shooting up a prayer to anyone who was listening that he and the rest of the gang make it back safely without incident. He had no idea what he would do if they lost another member of their group – they were already dwindling down to nearly nothing. And if he was the one to get himself into trouble, he knew that Steve wouldn’t be able to handle it. That was why Christian was always extra careful when he went on runs with Jensen. The last thing he wanted to do was leave Steve alone in a world like this. 

By the time he got to the van, everyone was already loaded up and ready to go. He quickly climbed into the passenger seat and buckled up, smiling at Misha and Vicky who were sitting in the back. “You guys know what we need, right?” he asked teasingly. “You know how I feel about going into situations without a plan.”

“Oh we know, you control freak,” Misha teased right back, chuckling to himself when Christian shot him a mock glare in the mirror. Although he hadn’t known Christian as long as Jensen did, he felt like they were close enough to joke around with each other. After all, if Christian didn’t like him, he would have made fun of him like he did with Genevieve – as far as Misha knew, Christian didn’t do that, so he figured he was in the “like” category. 

The ride down to Dallas was silent for the most part, everyone just focusing on the task at hand. They were about to walk into an active hot zone and it was going to be dangerous. Vicky still had nightmares sometimes about the last time they had come here and almost got themselves killed. She wasn’t necessarily scared for herself – well, not much anyway – it was for Misha. She didn’t want to lose her husband. That man meant everything to her and she knew that without him, she wouldn’t be able to continue living in a world so full of dread and misery. He was the only reason she woke up most days.

When they arrived on the outskirts of town, Jensen pulled the van over into the bushes to hide it from anything that might want to get into it before he cut the engine. Everyone climbed out as soon as Jensen pocketed the keys, grabbing their weapons and the chain cutters from the trunk. Before the whole city fell, business owners put padlocks on their doors so no walkers could get in when they weren’t open. Now, it just served as more of an inconvenience than anything. 

Once they were loaded up with their weapons, Jensen closed the trunk before turning his attention to his team. “Okay, everyone knows what we’re here for. Misha, you know the layout the best, so where are we headed first?” Misha knew where all of the good stores were located and he knew which ones still had things left. Most of these places had been picked through by other survivors before they all seemed to disappear, so Jensen was going to go by whatever Misha told him.

Misha thought back to the last time he and Vicky had been here, trying to remember what had been picked completely clean and where he might be able to find anything along the lines of food. He knew there was a grocery store on the other end of the city, but that would have to be saved for last since it was so far away. Ammunition was definitely closer. “We should head to the gun shop. The last time we were here, the supply was still pretty good. It’s the closest one to us right now.”

Nodding, Jensen explained, “We’ll hit that first then. Everyone needs to stay close and keep formation. No one runs off alone for any reason, do you understand me?” When he received the nod from each member of his group, Jensen returned it, focusing on the road they were going to take into the city. “Don’t fire your guns unless it’s absolutely necessary. Remember that we’re in an active hot zone and the walkers are attracted to any kind of sound.” Again, he nodded when he received the signal that his friends understood how this was going to play out. “All right, let’s get to it. In and out quickly with no incidents – that’s the goal.”

At the end of Jensen’s little pep talk, everyone held their knives at the ready and started off towards the road into the city. The gun shop was a good three minutes from here at a brisk run, so they needed to make sure those first three minutes went well. After all, if they didn’t even make it into the city because of walkers, they were surely going to die of starvation if they had to return to the camp empty handed.

**~~**

It had been about a month since Jared had been graciously accepted into Jeffrey’s group. He’d learned a lot about the geeks, or biters – he used both names now – since he’d been here. Like the fact that if he ever got himself in a bind, he could rub the geek’s blood all over his clothes and make himself smell like one of them as a diversion tactic. He really wished he had known that before – it possibly could have saved his family. He’d also learned that Jeffrey had been in the military previously, so he was excellent with a gun, and he knew how to handle himself in difficult situations. Jeffrey was definitely the person you wanted on your team when the world went to shit.

Right now, Jared was taking a look at their supplies. They were running dangerously low on ammunition. If one of those herds came through here, they were going to need all the ammo they could get. Jared had more in the bag he’d dropped in Dallas, as well as a few extra knives, another gun, and more food. Sure, they weren’t running out of food yet, but Jared was selfish – he wanted to eat his damn gummy worms that were in his survival bag. Besides, Chad had mentioned that they would need to make a supply run sooner or later – Jared figured now was as good a time as any.

He found Chad sitting in one of the classrooms on top of a desk with his legs folded over one another as he stared out the window. “Hey Chad,” he greeted, getting his friend’s attention. “It’s getting kinda sad over there in our supply room. I mean, we probably have enough food to last us until the end of the week, but our ammunition is seriously depleted. If something were to happen, we wouldn’t last long with what we have.”

Not taking his eyes off whatever he was looking at out the window, Chad answered, “We’ll go on a run later. Let Michael know we have to head out and see if he wants to come along.” Sometimes Michael chose to go in case there was anything in particular he needed, but other times he just stayed back. Chad was never really sure which option Michael was going to choose, so he always asked, just to be sure.

A small frown came to Jared’s lips when Chad didn’t even turn to look at him. “What are you looking at out there?” he asked, moving to stand next to Chad beside the desk. Now he could see that there were a few geeks stumbling around outside. He wasn’t sure how he felt about them being that close to the high school – this was where they slept. It had to remain secured. “Should we take care of them?” Jared asked, turning his attention to Chad.

Now, Chad did look at Jared, a small smile on his lips as he gave his head a small shake. “No, it’s not necessary,” he explained. “There are only a couple out there and Jeffrey scans the premises before we lock up the doors at night, so he’ll get them.” Hopping off the desk, Chad moved towards the door. “Let’s go find Michael. We might as well head out now while we still have some daylight.”

Jared simply nodded in response, following after Chad to go find Michael. Surprisingly, Michael actually wanted to go on this trip, not that Chad nor Jared were complaining. The last time Jared had been in Dallas, he’d nearly been killed, so the more people they had, the better chance they had of surviving. They quickly gathered their gear, making sure their guns were fully loaded and their knives were sharp enough to get the job done. Once that was finished, they let Jeffrey know they were headed out and climbed into Chad’s van. 

Before they left, Jared had made a mental list of what was needed while they were out which he kept repeating over and over again in his head so he didn’t forget. “Guys, when I was here the last time,” he started, making sure he had both Chad and Michael’s attention, “I dropped my bag when I nearly ran into that herd. It has ammo in it as well as food and water. There are more knives in it too. I think we should go back for it. I mean, it’s possible that the biters aren’t around it anymore, right? And we could use that ammunition.”

Although it was a risky plan, Chad didn’t think it was too risky to give it a shot. After all, Jared was right – they could use that ammunition. It was getting harder and harder to find ammo these days because people kept coming and picking it off. Unfortunately, they had never met these people who were apparently still going strong. If they had, there was a chance they could have grown their group even larger. Of course, now that was the farthest thing in Chad’s mind. Letting too many people into the group was just too much of a hazard these days. “Yeah, we can try to go back for it,” Chad answered with a small nod. “But if the biters are still there and it’s definitely a lost cause, we leave it. You got me?”

“Yeah, I got you,” Jared answered with a nod of his own. Chad was right – if the risk was too great, Jared would have to forget about the bag – and the gummy worms inside the bag. Maybe he would get lucky and they’d find some sweets at the grocery stores they were planning on hitting. Then he wouldn’t have to worry about his secret stash that he kept in his survival bag. Of course, there weren’t only gummy worms in there – he had a vast assortment of candy, including Nerds, Snickers, and even Swedish Fish. So yeah, he wanted that bag. 

As usual, Chad didn’t drive the whole way into the city, stopping on the outskirts so they could walk the rest of the way there. Once everyone had their bags slung over their shoulders they started jogging into the city. Chad knew the layout better than anyone, so he knew where they needed to go and when. The grocery store was the closest, so they were planning on hitting that first so they didn’t have to double back. 

The grocery store had a few geeks inside, but it wasn’t anything the three of them couldn’t handle. Once the place looked clear, Chad started gathering things that they would be able to make without a stove as well as snacks. Anything that looked like it was still edible went into his sack, a wide smile on Chad’s face when he found animal crackers, tossing three bags into his backpack – he loved animal crackers. “Everyone stay close,” Chad instructed when he saw Michael was starting to veer away from the group. “We’re not sure how many biters are around here and we don’t wanna get caught off guard.”

While Chad and Michael were gathering the essentials needed for the proper nutrients, Jared couldn’t stop thinking about the candy that would be at the cash registers. God, he wanted it so damn badly. And he knew that Chad had insisted that they all stay together, but it wasn’t like Jared was doing anything to help over here – Michael and Chad were gathering everything anyone could possibly want. So, Jared silently slipped away from the two of them towards the registers where he could get his fill of goodies.

Thankfully no one had been in here to take advantage of the sweets, which actually surprised Jared. He would have thought that candy would be the first thing to go since it was quick and a great pick me up. Of course, he wasn’t complaining that no one had grabbed all of the sweet, delicious candy – that just meant there was more for him. Quickly, he gathered up everything that was appealing to him and tossed it in his bag. By the time he was finished, he had Skittles, both sour and the regular kind, Ring Pops, Snickers, Reese’s, Milky Way, and Zero Bars. 

There was one thing he was missing though – Sour Patch Kids. Those were his absolute favorites, so there was no way he was leaving here until he had them. But those weren’t kept at the cash registers, which meant Jared actually had to go to the candy aisle. And he wasn’t going to run the risk of hitting an aisle without Chad and Michael. Besides, he wasn’t sure how long he had been gone already and if his friends realized he was missing, he was going to be in trouble. 

He was pleased to find that they hadn’t really realized that he’d been gone when he got back, Jared just acting as though he had been there the whole time. When they came up on the candy aisle, Chad had been about to skip right over it, but Jared wouldn’t allow that. “Wait, we need candy!” Jared explained, heading into the aisle before Chad could protest. “It’ll help keep our sugar up, which in turn gives us more energy. And it’s not like we have to worry about packing on the pounds or anything – not with all the running for our lives that we do.”

It took Jared about three minutes to clear out all of the candy that he liked the best, tossing it all into his bag with a wide grin on his lips. Sour Patch Kids, Gummy Worms, both sour and regular, Swedish Fish, and five bags of bubble gum – Jared’s bag was so full he almost couldn’t zip it up. “Okay, we can keep going now,” he grinned triumphantly as he headed towards the next aisle.

Chuckling, Chad just shook his head at Jared’s overstuffed bag. “Dude, you have an addiction,” he teased. “Do you eat candy like that all of the time? Even before this whole thing started?” When Jared nodded, seeming confused as hell, Chad merely laughed once more. “How are you not some four hundred pound slob who smells like sweets?”

“I worked out a lot,” Jared answered with a small shrug as though it was the simplest answer in the world. As he’d explained to Chad earlier, the candy had helped keep his energy up and he would always stuff a couple handfuls of whatever his candy of choice was that particular day into his mouth before a track meet. He’d get the energy he needed to outrun all of the other competitors, and he’d burn the calories he just took in while he ran – it was a win-win situation.

Once they had everything they needed from the grocery store, Michael checked to make sure the coast was clear before they headed out of the store, keeping their eyes peeled for unwanted visitors. Now it was time to check and see if Jared’s bag was worth the risk of grabbing. It was the closest thing to the grocery store, so Chad deemed it the next important. However, when they got there to retrieve it, the bag was gone. “Are you sure this is where you dropped it, Jared?” Michael asked, a small frown on his lips as he looked around the street. “I mean, you were being chased by a herd of biters – isn’t it possible that you dropped it somewhere else and just think this is the place?”

That would have been a valid point, had Jared not remembered the small gas station that was right across the street from where he’d dropped the bag. “No, this was it. I’m sure. I remember that gas station over there,” Jared explained, pointing to the small building. “Someone must have come along and taken it.” More survivors – at least that’s what Jared was thinking. After all, what would geeks want with a bag full of weapons, ammo, and stash of candies? No, this had to be people. Which meant there were other survivors out there – a part of Jared wanted to find them and see who they were. His fantasy brain was working overtime again, and no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t shut it off.

Without the bag, they really needed to get ammunition. Chad knew of a couple of places they could go, one place being closer than the other at just a few blocks down. Of course, it was chained off, so they would have to enter through the fire escape on the roof. Chad had done it numerous times before, so he knew that it was safe. “All right, c’mon,” Chad muttered, motioning for the rest of his group to follow him. “We can’t stay here for too long and draw attention to ourselves. There’s a shop a few blocks down where we can find ammo.”

A few geeks tried to attack them on their way to the shop, but Jared took care of them easily with his knife, clearing the pathway once more for the rest of his group. As they were climbing up the ladder to make it to the roof, one of the biters grabbed ahold of Chad’s ankle, forcing Chad to kick it in the head to make it let go. He groaned in disgust when they made it up the ladder and he saw that he had biter flesh on the sole of his shoe. “That’s just sick,” he complained, wiping his foot off on the cement with a sour look on his face.

When Chad was satisfied that his shoe was no longer infested with biter skin, he headed to the door, pulling it open just slightly and waiting to make sure he hadn’t alerted anything. Sometimes, biters liked to hide in the staircases and attack in the dark when the prey was least expecting it. After a few minutes of nothing happening, he figured everything was safe, so he led Jared and Michael into the building, jogging down the stairs and entering the main building. There, they all started gathering ammunition, Jared using Michael’s spare bag since his was full of food.

Movement from the other side of the building caught Jared’s eye, causing his whole body to stiffen. This place had been chained off, so surely there couldn’t be any geeks in here, right? Apparently, some biters had gotten in through the fire escape on the roof somehow. “Hey!” Jared called softly to alert Michael and Chad, raising his knife and jerking his head in the direction of the movement. “I’ll be right back.”

Before Chad could protest, Jared silently snuck over to the other side of the store, keeping his knife raised and his stance defensive in case he needed to fight. He saw the geek crouching on the floor over a dead body, groans escaping its throat as it presumably ripped apart its victim’s body – Jared couldn’t actually see what it was doing. Taking one step closer, Jared raised the knife higher, ready to make the killing blow.

However, just as he was about to strike, the thing sprung up, grabbing his wrist and slamming him into the wall behind them, knocking over a few empty shelves in the process as a knife was pressed against his throat. This wasn’t a geek – it was a person. And Jared knew this person. “Jensen,” he breathed, his heart pounding so hard and fast in his chest that Jared thought for sure he was going to have a heart attack. 

The walkers had managed to find them and now it was a kill or be killed situation. Christian had Misha and Vicky in the back of the store, keeping formation and killing every walker they saw. Jensen had come out here to continue collecting supplies while also killing walkers who got too close. He’d just taken this one down when he heard movement behind him. So, he’d waited until the last possible second before he jumped up and struck. However, this wasn’t a walker – this was a human being, and he was alive. 

That wasn’t the biggest kick in the pants though. No, it was the fact that this man who he had pinned against the wall was the man he thought about late at night when he couldn’t sleep. It was fucking Jared Padalecki! “Jared?” Jensen asked, slowly releasing his grip on the new arrival. “What – How – Why are you here?” he stammered, unsure of which question he wanted to ask first. “Have you been alone all of this time?”

Alerted by the noise that the shelves falling over had made, Chad and Michael came running towards Jared, their knives held tightly in their hands and raised for a fight. However, when Chad saw that it was a person who had Jared pinned, he quickly pulled his gun on the man, turning the safety off and taking aim. “Let him go!” Chad ordered, glaring daggers at the man who he thought was going to hurt Jared. “Now!”

“No, Chad, don’t!” Jared exclaimed, holding his hands up in a motion of surrender so Chad would back down. “I know him. He’s fine. He just…thought I was a geek. It’s fine. Just put the gun down.” Jared couldn’t even imagine what he would do if Jensen were to be gunned down by Chad because he looked like he was threatening Jared’s life. After all, Jared had just learned that Jensen was alive and now he was so scared that he was going to lose him again. But Chad lowered the gun and Jared felt as though he could breathe again, his arms slowly lowering as he turned his attention back to Jensen. “What are you doing here, Jensen?” he asked, emotions from the day that he tried not to think about making him feel a little on edge – off balance.

For a minute, Jensen actually thought he was going to have to draw his pistol if he didn’t want to be shot, but the man dropped his weapon first, so Jensen didn’t think any more on the subject. His mind was too busy trying to process the fact that Jared was still alive. And he looked good – even better than he had ten years ago when he and Jensen had fooled around. He almost didn’t realize that Jared had asked him a question. “Uh…we needed ammunition and food. Our supplies were running low, so we had to go on a run,” Jensen explained, pointing the area where the rest of his group was.

Just then, Christian, Vicky, and Misha came running out of the back, guns held in their hands and ready to fire if necessary. “There are too many of them comin’ at us, Jen,” Christian explained. “We gotta get out of here somehow or else we’re not gonna make it back to the camp.” As far as Christian was concerned, that was just unacceptable. He’d promised Steve that they were going to make it back to the camp just fine, and he intended to keep that promise.

He realized that they were not alone a few seconds later, his jaw hanging open at the sight of other living people. “Holy shit, we’re not the only ones who are still living in this fucked up world!” he exclaimed, extending his hand to Michael. “My name’s Christian. I would offer you a proper greeting, but we’ve got walkers beating down the doors over there and we gotta come up with a plan to get the hell out of here. Any suggestions?”

Michael hesitated a second before he took Christian’s hand, giving it a firm shake. “Michael,” he answered glancing back at the doors Christian and the other two had just come through. If there were biters out there, he could only imagine how many were there. Christian had mentioned there were too many of them to fight, so he had a feeling they were screwed for the most part. “Um…well there are seven of us now, so I would suggest that we take out as many as we can and then use the fire escape on the roof to get away. Maybe if we fire off guns in here, the biters that were out there will be alerted to the noise and move this way, which would give us an out.”

Although Christian wasn’t easily impressed, he had to admit that Michael had a damn good plan. It was what he was thinking, but he figured he’d ask just in case there was a safer, easier way to do it. Apparently, there wasn’t. Shrugging, he explained, “All right, sounds like as good a plan as any right now.” Turning his attention to Jensen, Christian waited for him to make the call. After all, they’d appointed Jensen the leader of their group for a reason.

Even now, Jensen was still trying to process the fact that Jared was here, but he managed to shake it off for now in favor of leading his group. He needed to get his damn head in the game and just focus on the task at hand – getting them all out of this building safely. “Okay, everyone stay in formation,” he explained, keeping his attention on mostly Jared, Chad, and Michael since his group already knew that was rule number one for survival. “No one goes off on their own and tries to be a hero – that’s how people die. Aim for the head and don’t miss. But most importantly, whatever you do, don’t get bit or scratched.”

This was going to be an interesting time, Misha was sure. He didn’t necessarily think the plan was bad, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. He much rather would have just gone to the roof right now and focused on clearing the walkers from the ladder so they could get down and out of here. Then again, he knew that was just the fear talking because if they fired their guns out there, more walkers would just keep coming and they’d never be free. He was just scared that something bad was going to happen to Vicky – she was his wife and he loved her, so he worried about her. Possibly a little too much depending on who you asked. 

Nevertheless, he made sure to stand close to her, using his larger size to shield half of her body from the walkers that were about to burst through those doors at any minute. After all, the glass wasn’t going to hold out that many hands beating on the doors for long. It was only a matter of time before they were overrun and they had to really fight to stay alive.

It wasn’t long before the sound of breaking glass shattered the silence in the room and the dead were stumbling their way into the room where the survivors were waiting. The moans and groans from excited, hungry geeks filled their ears and it made it hard for Jared to focus. Everything was just becoming too much for him in this moment. All he could think about was how his family had been ripped apart by these things, and how very similar this scene was to that one. After all, it was still very fresh in his mind and the sheer amount of geeks here rivaled that of the herd that had attacked his family.

Flashes of those things grabbing his mother and his brother went through his head as he fired at the first animated corpse, tears in his eyes as he remembered watching his brother being dragged to the floor as the geeks tore him open and feasted on his internal organs. By the time the flow of zombies started to die down, Jared had tears rolling down his cheeks and he didn’t even realize that his gun was out of bullets, only the sound of click, click, click sounding as he pulled the trigger.

They’d taken down a good many walkers, the bodies of their fallen comrades keeping the others from getting to the living group too quickly as the walkers kept tripping over the dead bodies in their haste to get to them. Jensen, who was standing next to Jared was the first to see how upset Jared was, a small frown coming to his lips as he wondered what he should do. Turning his attention to the others, Jensen ordered, “Get to the roof. We should be good by now. It looks like we handled a lot of them.” 

By this time, everyone had noticed the state Jared was in and his friends were about to rush towards him, but Jensen stopped them, holding out a hand to the two men. “I’ve got him,” he assured them. “Just lead everyone to the roof. We’ll be right behind you.” Fortunately, everyone listened, though Michael had to practically drag Chad out of the room. It was obvious he cared a lot for Jared. Maybe they were lovers. And no, that possibility didn’t make Jensen jealous – not one bit.

Once they were all gone, Jensen turned his full attention back to Jared, who was still pulling that damn trigger. The walkers were coming faster now – apparently there was another wave – and Jensen knew they had to get out of there. With just the two of them, there was no way they were going to be able to take down the walkers that were coming now. “Jared, we have to get out of here,” he explained, aiming his gun and shooting the closest walker in the head. “Jay, listen to me! We can’t stay here!” 

This wasn’t working. Screaming Jared’s name was only drawing more walkers into the building and Jensen was running out of ammo. As a last ditch effort, Jensen roughly yanked the gun out of Jared’s hands, grabbed Jared’s cheeks in his palms and forced him to look into Jensen’s eyes. “Jared, we’re going to die if you don’t snap the fuck out of it! You need to focus.” His thumbs gently brushed away the tears that were streaming down Jared’s face as Jensen pleaded, “C’mon, man, listen to the sound of my voice and come back to me, dammit!”

Come back to me. Jared knew that voice. It was—“Jensen?” Jared asked, blinking slowly as though he was waking up from a really bad dream. “What – What happened?” The last thing he remembered was gearing up for a fight with the geeks and then everything just went blank. He didn’t think that he’d passed out though because he was still on his own two feet and he didn’t feel as though he’d been injured in a fall recently.

Relief flooded through Jensen when Jared said his name, his thumbs rubbing gentle circles into Jared’s jaw of their own accord. “God Jared, don’t ever do that again, do you hear me?!” Jensen growled, carding his fingers through Jared’s hair before he finally released him. “You went into some kind of trance or something. In the middle of a hot zone. You scared the hell outta me, Jay!”

Oh yeah, now Jared remembered what had happened. All of the geeks charging at them at once made him think of his family and the way they had been attacked. He didn’t want to think of that right now – or ever, really. What he did want to focus on was the way Jensen’s thumbs had felt when he rubbed them against his jaw and how his body reacted when Jensen used that tone with him just before running his fingers through his hair. But the feeling was gone much too soon and he was dragged back into the painful reality he lived in. The one where Jensen wanted nothing to do with him romantically and there were reanimated corpses running around trying to eat the flesh from your bones – Jared really hated reality.

A geek was getting dangerously close and Jared had no idea where his gun had gone, which caused him to panic a bit. However, before he could go into full blown anxiety mode, Jensen raised his pistol and fired off a shot, hitting the thing right between the eyes before he shoved the gun back into its holster and grabbed Jared’s elbow, pulling him along after him. “C’mon, we gotta get to the roof and join the others,” he explained, shoving Jared through the door first before following after him, slamming the door behind him so the walkers couldn’t get too close.

As soon as Jared stepped out onto the rooftop, he was met with an armful of Michael and Chad. “Whoa!” he exclaimed, wrapping his arms around the two men once he had his footing and he was sure he wasn’t going to fall. “It’s nice to see you guys, too,” he chuckled, though he knew why they were hugging him like this. He just hoped no one brought it up because that was not something that he wanted to talk about right now. The death of his family was still too fresh in his mind.

Pulling back from the hug, Chad pointed a finger at Jared and scolded, “Don’t scare me like that again, dude! Seriously, I thought you were having a mental break down or something!” He knew that it was possible, but he didn’t want to have to deal with the aftermath of finding Jared, befriending Jared, and then losing him to his own fucked up memories. That would have been just his luck.

It was nice to know that someone cared enough about him to be worried that he was going to have some kind of mental breakdown. “I’m fine,” Jared assured Chad with a small smile. “But um…can I talk to you guys for a minute? Alone?” He jerked his head to the side to indicate that Michael and Chad were supposed to follow him over there. Jared wanted to run something by them and he was just hoping that they would like his plan. “I was uh…thinking about this group here,” he started, frowning over at the four newcomers. “What if we took them and their people back to the high school?”

Without even giving it any thought, Chad shook his head, not caring that Michael was at least taking a moment to consider it. “No, we’re not taking them with us,” he assured Jared. “Jeffrey doesn’t like to let too many people into our group. You never know who you can trust these days, you know. Biters aren’t the only things we have to look out for. People are still maniacs! Sometimes, you can forget that living in the world we live in, but it’s the truth. So no way – it’s not going to happen.”

Anger bubbled up inside Jared when Chad didn’t even take the time to think about Jared’s suggestion. He wasn’t about to give this up without a fight. “Chad, I know Jensen,” Jared argued. “I know he’s not that type of person. And he wouldn’t associate himself with those kinds of people either. Besides, it would be beneficial for us to have more people in our camp in case something bad happened, God forbid. I say, if Jensen and his group want to come with us, then they should.”

Again, Chad didn’t hesitate before he shut Jared down. “It’s too much of a risk, Jared,” Chad explained with another shake of his head. “Besides, even if I agree with you, Jeffrey wouldn’t like it. You’re lucky he even let you stay with us. How do you think he’s going to feel about having who knows how many more people coming to stay there with us?”

While Jared could appreciate that Jeffrey was worried how newcomers were going to react, he had to admit that he wasn’t willing to leave Jensen. Now that he knew he was alive, Jared just couldn’t leave and run the risk of losing him. Even if he really didn’t have Jensen right now, he felt like maybe there was a chance it could happen after the scene that had gone down in the gun shop, and he didn’t want to lose him. “Fine,” Jared finally answered, glancing back at Jensen before turning his attention to Chad once more. “Give me my bag then. I’ll just go with them.”

That was the last thing Chad had expected to come out of Jared’s mouth. “What?!” he hissed, frowning at Jared. “Are you fucking serious?! You’re going to choose them over us? We’re the ones who were there for you when you didn’t have anyone else, Jared! I saved your damn life! Has Jensen ever done that for you?!”

He couldn’t believe this was happening. Jared was going to run off with the new group because Chad wouldn’t let them come back to the high school with them, and Michael wasn’t about to let that happen. In all honesty, he would rather invite a group of strangers who Jared was willing to vouch for back to the high school and risk losing everything than have to part with Jared. So, when Jared reached for his bag which Michael had swung over his shoulder, he quickly stepped back, shaking his head. “No, you’re not leaving!” Michael argued, glaring daggers at Chad. “We can deal with Jeffrey. If you want them to come back with us and if they want to come, then let them. I’ll handle Jeffrey.”

Although Michael’s decision earned him glared daggers from Chad, Jared couldn’t help but hug Michael for his help. “Trust me, you won’t regret this!” he assured his friends, smiling slightly at Chad and hoping there were no hard feelings there either. He’d smooth things over with Chad later if he had to. “Why don’t you guys take our gear and head back to the high school; warn Jeffrey we’re coming? I’ll head to Jensen’s camp so I can lead them there.”

Once he had the nod of approval from Michael, Jared turned towards Jensen and his group, taking a deep breath before he marched over to them. “Hey Jen,” he smiled softly, touching Jensen’s shoulder. And no, that wasn’t a jolt of pleasure shooting through his entire body just from that one little, completely platonic touch – not at all. “Can I talk to you for a minute?” He didn’t want to tell Jensen in front of all of his friends just in case Jensen chose not to go with them. After all, that was a possibility. If that happened, Jared was going to have to find a car and get himself back to the high school he supposed.

“Uh…yeah, I guess,” Jensen answered, allowing Jared to lead him away from his group. When Jared stopped and turned to look at him, he looked like he had something serious to talk to Jensen about – he was all business. Jensen was honestly a little worried about what was going to be said. The last thing he wanted right now was a heart-to-heart about what had happened in the gun shop. He’d only been doing what he thought would bring Jared back. At least that’s what he was telling himself anyway. “What’s this about?” he asked, a small frown on his lips when he realized that Michael and Chad were gone.

There was a chance this could backfire in his face and Jared was freaking out now that he actually had Jensen alone. His mind just went blank for a second while he stared into Jensen’s bottle green eyes, remembering that night that had changed his life forever. God, he wished so badly that Jensen would have just stayed with him. Why the hell had he gone back to Danneel?! What did she have that Jared didn’t? Well, except the obvious physical anatomy, that was. Jared was better for Jensen than she was – he knew how to have a good time and he wasn’t clingy, unlike her.

Belatedly, he realized that Jensen had asked him a question and he hadn’t answered. “I was just thinking that maybe, if you wanted to, you and your group could come and stay with us,” Jared explained, licking his lips. “We-We have a place – the high school that we went to. It’s secure. I mean…I’ve only been there for a month, but as long as I’ve been there, nothing has gotten in unwanted. Chad and Michael went back there to let Jeffrey know that we might have more people coming, so if you want, our door is open.”

Jensen wanted to go. That offer of protection was just too much to pass up. But could he go somewhere with Jared – live in such close quarters as Jared – and not be affected. Honestly, Jensen wasn’t sure. He’d only been with Jared for a little while now and already he could feel the pull, which he was adamantly ignoring. Jensen was with Danneel – he loved Danneel! So why did he feel this way about Jared – a guy when he was never interested in men before?! 

It was all too confusing to think of right now. Besides, he had better things on his mind. Like the fact that Jared was offering them shelter. Really, he should have talked it over with everyone else who was on this run, but they had appointed him group leader for some reason he supposed, and now it was time for him to step up and make decisions. “Yeah, we’d love to,” he answered with a small nod. “You know there’s like…thirteen of us, right?”

A small smile came to Jared’s lips when Jensen asked if he knew there were more. “I kind of figured there were more people with you,” he answered. “You remember what our high school looked like, right? I mean, it was huge! I think we should have enough room for all of you.” Jared was sure that they’d have enough room. After all, it looked as though Misha and Vicky were together, so they could share the same space. And Jared was sure others wouldn’t mind sharing the same space either. Like Jensen and Danneel – if she was even still alive.

This was going to be great. Jensen had just been thinking that they needed a more secure area and now they were going to get one thanks to Jared. Honestly, he had no idea why Jared was being so nice to him after the way he’d treated him in high school, but he wasn’t going to complain. After all, the world had ended, so maybe Jared figured they should just get over it. And Jensen was completely fine with that. He tried so hard to forget that day, so the less he had to think about it, the better. “Okay, great,” he smiled, turning back to Christian and the gang awkwardly. He had no idea how to be around Jared in front of other people. Jensen felt like they could all tell that he’d had his cock inside Jared and it just made him feel uncomfortable. 

Of course, Jensen knew that he was overreacting and being stupid, but it didn’t help the fact that it was the way he felt. “So, um…our van is parked on the outskirts of town just east of here. There’s enough room in there for you if you want to come explain everything to the others. I mean, they’re probably going to hug you and worship you for making them feel safe now. We’re out in the middle of nowhere just outside the city, but that doesn’t mean we’re safe. The dead are everywhere, Jay. I’m sure you know that. So, we really appreciate what you’re doing. I really appreciate what you’re doing.”

Heat rose to Jared’s cheeks when Jensen thanked him, Jared giving his head a shaky nod. “Um…y-yeah, no problem. Don’t worry about it,” he smiled. “Let’s just focus on getting back to the van and then you can thank me.” With that, Jared walked towards the ladder that would take them down to the street and made sure that the coast was clear. Once he knew they were safe to move, he motioned for everyone to hurry up. They didn’t know how long the geeks would be beating at the roof door in an attempt to try to get at them.

Before Christian moved to the ladder, he allowed Misha and Vicky to get a head start, his icy blue eyes focused on Jensen. When his friend came back over to join him, he chuckled at the blush that went all the way up to Jensen’s ears. “Careful Jen,” he warned teasingly. “If I didn’t know any better, I might think that you have a crush on the newbie over there.”

“Shut up,” Jensen chuckled, hitting his friend in the arm and shoving him towards the ladder. It was true. He did have a crush on the newbie he supposed. But that didn’t mean that Christian had to know. After all, how would he go about telling his best friend – his fucking brother practically – that he was gay and he’d had an experience with Jared ten years ago that he just couldn’t get over. It was an impossible task.

They made it to the van without incident, luckily, Jared climbing into the back to sit next to Vicky. When they went to the high school he’d have to sit up front and lead Jensen there, but for now it seemed like Christian considered the front seat his home, and Jared didn’t want to make waves. It was better to just sit in the back and keep his mouth shut while Jensen led him to the rest of the survivors.


	4. Chapter Four

Chad slammed his door once he’d climbed into the van, roughly turning his body to grab his seat belt and snapping that into the buckle with much more force than necessary just so he made sure that Michael got the picture that he was pissed off. And it worked. Michael was giving him that look that he always had when there was a problem. “How could you let him bring all of those people back to the high school?” Chad snapped when Michael continued to just stare at him. “You know Jeffrey is going to be pissed about it! Yet you did it anyway!”

“He was going to leave with them!” Michael yelled back, not understanding how Chad couldn’t see that. “If we didn’t let him bring those other people back, Jared was going to leave with them!” Before Chad could interrupt him, Michael quickly raised his voice as he continued, “No, you listen to me! Jared is like our family now. And in case you haven’t noticed, we don’t have much of that left! So yeah, I told him that he could bring them back because it was the right thing to do! I wasn’t willing to lose another member of this group, so I made the decision to invite others back. And you know what? I’d do it again in a heartbeat! I’ll deal with Jeffrey when we get back, so quit worrying about him!”

Although he could see where Michael was coming from, Chad still didn’t like the idea of having strangers living in his house. So he just let words that he didn’t actually mean come out of his mouth. “You should have just let him go then! If he wanted to ditch us for some other group, then who needs him?! We sure as hell don’t! The three of us got along just fine before Jared came and we could have done it again! When other people are invited into the group, bad things happen! Remember the last time? We lost people, Mike! Good people! My sister was killed and for what?! The fucking high school? Is it worth the lives of the rest of our group, Mike?!”

Shaking his head, Michael argued, “You don’t mean that, Chad. You’re just mad and you’re saying the first thing that comes to your mind. Jared is our family. And these people he’s bringing with him could be, too. He said that he could vouch for them, so the least we can do is give them a chance.” Smiling softly, Michael took a chance and placed his hand on Chad’s shoulder, knowing full well that his friend was pissed off and there was a chance he’d get his hand slapped away. “Not everyone is bad like those men we allowed into the group. Some people out there still have the decency to be civil.”

At first, Chad wanted to shove Michael’s hand away from him, but he refrained. They were friends and there was no need to get into an argument over something like this. After all, he was right – maybe these people wouldn’t turn out to be dicks like the last ones. And Michael had said he’d take care of Jeffrey, so there was no reason for Chad to be upset. They’d get through this just like they got through everything else. Sighing, he gave his head a small shake, letting it hang between his shoulders as he just let the calm feeling wash over him.

After about a minute, he chuckled before he turned his attention to Michael. “You better be right about this,” he teased. “And don’t you dare try to chicken out when it’s time to tell Jeffrey. You’re the one who gave them permission to come here, so I’m not cleaning up after your mess.” With that, Chad started the van and pulled out onto the road, knowing that this conversation wasn’t going to go over very well. Jeffrey was probably going to scream and yell, and Michael was probably going to cry and Chad was going to be in the middle of it as usual. In the end though, Jeffrey would side with Michael because he wanted him to stop crying and then he’d sulk around for a few days before he was back to his normal self. It was like a vicious cycle.

When they got to the high school, they knocked on the door and waited for Jeffrey to answer. Once they had the supplies placed in their usual spots, they turned their attention to the man who had been acting like their father since this thing began. Michael’s heart almost broke at the look on his face – he probably thought that they’d lost Jared on the run. In a minute, as soon as he found out what had actually happened, he was going to be mad instead of sad, Michael was sure.

“Where’s Jared?” Jeffrey asked, breaking the silence that was between the three of them. He had a feeling he already knew, but he wanted to confirm his suspicion. The kid had been good and if he was gone, Jeffrey was going to have to take a moment to himself. He didn’t really get emotionally attached to people when he could help it, but Jared had broken down his walls and he’d liked the kid. And there was no way in Hell he was going to let Chad and Michael see him cry – no way.

Michael took a deep breath when Jeffrey asked where Jared was, licking his lips in an attempt to stall as he thought about what he was going to say. “Well, while we were in the city, we had to stop in the gun store because we were running low on ammunition. And…there were these other survivors there. They helped us get out of a bind – biters were all over the place and they helped us clear it out enough that we could escape.” Allowing Jeffrey a moment for that to sink in, Michael then continued, “I guess Jared knew this guy in the group from high school and he offered to let them come stay with us. Chad tried to tell him no, but I agreed to let them join our group. So…Jared is with them now so he can lead them back here once they’ve got all of their gear and their members.”

And now he waited. Michael knew there was going to be an argument and he was ready for it. After all, he saved the ammunition that Jared was going to leave with those people if he didn’t get his way because he knew he might need it to win this fight. Michael wasn’t an idiot – he knew that after their bad experience the last time, Jeffrey didn’t like to allow others into their group. But he was going to have to make an exception this time. Jared was one of their own and Michael hadn’t been willing to let him go.

A deep frown came to Jeffrey’s lips as he processed all of this new information. “You told them to come here?” he asked, his face getting just a shade redder when Michael nodded. “Why the hell would you do that? Why didn’t you listen to Chad?!” He needed to calm down. If he got too angry, he’d really blow up and then Michael would probably start crying again. Honestly, Jeffrey thought that it was just a tactic he used to get his way, but he couldn’t help but feel bad when the tears started flowing. He hadn’t made Michael cry in a long while and he didn’t want to break that record any time soon. Still what had Michael been thinking?!

Although he hoped he wasn’t going to have to use them, Michael was gearing up for the waterworks. If all else failed, crying always seemed to work. “You weren’t there, Jeffrey!” he yelled, frowning at him. “Jared was going to leave with them if we didn’t let them join our group. I did what I had to in order to keep Jared with us! And I’m sure if you had been there, you would have done the same thing. So don’t yell at me!” Taking a moment to compose himself, Michael added, “Besides, Jared said that he’d vouch for the guys, so they should be decent people.”

Well, when he put it like that, Jeffrey really couldn’t argue. If he had been there and Jared threated to leave with another group of people, he probably would have offered to let the other group join them. But still, they didn’t know these people. And the last time they let strangers into their lives, they’d lost family members. Poor Chad was never the same after that. And yeah, Jared could vouch for these people, but that didn’t mean Jeffrey had to trust them. Or even like them for that matter.

But he had to accept the fact that others were coming, so he was going to start there. After all, Jared could be back at any time with them and he needed to at least act civilized otherwise Jared was going to get mad. From the way Michael had explained the scene in the city, Jared really cared about these people. So until Jeffrey was given a reason not to trust them, he was going to try his hardest to give them all the benefit of the doubt.

Again, Jeffrey took a deep breath, calming himself down once more. “Well, I guess we can at least give them a chance,” he agreed with a nod, smiling softly at the way Michael visibly relaxed. Until they all got back though, Jeffrey wanted something that would take his mind off things – that usually meant trolling the grounds for stray biters and taking care of any issues. “I’m going to head out and check the perimeter to make sure everything is secure. Why don’t you guys check the school and make sure? Stay together though, just in case you run into any problems. If we’re getting more people here, we’re going to need all the space we can get.”

With that, Jeffrey headed out of the school, Chad locking the door behind him before he and Michael started searching the school. They hadn’t ever been in the whole school before, so they weren’t sure if there was anything in here. All they knew was that they hadn’t been mauled by biters in the middle of the night, so they assumed that there was no breach. Apparently, they were going to find out now.

Of course, Chad wasn’t sure how he felt about Jeffrey going outside alone while no one was watching the door. If he happened to run into any trouble, he wouldn’t be able to get into the school. But that was just like Jeffrey – he always wanted to run off on his own and be the damn hero. One of these days, it was going to get him killed. Chad was going to make sure he did everything in his power to make sure that it didn’t happen any time soon, though. As they always made clear to each other, they were all they had left – it was just the three of them – it didn’t matter if they were getting a whole new group. And Chad was going to make sure his family stayed alive, even if he died trying.

After about an hour, they were all back in the main hallway waiting for Jared and the others to get there. The school was secure and Jeffrey took out a few biters who were getting too close to the four walls that they were calling home now. As far as anyone in that room was concerned, the high school was the safest place to be right now. Of course, they would all feel safer when Jared got back unharmed, but they were trying not to think about it. After all, Jared had mentioned that he’d vouch for these people, so they weren’t too worried that something bad had happened to him. They were just a little bit worried.

**~~**

When they arrived at the camp, Jared almost couldn’t believe it. He didn’t understand how people could have survived under these conditions. There was no roof over anyone’s head and there were no walls to protect anyone. All they had was an RV that Jensen explained they used when they took watch. Honestly, Jared felt a little bad for them. In all of the time that this thing had started, he’d had some kind of roof over his head – his parents’ house and then the high school. He couldn’t imagine what it would be like to live out in the open like this and constantly have to worry about getting torn to shreds when you went to bed.

“This is where you’ve been staying?” Jared asked Jensen as he climbed out of the van, a small frown on his lips when Jensen simply nodded. Looking around the camp, Jared could see that everyone was busying themselves with chores except a few women who were just sitting around doing nothing. There weren’t too many people here either – maybe fifteen tops – so that meant there would definitely be space for everyone at the high school. “How many survivors are here?”

At Jared’s question, a small frown formed on Jensen’s lips. “Thirteen now, including us,” he answered, grabbing a bag from the back seat and slinging it over his shoulder. “There used to be more – thirty at one point. But the walkers came into camp, attacked us. We lost a lot of good people that night.” He watched as the others grabbed the rest of the bags and started moving towards the RV to put them in a safe place for the move. After all, if they kept the supplies in the RV’s cabinets and closets, there would be more space for people in the smaller cars. Most people didn’t like riding around in the RV, anyway.

Before Jared could move any further into the camp, Jensen gripped his arm, holding him in his spot. “Why are you helping us, Jared?” he asked, needing to know the answer. Surely, after all of these years and the way Jensen had treated him that day, Jared couldn’t possibly have feelings for him. This had to be about something else – survival maybe. It was true that no one could live out there on their own now. Hell, it was hard enough to live out there in a group!

Again, Jared frowned at Jensen’s question, licking his lips as he searched Jensen’s face. Was he serious? Did he really not know why Jared was helping him?! Surely, he had to remember how Jared worshipped him when they were in high school. Even before they had sex, Jared had spent countless class periods staring at Jensen and memorizing his face – counting each freckle on his cheeks and nose. There was no way Jensen could have missed that! “You know why,” he assured Jensen, tugging his arm out of Jensen’s grip and moving towards the camp. He wanted to be the one to explain that they all were invited back to the high school, after all. Jensen had at least given him permission to do that.

For a moment, Jensen just stood frozen to his spot. If Jared was saying what Jensen thought he was saying, this was going to be interesting. Jared still had feelings for Jensen and if that was the case, nothing good could come of this. He and Danneel were already on edge with their relationship and Jared coming into the picture was just going to shave away at the thin ice they were walking on. Not to mention the fact that Jensen still wasn’t ready to admit that he wanted Jared the same way – that was just a whole different dilemma that Jensen didn’t want to deal with right now.

Luckily, he managed to get his shit straight before Jared reached the heart of the camp, Jensen figuring that it would be easier on the group to see and accept Jared if he was standing there with him. After all, a lot of these people didn’t know Jared so Jensen had no idea how they were going to react to him being here. 

As soon as Jared stepped past the first tent and actually into the camp, he felt a little out of place. He didn’t know these people and they didn’t know him, so he felt like everyone was staring at him as though he had just landed here from Mars. Jared felt like an intruder and he didn’t like it. Of course, when Jensen stepped up beside him, he felt a little better, the group shifting their attention to their leader instead of the newbie. 

Still, Jared had to speak up because he’d asked Jensen if he could be the one to explain it in the car. He wanted to know these people – he wanted to be friends with these people and maybe even build a life with them in a world that made living seem so damn impossible. Just because they were surrounded by the dead didn’t mean they had to act like them – he wanted to go on with his life the way it had been before all this happened. And in order to do that, he needed other people.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself down, Jared started, “Uh…h-hi everyone. My name is Jared. My group found Jensen and the gang at a gun shop while we were in Dallas, and we helped each other get out of a bad situation. Now, I don’t know if anyone here is familiar with the high school on the other side of the city, but we have a group there and we would love to take you all in. We’re offering food, water, shelter, essential supplies for anyone who wants them. Jensen has already agreed to come back with me, but whether you want to or not is up to you. There’s plenty of room for everyone.”

Once his speech was complete, Jared felt a lot better. He hadn’t liked talking in public when he was little and he didn’t like it now. But he was offering help to everyone and he felt that they needed to hear it from him. It was only fair that they got to listen to him explain everything before they made their decision because they were going to be staying in close quarters with him.

“Jared?” a voice suddenly breathed from the other side of the camp. “Oh my God, is it really you?” Suddenly, Sandy emerged from the throng of people, her hand quickly moving to cover her mouth as she felt tears well up in her eyes. Without thinking, Sandy ran towards Jared, throwing her arms around his neck and holding on tight. “I thought you were gone,” she whispered softly, her tears clear in her voice. “I tried to get to your house, but there were walkers everywhere. The SWAT teams stopped me before I even got on your street. They told me there was no one left!”

As soon as he had Sandy in his arms, Jared wrapped her up tightly in a hug, his lips pressing against her shoulder in greeting. He couldn’t believe that he’d seen two people from his past that he cared for so deeply in the span of two hours. Pulling back, he smiled widely at her, quickly brushing away her tears with the pads of his thumbs. “Hey, don’t cry,” he whispered, shaking his head. “I’m here. I’m fine. I’ve been fine.” Again, he pulled her back to him, hugging her tightly once more – he just wasn’t ready to let her go yet. “I’m so happy you’re alive. I was so worried about you!”

It felt good to know that Sandy and Jared were reunited because she had been with Jensen’s group. The whole thing made Jensen feel like kind of a hero in Jared’s eyes and that was right where he wanted to be. That feeling of jealousy he’d gotten when Chad was interacting with Jared on the roof earlier that day had really done a number on him – Jensen wanted to be the only one who Jared felt those kind of things for. And if he was with Chad, then Jensen was going to make it his mission to show Jared just what he was missing. He wasn’t going to stop until Jared admitted that he wanted him still – until he said the actual words because Jensen wasn’t going to guess. This vague shit was for teenagers in high school, and he and Jared had outgrown that phase.

The sound of Danneel’s agreement that she wanted to go to the high school brought Jensen back to reality. Oh yeah, he had a girlfriend. It wasn’t fair for him to be jealous that Jared might have a boyfriend when he had a living, breathing – bitching – girlfriend standing a few feet away from them. But that could be fixed. She could easily be dumped. Well, not easily, but it could be done if Jensen wasn’t such a coward. Without Danneel, he felt like everyone knew that he had feelings for a man, and that just wasn’t something he was willing to accept. If he was a bigger man, he would have let Jared go completely, but he just couldn’t. He wanted Jared in ways that he couldn’t have him without feeling guilty and sick about – it was just something he’d have to deal with on his own.

Once Danneel agreed to the high school, everyone else spoke up. Not surprisingly, everyone was all for going to a place that had four walls and a roof to keep the walkers out. Jensen couldn’t blame them. He had done the same thing. “All right everyone, listen up!” he called out, smiling at Sandy when she opted to stand next to Jared instead of joining the rest of the group. “Pack up everything that you need and put as much of it as you can into the closets and cabinets in the RV. Anything that doesn’t fit in there can be loaded up into the trunks of the smaller cars. We want to get this done fast so we can be out of here by nightfall, so help each other. Let’s move!”

A wide smile came to Danneel’s lips as she moved to stand next to Jensen, linking her fingers together with his. Leaning in, she crushed her lips against Jensen’s, moaning as her free hand moved up to card through Jensen’s hair. “I’m glad you came back in one piece, sweetie,” she whispered when she pulled back. “I was so worried about you.” Tugging on Jensen’s hand, Danneel instructed, “Come on – help me clear out our tent so we can get the hell out of here.”

Jensen didn’t miss the way Danneel’s eyes darted over to Jared when she insisted that he help her with their tent, or the way she emphasized the fact that it belonged to the two of them. For a moment, he thought that he saw hurt flashing across Jared’s face, but it was gone before he could get a good read on it. Obviously, having Jared around was going to be harder than he thought. Danneel was jealous of him because she thought that Jared had been trying to steal him away from her in high school. And while that had been true, Jensen hadn’t openly told her that. As far as she knew, he’d never had sex with Jared and they had just been friends. 

But they’d been more than that – for a few hours at least. Still, he wasn’t going to openly share that. So he let Danneel have her fun, frowning softly at Jared before he allowed Danneel to drag him back to their tent. Really, it was the only thing he could do at the moment. She had been pissed off at him earlier for going into town and he had a feeling that if he refused to help her, she would throw a fit. And there was no doubt in his mind that she would ride in the car with him on the way to the high school, so the last thing he wanted was to make her angry. That would have made for a miserable car ride.

Seeing Jensen walking away with Danneel to a tent that they obviously shared had a pang of hurt shooting through Jared’s chest. Really, he had no idea why he thought that he and Jensen could be anything more than friends, but he’d held out hope for all these years. The fact that Jensen was still with Danneel Harris kind of snuffed out that hope.

Sandy could see just how disappointed Jared was that Danneel and Jensen were still an item. After all of these years, she would have thought that Jared had gotten over Jensen, but apparently not. Smiling softly at Jared, she teased, “You still like him don’t you?” She figured that if she continued on in the manner they’d used when they were together before all of this shit, it would make everything feel normal. And Sandy needed some normalcy in her life. “Jeez Jared, it’s been ten years and you still haven’t moved on? You’ve got it bad, Jay.”

He chuckled softly when Sandy teased him about his crush on Jensen. Yeah, he would have loved for it to go away over the ten years that they’d been apart, but it just hadn’t. “Laugh it up,” Jared teased right back, giving his head a small shake. “I’m a pathetic man who is in love with someone who will never love me back and I’ve been pining over him for the last ten years. Unfortunately, I don’t see the feelings going away anytime soon, so why bother trying to fight it?”

Of course, Sandy didn’t even know the worst part. He’d had Jensen the way he wanted him for a few hours and then he had to give him back. And he had to keep the best time of his life thus far a secret from everyone around him. Had he been allowed to tell Sandy that he and Jensen had been together for a few hours, maybe he wouldn’t have felt like such a dipshit for admitting that those feelings were still there. After all, it was a fact that people always felt strongly for their first love. Jensen had been that for Jared. And although he’d tried to date in college, nothing had compared to his time with Jensen.

Another small smile came to Sandy’s lips when Jared returned her teasing banter. “Well, don’t worry about it, Jared. I mean, now that the world has broken out into this diseased thing, there aren’t many possibilities for people to find companionship. I’m sure looking the way you look, someone will eventually come up to you and proposition you.” Gently shoving Jared’s shoulder, she added, “All you have to do is wait patiently. And maybe walk around without your shirt on a few times a week.”

Laughter bubbled up from Jared’s chest and he couldn’t help it as he allowed it to spill over. “I’m not going to put my body on display for perverts,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “Besides, I only want to be with Jensen. And being around him all of the time is only going to make it that much worse. My life really sucks right now. But it’s worth it so I know that he’s alive and safe.” Looking around the camp, Jared shook his head once more. “I don’t understand how you guys managed to stay alive out here like this. It’s so open – anything can stumble in when you guys aren’t watching.”

“We’re always watching,” Sandy assured Jared. “There’s always someone on the RV keeping track of the camp and making sure we’re safe. Jensen makes sure of it.” Hanging her head for a moment, Sandy continued, “I mean, yeah, you’re right. It’s not the safest place in the world, but is there really such a thing anymore. Even with walls and a roof, are you still completely safe? The walkers can still get in. Sure, it’s harder for them to get in, but it can happen.” Shaking her head, she turned her attention to Jared before she whispered, “Nothing’s safe anymore, Jay.”

The weight of her statement held true – Jared knew that even with their walls there was a chance that geeks could get through. It wasn’t as likely as it was out in the open like this, but he knew there was a chance the biters could attack and they could lose everything – they could lose their lives. But in a big group like this, it would be easier to fend them off. And people would feel much safer. “I know,” he whispered softly as they reached Sandy’s tent. “But the walls are at least safer than this place. And the numbers won’t hurt, either.”

She hated seeing Jared looking as though he were miserable. There had always been a smile on his face when she saw him, so this frown just seemed out of place. Sandy just wanted to hug Jared until he couldn’t help but smile, but she didn’t see that helping too much at this point. Maybe when they were all back at the high school and Jared wasn’t so worried about her and Jensen things would get better. At least that’s what she was hoping, anyway. “So, are you going to just stand there and look pretty, or are you going to help me clear out my tent?” she asked, smiling at Jared when he merely chuckled before moving further into the tent and helping her toss clothing into her duffel bag.

Meanwhile, Jensen was getting an earful from Danneel as she cleared out her clothes and tossed them into a bag. “So Jared Padalecki survived the apocalypse,” she stated the obvious, tossing a black thong into the bag as she shot a smirk at Jensen. “Who would have thought that he of all people would stay alive when walkers invaded the Earth? Honestly, I thought he would have been one of the first to go. I mean, do you remember him from high school, Jen? He was always hanging out with Sandy and he was just…weird.”

A deep frown came to Jensen’s lips when Danneel started to make fun of Jared. “He wasn’t bad in high school,” Jensen assured her with a shake of his head. “If you remember correctly, he and I were pretty close friends for a while. Until you dumped me because you thought he was taking time away from our relationship. Then we stopped talking for the most part.” 

Sometimes, Jensen hated Danneel. She was selfish and she looked down on people – including Jensen, he was sure. The only reason she was with him was because he had been popular in high school. And now, Jensen was convinced that she only stayed with him because the people in this group looked to him for answers – considered him their leader. And when you were with the leader, you were considered an important person as well. Not that Jensen really cared. As long as he was with Danneel, he didn’t have to worry about people thinking that he had feelings for Jared. That was definitely going to come in handy now that he and Jared were going to be sharing the same roof.

Now it was Danneel’s turn to frown as she glared at Jensen. “What’s up your ass?” she asked, her tone signaling that she was now in one of her moods. “You can’t really tell me that you’re still mad because we broke up over that project. It was ten years ago, Jensen! You really need to get over it.” Tossing the last of her clothing into the bag, she added, “He was a freshman, anyway. There was absolutely no reason to associate with him. And it’s not my fault you always chose to hang out with him over me.”

When Danneel turned her back towards him and headed out of the tent, Jensen made a gun with his fingers and fired at her back. One of these days she was going to drive him so damn insane that he’d just shoot her. Of course, he could use the excuse that she had been infected now and no one would think anything of it. But he knew he wouldn’t. Jensen didn’t have it in him to kill someone unless they truly deserved it. Like those men who had shot at Christian and landed his best friend in the hospital for six weeks – those men had deserved to die at Jensen’s hands the way they had.

Sighing, Jensen grabbed the duffel bag that had all of his weapons in it before he leaned down and grabbed the bag with their clothes, slinging that over his shoulder as well. With that, he left the tent, tossing his bags into the trunk of his van. Everyone else seemed to be finished packing already, so there was no room in the RV for anything else. Besides, Jensen felt better having his stuff in the van with him just in case something happened and they all had to be separated for some reason. He felt a lot better knowing that he had his things with him in case of an emergency.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Jared moving towards the RV, Jensen glancing around the camp for Danneel. She wasn’t anywhere around, so he figured he’d be safe if he spoke with Jared for a little while. After all, the conversation in their tent led Jensen to believe that if he talked to Jared, Danneel was going to make his life a living Hell. But he had to let Jared know that he was driving out first so Jared had to be in his van with him. Of course, Jensen already knew where the high school was because he’d gone there for four years, but Jared didn’t have to know that he remembered how to get there. Jensen really just wanted to catch up with Jared and see what he had been doing these past ten years.

Quickly, Jensen jogged over to the RV, grabbing the bag out of Jared’s hands and slinging it over his shoulder. “Here, let me help you,” he smiled, taking the bag that Sandy was holding as well. “Uh…Jared, I need you to ride with me since I’m heading out first. The others can follow us in the RV and Christian’s car. You’re the one who knows where the school is, so you have to give me directions.”

Jared smiled at Jensen when he took the bags from him and Sandy, feeling a slight blush come to his cheeks. God, he felt like he was right back in high school every time Jensen was around him, and he hated it. Why couldn’t he just sit down and have a real conversation with Jensen like a normal – adult – human being?! “Thank you,” he all but whispered when Jensen took the bags, licking his lips as he listened to Jensen’s speech about why he had to ride with him.

Although it had been ten years, Jared knew there was no way Jensen didn’t remember where the school was. He was a smart guy and he’d always been great with directions. After all, he found Jared’s house when he needed to come over to work on their project – no one could ever find Jared’s house without help, but Jensen had. So there was another reason why he wanted Jared in that van with him, and Jared was going to allow himself to believe that his fantasy of Jensen wanting to be with him was real for now. He wasn’t hurting anyone by doing it – well, other than himself, anyway.

Still, there was no way he was going to deny the chance to ride with Jensen. “Uh, yeah, all right,” he answered, climbing off the RV steps and shooting Sandy a small smile. “I’ll see you when we get to the high school,” he promised his friend before he followed Jensen to the van. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Danneel standing by the front passenger door with her hands on her hips talking to a brunette woman, however. God, Jared didn’t want to ride with Danneel Harris, of all people. It was no secret that they didn’t get along. 

If he was being honest, Jared would have rather gouged his eyes out with a wooden spoon than sit in a van with Danneel for five seconds, let alone the half hour or more it was going to take to get to the high school. Then again, he wasn’t about to give up the opportunity of riding with Jensen, so he was going to suck it up. He made his way to the door that she was standing next to and cleared his throat to get her attention. As soon as she turned, Jared motioned to the door as he explained, “I need to get in. Can you get out of the way so I don’t hit you?”

“You’re nuts if you think that you’re sitting up front,” Danneel spat, chuckling softly as she turned her attention briefly to her friend before looking back at Jared. “Jensen is my boyfriend and he wants me up front. You can sit in the back with Genevieve.”

Just as Danneel was about to open the door and climb in, Jensen pushed against it with his palm, keeping the door closed. “Jared has to sit up front,” Jensen explained. “He needs to give me directions on how to get to the high school in the safest and fastest way. You’re just going to have to sit in the back with Genevieve this time, Dani.”

The look he got from Danneel was actually quite frightening. Although she didn’t say anything to protest his decision, that glare promised that he would pay for this later. But right now he had to focus on getting them to the high school before nightfall, so he pushed that thought out of his head and crossed to the other side of the van, getting into the driver’s seat. Once everyone was loaded into their three cars – Jensen, Danneel, Jared, and Genevieve in the van, Christian and Steve in Christian’s truck, and everyone else in the RV – Jensen started toward the high school, making sure to ask Jared where he was going so he could keep up appearances for Danneel.

It took about forty-five minutes, but they arrived at the high school before nightfall, luckily. They’d have enough time to carry all of their bags and gear in before the sun went down, which was great in Jensen’s opinion. He didn’t like his group to be exposed during the night – walkers tended to get a little more active when the hot Texas sun wasn’t beating down on them, which made room for more attacks and more deaths.

As everyone filed into the high school, Jensen and Jared hung back, watching as the survivors disappeared into their new home. “Thank you for doing this for us,” Jensen thanked, smiling softly at Jared. “We really appreciate what you guys are doing here. And we’ll earn our keep. You guys can put us to work if you need to. I mean…it’s not like we don’t all have our special talents. Well, maybe not Genevieve, but I’m sure she can be taught how to be useful here.”

A small chuckle escaped Jared when Jensen made the remark about Genevieve. He’d been listening to her and Danneel chatting in the van on the way here and she didn’t sound like she really did anything to keep the group alive. All she could do was gossip about other members of the group and squee about how hot some of the male members were. But Jared didn’t think that would be an issue. As long as they avoided her as much as they could, the guys wouldn’t care what she did he was sure. “You’re welcome,” he smiled back, dimples denting his cheeks just a bit with the action.

There was still one thing that was bothering the hell out of Jensen though. Jared had never given him a real answer as to why he’d offered to help them. Jensen wanted to know the real reason. He had his theory, but he wanted to know if he was right. “So, you never answered my question from before,” he explained, licking his lips when Jared just looked at him confusedly. “About why you did this for us. So…why are you doing this, Jared?”

Oh yeah, that question. Jared had answered it in his own way, but if Jensen wanted to hear him say the words out loud, then he supposed he would. After all, everyone was enough out of earshot that they wouldn’t overhear what was being said between the two of them. Leaning just a bit closer so he didn’t have to speak loudly, Jared explained, “I didn’t do it for them. I did it for you. We’re not supposed to talk about it – I know that – but that night we had together meant something to me. Even if it didn’t mean anything to you.”

With that, Jared gave Jensen a small, sad smile before he walked towards the high school, leaving Jensen alone to think about what he had just said.


	5. Chapter Five

Now that there were more than three people living here, arrangements needed to be made as to where people were going to sleep. It wasn’t too big of an issue since there were two floors and an extra wing leading to the science area on the second floor. Of course, Jared wasn’t sure how he felt about people going into the science wing because it was so far away. If there were to be an attack on the school, it would take too long for people to get assembled. There was a chance they’d lose people if they were spread out like that.

Of course, ultimately it was going to be left up to Jeffrey as to how he wanted people to be dispersed. After all, this was his group now and he was probably the most qualified since he had military experience. Maybe if he slipped Jeffrey a little clue that he wanted to bunk with Jensen, Jeffrey could make that happen. Danneel could stay with her friend Genevieve – they seemed pretty close. And it wasn’t like she had to be bunked up with Jensen, right? If they weren’t in the same place, she wasn’t going to die of loneliness or anything. 

“Hello everyone,” Jeffrey finally greeted before he cleared his throat. “I’m sure by now a lot of you are ready to get to your rooms and just rest after the day you’ve all had. But first things first, we have to get you all to a comfortable room. Now, there’s enough space here that you could all have your own little corners, but I wouldn’t recommend that. If something were to happen here, it’s best if we’re all pretty close to each other so we all know what’s going on.

“So, with that being said, I figure if you have someone that you wouldn’t mind bunking with, come let me know and we’ll go from there. The first three rooms on the first floor have already been spoken for, so if you wanted one of them, I’d suggest you decide to bunk with either myself, Chad, Mike, or Jared. I’ll be over in the first room when you all decide who you want to sleep next to.”

Although Jared knew that it was a pipe dream, he kind of wished that Jensen would ask Jeffrey to put them in the same room. After all, Jared had a great view of the field out back from his window. Sure, there were geeks out there – one or two every day – but it was still a spectacular view. But Jared knew that Jensen was going to bunk with Danneel. Probably upstairs in the science wing where no one would be able to bother them. Danneel was the kind of girl who liked to keep her toys all to herself. She was not big on sharing. And as far as Jared was concerned, that was all Jensen is to her – a little toy she liked to play with. 

If Jensen wasn’t so afraid of letting people know that he was interested in Jared, he could have had someone who loved him unconditionally. Jared would do anything for Jensen – surely he had to know that. He’d been in love with Jensen for ten years! There shouldn’t even have been a question as to what Jared would do for Jensen. Now, Danneel on the other hand, Jared wouldn’t have been surprised if she shoved Jensen between herself and a geek just to save her own skin. That was just the kind of person she was as far as Jared was concerned.

Sighing, Jared watched as Christian walked into Jeffrey’s room. The assignments were going to start and Jared didn’t want to be here when they did. If Jensen wanted to bunk with him, he’d tell Jeffrey and then Jeffrey would direct him towards Jared’s room. Otherwise, there was nothing more for Jared to do here, so he went to his room to just get away. It had been a long day and he was tired. Maybe he could catch some sleep before it was time for him to take watch.

It wasn’t long before all of the arrangements were made. Katie and Alona were sharing a room on the second floor as well as Jim and Samantha. Genevieve asked if she could bunk with Chad and Mike allowed Tom to stay with him since they were high school buddies. Misha and Vicky decided that they wanted to be on the first floor, so they got the fourth room over. Also on the second floor, Christian and Steve chose a room with a good view of the woods behind the school. Sandy decided that she wanted to bunk with Jared, so she got him to help her move her stuff into the room and get settled in – he didn’t mind that she bothered him while he was trying to sleep though. 

Finally, Danneel insisted that she and Jensen get a room in the science wing so they were away from everyone. She was kind of a recluse – at least that was the excuse she gave Jeffrey. But Jared knew why she wanted to be so far away. She wanted to have Jensen all to herself and if they were isolated in the science wing, she was going to get her wish. God, Jared hated her so much! Yet, at the same time, he would have done anything to be in her shoes right now as he watched her hang all over Jensen as they walked to their new room together.

“You’re doing it again,” Sandy informed him as she stepped into his field of vision. “You’ve got that teenage pining look on your face.” Frowning, she wrapped her arm around his shoulder and turned them so their backs were facing Jensen and Danneel. “Seriously Jay, you need to get over it. Jensen and you – it’s probably not going to happen. He’s about as straight as they come. And he and Danneel are practically married already. I mean, if this whole walker thing hadn’t have happened, I’m sure they would have definitely tied the knot by now.”

That’s what Sandy thought. Again, Jared wished so much that he could just shoot her down and tell her that he and Jensen had sex ten years ago. But he made a promise and he wasn’t going to break it. So, he chuckled instead, moving towards their room as he explained, “Yeah, you’re right. I just…need to get over him. Move on to someone who’s not taken.” Smiling at his friend, he joked, “Should be easy enough.”

Although Sandy knew that Jared was lying through his teeth and there was probably no chance of him moving on, she let it slide. “Yeah, it should be fine. And I’ll help you,” she offered, plopping onto her cot that was beside Jared’s. “I’ll point out all of the potentially available guys who would want to be with you and you can take your pick. I have excellent radar for that sort of thing, you know.” Again, Sandy smiled, bumping shoulders with Jared as a small chuckle escaped his lips.

Since Jensen was taking the first watch, Jared figured that he’d take the second, which meant it was the night shift for him tonight. “Hey Sandy, I’m gonna try to get some sleep. I have the night watch tonight, so I want to be prepared for anything, you know.” Slowly, Jared lowered himself onto his cot, pulling the thin blanket up over his shoulder. “You don’t have to stay here. Go mingle – get used to the layout of the school or something. Just in case we need to get out of here quick, I mean. At least you’ll be familiar with it.”

A small smile came to Sandy’s lips as she lied down on her own cot, her body turned so that she was facing Jared. “I went to school here, too,” she reminded him with another smile. “Besides, I’m kind of tired anyway. I might as well catch some sleep. Who knows if I’ll be able to get any when you’re not in here with me.” Although Sandy liked to pretend that she was tough and none of this bothered her when she was around Jared, the truth was, she was scared – really scared. After seeing half of her group torn to shreds by walkers, she knew that no one was safe in this world. And most nights she just lied awake in her tent and tried not to break down thinking that she was going to be next on the menu.

Over the years, Jared had learned not to question Sandy’s actions. Besides, it wasn’t his place to tell her not to sleep when she wanted to. After all, he had no idea what she had gone through over the last ten months and he didn’t really want to ask either. If he asked, she would expect him to talk about what he’d gone through and he didn’t want to. Not yet anyway – not even with his best friend. It was all still too fresh in his mind and he would rather just keep it to himself for the time being.

Not five minutes after Sandy fell asleep, Jared followed her, the events of the last few days finally catching up with him. Unfortunately, his sleep was anything but peaceful – memories of his family being torn away from him plagued his dreams, making it almost impossible for Jared to sleep comfortably. He jolted awake about two hours later, a fine sheen of sweat covering his body as his chest rose and fell with his irregular pants. Apparently a few hours of peace was too much to ask for tonight.

Realizing that there was no way he was going to be able to get any actual sleep, Jared pushed himself off his cot and pulled on his sneakers. He might as well just relieve Jensen of his shift so he could get some sleep. After all, Jensen had Danneel to cuddle up to when – or if – he had nightmares. Surely, Jensen could get more sleep than Jared could, so it was kind of pointless to make him stand watch and miss out on potential precious hours of sleep. And no, he wasn’t walking out there just to possibly keep watch with Jensen so they could be close and possibly talk – not at all.

**~~**

Christian sighed in pleasure as he rolled to his own side of the cot, tugging the blankets up to his waist so he didn’t feel so exposed. “You…are amazing,” he complimented his lover, slinging one arm over the pillow Steve was using to rest his head on. “Have I ever told you that before? Because it’s true, you know?”

A small chuckle escaped Steve’s lips as he scooted closer to Christian, his head moving to rest over Christian’s heart. “Yeah, you may have mentioned it once or twice,” he assured him. “But it never gets old.” Glancing down the cot towards the closed door, Steve smirked at it before he turned his attention back to Christian. “Do you think anyone heard us? I mean, you were making some serious happy noises.”

“I was not!” Christian argued with a wide smile of his own, poking Steve in the ribs playfully. “You were the one making all the noise. Practically begging for my cock the whole damn time like some kind of slut.”

Again, Steve grinned, nipping at Christian’s pebbled nipple. “Mmm…only for you, Chris,” he smiled right back. Another deep moan escaped his lips when Christian dipped his head and captured his lips, tongue teasing along the seam to beg for entrance, which he was immediately given. When the kiss finally broke, Steve couldn’t help but keep that same smile plastered on his lips.

For him, this was Heaven. Sure, there were walkers surrounding them and their lives were dangerous and spent fighting for survival, but that was only half of it. Times like this when he was lying in Christian’s arms while they both enjoyed the afterglow of their love making was what mattered. As long as they were together – and healthy – Steve didn’t care about anything else. 

Still, he wished that they could tell people about their relationship. But he knew that there was a chance people wouldn’t accept them. And Christian wasn’t ready to let everyone know their personal business. But Steve wanted to at least confide in Jensen – their best friend of all people would understand and accept them for who they really were. He had to. Of course, Steve hadn’t run his plan by Christian yet, but he found that his lover was a lot more agreeable right after sex. So there was no time like the present.

His fingers gently moved over Christian’s side as Christian’s fingers carded through his hair, Steve licking his lips as he looked up at the man he loved. “So, I was thinking that maybe we should tell Jensen about us,” he suggested, pressing his index finger against Christian’s lips when he tried to speak. “Just hear me out, okay? He’s our best friend. And we have to tell someone. I’m tired of keeping this just between us. So, there’s no better option than Jensen, right? He’ll understand. And he won’t care. Jensen loves you like his own flesh and blood, you know that. It’ll be fine. So…can we tell him?”

Although Christian didn’t really want anyone to know about them, at the same time, he didn’t want to disappoint Steve. And it wasn’t even that he was worried about what other people would think if they knew. It was just that he didn’t want to spoil what they had. With just the two of them knowing, it was pure – adventurous and almost naughty. But if others knew about it, then it took the adventure out of trying to keep it a secret. 

Of course, Christian knew that he was overthinking this too much, and it was only Jensen. But Jensen would lead to more people down the road, and Christian didn’t want to lose their spark yet. When people knew about a relationship and it was common knowledge, it just wasn’t fun anymore. The passion somehow got sucked out of it. But, again, it was only Jensen who Steve wanted to tell. And he had a point – Jensen was his best friend and he knew that he wouldn’t judge them. Hell, he’d probably be happy that Christian was able to find love in this screwed up world that they lived in now.

After thinking it through, Christian finally gave in. “All right, we can tell Jensen. But only Jensen,” he answered. “Everyone doesn’t need to know that you and I are together. They’ll just suck all of the fun out of our relationship.”

Really, Steve didn’t understand why Christian thought that people knowing about them was going to suck all of the passion out of their relationship, but they’d had that conversation before. He was just happy that they were finally going to be able to tell another person that they were together. “Okay Chris,” Steve agreed with a small nod. “Only Jensen.” Another smile came to his lips as he pushed himself into a semi-seated position and crushed his lips against Christian’s once more, rolling them so that he was lying on top of his lover. “Do you think you can handle another round?”

A playful growl escaped Christian as he lifted his hips to shift their weight, rolling Steve off him so their positions were switched. “Do you even have to ask? You know I’m always up for the challenge.” Leaning in, he brushed their lips together before nipping at Steve’s neck and earlobe. “The question is, can you handle another round?” Not waiting for an answer, Christian kissed Steve passionately, grinding their lower halves together as their moans were swallowed up in their kisses.

**~~**

The idea of being around Jensen to talk and the actual act were two different things. Now that Jared was out of his room and staring down the long hallway that would lead him to Jensen, he was having second thoughts. What if Jensen wasn’t alone down there? Maybe he and Danneel were there having some alone time. That was the last thing Jared wanted to walk in on. It would just solidify everything – Jared preferred his own reality where he and Jensen were going to get together some day. Seeing him and Danneel together would shatter that.

It would be so easy to just walk down there and run into Jensen, but Jared was a giant chicken. There were still three hours before it was actually his turn to be on watch, and he couldn’t sleep. This was quite the predicament that he found himself in here. Dammit, he was a twenty five year old man! He should be able to walk up to another person and have a damn conversation! Even if that other person was a hot guy who he’d had a crush on since high school and who he’d had sex with once although they weren’t supposed to talk about it. He should be able to talk to Jensen like an adult.

Gathering all of his courage, Jared slowly made his way down the hall, turning the corner and freezing when he caught sight of Jensen sitting by the window. God, he was even better looking than Jared remembered. Sure, he’d been looking at him a lot over the last few hours, but he hadn’t actually had time to study him like he did now. Age was doing Jensen all kinds of favors. He was like a fine wine as far as Jared was concerned – he just got better with age. Jared had thought he was a God before, but now he was something more. Words couldn’t describe how attracted he was to Jensen.

So it was no wonder Jared couldn’t talk to him. Jensen was way out of his league. Even if he was interested in men – which he wasn’t – Jensen wouldn’t want anything to do with Jared. Well, unless he was drunk, apparently. But they weren’t supposed to talk about that. Unfortunately, Jared couldn’t forget about it, either. More than anything, he wished that he could just erase that night from his mind so he didn’t remember what it felt like to have Jensen for a few hours, but it never worked. Something always reminded him of being with Jensen and he’d be right back in his room that night, reliving all of the wonderful moments he had with Jensen in living color. Jared hated that.

Just as he was about to turn and go back to his room, he heard his name being called from plush, deliciously pink lips. 

“Jared, is that you?” Jensen asked, pushing himself off the windowsill and putting his gun back in its holster. A small smile came to his lips when Jared stopped and turned towards him, the cutest look on his face. Jared always looked like he was embarrassed when he was around Jensen and he just thought it was so adorable. But he shouldn’t be thinking like that. He had to get over whatever this thing was he had for Jared because it was never going to happen again. It couldn’t. Even if Jensen wanted it to – maybe. God, he didn’t even know what he wanted. And until he knew, he didn’t want to drag Jared into anything and make him as confused as Jensen obviously was. “What are you doing here? Your shift doesn’t start for a few hours.”

Jensen having a smile on his face when he realized it was Jared was a good sign. Of course, Jared wasn’t going to read too much into it because he didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he couldn’t help but to return the smile, dimples denting his cheeks. “Y-Yeah, I know,” he assured Jensen, shoving his hands into his pockets as he moved closer. “I just…couldn’t sleep. Figured maybe you’d want to head off and get some shut eye early. I can take over.”

Yeah, going back to the room he shared with Danneel was the last thing Jensen wanted to do. He only offered to take the first shift because he knew that it would get him away from her. Jensen cared about Danneel – really, he did. It was just that lately he felt like they were drifting apart. Almost everything she did now annoyed the hell out of him. More often than not, he found himself trying to get away from her when he should be wanting to spend more time with her. That was a clear sign their relationship had gone downhill. But he wasn’t ready to break up with her just yet. He needed that normalcy – the familiarity – in his life right now.

So when Jared offered to take over, Jensen merely shook his head, taking his seat on the windowsill once more. “Nah, it’s okay,” he answered. “I’m good. But…I mean, if you want to stay here and watch with me, I won’t stop you.” 

No, Jensen was not secretly wishing that Jared decided to stay. That would have been wrong because he was trying to put distance between the two of them until he figured out his feelings. He’d only offered to let Jared stay because he was being polite. And when Jared agreed to stay and keep him company, Jensen wasn’t smiling because he was happy about it. Again, it was just a polite gesture.

This was a bad idea. Jared knew that much. He wasn’t an idiot. Being around Jensen more than was absolutely necessary was only going to feed into his crush, which was the exact opposite of what he wanted. Yet, when Jensen offered to let him stay, Jared didn’t even hesitate to take the invitation. He gladly took a seat on the floor, back resting against the wall, and got comfortable. That was his first mistake.

His second mistake was allowing Jensen to get him talking. At first, it was just random things – how he liked it here, how happy he was to see Sandy alive. But then Jensen started asking him more personal questions like how he’d ended up here. “I was with my family in our house when this all started,” Jared explained, smiling softly at the memory of his family. “We were doing just fine – fighting off geeks and making sure we were prepared for an attack. Then it happened one day.” Breathing out a small, humorless laugh, Jared continued, “I guess we weren’t as prepared as we thought.”

Listening to Jared’s story made Jensen think about his family. He knew that his parents were dead, but he had no idea where his brother or sister were. The last he heard, they’d been vacationing with his grandparents in Florida. Since he had no way of contacting them, he had no idea if Florida had been hit by the virus or not, so he was pretty much in the dark on their well-being. It was obvious that Jared was hurting thinking about his family, and Jensen wanted to help. “Do you want to talk about it?” he asked, soft bottle green eyes focused on Jared alone.

Slowly, Jared shook his head, licking his lips as he sniffled slightly. “No,” he answered softly, running his hand down his face. “I can’t. M’sorry.” He could tell Jensen the general things about what they were doing, but he couldn’t go into detail about it. That was asking too much. The whole ordeal was too fresh and he was still hurting – he needed time to grieve.

“Hey,” Jensen whispered, pushing himself away from the windowsill without thinking and moving closer to Jared. Down on one knee in front of Jared, Jensen cupped his chin, gently lifting Jared’s head so their eyes met. “Don’t be sorry. You don’t have to tell me anything that you don’t want to. But…I want you to know that I’m here if you ever feel like you need to talk to someone.” Of course, Jensen knew that he was probably the last person on Earth that Jared wanted to open up to, but he felt like he had to put it out there because it was true. If Jared needed someone, Jensen would be there.

In that moment, Jared knew that Jensen was being sincere. And he also knew that there was something between them – and it was strong. Jensen may not want to believe it, but Jared could feel it. And he knew that Jensen could feel it too. Sure, Jensen could ignore it, but for how long? Sooner or later, he would have to acknowledge that there was this thing – this heat – between them and there was no escaping it. Maybe that was why they were both here; still alive and thrown together like this. Maybe it was fate sending them a message.

Of course, that could have just been Jared’s fantasy brain working on overdrive. It seemed to be happening a lot lately. Still, that knowledge didn’t stop Jared from scooting a bit closer, his eyes jumping from Jensen’s own eyes down to his plush, kissable lips and back. There was no way Jensen didn’t know what Jared was thinking right now, and if he wanted to stop him, he had plenty of time. Jared felt like he was moving in slow motion as he leaned in closer, ready to capture those lips that were featured in every wet dream he’d ever had.

Just as their lips touched – barely brushing against one another – the sound of high heeled shoes could be heard coming down the hall, causing them both to pull away from each other. It was as though Jared had been in some sort of trance and those damn shoes had snapped him out of it. Words couldn’t describe how much he hated that sound now. His perfect moment that he was sharing with Jensen was shattered now because of that sound, and he wasn’t going to forget that anytime soon. 

A few moments later, Danneel came around the corner, hands on her hips as she focused on her boyfriend. “Jensen, are you coming to bed sometime tonight?” she asked, her red lips protruding out into a pout. “You said that your shift was over at midnight. Well, it’s five past twelve and you’re still out here.” Her attention briefly shifted to Jared – long enough to shoot him the world’s scariest glare before she was looking back at Jensen. “I’m tired and I can’t sleep without you, Jenny. Come to bed with me.”

To say that Danneel had the art of pouting down to the letter would have been an understatement. She was perfect at it. Jared was actually jealous that he had never been able to master that skill. It must have been the way she used her bright red lips to really lure Jensen in. Jared would never have that because if there was one thing he wouldn’t do, it was wear make-up. He may be gay, but he wasn’t a woman, for crying out loud.

Five minutes after his shift was supposed to end and she was already looking for him. Damn, this woman had perfect timing. Well, Jensen supposed that he should be thankful Danneel came down here when she did because he had just been about to make a huge mistake. And if she hadn’t interrupted him, he wouldn’t have stopped Jared from coming closer and closing that gap between them completely. And honestly, Jensen wasn’t sure if he would have stopped with a kiss. So yeah, this was better.

Still, that didn’t mean he wanted to go back to that room Danneel insisted upon getting and be annoyed all night. He just knew that Danneel was going to complain about how much time he was spending with Jared, and Jensen just didn’t want to hear it tonight. He was well aware of how much time he was spending with Jared – he didn’t need her to spell it out for him. And if it were up to him, he would have stayed for Jared’s whole shift, but Danneel wanted to go to bed. Of course, Jensen knew she could sleep without him, but he didn’t call her out on the bluff. He wasn’t getting involved in whatever catfight she had going on in her head between herself and Jared. 

Instead, Jensen pushed himself off the floor, giving Jared a small, apologetic smile. “Yeah, Danni, I’m coming,” he assured her, slowly making his way to the end of the hall where she was standing. As soon as he got there, she wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her lips against his, making a show of the kiss for Jared’s sake, Jensen was sure. And he let her – allowing Danneel to have her way was easier than arguing and dealing with her when she was mad. 

When she finally pulled away, Danneel all but dragged Jensen away from Jared, chattering on about how she couldn’t wait to get him back to their room so she could show him how much she missed him. Honestly, Jensen wasn’t in the mood for her to show him anything. He’d been awake now for over twenty four hours and he just wanted to sleep. But he couldn’t tell Danneel that while Jared was still within earshot. He had to make it look like they were a happy couple – it was easier that way. Maybe then Jared would forget about him and move on. That would make it easier for Jensen to forget and move on, too.

Sure enough, as soon as Danneel had him in their room, she started to make nice on her suggestions. Roughly, she shoved him against the wall, pushing her hands under his shirt to feel his muscles beneath as her lips descended over his once more. “Mmm…Jen…want you to take me right now,” she breathed, fingers digging into his skin, leaving little red marks where her fingernails pressed against him. “It’s been…way too long.”

Obviously, Danneel was really into this, but Jensen just wasn’t feeling the same way. He was tired and irritated by what happened with Jared. If there was one thing in this world that he hated more than walkers, it was being so confused that he didn’t even know who he was anymore. And he had reached that point now. Jensen had no idea what he wanted at the moment, but he knew it wasn’t this. At least not with her, anyway.

He gently gripped Danneel’s upper arms, pushing her hands out from under his shirt and putting some distance between the two of them. “Not now, Danni,” he protested, shaking his head as he released her and walked further into the room. “I’m just…I’m not in the mood right now. I’m tired. I just wanna get some sleep now that I don’t have to keep watch anymore.” 

A deep frown came to Danneel’s lips when Jensen shot her down. “You don’t want to have sex with me?” she asked, almost as though she couldn’t believe that this was happening. “Seriously?! You’re turning down sex so you can sleep?” 

Jensen should have known that he wasn’t going to get away with this without there being some sort of discussion. “Yes,” he answered simply, pulling his shirt over his head and tossing it into the corner where they were keeping their dirty laundry. “I’m tired, Danni. Maybe you don’t remember, but I went on a run with Misha and the gang to Dallas, so I haven’t been able to sleep since the night before we left.”

Again, Danneel frowned at Jensen, only this time it was angrier. “Yeah Jensen, I remember that you left me to go on some stupid mission.” Walking around Jensen, Danneel started stripping out of her clothes as well, tossing them onto the pile as she went. “And I also remember that you brought Jared fucking Padalecki back with you. From what I understood, you were just supposed to bring back supplies. Instead, you brought back a person from high school who has the biggest damn crush on you! And now, after hanging out with him for God only knows how long, you don’t wanna have sex with me anymore.” Shrugging, she concluded, “I mean, it just makes me wonder if maybe you’re getting your kicks from someone else.”

Great, they were really going to get into this right now. Even when Jensen tried not to make Danneel mad, it never worked – honestly, he didn’t know why he even tried. “You know I’m not cheating on you,” he assured her, rolling his eyes when he knew she wasn’t looking. “We’ve had this argument before. And every time, it’s the same. You accuse me of cheating, we argue about it for a few hours, and then you’re fine. Can we just skip it this time, please? Like I said, I’m beat. I just wanna sleep.”

It was true. She and Jensen had this argument all of the time. Any time Danneel felt threatened, this was her plan of attack. And Jensen did look really tired, so she figured she could let it slide this time. After all, it wasn’t like Jensen talked to any of the other women in the group. Well, except Samantha, and she wasn’t threatened by her at all. Other than that, Jensen really only spoke to men, and there was no way he was cheating on her with any of them – even if she was convinced that Jared was trying to steal him away. She knew that Jensen would never go for him, so again, she didn’t actually feel threatened.

Sighing, Danneel allowed herself to relax, moving towards Jensen once more and pulling him into an embrace. “I’m sorry, Jenny,” she apologized, pressing her lips to the center of his chest. “I just don’t like being away from you for so long. And then you’re not in the mood when I am and it just puts all of these crazy thoughts into my head.” Taking Jensen’s hand, Danneel led him to their cot, slowly lying down and motioning for Jensen to follow. When he did, she quickly snuggled up next to him, pressing another kiss to his lips. “Maybe tomorrow when you’re rested we can have a little fun.” 

With that, Danneel blew out the lantern and rested her head on Jensen’s chest, falling asleep pretty quickly once the light was out. Unfortunately, Jensen couldn’t follow her into that slumber. His mind was on a certain person who was taking watch right now with bright hazel eyes and dimples that melted his heart. It didn’t matter that he was bone tired and he had everything he should need right here next to him. In high school, this would have been enough – Jared ruined that, albeit unintentionally. 

When Jensen finally fell asleep, it was anything but peaceful. His dreams were of a young teenage boy who wore his heart on his sleeve and had the biggest crush on Jensen. The boy viewed him as something he wasn’t – perfect – and Jensen liked the way it made him feel. The dreams were great in the beginning, but they soon turned into nightmares as Jensen’s mind recalled how he treated that young boy the next morning. His heart shattered when that broken face came into view.

Jensen jolted awake when Jared’s broken face came into his mind, a deep frown marring his features. Danneel moaned in protest and scooted away from him, but Jensen didn’t pay her any mind. He had his own issues to deal with – he couldn’t worry about always making sure Danneel was okay. Sure, he did his best when she was awake, but she wouldn’t know the difference when she was sleeping. 

More than anything, Jensen wanted to go to Jared, but he knew that if Danneel woke up and he wasn’t here, she was going to have a hissy fit. He was torn between two worlds, and he didn’t know which way he needed to go. Obviously, he needed to talk to someone about this. And Christian was going to be that someone. After all, he was like his brother, so Jensen knew that he could trust him with information as well as to lead him down the right path.

Mind made up, Jensen slowly lowered himself back down on the cot, licking his lips as he glanced at Danneel. She was beautiful – there was no denying that. But somewhere along the way, she just stopped being everything that Jensen wanted – everything that he thought he needed. Yeah, he was definitely going to have to talk to Christian about this _quickly_.


	6. Chapter Six

Mornings were pretty uneventful when it came to biters. Sure, there were a few walking around here and there, but mostly they stayed in the woods and just roamed around until something else caught their attention. For some reason, they seemed to walk out of the woods and get closer to the school at night, and by morning they were all back in the woods. Still, Jeffrey didn’t like to take any chances, so he always did a quick sweep before breakfast.

Today, Jim had offered to go with him, so he wasn’t alone. They didn’t really speak – Jeffrey wasn’t a big talker and the noise would attract biters. Fortunately, there were only a couple biters out and about – nothing Jim and Jeffrey couldn’t handle. Because there weren’t too many, they used their knives to kill them so they didn’t attract any other biters that were lurking in the woods. Guns were only used when there were too many around to even try to take them out quietly. 

They managed to make it the whole way around the school without incident. Four walkers were killed in the process. Once they made their lap, they did another quick sweep before they headed back into the school. Both men were hungry and as soon as they walked into their safe haven, the smell of bacon and eggs filled their nostrils. People could say whatever they wanted about school food, but when the end of the world hit and it was all that was left to eat, it tasted like something you could order at a five star restaurant. 

In the high school, everyone had their own specific jobs. This group was like a well-oiled machine and they had only been together for a few days. Samantha, Alona, Katie, and Sandy took it upon themselves to be the “women of the house” and made food for everyone as well as did the laundry and made sure everything was tidy – or, as tidy as it could be in the rundown school. Danneel and Genevieve helped, but not very often. They would rather sit in a corner and gossip about the people in the group rather than lift a finger to help. Danneel did hers and Jensen’s laundry, but that was about it.

Right now, while the other women were slaving over a hot stove making sure everyone had food on their plates, Danneel and Genevieve were sitting around and doing what they did best – gossiping. “And I hate the way he stares at Jen,” Danneel complained, rolling her eyes as she played with the biscuit on her plate. “I mean, every time Jensen’s within view, Jared practically sits there drooling over him. Seriously, he needs to get a life and stop daydreaming about my man.”

Genevieve chuckled softly at the way Danneel was acting. “Seriously Danneel, do you really think he’s gay?” she asked, her eyes sliding over to where Sandy and Jared were teasing each other and laughing. “I mean, he’s just so damn sexy. It would be a shame if all that was wasted because he likes dick.”

“I’m positive that he’s gay,” Danneel assured her friend, shooting a glare towards Jared. “We went to high school together. He was totally out and proud, or whatever. And he stared at Jensen like that then too. I mean seriously, you would think that he would get a hint. Jensen and I have been together since high school – I’m not going anywhere any time soon. He just needs to get that through his head and move on. I’m sure there are other gay men he can hit on. Like…that bald guy over there looks like he would swing that way.”

Again, Genevieve laughed at Danneel’s suggestion. “Well, maybe he’s only gay because he hasn’t met the right woman to convert him. Didn’t you say he was dating Sandy in high school?” When Danneel nodded, Genevieve all but snorted. “Well, that’s enough to make anyone think they want to go for the opposite sex.” Her eyes sparkled with mischief as she suggested, “Maybe I should go talk to him. See if he wants to take me for a spin. I’d gladly roll around the sack with him any day of the week.”

Now it was Danneel’s turn to laugh. She loved her friend and all, but there was no way Jared was going to magically become straight because she wanted to take him for a ride. It just didn’t work like that. However, before she could say anything in reply, Sandy walked over and interrupted their conversation by putting a plate in front of Genevieve. 

Although Sandy didn’t particularly care for Genevieve and Danneel, she figured that she might as well be nice to them since they were a part of this group too. “Samantha wanted me to tell you guys that the laundry’s going to be getting done today,” Sandy explained, looking between Danneel and Genevieve. “Maybe the two of you could help us with that? I mean, since there are more people here, that means more laundry. The more hands we have the better.”

Scoffing out a dry laugh, Genevieve argued, “Does it look like I do laundry?” Showing Sandy her freshly manicured nails, she continued, “I just polished my nails and I don’t want to mess them up doing other people’s laundry. I mean, it’s not like I can just stop at the nearest nail salon and get them done. No, I have to do them by myself and when I actually have time to do that, I like to keep them nice for as long as I can.”

It took everything in her not to snap back at Genevieve. But Sandy played it cool, just plastering a smile on her lips as she countered, “Well, don’t you have laundry that needs done? Or do you not change your clothing?”

Now, Genevieve glared at Sandy. If she wanted a fight, Genevieve would give it to her. “Of course I change my clothes. I just have so many that I don’t have to worry about washing them because I don’t wear the same thing twice. Why do you think I have twice as many bags as you do? Because I have nice things, that’s why.”

Before Sandy could retaliate, Danneel cut in, “I’ll be down after breakfast. Jensen and I have laundry that needs to be cleaned, so I’ll do that.” She didn’t really have a problem with Sandy, honestly. Sure, Sandy hung out with Jared, but when she was with Jared, that meant that Jared wasn’t gawking at Jensen, so that was a good thing as far as Danneel was concerned. “Just have someone come grab me when you guys are heading down.”

Sandy smiled softly at Danneel before she gave a curt nod, quickly turning to head back to the stove before she said something to Genevieve that might get her even more riled up. Instead, she just continued to cook until everyone was given a plate of food. She then moved to the other side of the cafeteria and took a seat across from Jared. “I can’t stand Genevieve!” she hissed softly, rolling her eyes at the other woman’s stupidity. “I mean, why is she even in the group?! It’s not like she contributes. Unless you count being the group _slut_ contributing! Maybe her goal is to repopulate the Earth with as many men as she can find who will put up with her long enough to have an orgasm!”

A small smirk came to Jared’s lips as he took a drink from his carton of orange juice. “So, what did she do to make you so mad?” he asked, unable to hide the grin that was still on his lips. He loved it when Sandy got annoyed. For some reason, it just made him laugh. She was usually a pretty laid back person, but when someone got under her skin, all Hell broke loose and the claws came out. “Or wait, let me guess – she refused to do the laundry when you asked.”

“Among other things,” Sandy replied in an annoyed tone. “I don’t even want to talk about it. Let’s talk about something else to get my mind off of this. Like…how did watch go last night? See anything interesting?”

Just Jensen. Of course, Jared wasn’t going to mention that he had spent an awfully good amount of time sitting on the floor and just chatting with Jensen. And he sure as hell wasn’t going to mention that they’d brushed their lips together before Danneel came and ruined his perfect fantasy. Nope, he wasn’t going to tell Sandy any of that because he knew Jensen didn’t want anyone to know. And as much as he wanted to confide in someone, he knew that he couldn’t. This thing he and Jensen had – whatever it was – it was between the two of them and no one else needed to know about it.

Instead, Jared merely shrugged and shook his head. “Nah, nothing really. Just a few geeks moving around the trees. Nothing that we need to worry about.” He didn’t want to talk about this. The subject needed to be changed. Pushing his eggs around on his plate, Jared asked, “So, how did you sleep last night? Better than me, I hope.”

**~~**

Jensen just wasn’t feeling it today. It was only nine o’clock in the morning and he just didn’t like the way this day was going. Of course, when Christian came to sit with him, his mood perked up a bit, but not much. And he could tell that Christian wasn’t going to let him get away with being a sour puss today because Christian had this look on his face like he had just gotten all of the candy from a candy store for half off, or something. “What are you grinning about?” he asked his friend, smiling at Steve when he took a seat next to Christian. “Am I missing something here?”

The smile on Steve’s face widened as he turned his attention to Christian before looking back at Jensen. “Well, Christian and I were talking last night, and we wanted to tell you something,” he explained, pausing for a moment as he waited for that to sink in. “We’re dating!” He made sure to keep his voice down and fought the urge to hold Christian’s hand because he didn’t want to draw attention to them. 

To say that he was shocked would have been an understatement. Sure, there were times when Jensen had walked in on Christian and Steve acting weird, but Jensen hadn’t really allowed himself to entertain the idea of them being in a relationship. Well, maybe once or twice it had crossed his mind, but he hadn’t allowed himself to really dwell on it. “Wait, what?” he asked, smiling at Christian and then at Steve.

It wasn’t that Jensen was homophobic – he was actually happy for his friends that they’d found someone who made them happy in a world with so much sorrow. He just couldn’t wrap his head around himself being in a relationship with another guy. After all, he had been the star quarterback in high school and throughout college. Star football players weren’t interested in the same sex romantically. Except Jensen was. And he had no idea what to do about it. 

Still sporting the smile, though now looking slightly shy about it, Christian explained, “Yeah, Steve and I have been dating since our first year of college. We just didn’t want to tell anyone until the moment was right, but then this whole apocalypse thing happened, and the time never presented itself. We wanted you to be the first one to know. And…we’re still keeping it kind of quiet, so we’d appreciate it if you kept it to yourself.”

Quickly, Jensen nodded, clapping his friends on the shoulders when he stood. He would have given them a hug, but that would have drawn too much attention to them and this was obviously a private conversation meant only for their ears. “I’m really happy for you guys,” he assured them, squeezing their shoulders in congratulations. “And don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.” Grabbing up his plate, Jensen explained, “But I’m going crazy in here. I have to take a walk, or something. I’ll see you guys later, okay?”

Once he got the nods from his friends, Jensen threw the paper plate that held his food into the garbage can and headed over to where Jim was sitting so he could ask for his gun. After all, now that they were all in a large group like this, everyone thought that it would be safer if no one was armed unless they needed to be. Therefore, Jim kept the guns in a safe place where no one could get to them unless they asked.

When Jensen asked for his gun, it peaked Jeffrey’s interest. “Jensen, you’re planning on going out alone?” he asked, not liking that idea at all. Even Jeffrey hadn’t gone out alone this morning. With this many people in a group, there was a higher risk of the biters finding them because there was obviously more noise being made. It couldn’t be helped – more people produced more noise, even if they were trying to be quiet. “Why don’t you take someone with you? It’s not really safe being out there alone. And it’s not the way we do things around here anymore.”

Although Jensen had been hoping for a quiet walk alone so he could deal with all of the thoughts running through his head, he agreed. “Yeah, I’ll grab someone to come with me,” he assured Jeffrey as he moved away from the table. He had no idea who he was going to take, but he’d find someone. Christian was always a good choice, but he didn’t want to take him away from Steve – they were a couple, and couples should be able to share breakfast together. Danneel and Genevieve were definitely out of the question – he didn’t need that headache. 

So, that left him with only a few people left to choose from. Jim and Samantha were still having breakfast, he didn’t really care for Tom all that much, and he didn’t trust Alona out in the field. Misha and Vicky didn’t really get to spend a whole lot of time together as it was, so he wasn’t going to ask them. Katie was always with Alona, and he didn’t know Sandy enough to ask her. Therefore, he was left with either Mike, Chad, or Jared.

In all honesty, he didn’t want to take Mike because he didn’t know how well he could handle himself if they were to run into trouble. And he didn’t necessarily like Chad either. So, that left Jared, who was probably the worst choice since he needed to make up his mind about his feelings for Jared. That was the whole point of the walk! But he was all Jensen had left, and he kind of did want to hang out with him. Last night had been a fun time, so he didn’t think this would be any different. 

Mind made up, Jensen headed over to Jared’s table, smiling softly at Sandy when she spotted him. “Hey, sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation,” he apologized, eyes falling on Jared when he finally noticed Jensen was standing there. “Jared, I was thinking about heading out and just getting some air. Jeffrey didn’t want me to go alone, so I was wondering…do you maybe wanna come with me?”

This was unexpected. Jared didn’t think that Jensen wanted to be alone with him unless it was late at night or in the thick of things, so he really didn’t know what was going on. All he knew was that he was finished with his breakfast and he would love to hang out with Jensen for a little while away from everyone else. “Um…y-yeah, I can do that,” he assured Jensen, smiling at Sandy as he stood to follow Jensen out of the cafeteria. He didn’t miss the glare that he received from Danneel, but at this point, he could care less. After all, he was the one walking out of the high school with Jensen – not Danneel.

Once they both had their guns and made sure their knives were still in their possession, Jensen and Jared headed out of the school and into the woods behind the school. They had to be on alert because there were geeks who liked to frequent this area, so the talking was kept to a minimum. Fortunately, there wasn’t too much activity from the walkers today. It seemed as though they were all deeper into the woods. And the ones that weren’t had already been taken care of by Jim and Jeffrey this morning.

After about an hour of near silence, Jensen finally spoke. “Thanks for coming out with me,” he smiled, glancing up at the sky. “I just had to get out of there. It was getting kinda stuffy, you know?” Jensen wasn’t the kind of person to be confined in a building. He liked the outdoors. When he had been living outside at the camp, he was fine. Now, staying in that high school, it was just becoming suffocating. Especially since Danneel always wanted to be around him no matter what he was doing. He was glad to finally just break away for a little while.

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Jared assured him, smiling softly when Jensen turned his attention from the sky back to him. “Being stuck in the high school for a long time can really mess with your mind. Every now and then it’s good to just get out and suck in the fresh air. Believe me, I’ve done it before. Usually, I’m on my own, but this is okay too, I guess.” Hell, it was better, though Jared didn’t voice that last part.

Smirking, Jensen teased, “You guess? Am I really that bad to be around?” His laughter couldn’t be contained as it bubbled up out of him, causing Jared to smile one of his brilliant one hundred watt smiles equipped with dimples and everything. Damn, Jensen really wished Jared would do that more often.

But he was getting off topic. This was about clearing his head, not confusing himself more with everything that was going on. His head was already too full of ideas and things that he wished he would have done differently – he didn’t need anything else in there. Besides, he was pretty sure that Jared wasn’t even on the market anymore. As far as he knew, Jared was with Chad. The man had really acted like they were together with how protective he was of Jared, anyway. 

Then again, that night he’d been with Jared on watch could prove otherwise. After all, Jared had almost kissed him! Surely, Jared wouldn’t have almost kissed him if he had been with Chad. Well, that wasn’t necessarily true either – Jensen had returned the almost kiss and he was with Danneel. Maybe Jared was just as bad as Jensen was and they were both going to get caught cheating. 

Now that he had that thought process in his mind, Jensen wanted to know for sure. He knew that he didn’t really have a right to ask, but if he was subtle about it, there was a chance that Jared wouldn’t know that he was fishing for information. Jensen was just going to brush it off like a normal, everyday conversation and see how it went. “So, you and Chad?” he started, shoving his hands into his pockets. “You guys seem pretty close.”

Had Jared’s mind not been in the clouds again and dreaming of fairytale love stories, he may have picked up on the alternate motive behind Jensen’s question. Instead, he smiled softly and nodded. “Yeah, Chad and I are pretty close. He saved my life when my house got overrun. I was in Dallas running around with geeks everywhere – I thought I was a goner. But he set off a car alarm and managed to get me out of there. And then he brought me to the high school and I’ve been here ever since.”

That wasn’t the answer Jensen had been hoping for. Of course, he hid his disappointment as he nodded, pretending like that didn’t just make him dislike Chad even more than he already did. “That was really nice of him. Exposing himself to help you out of a bind. It’s good to know there are still good people in the world.” When Jared merely nodded and seemed like he was ready to drop that conversation, Jensen asked, “So, how long after he brought you here did you two start dating?”

Shocked by the question, Jared stopped in his tracks. Surely, Jensen wasn’t asking him about his personal life. Only, he thought that Chad was his boyfriend. Jared could have sworn he saw a little bit of jealousy on Jensen’s features, but he had to have been imagining that. “Oh, we’re not dating!” he assured Jensen with a small smile as he shook his head. “No, definitely not. Chad’s like…a big brother to me. And he’s about as straight as they come, trust me.”

It was actually quite humorous that Jensen thought he was dating Chad. And Jared kind of wanted to play on that fact. After all, there were some things sometimes that Jensen did that made Jared think there might be a chance for them to get together. And then other times, he thought it would be impossible because of Danneel and the fact that Jensen wasn’t into men. But he wanted to kind of test the waters here now that he had Jensen all to himself. “Would you have been mad if Chad and I were dating? I mean, it’s kind of a weird topic of discussion, don’t you think?”

So much for keeping the conversation subtle. Jensen needed to think fast if he wanted to avoid getting into a discussion about his feelings, or something. Scoffing, he shook his head, continuing to walk forward. “What? Why would I be mad? I mean, it’s not like I have a right to be mad if you were to have a boyfriend. I have Danneel, so I wouldn’t care.” Shrugging, Jensen continued, “I just…he doesn’t really seem like the kind of guys that you go for.”

He acted like he actually knew anything about Jared and what his taste was. That kind of pissed Jared off a little bit. “How would you know what I go for?” he asked, following after Jensen, his tone a bit harsher than he’d intended. “It’s not like you know anything about my personal life. You never showed any interest. Well, unless you were drunk, anyway.”

Somehow, Jensen must have offended Jared because now he seemed like he was mad at him, or something. “Wow, really Jared?” Jensen asked, feeling his own anger start to rise. “We’re really going to go there? Why is it that every time we’re around each other, all you want to do is talk about _that_?! I thought we made it pretty clear that we were supposed to forget about it and move on with our lives!”

“I’m sorry that I’m not like you, Jensen!” Jared shot back. “Maybe you can just forget about something like that, but I can’t! That night meant something to me, even if it didn’t mean anything to you. And I can’t just forget that!” Scoffing out a laugh, Jared continued, “Hell, I couldn’t even tell my best friend the _real_ reason you and I stopped talking when she asked! And she did ask, Jensen – all of the time!”

Angrily, Jensen argued, “I can’t help it that your friends are nosey! What happened was between me and you. No one else needs to know about it. _Ever_!” Although he tried to forget about it, he couldn’t. And he’d tried so many times to just shove Jared and that night out of his mind. Nothing he ever did worked, and he hated it. 

Jared could feel his anger rising when Jensen reminded him that no one needed to know about what they’d done that night. “Oh, I’m well aware that you want to keep it to yourself, Jensen!” Jared hissed. “I’ve kept the damn secret for ten years! It’s ruined my life on plenty of occasions, so don’t talk to me like I’m going to spew it out in the middle of a crowded room, or something.”

Ruined his life? Certainly, that couldn’t mean that Jared hadn’t been with anyone since Jensen. Because if that was the case, then Jensen felt like a total asshole. But he’d just been a kid back then. He hadn’t known what else to do. Jared thought that he was going to be with him because of one drunken mistake, and Jensen hadn’t known what else to do at that point. He’d wanted to be with Danneel, and Jared had just been there to support him. Things had gone too far, and that was all it was. “Are you trying to tell me that you haven’t been with anyone since then?” he finally asked, needing to know the answer.

Again, Jared scoffed, walking deeper into the woods. “Don’t flatter yourself, Jensen. I’ve been with plenty of people since then. Not that it mattered since I wasn’t able to stay with them.” Angrily, he turned on Jensen before he continued, “You ruined that for me! Ever since I first saw you, I had these feelings for you. It was more than a teenage crush – I _worshiped_ you. More than anything, I wanted to be with you. I actually envied Danneel because she had you and I didn’t. But then, for just a few hours, I had you and it was perfect. So every time I was with someone else, I would always compare them to you, and they could never stand up to you, Jensen. There was always some flaw that I couldn’t get over, so I broke up with them. And I really liked some of them too. But you ruined me.”

Before Jensen could get out a word in his own defense, Jared cut him off. “And I want to hate you for it. God, I wish so badly that I could hate you for it! But I can’t! For some _insane_ reason that I can’t even fathom, I still have these damn feelings for you! And I know, Jensen, I know it will never be anything because you’re with Danneel and you guys are happy and if this apocalypse hadn’t happened, she’d already have the ring on her finger, but that doesn’t seem to stop the way I feel!

“It’s like there’s this…force that just draws me to you, and I can’t fight it,” he continued. Now, he moved closer to Jensen, pointing his index finger his way as he assured him, “And you feel it too. You can deny it all you want, but I saw it in your eyes last night. You were going to kiss me, and if Danneel hadn’t showed up, you would have.” Seeing Jensen shaking his head, Jared chuckled, giving a slight nod. “Say it. If you weren’t going to kiss me last night, say it and I’ll drop it. We’ll pretend like this whole conversation never happened and I’ll just ignore you, or whatever you want. But you have to say it. Tell me there’s no chance that you and I are going to be anything more, and I’ll leave you alone.”

More than anything, Jensen wanted to say it. He wanted to tell Jared that there was no way he would ever be with him and just let it drop. Stop all of this right here and now before anyone else got hurt. But he couldn’t. Because he didn’t want Jared to leave him alone, and as much as he hated to admit it, there was something between them. Jensen felt it last night and he had been about to kiss Jared. Danneel had been the only thing preventing him from doing so. Right now though, she wasn’t here to stop him.

Without thinking, Jensen reached forward, hand fisting in Jared’s shirt as he pulled him closer, their lips crushing together as soon as Jared was close enough. He knew this was crazy – Jensen was doing the exact opposite of what he should be doing right now, but he couldn’t help it. There was something about Jared that made him throw all of his beliefs out the window and just act spontaneously – and those spontaneous decisions usually got him in trouble. And although he had a feeling this wouldn’t end well, it was what he wanted right now. 

A shocked moan escaped Jared’s lips when Jensen kissed him. Honestly, Jared didn’t think his little speech would have worked in his favor. He had been expecting Jensen to tell him to go pound salt and stop talking to him. Instead, Jared was being kissed like he’d never been kissed before and he was enjoying every minute of it. Right now, nothing else mattered – not Danneel, not the group, not the fact that there could be geeks in these woods. The only thing he was focused on was Jensen and that they were kissing. 

When the kiss broke, both men were panting harshly, their breaths mingling since they were still standing so close. Jared didn’t know what to say because he was afraid that if he broke the silence and said the wrong thing, he would ruin what little progress had been made here. Luckily for him, he didn’t have to speak because Jensen had already beat him to it.

“I felt it, Jared,” Jensen breathed, making sure to keep eye contact with Jared. “I didn’t know what I was feeling, but I know I felt something. And I don’t really know what I’m doing here, or what I want. But I do know that I don’t want you to stop talking to me, or to leave me alone. Right now, I just know that I want you.” With that, Jensen kissed Jared once more, the kiss more passionate than the last as Jensen walked Jared backwards until his back hit a nearby tree.

Jared didn’t protest as Jensen shoved him roughly against the tree, the bark digging into his back even through his shirt. Jensen was grinding against him like a fucking cat in heat and Jared wanted more, so he wasn’t going to risk complaining about the rough treatment. Instead, he gripped Jensen’s short cropped hair in one hand and parted his lips for Jensen’s seeking tongue, another moan escaping him only to be swallowed up in the kiss.

Pulling back, Jensen yanked Jared’s T-shirt off his body before all but ripping Jared’s pants open. This was about passion and sharing the heat of the moment – there was no time for niceties here. He quickly pushed Jared’s pants and boxers down to mid-thigh before he gripped Jared’s hips and forced him to turn towards the tree, making Jared have to catch himself with his hands so he didn’t face plant into the unforgiving bark. Jensen didn’t even bother fully undressing himself, merely unzipping his pants and pulling his cock out, figuring that was enough to get the job done.

The last thing someone thought about when the world was in chaos was lube. Now, Jensen didn’t know much about sex with another man, but he knew that lube was definitely an essential thing. It wasn’t like Jared’s body was going to naturally lubricate itself like a woman’s did. Unfortunately, Jensen was fresh out of lube, but he _really_ wanted to finish what they’d started. So, he used the next best thing – spit. 

He made sure to coat his dick with a lot of saliva, spitting into his hand and stroking himself multiple times before he finally lined himself up with Jared’s entrance. Jensen kept his movements slow as he sank into Jared’s body, knowing that he hadn’t taken the time to properly stretch Jared, so there was a risk of tearing him if he just rammed into him like he wanted to. It felt like torture, slowly sliding in inch by inch, but he eventually had himself buried to the hilt, his movements stopping completely until he received confirmation from Jared that this wasn’t too much and he was ready for him to move.

Not using lubricant was definitely new to Jared. And the lack of preparation was even newer. Since his first sexual experience with Jensen hadn’t turned out the way he wanted it to, Jared had made a vow to himself never to allow someone to dominate him the way he’d allowed Jensen that night. So, he hadn’t been on the receiving end in quite a while, and now, after so long, it fucking hurt! Luckily, Jensen was moving slowly, otherwise, Jared didn’t think he would have been able to take it.

Hissing in slight pain when Jensen finally bottomed out against him, Jared clenched his jaw and just waited for his body to get used to the invasion. It took a little longer than he would have liked, but eventually, when he wiggled his hips back against Jensen, it didn’t hurt as much anymore. “O-Okay Jen, m’good,” he mumbled, giving his head a small nod. “Move…you-you can move now.”

Jensen didn’t need to be told twice. Still keeping his movements slow, Jensen pulled out a little before sliding back in. He continued that rocking motion, sliding out a little further each time until he was pulling out almost all the way before slamming back into Jared. His fingers were leaving bruises on Jared’s hips from how tightly he was holding onto him, he was sure, but that wasn’t enough to make Jensen stop. After all, Jared wasn’t complaining about it, and he seemed to be enjoying himself, so why spoil the moment?

It felt amazing. This was everything Jared remembered. Of course, he would have preferred it if they were facing each other, but he’d deal with this position too. At least he got to _feel_ Jensen moving inside him – he thought he’d never feel this way again. Sure, sex with other people had been pretty decent, but nothing compared to this. Jared was sure that it had something to do with his feelings for Jensen, but he wasn’t going to bring that up again.

Pressure and heat were coiling in Jared’s belly – he wasn’t going to last much longer with the way Jensen’s cock was nailing his prostate with each push. He just needed one thing to give him that final shove over the edge. Reaching back with one hand, Jared gripped Jensen’s hand and pulled it from his hip, bringing it in front of his body. “J-Jen…touch me. M’close…please?” he begged, maneuvering Jensen’s hand so that it was almost touching his rock hard erection.

This was perfect. Jared was so damn tight and his inner muscles were squeezing Jensen’s dick just right. There was no way he was going to last long. He was too caught up in his own feelings and sensations that he didn’t realize what Jared was asking until his fingertips brushed over Jared’s cock head, jolting him out of his own mind. Quickly, he pulled his hand out of Jared’s, giving his head a small shake. “I-I can’t,” he argued, gripping Jared’s hip once more. “I don’t know how.”

Although Jared knew that was a bogus excuse, he didn’t call Jensen out on it. There was another reason Jensen didn’t want to jerk him off, and honestly, Jared wasn’t sure he even wanted to know. Instead, he wrapped his own hand around himself and gave himself that extra push that he needed to come undone. A deep groan of pleasure escaped his lips as his orgasm hit him, his warm, sticky fluid coating his hand and splashing against the tree trunk.

When Jared came, his inner muscles clenched around Jensen just tight enough to drag his own orgasm from him. As he came, Jensen bit into Jared’s shoulder to keep from crying out. After all, they were in the middle of the woods where walkers could just attack them at any moment – which now that Jensen was thinking about it, had been a reckless decision on their part. Luckily, they had been able to keep the noise level down, otherwise they could have been in trouble. 

As his orgasm subsided, Jensen leaned against Jared, catching his breath while his cock slowly softened. Now that it was done, Jensen had no idea where this left them. He was right back in that same position he had put himself in when they were in high school, and this time there hadn’t even been any alcohol to blame it on.

Well, this is what he got for thinking with his dick instead of his brain.


	7. Chapter Seven

Jared didn’t know what to say. He and Jensen had been silent since Jensen finally pulled away from him, neither of them sure what to do now. They’d done it again – they’d had sex and Jared wasn’t about to make a big deal out of it like he had last time. As far as he knew, Jensen didn’t want to be with him anymore now than he had ten years ago. This was just another mistake. At least that’s what Jared was sure Jensen was going to tell him when they finally broke the silence. Jared was just preparing for what he knew was coming… _again_.

Slowly, Jared pulled his jeans and boxers back up his long legs, hissing in slight pain at the movement. It was going to take a while to get used to the tightness he was feeling again. After all, it had been ten years since he allowed someone to fuck him, so he was bound to be a little sore. It took him a moment to locate his shirt, but as soon as he did, he quickly pulled that over his head, covering his body from Jensen’s view. All of a sudden, he wasn’t really feeling all that confident about himself and he felt very vulnerable letting Jensen see him naked.

The silence was almost unbearable. Jared had so many questions running through his head, but he didn’t know which to ask first. Any one of them could possibly cause them to start fighting again, and Jared didn’t want that. Honestly, he wished they could just bask in the afterglow of sex like a normal couple. But that wasn’t going to happen because they weren’t a normal couple – hell, they weren’t even a couple. Jared had no idea what they were, and that was what bothered him the most, he was sure.

“Why did you do it?” Jared asked softly, his voice almost inaudible. “Why’d you have sex with me again?” That seemed like the best question to ask first. Kind of a stepping stone to the other questions he had running through his mind. Like if it meant anything to Jensen. Or if he would maybe want to explore these feelings that they obviously had for each other. Before he could have those questions answered though, Jared needed to know why.

Well, that was a really good question. And one that Jensen would have loved to answer if he actually had an answer. In all honesty, he had no idea why he’d done it. They’d been arguing and one thing had led to another, and now here they were. Another mistake had been made. But could Jensen really tell Jared that? Tell him that he’d just made a mistake again? Especially when he wasn’t even sure if it had been a mistake. Obviously, there was something here, and he kind of wanted to explore it a little bit.

But there was the issue of Danneel that he had to worry about. He was in a relationship with her and he knew that he was disgusting and sick for cheating on her. Still, that didn’t mean that he regretted it. If he’d been presented with the same situation, he was almost one hundred percent sure that he would have made the same decision. Because he’d been thinking about Jared ever since that first time they’d been in this situation, so that had to mean something! 

Still, that didn’t mean he had an answer for Jared. “I…” he started, giving his head a small shake. “I don’t know,” he finally answered. “Just…heat of the moment, I guess.” Yeah, it was a lame answer, but it was all he had right now. Sure, he probably could have dug real deep and spewed out his feelings, but he just didn’t want to. This couldn’t happen again, so there was no point in Jared knowing how he felt. It would only complicate things further.

He didn’t know? _That_ was Jensen’s answer?! It was fucking pathetic. That was even worse than Jensen telling him that it was a mistake and it couldn’t ever happen again. It was like a slap in the face. Jensen just had sex with him because he thought that was the best thing to do in the heat of the moment. It was the most ridiculous, half assed answer Jared had ever received and it only proved to piss him off.

Scoffing, Jared assured Jensen in a sour tone, “Yeah, okay. Look, don’t worry Jensen, I’ll be sure to keep this time a secret too.” With that, Jared turned on his heel and started off towards the high school. Right now, he just wanted to be left alone to think. Maybe to even scold himself for getting caught up in Jensen’s web again. It was obvious that Jensen was only using him – he wasn’t getting what he wanted from Danneel, so he thought he could come get it from Jared whenever he wanted it. Well, that wasn’t going to happen.

Before Jared could get too far away, Jensen reached for him, gripping his elbow and forcing him to stay. He wasn’t sure why he did it, but he just felt compelled to make Jared stop walking away from him. Although he didn’t have a good answer for why he’d done this – and it probably wasn’t what Jared wanted to hear – he felt like Jared at least deserved the truth. Even if it wasn’t going to mean anything in the long run. 

“Wait, please?” Jensen asked, eyes pleading with Jared to just hear him out. “I meant what I said earlier, Jared. About there being something between us. I can feel it just like you do. But I don’t know what to do about it. I mean, there’s nothing that I can really do about it. I’m with Danneel and I can’t just…break up with her for you. It doesn’t matter that I might have feelings for you. She’s been with me through everything so far and I can’t just abandon her now. You understand that, right?”

For a minute, Jared thought that he was going to get the explanation he’d been looking for. Instead, he got some speech about how Jensen needed to stay loyal to Danneel. Really, Jared didn’t understand it. From what he’d seen of their relationship, Jensen was miserable. Jared could make him happy. But Jensen obviously wasn’t willing to give him that chance. “Yeah, whatever you say Jensen,” he bit back, yanking his arm out of Jensen’s grasp. “Why don’t you do us both a favor and keep your lips to yourself until you figure out what you want.”

With that, Jared headed towards the high school once more, this time not allowing Jensen to stop him. He could hear Jensen following behind him, but he didn’t care. Unless they were attacked by geeks and he had to acknowledge Jensen, Jared was going to just pretend that he wasn’t back there. Jared just couldn’t believe what had happened between them. If someone had told him this morning that he’d feel this crappy before noon, he wouldn’t have believed them. After last night with Jensen, Jared thought that there was actually a little bit of hope that their relationship would change. Apparently, he’d been wrong.

The trek back to the high school was done in silence. And it wasn’t even the comfortable kind of silence that Jensen enjoyed with Jared while they were walking into the woods. This was strained and tense – Jensen hated it. But there was nothing he could do about it. He’d explained that there was no way he and Jared could be together and Jared got mad. Not that he’d been expecting anything else, but he hadn’t wanted this. 

Jensen had been telling the truth when he said that he had feelings for Jared. And if he wasn’t so considerate when it came to Danneel, he might actually act on them. Hell, Danneel didn’t give a damn about his feelings, Jensen was sure, so he didn’t know why he even bothered trying to take care of her. Probably because keeping her happy was better than pissing her off. It saved everyone the trouble of having to walk around on egg shells around her.

When they made it back to the high school, Jared retreated to his room, just wanting to be left alone. Jensen would have done the same thing, but Danneel grabbed him and forced him to play a card game with her and Genevieve. Of course, Jensen lost every game because his mind wasn’t on the cards – it was on a younger man with shaggy chestnut hair and almond-shaped hazel eyes. His life would have been so much easier if he could just stop thinking about Jared.

Right now, Jensen was regretting agreeing to come back to this high school with Jared. Sure, it offered more protection and there was a greater chance that they weren’t going to lose any of the survivors in their group here, but it had been nothing but trouble for Jensen since he got here. Jared was messing with his head and Jensen didn’t know what to do about it. More than once, he thought about talking with Christian or Steve, but Danneel refused to leave him alone for five seconds.

After the card game, Danneel enlisted his help in folding their laundry – not that Jensen minded much since they were his clothes too. By that time, it was late enough that Christian and Steve were already in bed and Danneel was ready to hit the sack as well. So, they put their clean clothing back in the duffel bags that they lived out of and closed the door to their room. Jensen was beat after the long day he’d had, but Danneel had other plans aside from sleeping.

Last night, Jensen turned her down when she’d wanted to have sex, so tonight he just let her do whatever the hell she wanted. He had to keep up appearances, after all. If he didn’t at least let her have her way a few times a week, she would start to get suspicious. Jensen was just planning ahead on that one. 

Of course, the whole time she was on top of him, using his body to give her own the pleasure it was seeking, Jensen’s mind was on Jared. This was so different from this morning when he’d been with Jared, and Jensen found that Danneel just couldn’t give him what he needed. With Jared, there had been fire – there’d been passion. With Danneel, Jensen felt like he was just going through the motions just to get it over with.

Luckily, Danneel didn’t seem to notice, reaching her climax and just giving up on Jensen as usual. Normally, it would have pissed him off, but tonight, Jensen didn’t care. As soon as she was lying beside him, Jensen pushed himself to his feet, explaining to Danneel that he needed to go to the bathroom when she asked what he was doing. Quickly, he pulled on his boxers, not wanting to risk running into anyone out there while he was naked. After assuring her that he’d be right back, he left the room, closing the door behind himself.

What he was hoping would be some time alone in the bathroom didn’t exactly pan out the way he’d hoped. Instead, he nearly ran into Jared when he pushed the door open, his body immediately reacting to the close proximity. “Ah, shit, sorry,” he apologized, allowing the bathroom door to fall shut behind him. Jared had been standing at the sink and now he had water all over himself because Jensen had knocked into him, shoving him off balance and forcing him to steady himself. Unfortunately, Jared steadying himself involved him sticking his hand into the sink and the water splashed all over his chest and face as well as his hand.

When Jensen made a move to dry him off with the paper towels that he’d grabbed, Jared quickly pushed his hands away from him, taking the towels out of his hands. “It’s fine,” Jared assured him, wiping his own body off. He really didn’t want Jensen to touch him right now. Jared could smell the stink of sex on Jensen, which could only mean that he and Danneel had been together. God forbid Jensen would have to go a whole twenty four hours with the knowledge that he’d fucked Jared. Of course he had to run off to Danneel and make sure he got the memory of being with Jared out of his head. “I can clean myself off.”

“Yeah, I know you can,” Jensen assured Jared, frowning at him. “I just wanted to help. I mean, it was my fault.” Jared was obviously still pissed at him about what had happened earlier. Not that Jensen hadn’t already gotten the hint. After all, Jared had ignored him for the rest of the day, and when they were in the same room together, Jared just shot him glares every now and then. Jensen hated that Jared was mad at him, but there was nothing he could do about it.

Sure, he could come right out and say that he had just had sex with Danneel and it paled in comparison to what they’d had this morning, but he knew that it wouldn’t help matters. He still wasn’t going to act on these feelings, so there was no reason to drag Jared down this dark hole with him. What he really needed to do was talk to Christian. After all, Christian had confided in him about his relationship with Steve, so Jensen knew that he could trust his best friend with this kind of information. And since Christian had been able to keep the relationship going as long as he had, Jensen was sure that he’d have some killer advice for him.

His words came out a little harsher than he’d meant for them to, but it was too late to do anything about it once it was done. “I don’t need your help,” Jared insisted, tossing the paper towels into the trash can and shoving past Jensen so he could exit the bathroom. He wasn’t in the mood for niceties. If he opened up at all to Jensen, he’d only get burned – he learned that in high school. Apparently, it was one of those things that he needed to be reminded of before he actually stopped doing them. 

As the saying went _fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me._ Yeah, that was Jared’s motto right now. Sighing, he shoved his hands into his jeans pockets and headed back to his room, figuring that he might as well get some sleep tonight. After all, he promised that he would take first watch in the morning, so he needed to be on his game. The last thing they needed was for Jared to screw up and have it cost them their lives.

**~~**

Over the next few days, Jensen couldn’t get Jared to say a word to him. Hell, the few times when Jensen got Jared alone, it was a miracle. And it didn’t last for long because Jared would quickly get away from him any way he could. Just yesterday, Jensen had walked into the bathroom while Jared was there, and Jared didn’t even bother to wash his hands before he all but bolted out of the room. Not that Jensen could really blame him, but he kind of wanted to talk to Jared about what happened. After all, Jared wasn’t the only one who was confused in this situation!

It seemed as though everyone could tell that there was tension between Jensen and Jared, too. Well, everyone except Danneel and Genevieve who were pretty much oblivious to everything that was going on around them that didn’t involve giving each other manicures. Seriously, when the dead started rising, Jensen had grabbed supplies to keep himself alive like food, water, weapons, and clothing – the first thing Genevieve grabbed was her makeup and her nail polish. Jensen was seriously never going to understand the woman.

A few times, Jeffrey and Jim had even tried to talk to Jensen about what was wrong. They assured him that it seemed as though he and Jared weren’t acting like they normally did, but Jensen just brushed it off. He didn’t know what to say to them. After all, it wasn’t like he could just come out and explain that he and Jared had sex again after ten years and now they were in an awkward place. That would go over well, he was sure. Especially if the news got back to Danneel. The last thing he needed was for her to know that he’d cheated on her with Jared. She already hated the man!

So, at breakfast, Jensen just stared at Jared from across the room and pretended to listen to whatever Danneel and Genevieve were rattling on about. Sometimes, Jared even looked back, but it wasn’t for long, unfortunately. As soon as Jared realized that Jensen saw him looking, he’d turn away. All Jensen wanted to do was talk to him – explain to him a little more about why he’d allowed himself to get out of control and have sex with Jared again, maybe. But no, he couldn’t even do that because Jared wouldn’t speak to him. 

And Jensen missed the easy conversations they’d been able to have before all of this. When he first came here, he and Jared could talk about anything really. That night when Jared had come to spend time with him while he was on watch had been amazing. Jensen wanted that back! But he’d screwed that up because he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants, and he hated himself for it. Honestly, he was surprised that he hadn’t learned his lesson the first time. In high school, he and Jared stopped talking because he couldn’t keep his private parts to himself, and now this was no different. When was he going to learn?!

After breakfast, Jensen tried to catch Jared before he scurried off, but he was cut off by Sandy who shot him an evil glare as well. Great, Jared had apparently told Sandy and now she was mad at him, too. It figured that this would be his luck. He’d actually been thinking about recruiting Sandy in helping him get Jared to talk to him, but that wasn’t going to happen now. Apparently, she was mad at him for hurting Jared. Again, it wasn’t like Jensen could blame her. He just wished that Jared hadn’t told her about it.

Sighing, Jensen turned back towards the hallway that would take him to his room, having every intention of going there to pout. However, Christian blocked his way, a small frown on his lips. “Okay Jen, spill,” he insisted, throwing his arm around Jensen’s shoulders and leading him away from the other survivors. He knew that if he were about to spill his guts to a friend, he’d want to do it away from everyone so the whole group didn’t know his business. Once they were far enough away, Christian explained, “There’s something going on between you and Jared, and I want to know what it is.”

Honestly, Jensen was relieved that Christian had come to speak with him. He’d been trying to get his best friend alone for days now, but the timing was never right. Every time Jensen went to speak with Christian, he was with Steve and Jensen hadn’t wanted to interrupt. Now, he could finally tell Christian the whole story and hopefully get an idea about what he should do. After all, he wasn’t doing such a great job on his own here, so a new opinion would do him some good. 

He’d been thinking of talking to Christian for days now, but when he finally had the opportunity, he had no idea what he was going to say. He didn’t want to just come out and say that he and Jared had fucked against a tree, but he didn’t want to beat around the bush either. Danneel could come over here and try to drag him away from Christian at any moment, so Jensen knew he needed to plan for that. So, right now he wasn’t seeing another option other than blurting it out – ripping the Band-Aid off quick.

“We had sex,” Jensen finally explained, figuring that was the best way to go. At least he wasn’t telling Christian that they’d been arguing about what happened ten years ago and then they did the nasty against a tree like two horny teenagers. And that was how it had been exactly – they’d been acting like sex-starved teenagers. Jensen wasn’t embarrassed to admit that he’d loved every minute of it – at least not to himself, anyway.

For a minute, Christian thought he hadn’t heard Jensen correctly. Surely, he hadn’t just said that he’d had sex with Jared because he was straight. He was in a relationship with Danneel and had been since high school, so there was no way that Jensen was telling him that he’d done the deed with another man. But that’s what he’d heard, and it honestly had him speechless. Not to mention curious. He needed to know the whole story before he could give his friend any kind of real, solid advice. “What do you mean?” he asked, frowning at Jensen. “When?”

What did he mean?! Seriously?! “What do you mean, what do I mean?” Jensen hissed softly, frowning at his best friend. “I mean I fucked Jared! How can I say that any clearer for you?!” Jensen quickly darted his gaze around the room to make sure no one was listening to them. He had yelled that rather loudly, after all. Once he was satisfied that no one had been listening, Jensen sighed once more, licking his lips as he explained, “A few days ago. When he and I took that walk through the woods.”

To say that Christian was shocked would have been an understatement. The last person he thought would ever have sex with another man would be Jensen Ackles. But here he was telling Christian that things between him and Jared were so tense because he’d boinked him. He just had to take a minute to process all of this. “So, you had sex with Jared in the woods?” he asked, just to make sure he was getting all of this. “And…what happened? I mean, I don’t need all of the details, but I do need a little bit more to go on here, Jen.”

Now, Jensen was starting to rethink his plan to tell Christian. It was turning into more than he wanted it to and he wasn’t sure how much he wanted to disclose about this situation. But Christian was his best friend, and Jensen knew that he could trust him, so he continued with his current predicament. “Well, we were just talking about random things while we walked, and then I asked him if he was dating Chad. It led to some kind of argument for some reason – I don’t even remember why now – and he brought up the first night we were here and I was on watch. He came down to stay with me because he couldn’t sleep I guess, and…we almost kissed.” 

Jensen allowed that to sink in before he continued, “Jared was instigating me. Pushing all the right buttons, and one thing led to another. Before I even knew what was happening, Jared was naked and I was…well, you know. And when it was over, Jared asked me why I did it, but I didn’t have an answer for him. So, he got mad, and he won’t talk to me now. And I think he told Sandy because she keeps shooting me dirty looks.”

As soon as Jensen finished his story, Christian started chuckling. Honestly, he tried to hold it in, but what was he supposed to do when Jensen told him a story like this?! He knew Jensen was confused – and possibly a little angry – about his laughter, but he couldn’t help it. “Oh, Jen, I’m sorry,” he chuckled, grabbing his friend’s wrist and keeping him from leaving. “Sorry, it’s just the way you told that was a little funny. And your face is all red, so how can you expect me not to laugh a little?!”

Okay yeah, Jensen knew his face was red because he felt it heating up, but that didn’t mean Christian had to laugh! Punching his friend in the arm, Jensen argued, “You’re supposed to be giving me advice on what I’m supposed to be doing? Not laughing at me you jerk!”

Holding his hands up as though he were surrendering, Christian apologized, “I’m sorry, your face was just funny.” He took a moment to compose himself before he asked, “Do you have feelings for him, Jen? And I’m being serious, so answer me honestly. You know that I’m not going to judge you.”

If there was one thing Jensen knew, it was that he could count on Christian not to judge him. Christian had trusted Jensen enough to tell him about his relationship with Steve, so Jensen knew he could count on him. “I don’t know,” he answered, giving his head a small shake. “When I’m with Jared, I get so fucking confused…about everything. There’s definitely something between us, but I don’t know how to explain it. But…I mean, I like spending time with him. And the sex was… _amazing_.”

Again, Jensen could feel his cheeks heating up with the admission, though Christian didn’t laugh at him this time, luckily. Jensen wasn’t sure if he could have handled it if Christian laughed at him when they were having a serious conversation like this.

Equipped with all of the facts now, Christian merely nodded, thinking of the best way to word his advice. “If you want my opinion, I think you should tell Jared how you really feel,” he explained, smiling reassuringly at Jensen. “I mean, obviously Jared feels something for you too if he was willing to have sex with you, so what’s the worst that could happen? You might actually be happier when you tell him, and that tension between the two of you might ease a little bit. I mean, you could cut that shit with a knife right now, man.”

It was true – Jensen couldn’t deny that. There was only one problem with Christian’s plan. Jared wouldn’t even stay in the same room alone with Jensen, let alone talk to him. So, even if Jensen worked up the nerve to talk to Jared about it, he wasn’t going to be able to actually tell him how he felt. “Jared won’t talk to me,” Jensen reminded, a small frown on his lips. “How am I supposed to tell him anything? He runs from me when we’re in a room alone together.”

Well, although that made the plan harder, it didn’t make it impossible. “I can handle that. I’ll just ask Steve to help me get Jared somewhere and you can be there waiting for him. We can lock you in somewhere – like one of the spare rooms – and he’ll have to talk to you if he wants to get out.” There, now there was no way Jensen could make an excuse to chicken out.

“Okay,” Jensen answered, giving his head a small nod. “Do it. How about in about an hour? There’s a room three doors down from mine and Danneel’s where we can be alone. I can be waiting in there for him and when he comes in, I can just lock us in.” That seemed like a damn good plan. Jensen could hide behind the door so Jared didn’t see him and he’d finally be able to talk to him. God, Christian was good at this.

**~~**

The next hour seemed to fly by. Jensen was getting nervous just thinking about being locked in a room with Jared alone. They didn’t really have a good track record with being alone, after all. The last thing Jensen needed was to let history repeat itself. That would only make things worse for them. Not that Jensen thought Jared would even allow something like that. He was mad at him, after all.

He didn’t have time to dwell too much on anything because before he knew it, he heard Jared’s voice coming down the hall. Quickly, he rushed behind the door and hid himself as well as he could so Jared wouldn’t see him before he walked into their trap. If Jared saw him in this room, Jensen was sure he would get spooked and run the other way. That couldn’t happen. Jensen needed to get this done.

A small frown came to Jared’s lips as he walked into the classroom, glancing at the desk in the front of the room for a moment before turning his attention back to Steve. “What did you say you left in the desk again?” he asked, moving towards it slowly as he waited for Steve’s answer. When he didn’t receive one, he frowned, turning towards Steve to see if he was even listening.

Instead of getting an answer out of Steve, all he got was the door slamming closed and Jensen standing locked in the room with him. Dammit, he should have known this was a trap. Honestly, he just hadn’t thought Jensen cared enough to collaborate with Christian and Steve to get him alone in a room with him; apparently, he’d been wrong. And that actually made Jared feel a little better about the whole Jensen situation he was in.

Of course, he wasn’t going to let Jensen know that. He needed to make Jensen believe that he was still pissed off at him, which shouldn’t be too hard since he really kind of was. Just because he cared enough to get him alone in a room didn’t mean Jensen cared about Jared the way he wanted – _needed_ – him to. Moving towards the door, Jared tried to grab the handle, but Jensen stopped him. “Let me out of here,” he ordered, frowning at Jensen.

This was it. He had Jared in the room with him, and he needed to make him listen. He’d wanted to take Christian’s advice when he heard it, and Jensen wasn’t going to let himself chicken out now. “No,” he argued when Jared insisted that he let him out. “You won’t talk to me anywhere else, so this is what we’ve been reduced to.” Locking the door, Jensen explained, “That only unlocks from the outside, and only when I give Christian the signal. So, you’re stuck in here until you listen to what I have to say. Take a seat and get comfortable, because you have to listen to me. There’s no way to escape me now.”

Jared had to admit – he was impressed. Jensen must have really put some thought into this. And he was a little turned on by the way Jensen was taking control like this – demanding that Jared listen to what he had to say. Besides, Jensen had been trying for days to get Jared alone so they could talk, so Jared supposed that he could at least humor Jensen for a little while. Still, that didn’t mean he wasn’t still pissed at him for that lame ass answer he’d come up with in the woods. Jared was still _very_ mad about that.

Slowly, Jared took a seat on the desk, keeping his eyes glued to the floor instead of on Jensen. He had a theory that if he didn’t look at Jensen, those damn eyes couldn’t mesmerize him so he’d do anything Jensen wanted. And that happened all of the time! It wasn’t just something Jared made up – it was a real thing. Jensen’s eyes had that ability and Jared wasn’t taking any chances. “Okay, you wanted me in here so you could tell me something that you’ve been trying to tell me all week. So, speak up. I’m listening now. As you’ve pointed out, I can’t go anywhere until you let me.”

Yeah, that was easier said than done. Jensen still hadn’t figured out how he wanted to word this, so there was a chance they were just going to sit here for the next hour until Jensen got his thoughts in line. He knew that Christian had been right – it was time that he told Jared how he felt so it was out there and they could hopefully stop ignoring each other. Jensen hated this more than fighting – at least if they were fighting, Jared would be speaking to him. “I um…I just wanted to tell you how I felt. And I had this whole speech I was going to give you, but now that I’m in here and you’re here, I can’t remember a damn word of it,” Jensen chuckled, giving his head a small shake.

The fact that Jensen had actually prepared a speech brought a small smile to Jared’s face. Dammit, staying mad at Jensen was hard! Although he’d promised himself that he wasn’t going to look at Jensen, he couldn’t help that his eyes were sliding upwards, his tongue slowly sliding along his lips. “You don’t have to prepare a speech, Jen. If you feel it, you just have to put those feelings into words. If it’s a _true_ feeling, and you’re not making it up, then it shouldn’t be too hard.”

Maybe it wasn’t hard for Jared, but Jensen didn’t generally talk about his feelings. He saved that for Danneel. And she never asked Jensen to reciprocate, so he very rarely voiced his feelings. Sure, he’d tell Christian and Steve that he loved them, but they were his friends. It was easier to let your friends know how you felt. With Jared, Jensen felt like if he didn’t say the right thing, Jared was going to take it the wrong way and he’d be mad at him. Still, he supposed that he could try. After all, it wasn’t like he was going to make Jared any madder at him than he already was, right?

Taking a deep breath, Jensen tentatively took a step closer to Jared. “Well…I was going to tell you that there’s definitely something between us. You were right about that. And while I don’t fully understand what it is, I know that it’s not something I can ignore.” Slowly, he moved slightly closer, now close enough to touch if he reached for Jared, though he didn’t press his luck. “I know that what I feel for you is different than what I feel for Danneel – stronger… somehow _better_ , I think. Lately…it’s just been different with her. Like going through the motions or something and it’s…hard to be around her when all I want to do is go find you and see what you’re doing.”

It was a shock to know that Danneel and Jensen weren’t actually the picture perfect couple that she portrayed them as. Sure, Jared had known there were issues – like Jensen had cheated on her with him – but other than that, he thought they were great. Listening to Jensen’s side of the story, he knew that wasn’t the case. And knowing that it was because Jensen had these feelings for him should have made him feel bad, but it didn’t. Actually, it made him feel hopeful. Slowly, Jared stood, closing the distance between himself and Jensen almost completely as he whispered, “Keep going. Tell me everything.”

That was a very broad term – everything. There was so much Jensen wanted to tell him, but he knew that he wasn’t going to disclose all of his secrets. After all, he was going to have to tell Jared that he wasn’t breaking up with Danneel, so there was no chance they could be together. Still, he wanted Jared to know just how he felt so he knew that their time together hadn’t been a lie. Licking his lips, he continued, “I feel like you’re a drug…and I can’t quit. I’m fucking addicted already Jay, and I’ve only been back in your company for a few days.”

Before Jensen could say anything else, Jared broke down, grabbing a fistful of Jensen’s shirt and yanking him forward, crushing their lips together in a passionate kiss full of heat and desire. He stumbled forward, shoving Jensen backwards with him until Jensen slammed into the wall, Jared’s hands roaming over Jensen’s cotton covered torso. But it wasn’t enough – he wanted more. Roughly, he shoved his hands up under Jensen’s shirt, feeling Jensen’s muscles rippling beneath his fingers, causing a deep moan to escape from Jared’s throat to be swallowed up in the kiss.

The kiss caught Jensen completely off guard, though not in a bad way. Honestly, Jensen actually preferred this to talking. At least with this, Jensen knew what he was doing. Talking about his feelings was way out of his element, but _showing_ his feelings through kisses and touches wasn’t anything new to him. And he was prepared to do that with Jared, his hands fisting in Jared’s hair as he dragged Jared closer, the kiss becoming just this side of rough.

But that didn’t last long because he remembered that he wasn’t actually supposed to be making out with Jared. He was supposed to be telling him that they had to stop this because there was no way he was breaking up with Danneel. And while he loved doing this, and he wanted to be with Jared, it just couldn’t happen. Jensen wasn’t going to ruin a ten year relationship for something that he wasn’t even sure he could ever really have. Jensen just wasn’t sure if he was ever going to be in a place where he could tell anyone he was with Jared. After all, he was raised to believe that sexual acts with another man were a sin.

When he needed air, Jensen turned his head to the side, groaning softly when Jared started kissing his cheek, lips and teeth grazing over his face to his chin before moving to his neck. “Jared, wait,” he breathed, giving his head a small shake as he gripped Jared’s biceps. Shit, Jared worked out. As if he needed something to make him even more attractive! “Jay, stop. There’s something else you should know.” Of course, that didn’t make Jared stop what he was doing, so Jensen figured that he might as well blurt it out. That would be enough to make Jared stop. “Jared, I’m not breaking up with Danneel. I can’t. You and I can’t be together.”

“What?” Jared asked, finally pulling away from Jensen, a deep frown on his lips. “But you just said—” Oh God, he’d done it again. He allowed Jensen to pull him into his web – to cast his spell – and now he was being punished for it. God, when was he going to learn his damn lesson. Pulling away completely, Jared moved towards the door, angrily turning the knob. “Let me out!” he ordered, glaring at Jensen. He was such a fucking idiot for believing that Jensen was ever going to choose him over Danneel.

Although Jensen knew that Jared was pissed and it was probably a good idea to just let him leave and cool off, Jensen needed to know that Jared wasn’t going to go back to ignoring him. “Jared, please, just listen to me. I still meant what I said – I still feel that way. But…I just can’t break up with Danneel right now. We’ve been together ten years and to just throw that away over something that I don’t even understand – it wouldn’t make sense!”

Angrily, Jared shoved Jensen away from him when he tried to get too close. “Let me out now!” he ordered. “I don’t want to hear it, Jensen! God, I’m such a fucking idiot! I let myself believe for one second that you were actually going to be with me! And what do I get for it? The same thing I always get from you – a bullshit excuse and reasons why we can’t be together. I’m done with it, Jensen! I’m done with _you_! So let me the hell out!”

Jared’s words cut like a knife. They were true – all of it was true, and that was what hurt the most. Opening the door, Jensen quickly grabbed Jared’s arm, keeping him there for a moment longer so he could try again to make Jared understand. “Jared, please, don’t be mad at me, okay? I’m just trying to keep the peace. You understand that if I were to break up with Danneel, we’d have a third world war on our hands, right? But everything I said…all of it…that was true. I really do have feelings for you.”

None of that mattered. Jensen could have feelings for Jared all he wanted, that wasn’t going to make Jared any less angry at him. “Until you get your issues figured out, just leave me the hell alone, Jensen. I’m tired of your excuses.” With that, Jared roughly yanked his arm out of Jensen’s grasp and headed down the hallway, a tear sliding down his cheek as he turned the corner.


	8. Chapter Eight

“What do you mean you told him that there was no way you could be together?” Christian asked, surprise clear in his voice. They had offered to walk the perimeter and make sure there were no walkers getting too close, and Christian had asked to know what happened after he and Steve left. After all, the plan had been for Jensen to tell Jared how he felt, and then Christian and Steve had been hoping that Jensen and Jared would get together. It was obvious that they had something between them – Christian had seen that the minute they weren’t being attacked by walkers on the roof of that gun store.

Jensen wasn’t in the mood to talk about this right now. It was all still fresh in his mind and he didn’t want to share – even if Christian was his best friend. Rolling his eyes, he kicked a stick out of his path as he explained, “I told him that I wasn’t breaking up with Danneel, so there was no chance of us getting together. He got mad, and he told me to leave him alone until I’ve worked out ‘my issues.’ So…we’re still fighting, I guess. I mean, he’s still ignoring me, so I figure he’s still pissed at me.”

Now, it was Christian’s turn to roll his eyes. “Why the fuck would you tell him that, Jensen?” he demanded, honestly a little angry at his friend’s behavior. “Obviously, you like Jared. I could tell that the second my life wasn’t in immediate danger. Hell, I even made a joke about it when we first met him, remember?!” When Jensen nodded, Christian returned the gesture. “So, you can’t deny that there’s chemistry. I mean, you had sex with him, so obviously, you’re not denying there’s something there.”

Shaking his head, Jensen assured him, “I’m not denying anything, Chris. All I’m saying is that I’ve been with Danneel for ten years, and I’m not going to ruin that for something that might just be blind passion. For all I know, Jared and I could get together and we could sizzle out within a week. And then I would have ruined what I’ve had with Danneel since high school.” Shaking his head, he explained, “It’s just too much of a risk. And the consequences are too high.”

Although Christian could see where Jensen was coming from, he couldn’t agree with his friend. “You need to get over Danneel,” he blurted out, instantly regretting it when Jensen stopped completely and just gave him a confused look. But he’d been holding this in for a while, and he was actually glad it was coming out now. “Look, you’re bored with her. I can tell. You never seem alive when she’s around anymore. But with Jared…you’re able to be you. You’re animated again, and I love it. Danneel’s nice and all Jen, but you have to start thinking about what’s best for you. And if you ask me, that’s Jared.”

A small smile came to Christian’s lips as he slapped his friend on the shoulder and added, “Just because the world’s all but dead these days, doesn’t mean you have to be, Jensen. Let yourself at least give Jared a chance. I mean, if you are right, I’ll eat my words, but just… _try_ , Jen! You’re never going to know if she’s the one for you if you don’t have anything to compare it to!”

Oh, Jensen had someone to compare it to – Jared. And he knew that he wanted to be with Jared more than he wanted to be with Danneel, but she was the safe choice. And right now, Jensen needed a little safety in his life. Of course, that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to take Christian’s words into consideration because he valued his friend’s opinion and he owed it to Christian to at least think about it. “I’ll think about it. But I’m not like you, Christian. I wasn’t raised in the open family you were. Being…attracted to another man will apparently damn me to Hell, and I don’t need any help getting there, okay?”

Rolling his eyes again, Christian scoffed at the memory of Jensen’s family. “They didn’t know what they were talking about, Jensen. If you really love someone, it doesn’t matter if they’re the same sex or not.” A small smile came to his lips as he thought about Steve. “You can’t even imagine your life without that person. And when you’re together, nothing else matters because you have each other. You’d die for that person, no matter what. Sex isn’t something that determines that, Jensen – you can’t help who you fall in love with.”

Before Jensen had a chance to answer, three walkers emerged from the woods, their groans intensifying at the sight of food. Jensen and Christian took care of them quickly and quietly so they didn’t attract more of their kind before they continued their trek into the woods. “I don’t know if I’m in love with him, though,” Jensen finally admitted. “I mean, I like being with him and the sex was great, but does that mean I love him? I don’t think so. And besides, what if I actually do love him and I tell him about it, and he rejects me because of all the shit I’ve pulled lately? Or worse – what if he doesn’t love me back? That’s a risk I’m not willing to take, Christian.”

“He feels the same way, Jen,” Christian assured his friend. “Any idiot can tell that Jared is in love with you just by the way he’s always looking at you. Even when he’s pissed off at you, he can’t keep his eyes off you. The kid’s got it bad, Jensen. And you’re an idiot if you don’t at least explore the feelings you have for him just because you’re afraid that it might not work out.” Smiling at Jensen, he added, “And I mean that in the nicest, friendliest way possible.”

As they walked further into the woods, light coming from a small cottage caught their attention. Slowly, Christian made his way towards the cottage, knocking on the door to get the attention of any walkers that might be inside. After all, it was best to deal with the dead outside in the open rather than in a confined space where you could get cornered. 

Sure enough five walkers came barreling out of the cottage, one knocking Christian on the ground and pinning him there, jaws snapping at him hungrily. Two more tripped over themselves to lie on the first walker’s back, groaning and snapping at Christian in hopes of tasting his flesh. The other two moved around the struggle on the ground and went after Jensen. Of course, Jensen wasted no time slamming his knife through their skulls before he quickly moved to help Christian. 

His friend had already taken care of the first two on him, but he couldn’t reach the last one since the dead bodies of the other two walkers were in his way. So, Jensen grabbed the walker by the collar of his shirt and yanked him off Christian, jamming his knife into the back of its head before he tossed it off to the side, doing the same with its fallen companions before he helped Christian to his feet. “You okay?” he asked, checking over Christian to make sure he didn’t have any bites or scratches on him.

A small groan escaped Christian as he rubbed flesh off his clothes, frowning at the messy state that he was now in. “Yeah, I’m just peachy,” he muttered, glaring at the bodies on the ground not three feet away. “Fucking nasty ass walkers. I mean, every time I get close to them, they leave something behind on my clothes! Steve’s gonna be pissed at me because I ‘got attacked and could have gotten myself hurt.’ He worries too much.”

Shrugging, Jensen explained, “He loves you. He’s allowed to worry too much.” Cautiously, Jensen moved into the cottage, keeping his knife at the ready in case there were more stragglers waiting inside. He made a lap around the house, smiling when he was finally satisfied that there was nothing in there. “Looks like it’s all clear in here!” he called to Christian, smiling as he grabbed the remote and flicked on the television. He was surprised to find that it actually came on, though there was nothing but static on all of the channels. “Hey, there’s still power in this place.”

The sound of the water running from the bathroom drew Jensen’s attention away from the television. “Oh my God, Jen!” Christian called from the bathroom, a wide smile on his lips as he poked his head out to look at his friend. “There’s hot water. The water is scalding hot! Do you know what that means?! Hot showers!” 

It was hard not to laugh at Christian’s enthusiasm, though he could appreciate it. After all, it had been a long time since any of them had been able to enjoy a hot shower, so Jensen was pretty excited about the new information as well. “They must have had a separate propane heating system set up here, or something,” Jensen explained, moving into the bathroom with Christian and holding his hand under the warm spray for a few minutes. “We should tell the others about this place.”

“Or, we could not tell them and keep it to ourselves,” Christian suggested, a small frown on his lips at the suggestion of having to share this place. And Jensen was looking at him like he was a greedy little kid, but he needed to explain where he was at with this place. “C’mon Jen, you can’t tell me that you wouldn’t want to have a place where you could go and just cool off. I mean, the high school’s great and all, but there’s not a lot of privacy. Think about it – I could bring Steve here and have a nice, quiet time _alone_ with him, if you get what I mean. Please? Can we just…not tell anyone else? Except the people we may want to bring here for some _alone_ time?”

Well, when Christian put it that way, Jensen could understand where he was coming from. Sure, he didn’t really have to worry about not having privacy because Danneel made sure they were in a completely different wing than everyone else, but he knew Christian and Steve didn’t have that luxury. “Fine, we can keep it to ourselves,” he finally caved, groaning softly when Christian wrapped his arms around him and gave him a huge hug. “But we’re going to have to come up with some kind of sign so that we don’t walk in on each other when we’re here with people.”

That was a good point. Glancing at the door, Christian saw that it had a lock that was still in pretty decent shape. “We could just keep the door locked when we’re alone in here with someone,” he suggested with a small shrug. “And we could tell each other that we’re heading out here before we actually come out here so the other knows that they shouldn’t try to take someone there. I mean, if the opportunity presents itself, anyway. Sometimes these things can be spur of the moment, right?”

If there was one thing Jensen knew about sex, it was that it could be spur of the moment. That was how he’d managed to get himself into this mess with Jared in the first place. “Yeah, okay,” he muttered, smiling softly at Christian as he walked out of the bathroom. “We should probably head back before someone starts to think that something bad happened to us. The last thing we need right now is for someone to send a search party looking for us.”

**~~**

When they arrived at the high school, Jensen noticed that Jared quickly left the room as soon as he entered. Great, so they were back to that. He also noticed the look that Christian shot him, but he chose to ignore it. Right now, the last thing he wanted was for Christian to try to have a conversation with him about Jared. Somehow, Jensen was going to figure out a way to fix this. And if he couldn’t, then he was going to find a way to move on. One way or another, he wasn’t going to let Jared ignoring him bother him.

As soon as Christian saw Steve, he elbowed Jensen in the ribs gently, smiling at his friend. “Don’t come up to the cabin for a while, okay?” he muttered, licking his lips as Steve started towards him. “I’m going to be there. And with Steve, there’s no telling when I’ll be coming back.” Smiling wider at Jensen, Christian asked, “Cover for me in case anyone asks where I am?”

Without hesitation, Jensen nodded, letting his friend know that he had his back. Christian was gone soon after, all but dragging Steve from the building, causing a small chuckle to escape Jensen. Honestly, he was really tired, so he just wanted to get some sleep. The night before he hadn’t slept so well with the way he’d left things with Jared, so he figured he might be able to sleep a few hours now that exhaustion was riding him like its bitch. 

Unfortunately, that had been a pipe dream. As soon as he walked into his room, he was bombarded with questions about Jared from Danneel and Genevieve. Why Genevieve was even in his room was a completely different issue that he’d deal with later when he wasn’t being yelled at by two screaming women. “Calm down!” he ordered, frowning at Genevieve before he turned his attention to Danneel. “What’s this about? Seriously Danni, I’m tired. I don’t want to deal with this right now.”

A wide smile came to her lips as Danneel turned her attention away from Jensen, completely ignoring his complaint about being tired as she explained, “Genevieve thinks she has the power to convert Jared back to a man who actually wants to be with a woman. So, she figured since the two of you have been hanging out a lot lately, you would be able to answer a few questions for her about him. So she could get to know him a little better first, I guess.” Turning her attention back to Jensen, she frowned as her head tilted to the side. “But if you’re too tired to help her, you could always go to her room and catch some sleep. Genevieve and I are gonna stay in here and chat.”

Although he didn’t want to go into a room where Chad might possibly be lingering, he figured he didn’t have a choice. Spending time with Chad was a lot better than answering questions about Jared. Especially since Genevieve only wanted answers so she could seduce Jared – like he was going to assist with that. The only person he wanted to be seducing Jared right now was himself! “Yeah, I’m gonna go down there and sleep,” he answered, forcing himself to smile when Danneel wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug.

Before she allowed him to leave the room, Danneel crushed their lips together, pushing her tongue past his lips to tangle with his own. “Sweet dreams, babe,” she smiled when she pulled back, moving to take a seat next to Genevieve once more as Jensen left the room. “I told you he wasn’t going to answer your questions,” she assured her friend. “When it comes to Jared, he’s been really weird lately.”

Frowning, Genevieve suggested, “Well, maybe that’s because he developed some feelings for Jared, or something. I mean, Jared’s hot. And if he was looking at me the way he looks at Jensen all of the time, there’s no way I wouldn’t give him some attention.” Shrugging, she added, “I’m just saying, maybe you should do a little better letting Jared know just who Jensen’s with. You’ve been being very lenient with Jensen lately – letting him go off on his own all of the time and last night you had no idea where he was before he came here to sleep. I think you’re giving him too much slack on that leash you’re supposed to have him on.”

“Please, Jensen would never cheat on me,” Danneel assured her friend, though her tone wasn’t as confident as it usually was. She had noticed that Jensen was acting weird lately – not coming to bed with her until late at night, getting really moody when she tried to have sex with him. But surely, that had nothing to do with Jared Padalecki. After all, Jensen wasn’t gay. “And he sure as hell wouldn’t cheat on me with another man, okay? Let’s just drop it. If you want information on Jared, you’re obviously going to have to get it yourself. So, run some things by me. How do you plan on making Jared fall head over heels for you?”

Meanwhile, downstairs, Jensen pushed open the door to Genevieve and Chad’s room, just wanting to lie down and pass out. However, as soon as he opened the door, he regretted it. There were just some things in this world that he had never wanted to see. And Chad having sex was definitely high on that list.

Quickly, Chad rushed to cover the woman under him with the thin blanket while still trying to cover himself, a deep frown on his lips. “Dammit Genevieve, you could at least knock before you come into the room!” he growled, his eyes widening in surprise when he saw that it was actually Jensen. “Oh, you’re not Genevieve. What do you want?”

Although Chad tried his best to cover the woman he was with – probably so she felt a little more privacy – Jensen couldn’t help but see that his efforts weren’t working too well. Luckily, the woman grabbed the blankets and yanked them around her chest, frowning deeply when she realized that Jensen had actually interrupted them. “Jensen?” she asked, glaring at him. “What the hell are you doing in here?”

Oh great, not only did he have to deal with Chad, but apparently he had to deal with Sandy, too. This was just peachy. Two of Jared’s friends in the same room and Jensen was all alone to deal with the glares and hateful words. “Genevieve’s in my room with Danneel, so she told me to come here and sack out,” he explained, holding his hands up in a defensive position. “Obviously she didn’t know the two of you would be in here. So…yeah…I’m just gonna…go…that way.” Without giving them a chance to answer, Jensen quickly turned and all but bolted from the room.

There were a dozen other rooms on the second floor that weren’t being occupied at the moment, so Jensen went to one of them, closing the door behind himself and turning the lock. He hadn’t known that it was going to be so hard to get some alone time around here. If Christian wasn’t at the cabin with Steve, Jensen would have had half a mind to go there and sleep, but he wasn’t about to interrupt another couple from getting their rocks off. Sighing, he pulled up a chair and slumped back into it, allowing the exhaustion to finally pull him under.

**~~**

Over the next few days, Jared continued to actively ignore Jensen. He wouldn’t talk to him, but he sure as hell looked at him enough. But Jensen pretended that it didn’t bother him, although he wanted nothing more than to go over there and make Jared speak to him. Jensen hated that Jared wouldn’t talk to him, but he knew that he only had himself to blame for that fact. If he had just taken the risk and allowed himself to get close to Jared, this wouldn’t be happening right now.

But no, Jensen was a chicken shit and he wanted to take the safe route. A route that had been hanging all over him and making a show out of kissing and grinding on him every time he was around Jared lately. And Jensen let her because when she was all over him, trying everything in her power to have his full attention on her, Jared actually paid attention to him. He could see that Jared was jealous when he was with Danneel, even if he pretended that it didn’t bother him. Apparently, that was their thing now.

One day, Misha and Vicky had gone on a small run to a town not too far from the high school and they brought back some alcohol. Everyone had taken the opportunity to get a little buzzed. Well, everyone except Jared, who claimed he didn’t drink. Danneel had flaunted hers and Jensen’s relationship the drunker she got until she finally passed out on the floor, followed not too shortly after by a few of the other light weights in the group.

After a while, Jared slipped away to the bathroom to get some space from all of the boisterous drunken survivors. Luckily, they weren’t being loud enough to attract any unwanted attention, so Jared at least had that to be thankful for. He didn’t think much of it when the door opened, figuring someone was coming in to vomit after drinking too much; however, his world started to spin when he saw Jensen standing behind him, a small smile on Jensen’s lips.

Quickly, Jared turned to face Jensen, frowning at him. “What are you smiling at?” he asked, trying to sound angry although it was kind of hard when Jensen was smirking at him like that. Of course, Jared knew that he should just get out of there – when Jensen had alcohol in his system, things never really went all that great for them. Sure, it was fine for a few hours, but when Jensen sobered up, everything went to Hell in a hand basket. 

“You,” Jensen answered honestly, chuckling when Jared merely frowned at him. Stumbling a step closer – yeah, maybe he’d had more to drink than he should have – he quickly caught himself on the sink behind Jared, effectively bracketing Jared between his arms. “I know that you’re just pretending to hate me. You’ve been pretending to hate me ever since I told you I wasn’t breaking up with Danneel. And that’s fine, Jared – you can pretend all you want. But I know that you’re jealous. That you wish you were in her shoes every time she gets close to me.”

Shaking his head, Jared tried to get away from Jensen, but he didn’t want to push too hard because it looked like Jensen was going to fall on his ass at any moment. “You’re wrong,” he assured him, giving his head another shake. “I’m not pretending to hate you. I’m just ignoring you – there’s a difference. You know that I could never hate you. But I’m not jealous of Danneel either. I don’t care what the two of you do while you’re together. I’m moving on.”

Jensen moved his hand to grip Jared’s face when Jared wouldn’t look at him, forcing his head to turn so they were facing each other. “Stop lying to me,” he ordered, jerking Jared’s head once more when he tried to get out of his grip. “You’re jealous. Just admit it.” He wasn’t sure why he wanted Jared to just admit it, but he did. He wanted Jared to say the fucking words and stop acting like it didn’t matter to him.

The anger he was feeling over the last few days towards Jensen finally bubbled over, causing Jared to shove Jensen’s hand off him. “Fine!” he hissed. “You want me to say it, I will. Seeing Danneel crawling all over you like that makes me jealous. And yes, I wish I was in her shoes every time I see her hanging all over you, or kissing you, and I know it’s fucking pathetic, okay?! There – are you happy now, Jensen?!”

Instead of answering Jared’s question, Jensen swooped in and captured Jared’s lips, moaning instantly when Jared’s unique flavor exploded over his lips, over his tongue when he shoved it between Jared’s lips. He’d been waiting for days to do that again, and now that he was finally allowed to kiss Jared, he was going to make the most of it. His hands came up to fist in Jared’s hair, pulling him closer as he moaned once more.

However, the kiss was cut short when Jared placed both hands against Jensen’s chest and shoved him – _hard_. “What the hell is wrong with you?!” Jared demanded, shaking his head at Jensen, who seemed to just now understand that he was drunk and he shouldn’t have done that. “You need to _stop_. I gave you the chance to have me, and you didn’t take it. So you need to choose – me or Danneel. You can’t have us both.”

With that, Jared left the bathroom, retreating to his room where he knew he’d be left alone. The kiss had turned him on, and as much as he hated it, he couldn’t deny that he was still attracted to Jensen – it was always going to be there. And as much as he wanted to move on, he just couldn’t. Jensen was able to play him like a fiddle, and Jared hated that he couldn’t make Jensen stop. The alcohol had a big role in what had happened tonight, but Jared still couldn’t get the few times he and Jensen had shared something when Jensen had been one hundred percent sober out of his mind. And that was why Jared just couldn’t stop feeling for Jensen. Because as much as Jensen didn’t want to admit it, and he wanted to ignore it, there was something between them.

Until Jensen either admitted it to himself and ditched Danneel, or by some miracle Jared got over the way he felt for Jensen, Jared knew that there was absolutely no hope for him. He’d let Jensen do whatever the hell he wanted with him, and then he’d regret it later when he was reminded that he wasn’t the only person in Jensen’s life. But he’d meant what he said – Jensen had to choose. And he would be appreciative if Jensen chose sooner rather than later.

**~~**

A few more days passed and Jared and Jensen continued to play their little game with each other. Jensen would even look at Jared sometimes while Danneel was kissing him, almost as if he was taunting Jared because he knew that Jared wanted this very thing. It made Jared want to just curl up in his room and not be bothered by anyone, but that would mean Jensen won. Jared wasn’t about to let Jensen win. 

As he was eating some of his gummy worms, Tom Welling – a man who rarely said two words to Jared since they got to the high school – approached him. Of course, Jared figured that Tom was ignoring him because they’d spent about a week together in college and it hadn’t ended all that well. “Hey Jared,” Tom smiled, scooting just a bit closer to Jared. “I was wondering if you’d be willing to share. I’m a closet gummy worm addict and I haven’t had one in weeks!” He chuckled slightly when Jared’s eyes widened in alarm, holding his hands up in a defensive position. “Yeah, yeah, I know – crazy, right? So, what do you say? Are you willing to spare one?”

“Of course you can have one of my gummy worms,” Jared smiled, offering the bag to Tom. “Just don’t tell anyone because then they’ll start thinking that they can have some, and I don’t generally share my candy. Especially not now since the world ended and it’s so hard to come by.” He chuckled again when Tom took a gummy and popped it into his mouth, mumbling around the worm. “I didn’t catch a word of that,” he smiled, giving his head a small shake.

Once he’d swallowed the candy, Tom smiled at Jared once more, licking his lips. “I said, your secret is safe with me,” he repeated now that the food wasn’t hindering his ability to speak. He smiled wider at Jared before he moved just a little bit closer, glancing around the room to make sure no one was listening. “So, would you want to hang out with me for a little while? Mike’s been driving me crazy, and I just can’t go back to our room right now. I mean, he’s a nice guy and all, but there’s only so much I can take – even from an old high school friend.”

Another small smile came to Jared’s lips before he nodded slowly. “Yeah…I’d like that,” he assured Tom, tucking his gummy worms back in his pocket so he could save them for later. Before he allowed Tom to lead him out of the cafeteria, he shot a glance towards Jensen, making sure he locked eyes with him as he walked away with Tom. Sure, he was only hanging out with Tom to make Jensen jealous, and from the look on his face, Jared’s plan was working. But Jensen had Danneel hanging around his neck, so Jared was going to have some fun too. He knew that it was wrong, but at this point, he just didn’t care. After all, it wasn’t like he was going to let Tom do anything with him. They were just hanging out. There was nothing wrong with that.

They really seemed to hit it off that first night they spent time together, so Jared and Tom started hanging out more and more over the next few days. Of course, Jared still had no intention of letting this go any further because he knew there was no hope for a future with Tom. If they’d had something, it would have blossomed in college – instead, it fizzled out and they didn’t speak to each other again until just a few days ago. But Jensen didn’t have to know that. And Jared could tell that Jensen was getting more and more jealous as the days went on and he was found with Tom practically attached to his hip.

Although he hadn’t meant to, Jared actually found himself flirting with Tom a little bit. They’d laugh and tease one another and Jared was having a great time. But when Tom would lean in a little too close and glance at Jared’s lips like he was waiting for Jared to go the extra few inches and close the gap for a kiss, Jared always turned him down. After all, he wasn’t going to lead Tom on – this wasn’t anything more than a friendship. And in times like these, you could never have too many friends. 

Today, Tom wasn’t playing around – he had his charm on full force and he was looking to get a little action. Before Jared even knew what was going on, Tom had swooped in and kissed him. “Mmm…” he moaned in surprise, gently pushing Tom away as he turned his head, a small frown forming on his lips.

“I’m sorry,” Tom quickly apologized. “I just…I’ve been wanting to do that for days, Jared. Look, I know that when we were in college, it didn’t exactly work out, but I think we can change that now.” Gently, he cupped Jared’s cheek, thumb brushing along his jaw line. “I think that we’re both here for a reason – to give us a second chance. That’s all I’m asking for Jared – just a chance to be with you and actually make it work this time. So, what do you say?”

This wasn’t what Jared had in mind when he started hanging out with Tom again. They hadn’t worked out in college for a reason. Jared hadn’t been willing to bottom for anyone, and Tom wouldn’t budge on that aspect of their relationship – he was a top. So, Tom broke it off with Jared when he couldn’t get sex, and they’d gone their separate ways. Now, Tom wanted to try again, but Jared knew that it would be doomed from the start. He wasn’t willing to change his ways in the bedroom and he was in love with Jensen – that was two strikes against Tom already. 

Sighing, Jared gave his head a small shake, frowning slightly at Tom. “I…I don’t think I can,” he whispered softly. “I haven’t changed my mind about the whole sex thing, so it’s still going to be an issue. I just don’t think we’d work.” His frown deepened as he continued, “But I want to be friends with you. I mean, I don’t think that just because we’re not together, that means we can’t be friends, right? Especially now that the world’s gone to shit, I could really use some friends right now.”

Jared hadn’t mentioned that he had feelings for someone else because there was no point. Jensen wasn’t making a move to be with him, so why should Tom know that they’d been together a couple of times? It seemed like the only time Jensen wanted anything to do with Jared was when he was drunk. Or when he wanted sex that he apparently couldn’t get from Danneel – Jared had been under the impression that woman would spread her legs for any man who asked. Or maybe that was her friend Genevieve – he had trouble telling them apart sometimes because they both annoyed the hell out of him.

It was easy to see that Tom was disappointed, though he tried to hide it. “Yeah, I get it,” Tom smiled softly, giving his head a small nod. “I would love to have you as a friend.” Of course, he wanted more from Jared, and maybe there was a chance he’d come around, so Tom was going to hold out for that. After all, he’d almost had Jared when they were in college, so he wasn’t going to get too down about this just yet. People changed their minds all of the time. And if he was hanging out with Tom all of the time, there was a chance Jared would do just that. “C’mon, let’s go see what the ladies are making for dinner. I’m starving.”

A small smile came to Jared’s lips when Tom grabbed his hand and dragged him back into the cafeteria. It seemed as though he was actually being serious about staying friends, so Jared was pleased about that. He really did enjoy spending time with Tom. It was just that he couldn’t give him what he wanted – couldn’t give him all of _himself_ – and that wasn’t a real relationship as far as Jared was concerned. Both parties had to be in it one hundred and ten percent, and if that wasn’t the case, it was time to break it off. 

As soon as Jared walked into the cafeteria, Jensen was laser focused on him. He and Tom had been spending an awful lot of time together and Jensen hated it. Of course, Jensen knew that he had no right to be jealous that Jared was showing someone else attention, but he couldn’t help it. Jensen wanted Jared for himself – Tom Welling didn’t deserve Jared. The guy was a total player! He probably only wanted to have sex with Jared and then leave him, and Jensen wasn’t going to let that happen.

Pushing himself out of his chair, Jensen started towards Jared, only to have Danneel grab his wrist. “Jenny, babe, what are you doing?” she asked, frowning at Jensen. “We’re in the middle of a card game here. And it’s almost your turn.” Her eyes traveled to the other players at the table – Christian, Steve, Misha, Vicky, and Genevieve – before she smiled back up at Jensen. “What’s so important that you have to leave in the middle of a game?”

Sometimes, Jensen really hated being in a relationship with Danneel. She was nosey and he very rarely got to do anything without running it by her first. But he wasn’t going to let her stop him now. He needed to get Jared away from Tom, and he needed to do it _now_. Shooting a glance towards Jared and then looking at Christian, Jensen quickly lied, “I, uh…forgot that I promised Jeffrey that I’d patrol the perimeter tonight. I should head out now before it gets too dark.”

“You’re going patrolling tonight? _Again_?” Danneel asked, a deep frown on her face when Jensen merely nodded. “And who are you going with? Because Christian is usually your patrolling buddy and he’s staying here at the table.” Her eyes fell on Christian briefly before she turned her attention back to Jensen. “You didn’t say anything about this to me earlier. Are you sure you have to do it tonight? Maybe you’re getting your days mixed up.”

Annoyed, Jensen answered, “Yes, Danneel, I have to do it tonight. My days are just fine.” Pulling his wrist away from her, he explained, “Christian wanted to stay in tonight, so I’m taking Jared. It’s fine. I’ll be fine.” Leaning in, he pressed a kiss to Danneel’s forehead, keeping his eyes glued on Christian and silently begging him to keep his secret. Of course, he knew that Christian wouldn’t nark on him – they were best friends, after all. And Christian knew how he felt about Jared. Not to mention that he saw the way Tom was trying to move in on Jared over the last few days. This was necessary. “Don’t wait up for me.”

With that, Jensen was walking towards Jared once more, not giving Danneel a chance to protest. He didn’t bother to try to hide his jealousy for Jared’s sake anymore. This whole game that they were playing ended _tonight_. “Jared,” Jensen started, cutting Tom off mid-sentence. For a minute, he thought that Jared wasn’t going to acknowledge him, but he finally did, Jensen releasing the breath he hadn’t even known he’d been holding. “Um…Jeffrey asked me if we could do a quick sweep around the school to make sure nothing’s lurking. Are you up for it?”

Instantly, Jared knew that Jensen was lying. They rarely ever went out this close to dark unless there was a problem. But Jared found it hard to say no to Jensen, so he merely nodded. “Yeah, I can help you,” he assured Jensen, not bothering to hide the glare he was giving him, letting Jensen know that he knew just what Jensen was up to. “Just give me a minute to grab my gear.”

As Jared stood, Tom moved to do the same, a wide smile on his lips. “I can go with you guys if you need an extra hand,” he offered, already moving to follow Jared and Jensen out of the cafeteria.

The last thing Jensen wanted was anyone – least of all Tom – tagging along. “No, it’s fine,” he assured him, giving him a tight smile. “Jared and I can handle it. Probably nothing out there to see anyway. Jeffrey just wants to be thorough, I guess. You can just chill out. Finish your dinner, or whatever. Danneel and the gang are playing cards over in the corner there. Why don’t you go ahead and take my spot?”

Before he gave Tom a chance to answer, Jensen was starting down the hallway, quickly grabbing Jared’s elbow and steering him away from where Jared kept his gear. “You’re not going to need that,” he assured Jared as he shoved the front doors open, dragging Jared out of the high school. It was time he showed Jared the cabin he and Christian had found.


	9. Chapter Nine

As they moved further and further into the woods, Jared couldn’t keep his mouth shut anymore. He didn’t know what Jensen was trying to pull here, but he didn’t appreciate it. “Why are you dragging me out here like this?” Jared asked, frowning at Jensen when he didn’t answer him right away. “I know that Jeffrey didn’t tell you to bring me out here so we could patrol the area. We don’t leave the school this close to dark unless it’s an emergency. And checking the ground isn’t an emergency since we have someone on watch all night.”

Still, Jensen didn’t answer him, causing Jared to get angry. Honestly, Jared had a hunch about why Jensen was dragging him out into the woods, and he wasn’t going to have any part of it. He wasn’t sure how much clearer he could be on the subject – if Jensen was with Danneel, he couldn’t have Jared. Apparently, something wasn’t clicking in his head and Jared needed to make Jensen understand it. As much as he wanted to be with Jensen, he wasn’t going to be the _other man_. 

Grabbing Jensen’s wrist, Jared quickly stopped, making sure Jensen did the same. “I’m tired of this,” he explained, a small frown on his lips. “Seriously Jensen, the only time you ever pay any attention to me is when you want sex. And I already told you that isn’t going to happen. Not as long as you’re with Danneel.” 

Just thinking about the last time they had sex made Jared a little angry. They didn’t even act like a real couple. Jensen made sure that they weren’t facing each other the last time, and he wouldn’t even jerk Jared off during. That excuse that he’d used – he didn’t know how – that was a crock of shit! There was no way Jared would believe that Jensen had never rubbed one off for himself, and doing it for someone else was no different. Well, eventually, you learned what the other person liked as opposed to what you liked, but other than that, it was pretty much the same. Jensen just hadn’t wanted to do it.

“Seriously, the last time we had sex, you didn’t even touch me!” he continued, speaking over him when Jensen tried to talk. “No, you gave me some lame excuse about not knowing how! And that’s bullshit! There’s no way you’re going to make me believe that you’ve never jerked off, and it’s the same damn thing! I mean, you could have just come out and said that you didn’t want to jack me off while we were having sex. But you lied, and it pisses me off!”

Okay, Jensen couldn’t deny the fact that he’d lied about that. It was true that he’d told Jared he didn’t know how just because he hadn’t wanted to. But that was different now. Jensen hadn’t wanted to admit to himself that he wanted Jared, and now he was ready. And if Jared wanted him to jerk him off, then he would. Not that he could come out and actually say that to Jared.

Instead, he had to just stand there and listen to Jared scream at him some more. “You know, sometimes I even wonder if what you’ve been telling me is true. For all I know, you only want to have sex with me when you can’t get it from your girlfriend, and you’re running around telling me that you have feelings for me because you think that it’ll get me to drop my pants, or something. Well, it won’t, so you can stop trying!” Scoffing, Jared yelled, “I’m not going to be your damn sex toy, Jensen. You have Danneel for that.”

Anger bubbled inside Jensen when Jared accused him of using him as a sex toy. That was the last thing Jensen had ever wanted to do! And how dare he suggest that Jensen was lying about how he felt. Jared wasn’t in his head! He didn’t know what Jensen was thinking, or how he was feeling! And he sure as hell didn’t know these days because he refused to talk to him! Grabbing Jared by the elbow, Jensen pulled him closer, glaring at the younger man. “You have no idea how I feel,” he assured him. “Don’t try to act like you have any clue what’s going on in my head.”

For a minute, Jared thought that he should probably apologize for being such a dick. But then he remembered Jensen’s words while they had been making out in that classroom, and he just couldn’t help himself. “Have you been drinking, Jen?” Jared asked, frowning at Jensen. “Because I know the only time you can actually show any true emotions towards me is when you’ve got a little buzz.” 

With that, Jared jerked his arm away from Jensen, giving his head a small shake. “If you’re not going to tell me what you dragged me out here for, then I’m going back,” Jared explained. Turning in the direction of the school, Jared shot over his shoulder, “At least there I know I have someone who actually wants to spend time with me because he cares about me.” It was a low blow, and Jared knew that, but he was pissed. And Jensen really knew how to push all of his buttons, so he figured that he might as well push some of Jensen’s too.

Jensen couldn’t help but scoff at Jared’s insane comment. “Who’s that? Tom?” he asked, shaking his head as he moved to follow Jared. “You know that he doesn’t care about you. He’s playing you, Jared. All he wants is to get in your pants and you’re going to go back there and make it so damn easy for him!” Jensen hated the idea of Tom being with Jared. The last person who deserved to be with someone as wonderful as Jared was Tom fucking Welling! And Jensen wasn’t going to stand back and let it happen. No way in Hell. 

When Jensen grabbed his arm to keep him from moving, Jared quickly rounded on him, shaking him off once more. “Oh yeah?” he asked, frowning at Jensen. “And what do _you_ want from me?” As far as Jared was concerned, all Jensen wanted from him was a good fuck, and nothing more. After all, he had already made it pretty damn clear that he didn’t want to be in a real relationship with him, so the only thing left was a sexual one, and Jared wasn’t into that sort of thing. At least Tom had offered him something more, even if he wasn’t being truthful about it. Jared could indulge for a few more days before that blew up in his face too.

This wasn’t the time or place for this conversation. They needed to get to the cottage, which meant Jared needed to stop stalling. “Just come with me,” Jensen suggested, making it sound more like a command in hopes that Jared would do as he was told. “I’ll explain everything to you, but not here. Not where walkers could come out of the trees and eat us both alive, okay? I promise that I’ll answer your damn questions, but you have to do this for me first.”

Although Jared didn’t want to admit it, Jensen had a point. Walkers were all over the place in these woods, and they could come out at any minute. The last thing they needed was to get caught in the middle of a fight. “Fine,” he answered, gesturing for Jensen to move. “Lead the way. But you better not be lying to me. I want answers.” As soon as Jensen started walking again, Jared followed, wondering if he was doing the right thing or if he was letting his heart lead him down the wrong path.

A few walkers came out from the trees along the way and tried to attack, but Jensen killed them before they managed to even make a sound. It was like he had been waiting for them to come around, or something. Jared couldn’t help but be amazed by his quick reflexes and how swiftly he took down the geeks. Honestly, Jensen had to be one of the most efficient killers he had ever seen. Rarely did he ever let the walkers make a noise if he could help it, and Jared was definitely impressed. It only added to his appeal, although Jared wished that it didn’t. There were already enough things that added to Jensen’s appeal – he didn’t need anything else.

Finally, they came to a small cottage buried in the woods, Jensen stopping at the door and turning the knob. Once the door was open, he quickly shoved Jared inside, following after him before he closed and locked the door. Jared frowned as he looked around the place, not sure why they were there. “What is this place?” he asked, finally turning his attention back to Jensen. “Why’d you bring me here?”

“Christian and I found it one day while we were patrolling the area,” Jensen explained, a small smile on his lips as he watched Jared glance around the living room area. “It’s a pretty sweet little place. There’s electricity, so you can watch DVDs – there are a couple in the entertainment center over there. But the best part about this place – hot water. You can get a shower and actually have hot water here – it’s awesome. The water pressure isn’t too bad either.” Clearing his throat, Jensen moved to take a seat on the couch. “Chris and I cleared it out and he thought that it would be a good place to go when we wanted some alone time. He and Steve come up here a lot, so Christian wants to keep it a secret from anyone else.”

Out of the whole explanation, all Jared could hear running through his head right now was hot water. There was hot water here and Jensen and Christian were keeping it from the rest of the group?! That was just mean! As he gave himself a minute to let the rest of what Jensen said sink in, Jared frowned at him, not sure why he now knew of this nifty little place.

Of course, it didn’t take a genius to figure out why Christian wanted to keep it a secret. One look at the two of them and you could tell that they were together – you had to be blind not to see the chemistry there. Then again, maybe Jared only saw it because he paid attention – someone like Jensen probably had no clue that the two of them were in a relationship. So he figured that they came up here to be alone, alright. They came up here to have sex without the fear of being caught. And that’s exactly what Jared thought Jensen was doing right now.

But he was going to give him the benefit of the doubt, he supposed. After all, he hadn’t thrown Jared against a wall and attacked his lips yet, so maybe he was wrong. Maybe he was just being a genuine friend and he wanted to let Jared get a hot shower. Still, he needed to know for sure. “So, if you were supposed to keep it a secret, then why are you telling me?” Jared asked, biting into his bottom lip as he turned towards the bathroom so Jensen couldn’t see his expression. “I hope you don’t think that just because this place gives me the option of a hot shower that everything’s okay between us and I’m going to spread my legs for you.” Pausing a moment, Jared assured Jensen, “Because I’m not. We can be friends, but I’m not going to let you have sex with me until I know you’re breaking up with Danneel.”

It was a hard thing for Jared to do, but he knew it was necessary. Jensen needed to be with him if he wanted to, and only him. Sure, he hated not being able to kiss and have sex with Jensen, but he knew it was wrong of him to allow Jensen to cheat on Danneel. And it was no secret that he didn’t like Danneel, but no one deserved to be cheated on. Jared was just upset that Jensen didn’t care about him enough to leave her so they could be together. There was potential here for them to have something great, but Jensen just couldn’t let go of the past.

And his relationship with Danneel was definitely the past. Jared – and almost everyone else at the high school – could see that Jensen wasn’t into Danneel anymore. He spent all of his time staring at Jared and he all but ignored Danneel. Unless he was trying to make Jared jealous; then Danneel was the most interesting person in the room. Not to mention that Jensen always trapped Jared places and tried to plant one on him. It was so obvious that he wanted nothing more than to be with Jared, but he was so damn scared to let other people know he was interested in another man that he wasn’t willing to let go of his beard!

Although his original plan had involved bringing Jared here and fucking his brains out, Jensen knew that wasn’t going to happen now. After everything that he’d said in the woods, Jensen wasn’t even sure that he _wanted_ to have sex with Jared right now. Well, that was a lie – but it wasn’t in the same sense as he’d wanted to have sex with him when he first thought up this plan. It was clear now what Jared thought of him and Jensen didn’t like it. 

Not that he could blame Jared. Hell, he’d been right about everything he’d said. Jensen had all but treated him like a sex toy when they’d been together. And before that, he’d broken his heart and couldn’t even remember the actual act of sex that went on because he had been too drunk. In all honesty, the way Jensen had treated Jared during their previous encounters hadn’t been something that he was proud of. But he could make it better. Starting with letting him get a shower and just cool off. Maybe they could watch a movie after and just spend some actual time together that didn’t involve them being naked.

That didn’t mean he had to like it though. More than anything, he would have loved to go in there with Jared and enjoy the hot water with him, but he wasn’t going to push his luck. At least that was the plan. When Jared actually got in there, he might not be able to help himself. But he was going to try. After all, Jared had already assured him that there was no way they could be together until he dumped Danneel, and he wasn’t ready for that yet. “Honestly, that was the plan when I dragged you out here,” Jensen explained, finally answering Jared’s question. “I was gonna drag you into that shower and fuck you before I let you enjoy the hot water, but not anymore. You’ve made it pretty damn clear that you don’t want to be with me until I break up with Danneel, and I’m not ready for that right now. So…I’ll just wait out here and let you shower. Maybe we can catch a movie or something when you’re done.”

Hearing Jensen explain his original plan got Jared all hot and bothered. He couldn’t help it! The thought of having Jensen shove him into the shower and just take him was fucking hot! It sounded like something that should be in a damn porno movie, or something! And dammit, he didn’t want to be thinking about this shit, but he just couldn’t stop himself. “Um…thanks,” he muttered, quickly turning towards the bathroom once more and stepping inside, closing the door behind himself. He thought about locking it for a minute, but then decided against it. 

As much as he hated himself for thinking about it, he kind of wanted Jensen to make nice on his original plan. Now that it was in his head, it wasn’t going anywhere and it was all Jensen’s fault! Jared didn’t want to feel this way – this was the last thing he wanted to feel, but it was pointless to try to deny it. Ignoring it didn’t help him either, so he was left with this war waging between his brain and his body. His body wanted Jensen – _badly_ – but his brain was having trouble with Jensen cheating on Danneel with him. There was just no happy medium with the man!

He didn’t want to think about all of this right now though. Not when there was a shower two feet away from him with hot water! Turning the nozzles, Jared waited for the water to heat up, quickly stripping out of his clothing and stepping under the hot spray. God, it felt amazing! It was like Heaven. Jared thought that he’d never get to experience the wonderful sensation of having hot water cascade down his body again, but Jensen had given that to him by showing him this cottage. Jared just hoped that he didn’t get in trouble with Christian for telling Jared it was here.

Jared couldn’t help the small sounds of pleasure that were falling from his lips as he just stood under the spray. It just felt too good. Surely, he had to be dreaming. But when he pinched himself it hurt, so this wasn’t a dream. It was just a damn miracle.

The plan to stay away from Jared and not bother him while he was in the shower was a lot harder to keep when Jensen could hear those damn moans coming from the bathroom. It was like Jared was doing it on purpose – begging him to come into the bathroom without actually saying the words. He tried – really he did – to stay in his chair, but those noises reminded him so much of the time he’d had Jared pressed against a tree, and he just couldn’t help himself. 

Quickly, Jensen shoved himself out of the chair, stripping out of his shirt on the way to the bathroom. As he opened the door with one hand, he used his other to undo the button and zipper of his jeans, shucking those and his socks in one fell swoop as soon as he stepped through the door, closing it softly behind him so he didn’t alert Jared to his presence. Not that he really had to worry about that – Jared seemed pretty lost in the amazing feeling of the shower.

His boxers were the last thing to go, Jensen carelessly tossing them into the pile of clothes Jared had already left on the floor. With that, he gripped the shower curtain and yanked it open, stepping inside much to Jared’s protests and closing it back up behind him. Not allowing Jared’s arguments to stop him from his mission, Jensen gripped Jared’s face in both hands and crushed their lips together, effectively stopping Jared from yelling at him.

When the kiss broke, both men were panting, but at least it got Jared to shut up. It was Jensen’s turn to speak. “You’re not a sex toy,” he assured Jared, giving his head a small shake. “And I’m sorry I made you feel that way. It wasn’t my intention. It’s just…I’m new to this whole thing, and I don’t always make the right choices. Like…not breaking up with Danneel. I should have done that a long time ago. Ever since I saw you again in that gun shop, it’s been different between me and Danneel, and I know that’s because I want to be with you. So…when we go back, I’m done with her – it’s over. But I don’t want to wait for that to be with you.” Leaning in, Jensen brushed his lips against Jared’s throat, moaning softly. “Let me be with you, Jay. Please?”

At first, when Jensen stepped into the shower, Jared had only been protesting because he was trying to cover up the fear he’d initially felt. Being in a place like this and actually having some semblance of his old life could make it easy for him to forget that there was an apocalypse going on around them. So when Jensen opened that curtain, there had been the initial fear that geeks had gotten in here and he was under attack. However, when he saw that it was just Jensen, he had to protest because that was what was expected of him; especially after his little speech in the living room a few minutes ago.

Of course, Jensen wasn’t having any of it, once again taking control and just planting one on him. Damn, he really needed to stop doing that! And then he added in that little speech and there was no way Jared could turn him away. So much for his earlier conversations and his assurances that he wasn’t going to start something up with Jensen until he was done with Danneel. Apparently, Jensen had made a liar out of him because now all he could do was nod as he shoved Jensen against the opposite end of the shower, kissing him roughly to let him know that he wanted this too.

A deep groan escaped Jensen when Jared kissed him again, his hands gripping Jared’s biceps and switching their positions so that Jared was pressed against the shower wall instead. Slowly, he ground his hips against Jared’s, another moan escaping both himself and Jared to be swallowed up in the kiss. He wasn’t going to let this be like every other time they’d been together – this time was going to be different. _Better_. Jensen was going to make sure that he let Jared know just how much he meant to him. And he was going to make sure that he knew he wasn’t just a sex toy.

As soon as Jared was pressed against the wall, he wrapped his arms around Jensen’s shoulders, hands combing through Jensen’s damp, short-cropped hair as he pulled Jensen impossibly closer. He wanted to believe everything Jensen said, but he was going to make sure he was prepared for anything. Jared wasn’t going to let this continue if he thought for one second this time wasn’t going to be different. Just because he wanted this probably more than he’d ever wanted anything else in his entire life didn’t mean he was going to let Jensen treat him like a plaything. 

The slow grind of his hips against Jared’s was amazing. He hadn’t realized just how much he’d enjoyed this until it was taken away from him. Now, he was like a starving man and he was going to feast while he could. Foreplay was a big part of showing someone just how much they meant to you as far as Jensen was concerned, so he wanted to make it as good for Jared as he possibly could. Of course, he didn’t want to spend too much time on it because he wasn’t sure how long they were going to have hot water. And nothing killed a stiffy faster than a jolt of freezing cold water.

Unfortunately, Jared seemed to have other ideas. “Jen,” he breathed against Jensen’s ear, nipping at the lobe. “C’mon, quit teasin’ me. I thought you said you wanted to be with me right now.” More than anything, Jared just wanted to feel Jensen inside him. They’d never bothered with foreplay before, so Jared wasn’t sure why Jensen was wasting his time with it now. When he moved to turn so that he was facing the wall, Jensen quickly stopped him, a small frown coming to Jared’s lips. “I-I thought you wanted to do this.”

“I do,” Jensen quickly assured Jared. “God, I want to so badly. You have no idea. But not like that. I-I want you to be facing me.” Sure, Jensen wasn’t exactly versed in this sort of thing – wasn’t even sure he could have sex with a man while they faced each other – but he sure as hell wanted to try it. Having Jared’s back facing him wasn’t as personal as being able to see his face. And while the back of Jared’s head wasn’t the worst view in the world, Jensen definitely preferred to see his face.

Face-to-face – that was something that he and Jensen hadn’t done since the night Jensen had gotten drunk and had sex with Jared ten years ago. Not that Jared wasn’t all for it, but he just didn’t understand why Jensen wanted to look at him now when the last time, he’d all but shoved his face into the tree in his haste to get at him. This was just a little weird. But Jared wasn’t going to protest. After all, he wanted this too. “Uh…y-yeah, okay,” he smiled, grabbing the soap and lathering up his hands. 

Once he felt there was enough soap on his fingers, Jared reached back with one hand, pushing his index finger past the tight ring of muscle and wiggling it a little bit in an attempt to stretch himself for Jensen’s cock. He hadn’t had sex since the day against the tree, and that had been a while. Without preparation, there was a chance that Jared could tear, and he didn’t need that happening. That would have been an awkward problem to explain to Sandy when she saw the blood on his boxers.

Watching Jared finger himself open was probably one of the hottest things Jensen had ever seen. Seriously, he’d been all geared up to scissor his fingers inside Jared and get him ready for the later festivities, but he sure as hell wasn’t going to stop this. His eyes darted back and forth between Jared’s face and his fingers, Jensen not really sure which was hotter. When Jared added the second finger, Jensen decided that watching Jared’s face was definitely better because he was biting his lip and scrunching his face up in a mix of pain and pleasure, and he was just beautiful.

Unable to keep his lips to himself, Jensen leaned in and mouthed along Jared’s jaw, moaning softly before he captured Jared’s lips in a deep, passionate kiss. His tongue slipped into Jared’s mouth, mapping out the familiar cavern as another moan slipped free from Jensen. Jared had this unique flavor that Jensen had trouble getting enough of. He couldn’t help it – Jared was addictive! Slowly, his hands slid down Jared’s abdomen, feeling the muscles rippling beneath his palms as he gripped Jared’s hips, pulling him closer so that he could grind his cock into Jared a little harder, letting Jared know how much of an affect he was having on him right now. 

When Jared felt that he was stretched enough, he pulled his hand away from himself, wrapping his arms around Jensen’s shoulders and allowing the water to rinse away the soap so he could get better leverage when he gripped Jensen’s skin. “God,” he breathed softly, feeling how hard Jensen was as he ground himself against Jared. “So fucking hard for me, Jen. Gonna do something about it, or are you just gonna tease me all day?” Smirking, he nipped at Jensen’s luscious bottom lip as he explained, “Water’s not gonna stay hot forever, Jen.”

Without replying, Jensen gripped Jared’s thigh, jerking his leg up to wrap around his hip. A small smile came to his lips at the surprised noise that escaped from Jared’s throat, Jensen pressing their foreheads together before he explained, “ _Definitely_ gonna do something about it, baby.” He was acting a lot more confident than he actually felt right now. Honestly, Jensen was just winging it here – he had no clue if he was doing this right. Jensen was just going off the hope that if he did something wrong, Jared would let him know before he managed to do any real damage.

This was it. Jared was finally going to get what he wanted again after the brief reprieve that they’d been through and he could barely hide his excitement, cock twitching at the mere thought of having Jensen inside him again. His fingers gripped at Jensen’s shoulders tightly, keeping him pressed against his body so there was no space between them. Space meant there was a chance he could get away, and Jared wasn’t going to allow that.

Not that he thought Jensen was going to try to bolt, but he wasn’t going to take any chances. After all, it wouldn’t be the first time they started to get hot and heavy and Jensen dropped a bomb on him that just shattered the mood. Jared was even ready to keep Jensen quiet if he had to because there was nothing that was going to stop him from having this moment. Not when they were so close to finally achieving it!

More small moans broke from Jensen as he stroked his dick, using the water as lube to make sure it was slick. Although Jared had done a good job of opening himself up, Jensen wasn’t going to run the risk of hurting him. Besides, there was nothing wrong with a little extra precaution. He then gripped the base of his dick and positioned himself at Jared’s entrance, leaning in and latching onto Jared’s pulse point as he slowly pushed himself past the ring of muscle, another deep groan escaping him as he was encased in Jared’s tight heat.

For a few moments, Jensen stood still, not wanting to rush this. Jared was squirming around like a damn worm, which wasn’t helping matters, but Jensen was determined not to cheapen the moment. He finally realized how much he wanted to be with Jared to the point that he was willing to break up with Danneel, and there was no damn way he was going to rush through this like he’d done in their previous encounters. No, he was taking this as slowly as he wanted to and if Jared had a problem with it, that was just too bad.

Jared had no idea what Jensen was waiting for, but he wasn’t happy about it. Jensen had gotten him all worked up by giving him a damn play-by-play of his plans when he dragged him from the high school and now he was moving like a grandpa and taking this way too slow. Sure, Jared could appreciate romance when he wasn’t so hard he could cut glass, but when he was this hard, it was just annoying. 

“What are you waiting for?” he breathed into Jensen’s ear, nipping at the lobe once more. “M’not gonna break. You can move, Jen. Please…move? Wanna feel you. Got me all worked up with your little speech and I just…want you so bad. Please?” Jared knew that he was begging, but at this point, he sure as hell wasn’t above it.

A small chuckle escaped Jensen as he gazed fondly into Jared’s eyes, giving his head a small shake. “You’re a pushy little bottom, aren’t you?” he teased before he leaned in and crushed his lips against Jared’s once more. As he kissed Jared, he braced himself with his right hand, left hand sliding up Jared's side, snaking around his back, fingers biting lightly into his lover's smooth, perfect skin. Slowly, he started moving, pulling almost all the way out of Jared, leaving just the tip inside before just as slowly pushing back in.

Small moans and groans filled the room as they continued to make love, Jensen gradually picking up the pace with each thrust, setting a steady rhythm. Jared's fingertips bit into Jensen's biceps where he was holding him – probably leaving bruises as his lips once again claimed Jensen's in a heated, passionate kiss, their tongues tangling once more. Jensen's left hand slid around from Jared's back, teasing his lover's peaked nipple, pinching the nub lightly before his hand slid downward, moving over smooth, baby soft skin, feeling Jared's muscles rippling under his touch.

His fingers wrapped around Jared's hard, leaking shaft once he reached his destination, stroking Jared in time with his thrusts. Jensen then angled his hips, snapping forward, a smile spreading across his features when Jared's lips parted, his eyes squeezing tightly closed, fingers biting harder into his flesh, letting Jensen know he had hit that sweet spot inside his lover he had been aiming for. With each thrust thereafter, he made sure to hit Jared's prostate, wanting to make it as pleasurable as possible for him.

Jared could feel his orgasm coming, his whole body growing somewhat tense. "Jensen, babe, gonna cum," he warned, pushing back against Jensen's own hips, gasping as he felt heat pooling in his lower belly. His hands balled into tighter fists then, balls drawing up close to his body before the first ribbon of cum shot out of his dick, coating Jensen's hand and splashing against Jared's stomach before the water washed it down the drain.

When he felt Jared's body tensing, Jensen knew he was about to come. After a few more thrusts, he felt Jared's release wetting his hand. Giving a few more thrusts, Jensen came inside Jared, moaning as he did, head tilting forward, stifling the louder noises against Jared's shoulder. 

The water was starting to get cold, so unfortunately, they couldn’t stay in here, although that’s exactly what Jensen wanted. Slowly, he pulled away from Jared, glad that the water had washed away the evidence of their orgasms so they wouldn’t have to stay in the chilling water any longer. He turned the knobs off and grabbed the towel that Jared had grabbed for himself, quickly drying off with it before handing it back to Jared. “I think there’s a washing machine in here if you want to wash your clothes. I’m tossing mine in.”

Receiving the nod from Jared and that one hundred watt smile that he always flashed him, Jensen smirked right back, shaking his head as he gathered up Jared’s clothing and headed towards the washing machine he was sure he’d seen. He was becoming a domesticated man already – it was actually kind of cute. Especially since they were able to find each other and be _somewhat_ happy in this fucked up life. 

On his way back out to the living room, Jensen detoured into the bedroom, grabbing the comforter off the bed so he and Jared could have something to cover up with while they waited for their clothes to be ready. He openly chuckled when he read the note Christian left for him on the headboard:

_Jensen,_

_If you’re here with Jared, and you’re planning a little roll in the sack, please remember to wash the sheets when you are finished. There’s plenty of detergent in the laundry room. Steve and I do not want to touch any fluid that may have come out of yours or Jared’s bodies. No offense._

_Chris_

Seriously, the way Christian worded things sometimes was just a little bit ridiculous. Still, it made for a good laugh, so Jensen could appreciate that. Once he had the comforter in hand, he made his way out to the living room, arms wrapping around Jared’s waist when he was close enough to touch. His lips pressed against Jared’s shoulder before he turned his attention to the movies in his lover’s hands. They were all pretty old, but it was their only option, so they had to pick one.

After little debate, they decided to watch one of the classics – _Psycho_. Both men had already seen it at one point in their lives, but it didn’t really matter to either of them. They didn’t plan on actually paying attention to the movie. Jensen had them under the blanket in no time, practically pulling Jared into his lap as he kissed him thoroughly again, committing every inch of Jared’s mouth to memory. “Mmm…can’t even tell you how happy I am right now,” Jensen whispered against Jared’s lips when the kiss broke. “Being with you like this just feels… _right._ I mean, I know we have a lot to improve on, but I think we can definitely make this work. Danneel’s not gonna take it well, but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

At the mention of Danneel, Jared frowned slightly, licking his lips. He’d given this topic a lot of thought in the few minutes he’d been alone in the shower, and he realized that maybe he’d been wrong. “I know we can make this work,” he assured him, smiling softly at Jensen. “But, uh, listen…I was thinking about you breaking up with Danneel, and maybe it’s not such a good idea. I mean, I know that you’re not ready for everyone to know your true feelings for me, and it would be wrong of me to ask you to come out when you’re not comfortable with it.”

Before Jensen could say anything on the matter, Jared continued, “I’m not saying that I like the idea of it, but I think that you should stay with Danneel. Just to keep up appearances, you know? And then when you’re ready, you can make the decision to officially break up with her and let everyone know that you’re with me. But that doesn’t mean that you have to actually kiss her, or even touch her for that matter. Just…you know, date her, I guess.”

It was a hard decision for Jared to make – Jensen could see that. And the fact that he was willing to make it so Jensen felt more comfortable was amazing. Jared was really an awesome guy in every sense of the word. Reaching up, he gripped Jared’s hair and pulled him into a deep kiss, tongue working its magic and making Jared melt like butter. “I won’t even look at her unless I have to,” Jensen assured Jared, capturing his lips once more when Jared smiled at him. 

With everything that had happened since they left the high school, it was pitch black outside, and there was no way either one of them was going to leave this cottage until the sun came up and they could see what they were doing. So, they stayed on the couch watching old movies until they fell asleep, wrapped up in one another’s bodies so tightly that a spectator wouldn’t have been able to tell where one of them ended and the other began.

**~~**

As the sky grew darker and darker, Danneel was getting more and more worried about where Jensen was. “He’s been gone for hours!” she shrieked to Christian who didn’t seem as worried as he should have been considering that Jensen was his best friend and partner on the police force before the dead started rising. “Someone should go out and look for him, dammit! What if he’s hurt? Or-Or holed up somewhere hiding from walkers?! We can’t just leave him out there all night, Chris!”

Christian wanted to tell Danneel to put a sock in it, but he managed to refrain. He’d gone to bed about an hour earlier, planning on curling up with Steve and just getting some rest, but Danneel had prevented him from doing that. Instead of being wrapped around Steve right now, he was being yelled at by his best friend’s soon-to-be ex – hopefully, anyway – while she rifled through his things and tossed articles of clothing at him, insisting that he go find Jensen. 

If he hadn’t already known where Jensen was, he would have been out there in a heartbeat. But he knew Jensen was headed towards the cottage, and with the tension that had been between Jensen and Jared over the last few days, Christian wasn’t surprised that they were pulling an all-nighter. Before he left, Jensen had been acting very possessive, just wanting to get Jared away from Tom because Jensen didn’t want him to be with anyone else. Finally, seeing Jared with another man lit a fire under Jensen’s ass and he was going after what he wanted. 

Of course, he couldn’t tell Danneel that, so he was forced to indulge in her little game. “Danneel, I’m not going out there right now,” he assured her, throwing the clothing she’d tossed at him into a pile on the floor. Even if he is out there, me going after him isn’t going to make a difference. It’s dark out there. And a search and rescue in the dark could lead to someone else being potentially harmed, and Jeffrey’s not gonna go for it. So, if he’s not back by tomorrow afternoon, we’ll go out looking for him. But knowing Jensen, he just went a little too far out and he couldn’t make it back to camp in time. He’s probably holed up in an old tent or something.”

When Danneel tried to speak again – probably to protest – Christian quickly stopped her. “He’s fine. Jensen’s my best friend – if something happened to him, I would have known about it, okay? Besides, he’s with Jared – they’re gonna be back no later than tomorrow afternoon and then we’ll all laugh about this. Now, get out so I can go to bed.”

A loud scoff escaped Danneel’s lips when Christian reminded her that Jensen was with Jared. “Yeah, and that’s the problem I’m having!” she confessed. “You think I don’t see the way Jared looks at Jensen? I’m not a fucking idiot! Why he would go out so close to dark with someone who stares at him like that is way beyond me. For all we know, Jared could be holding Jensen down and raping him right now! Or he’s already done the deed and he just put a bullet in Jensen’s head. I mean, it’s not like he couldn’t come back here and say they were attacked! Jared’s a big guy. Sure, Jensen’s not weak or anything, but he could have been caught off guard. We need to find him!”

Now, not only was Christian pissed, but Danneel had gotten Steve riled up too. Angrily, Steve shot up from his spot on the floor, glaring at Danneel. “You think that just because Jared’s gay he would lure Jensen out into the woods this close to dark, rape him, and then kill him?” Steve asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he watched Danneel’s face turn a slight shade of pink. “Jared’s my friend, so I’d suggest that you watch your mouth when you’re talking about him. He’s a good man and he wouldn’t hurt anyone. You’d know that if you took five seconds to get to know him. I mean seriously, the kid even hates killing walkers! He’d surely never hurt another human being!”

Without giving Danneel a chance to protest, Steve ordered, “You need to leave. It’s been a long day and I’m tired. Jensen’s fine and he’ll be back tomorrow. So the best thing you can do right now is get some sleep and wait it out.” 

Much to Christian’s surprise, Danneel listened. Sure, she was huffy and she slammed the door, but at least she was gone. A wide smile came to his lips as he crawled over to where Steve was taking his position back on the floor. “You’re so fucking sexy when you get all authoritative on people,” he purred, lips closing over Steve’s pulse point and sucking softly, causing a moan to fall from Steve’s lips.

His hands gripped Christian’s shaggy hair, holding his head in place. “Yeah, you think so?” he asked, smiling softly when Steve nipped at his skin. “Maybe you should show me how sexy I am, Chris.” Another deep moan escaped him when Christian pushed him onto his back, blanketing his body with his own as he crushed their lips together. At least now that Danneel was gone, he and Christian could cuddle without having to worry about being interrupted.

**~~**

Just down the hall, Katie was attempting to soothe a near hysterical Alona after she’d had one of her nightmares. She had them a lot – seeing your parents and siblings being ripped apart right in front of you tended to have a lasting effect. Katie helped with what she could, but sometimes it was just too overwhelming for Alona and all Katie could do was hold her and try to get her to fall back asleep.

Tonight was one of those nights. It didn’t help that Alona had overheard Danneel screaming about needing to go find Jensen, either. Jensen had been the one who saved Alona when her family had been ripped away from her. He’d been the one to pull the trigger and kill the walker that had been inches away from tearing into her flesh. And he had been the one to put a bullet in her family’s heads before they reanimated. So the idea of losing Jensen was just too much for her.

“It’s okay, honey,” Katie whispered into Alona’s ear, combing her fingers through Alona’s hair as she held her close to her chest. “Christian and Steve don’t think it’s anything to worry about. Jensen has Jared with him and they’re probably fine.” Pulling back so she could cup Alona’s face in her hands, eyes locking, Katie assured her, “They’re going to be back tomorrow, and they’re going to be just fine.” And if they weren’t, well, Katie would deal with that if the time came that she needed to.

Although Alona wasn’t completely convinced that Jensen wasn’t being eaten by walkers or lying dead with a bullet through his skull, she was willing to believe what her girlfriend said until she was proven otherwise. “Okay,” she whispered, sniffling softly as Katie wiped the tears from her cheeks where they were drying. Again, she sniffled as she gripped one of Katie’s hands. “Just hold me tonight. Please?”

Confident that she’d gotten Alona to a point where she could actually get some rest, Katie quickly nodded, smiling at Alona. “Of course I will,” she answered, allowing Alona to maneuver them both so that her front was pressed against Alona’s back and her arm was wrapped tightly around Alona’s waist, Alona keeping their fingers laced together. She didn’t fall asleep until she was one hundred percent sure that Alona had drifted off, Katie following her into slumber quickly after.


	10. Chapter Ten

Jensen wasn’t happy. He’d just told Jared how he felt about him and they were planning on making it work – this should have been the happiest day of his life, but it wasn’t. As soon as he and Jared walked into the high school, Danneel was on his case, demanding to know what happened to him and where he had been all night. Seriously, he’d just been gone for the night, he would think that she’d show a little more concern. No, instead she was yelling at him like he’d done something wrong by going out and trying to keep the perimeter secure. Or, well, at least that’s what she thought he’d been doing, anyway.

“Danneel, I already told you what happened,” he argued, frowning at her. “Jared and I were attacked by a couple of walkers. We took them down, but then a herd came along and we had to hide. So we found an old cabin that was falling apart and we hid in there until morning when the herd was gone.” That was the story he and Jared had cooked up anyway. But instead of the cabin being a dilapidated little building in the middle of nowhere, it was a cottage with electricity and hot water, and he and Jared hadn’t actually been attacked by a herd of walkers. Of course, there was no need for Danneel to know that. “I would have called, but we lost all cell phone reception months ago,” he sarcastically griped, rolling his eyes a little.

A deep frown came to Danneel’s lips when Jensen got sarcastic with her. That wasn’t something Jensen really did – sarcasm wasn’t his thing. That was something that Jared was known for. Obviously, they’d been hanging out together too much and Danneel was determined to put an end to it. “Well, why don’t you come to our room and get some sleep?” she suggested, taking Jensen’s hand in her own. “I’m sure you didn’t get much last night with the herd of walkers, and I was up worrying about you, so I didn’t sleep either.”

Actually, Jensen had slept just fine. Much better than he had in months, really. And he knew that Jared had everything to do with that. “I’m not tired,” Jensen argued, pulling his hand away from Danneel’s. He didn’t know what he wanted to do really, but he knew that he didn’t want to go to bed with her. After last night, Jensen knew that he wasn’t ever going to get what he needed – what he wanted – from Danneel. Jared was the only one who could give him that now.

He should just break up with her. Jensen did feel kind of bad for leading her on like this, but Jared had been right – he wasn’t ready to let the whole group know that he was with Jared. Hell, he was still trying to get used to the fact that he was with another man. Having more people know would just complicate the whole situation and their relationship was fragile enough. Christian and Steve were the only ones who needed to know about this. And maybe Sandy if Jared decided to tell her. Other than that, it was no one’s business. 

Another deep frown came to Danneel’s lips when Jensen just shook out of her grasp like that. Something was wrong with him and she wanted to know what it was. Of course, she had a feeling it had something to do with Jared, but she couldn’t for the life of her figure out what it was. Surely, there wasn’t anything going on between the two of them. Jensen was the straightest man she knew, so there was no way he was converting now. After all, Danneel knew his family – Jensen would never be with a man! Not the way he was raised. “What’s wrong with you?” she asked, eyes narrowing at him. “I want to go to sleep Jensen. And I want you to come with me.”

Seeing Tom walk up to Jared drew Jensen’s attention away from Danneel. That damn asshole was still trying to get with Jared and Jensen couldn’t stand it. And he sure as hell wasn’t just going to sit here and watch it happen. He and Jared might not be able to leave the high school, but there were plenty of rooms they could sneak off to where no one would be able to find them. “Yeah well, you can’t always get what you want, Dani,” Jensen mumbled, moving away from her and towards Jared.

At Jensen’s words, Danneel’s eyes grew wide. She couldn’t believe that he’d just said that to her. “Jensen!” she called after him, frowning when she saw that he was moving towards Jared. Fucking Jared – he was ruining her life! “Where are you going?!” When she didn’t get an answer, she groaned in frustration and headed over to where Genevieve was standing, frowning deeply at her friend. “I thought you were going to try to get into Jared’s pants,” she reminded her. “Because it looks like he still has all of his attention on my boyfriend and none on you.”

Now it was Genevieve’s turn to frown, glaring at Danneel. “Well, I was going to, but Tom beat me to it. From what I can tell, he’s trying hard to get with Jared, but Jared is playing hard to get.” She smiled when Danneel all but gaped at her in surprise. “Yeah, I know; I was surprised when I learned he liked men, too. I didn’t peg him for the type. Anyway, if he wants to take a shot at Jared, then I figure I’ll let him. I mean, when he’s done trying and he gets bored, then I’ll make my move. So don’t blame me if his attention is on Jensen because I haven’t tried to get it on me, yet.” Smiling once more, she added, “Trust me, when I try to get him focused on me, you’ll know it.”

Although she had never doubted Genevieve’s abilities before, Danneel just wasn’t sure she could get Jared’s attention. Clearly, Jared was into men. Practically the only woman he spoke to in this high school was Sandy, and that was only because they had history. And it seemed as though Jared wasn’t interested in anyone other than Jensen, much to Danneel’s annoyance. She figured she was just going to have to suck it up, though. After all, there was no way Jensen would cheat on her. She had already said that – and she believed it. That wasn’t the kind of man Jensen was.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the cafeteria, Jensen had just reached Jared, glaring at Tom as he stepped up behind Jared, standing almost close enough to touch, though not taking that last step that would put their bodies in contact. “Hey Jay, can I talk to you for a minute?” Jensen asked, still glaring at Tom. The sooner he got Jared away from this scum bag the better. Jensen could practically see the want in Tom’s eyes. And the cocky bastard probably thought he had this one in the bag. Fucking idiot. Didn’t he know that Jared belonged to Jensen?!

Jared could _feel_ the tension rolling off Jensen in waves. Clearly, he still harbored some jealousy that Jared and Tom still spoke. Good – Jared kind of liked that. “Uh…yeah,” he answered, smiling softly at Tom before he excused himself, following Jensen out of the cafeteria. When they were out of earshot, Jared frowned softly as he asked, “Jen, what’s wrong? Is it Tom? Because you know there’s nothing going on between us. I’m with you. Even if we can’t, you know, tell anyone that. I’d never be with him, anyway. We tried it once before when we were in college and it didn’t work out. We didn’t necessarily see eye-to-eye.”

Without answering, Jensen gripped Jared’s biceps and shoved him against the wall, crushing their lips together in a passionate, possessive kiss. His tongue pushed its way into Jared’s mouth as soon as it was granted access, a deep moan tearing from Jared’s throat to be swallowed up in the kiss. He only pulled back when the need for oxygen was too great, Jensen pressing his forehead against Jared’s as he panted out his breaths. “I know that you’d never be with him,” he assured Jared. “But the fact that he’s still trying just pisses me off. You’re _mine_. And I just want him to fuck off.”

Hearing Jensen say that he was his had Jared’s dick twitching in his jeans. He liked the sound of that. And although it was kind of strange, he liked the fact that Jensen was so possessive. “I know that I’m yours,” he whispered, licking his lips before he leaned in and pressed a kiss to Jensen’s mouth. “That’s all that matters. Tom doesn’t have a chance, and we know that. You shouldn’t let him get to you.”

“I hate the way he throws himself at you,” Jensen admitted. “Just wanna knock his lights out when he even looks at you let alone speaks to you.” Jensen knew that he was being ridiculous, but he couldn’t help it. That was how he felt, and there wasn’t anything he could do about it. He’d never really cared for Tom Welling, and this just gave him another reason not to like the guy. Honestly, Jensen was surprised he’d lasted as long as he had. He thought for sure Tom would have been one of the first people in the group to bite the dust.

A small smile came to Jared’s lips when Jensen explained how he felt. “Yeah?” he asked, giving Jensen a slight shove to get him off so he could move. “Well suck it up. If you want to be with Danneel still, then he thinks I’m fair game. And it’s not exactly like I can tell him otherwise without rising suspicion, which means you just gotta deal with it.” Jared knew how Jensen felt – he hated seeing Danneel all over Jensen all of the time, but he dealt with it. Because he had to. Jensen was just going to have to learn how to do the same. 

Although he didn’t like it, Jensen knew that was the only thing he could do. Well, until he was ready to let everyone know that they were together. And he wasn’t sure how long that was going to take. He was still trying to process it. All he knew was that he liked being with Jared. And it wasn’t just the sex and the kissing. That part was good – _damn good_ – but that wasn’t it. There was more to it than that. Just hanging out with Jared last night watching old movies had made him feel better than he’d felt with Danneel in years. So yeah, he knew how he felt, but he wasn’t ready to put it into words yet.

Again, he grabbed Jared’s wrist, stopping him from getting too far away. “You want to go with me to the cottage again tonight?” he asked, smirking at Jared so he knew exactly what Jensen was suggesting. “I was thinking that we could watch some more movies and maybe raid the cupboards. I’m sure we could find some popcorn, or something. Make it a date?”

Another smile came to Jared’s lips at the suggestion. A date – he couldn’t believe that even during a zombie apocalypse they were going to manage to make this work. “Yeah, we could do that,” he assured him with a small nod. “After we shower though. Can’t get enough of that hot water. It was so amazing.” Using the grip Jensen had on his wrist, Jared tugged Jensen closer, whispering in his ear, “And you have to agree to let me actually wash you tonight. You got to touch last night and I didn’t. So not fair, Jen.”

Fuck, that was hot. Jensen couldn’t think of anything better than having Jared running his big, soapy hands all over him. “Yeah, sounds like a plan,” he answered, releasing Jared with another smile. “I’ll come get you around two? Gives us plenty of time to get there before nightfall, stay for a few hours and make it back before anyone freaks out about where we are.” Christian and Steve had it easy – no one wondered where they were when they didn’t make an appearance for the whole night. Danneel kept her eyes on Jensen like a damn hawk. He was lucky he could take a leak without her demanding to know where he was.

With another small nod and a smile, Jared made his way back into the cafeteria, inwardly groaning when Tom instantly started chatting with him again. Now that Jensen mentioned it, Jared could tell that Tom was just trying to take this further than Jared wanted it. Sure, he was trying to be subtle, but Jared could tell the difference now that it had been pointed out to him. And it was pretty damn annoying. Jared had already told Tom there was no way they were going to be together. Apparently, Tom wasn’t very good at listening. 

Still, there wasn’t much Jared could do about it now without rousing suspicion. Especially since he’d just been in the hallway alone with Jensen for a good five minutes. That would definitely get some lips moving, and that’s the last thing they needed when they were trying to keep this between themselves and a couple of close friends. Speaking of, Jared needed to find Sandy so he could tell her the good news. “Uh, Tom, I have to go talk to Sandy about sleeping arrangements,” Jared explained. “Sorry. We’ll talk later!” With that, he was jogging towards his friend, smiling at her when she hugged him.

The hug quickly turned into a punch in the arm, causing Jared to yelp in surprise. “Ow! What was that for?” he whined, rubbing his arm dramatically as though it hurt more than it had. Of course, he knew that she was probably mad at him for being out all night, but once he told her why, he had a feeling she wasn’t going to care anymore. After all, Jared was happier than he had ever been, so he figured that his best friend would be happy for him too. 

“What do you think it was for, Jared?” she asked, frowning at him. “You didn’t come back last night after going out with Jensen and I thought something terrible had happened to you! I mean, what were you thinking going out so close to dark like that?! You’re not an idiot – you were on the road for a few days weren’t you?! The walkers are more active at night, and you know that, but you still went out! Chad was going to put a group together to go find you guys and make sure you weren’t hurt if you hadn’t come back when you had!”

Well, he’d been right about her being pissed about him not coming back the night before. “Sandy listen, there’s a good reason I didn’t come back,” he assured her with a small smile. Glancing around the cafeteria to make sure no one was paying attention to them, Jared explained, “Jensen and I were together. As in _together_.” He felt like a little schoolgirl gossiping to his friend that he’d gotten lucky. But he wanted her to know, and Jensen had given him permission to tell her as long as she kept it to herself. After all, Christian and Steve were allowed to know, so it was only fair.

Her eyes widened when Jared explained that he had been with Jensen in a sexual way. “Are you serious?” she asked, her frown slowly melting into a smile. “You mean, you guys had sex? Like…for real?!” When Jared nodded, Sandy squealed and hugged him, practically jumping into his arms. “Oh my God Jay, I’m so happy for you!”

Jared nearly fell over when Sandy jumped into his arms because he hadn’t been ready for it. “Thanks Sandy, but you need to calm down,” he explained. “And you have to promise not to tell anyone. I told Jensen that we could keep it a secret until he’s ready for other people to know. Right now, it’s just you, Steve and Christian who know about us.” He could tell that Sandy didn’t like the idea, but he wasn’t above begging. “Sandy, please, don’t say anything, just do this one favor for me? Please? I really like him and we’re in a good place right now. He just needs some time. But this is definitely what he wants.”

It was true that Sandy didn’t like the idea, but Jared had never asked her for anything, so she was willing to do this one thing for him. “Fine,” she agreed. “I won’t tell anyone. But I don’t understand it. If he wants this, then why are you guys keeping it a secret?” At Jared’s look, Sandy put her hands up in a defensive position. “All I’m saying is that I’ll believe Jensen’s not going to break your heart when he actually proves it. I’m sorry that I don’t have the same blind faith in the man that you have after the last time, okay? It’s not like he hasn’t played you before, Jared.” Cupping his cheek, Sandy warned, “All I’m saying is be careful. I don’t want to see you get hurt.” With that, Sandy walked away, meeting Chad by one of the tables and quickly taking a seat to join the card game that was going on.

**~~**

The day seemed to be dragging on and on, making Jensen wish that he’d suggested they go out at noon instead of two. Tom spent practically all day hanging on Jared, and it pissed Jensen off to the point where he’d actually made a comment about it. And that of course got Danneel involved, which had just made things worse. Samantha and Jim were trying to keep the peace, but it was hard to do when all Jensen wanted to do was throttle Tom and tell Danneel to go pound salt. No one even wanted to be in the same room with the four of them because they were going at it all of the time. Jeffrey and Michael had even taken the extra step to go outside and keep watch just to get away from all of the yelling.

It had been this way for the last hour and a half, and Jensen had definitely had enough. If Tom opened his mouth one more time, Jensen was going to make nice on his threat to beat the shit out of him. So of course, Tom had to say the one thing that was sure to push Jensen over the edge. “Why do I get the impression that you don’t want me talking to Jared?” Tom sneered, glaring at Jensen. “It’s not like he’s your damn property or anything. It’s none of your business who he talks to!”

That was when Jensen lost his temper. His fist was flying before he knew what was happening, connecting with Tom’s jaw with a satisfying _smack_. “Jensen!” Danneel shrieked, her hand covering her mouth as she watched Jensen move over Tom who was now on the ground and hit him again. “Jensen, stop it! What are you doing?!”

For a minute, Jared was so shocked by what was happening in front of him that he couldn’t move. Danneel screaming at him that this was all his fault dragged him out of his head and got him moving. “Jensen, cut it out!” he ordered, moving towards Jensen and Tom, though not getting close enough to actually stop it. Maybe this was what Jensen needed to get over his anger at Tom. Besides, Tom deserved to get roughed up a bit for that statement. He had no idea what he was talking about.

Before Jensen could hit Tom a third time, Christian grabbed him from behind, pulling Jensen off Tom. “He’s down!” Christian shouted, keeping his grip on Jensen. “Cool off, Jen! He’s down, brother!” Jensen was struggling to get free, but Christian held fast, repeating the words in Jensen’s ear until he finally stopped moving and came out of the almost dazed state he’d been in. “There ya go, Jen. Just calm down.”

When he saw what he’d done, Jensen couldn’t even work up enough strength to be upset about it. All he felt was blind rage. Tom didn’t know shit about what he and Jared had, and he sure as hell had no business telling Jensen to butt out when he was talking to Jared. That had just pissed him off. Shrugging out of Christian’s grasp, Jensen assured him, “I’m fine! Let me go.” Sighing, he glanced at Jared, silently telling him that they needed to get out of there now. “I’m just gonna... go for a walk.”

Before anyone could stop him, Jensen headed out of the cafeteria, not stopping until he was out of the building completely. Jared followed after him not long after, the two of them making their way to the cottage in silence. Only when they checked to make sure the perimeter was secure did Jensen finally relax, flopping onto the couch and holding his head in his hands. He felt Jared sit next to him and moved one hand to grip Jared’s knee as he breathed slowly in and then out, calming himself down.

Jared smiled softly when Jensen gripped his knee, Jared’s hand moving to cover Jensen’s. “Are you okay?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He didn’t like the way Jensen had been acting lately. It scared him. Jensen always seemed to be moody and he really took out his anger and frustration out on Tom. Sure, it was flattering, but Jared didn’t want Jensen to get himself hurt. And he sure as hell didn’t want Jeffrey to get pissed off and kick Jensen out of the high school because he thought that he wasn’t playing nice. Jared liked it at the high school and he didn’t want to leave, but he knew that if Jensen left, Jared would follow him right out that door.

“I wanted to shoot him in the face,” Jensen admitted, frowning to himself. “I’ve never felt like that about anyone before – never thought about shooting someone just because they were talking to a person I wanted to be with. Honestly, it scared me a little.” Glancing at Jared, Jensen sighed, giving his head a small shake. “What are you doing to me?” he asked, moving his hand so it was gripping the base of Jared’s neck, fingers sliding into Jared’s hair before he yanked him down into a deep, passionate kiss. “I don’t like the idea of you being with anyone else. Want you all to myself, baby.”

Another smile came to Jared’s lips when Jensen kissed him, Jared giving everything he had in the kiss so Jensen would know that he knew exactly what Jensen was talking about. “Jen, you think I like seeing Danneel hang all over you?” he asked with a scoff. “I don’t. If she was a man, I probably would have knocked her on her ass by now. But since I don’t hit women, I haven’t touched her.” Pressing his hand against Jensen’s heart, Jared gripped his shirt, pulling Jensen into another brief kiss. “It goes both ways, you know?” he breathed when the kiss broke. “I hate that she can have you out in the open and I only get you when we’re alone. Like I’m some kind of dirty little secret.”

Crushing their lips together again, Jensen wound his fingers tightly in Jared’s hair, holding him in place so he could maneuver his head however he wanted to. “You’re not a dirty little secret,” he whispered with a shake of his head. “And we’ll tell people about us soon. I just have to figure out how to break the news to Danneel.” Smirking slightly, Jensen scooted closer to Jared, fingers carding through his hair once more. “Besides, don’t you like just keeping it between the two of us? A secret rendezvous – it’s kinda hot, don’t you think?”

Okay, so maybe Jared did think this was kind of hot, but that wasn’t the point. “Maybe it is a little bit hot,” he admitted, smiling back at Jensen. Damn, this man knew what to say to him to make him feel good. “So…maybe we should head back. I don’t want anyone getting suspicious or sending out a search party for us.”

A small frown came to Jensen’s face when Jared suggested that they head back. They’d just gotten here. “Really?” he all but whined. “Already? We just got here, Jay. I wanna shower with you. That was the plan, remember? _Hot_ shower? Together? It was _your_ idea.” And now that the idea was in his head, Jensen wasn’t leaving this cottage without seeing Jared dripping wet and naked. “Don’t make me drag you to that bathroom and take advantage of you, baby. Because I will.”

Honestly, Jared hadn’t wanted to go back without getting his fill of the hot water either, so he was glad Jensen complained about it. “Okay, if you insist,” Jared smiled, acting as though it was a hassle although it was the exact opposite. “But you better keep your hands to yourself until I’ve at least got clean hair. I stink in case you haven’t noticed and my hair looks like I washed it with cooking oil. It’s gross.”

Rolling his eyes, Jensen pushed himself off the couch, leading the way to the bathroom. “You look fine, Jay,” he assured him. “Better than fine, actually. You look fuckin’ hot, baby.” Once Jared was in the bathroom, Jensen closed the door, pushing Jared against it as he kissed his way along Jared’s jaw and down his neck, pushing Jared’s over shirt off his shoulders as he did. Sure, Jared had told him to keep his hands to himself, but he didn’t see the point. He wanted to touch, so he was going to. If Jared really wanted him to keep his hands off, he would let him know.

So much for Jensen keeping his hands to himself. It wasn’t that Jared really minded – he actually liked that Jensen had such a hard time with it. To him, that meant he wasn’t just a sex toy – it meant that Jensen actually cared about him. “Mmm…Jen,” Jared moaned softly, biting into Jensen’s plush bottom lip before he kissed the sting away. Honestly, Jared didn’t think they had time to have sex in the shower – not with Jensen’s ability to tease him practically to death – but he wasn’t going to turn him down either. Jared wanted him too badly. “Get your clothes off. We don’t have a lot of time.”

“Mmm…Jay, I get all tingly when you take control like that,” Jensen teased, nipping at Jared’s lips before he pulled away, yanking his shirt over his head as soon as he had space to move. He quickly turned on the water so it had time to heat up before they climbed in, figuring it would make Jared happy.“You too. If you’re gonna make me do this fast, then you gotta help me out.” Really, Jensen wished he could have taken his time, but he knew Jared was right. The last thing they needed was to have a search group sent out for them. Not only would that compromise the location of the cottage, but it would be dangerous for the others. The less people traipsing through the woods, the better. Walkers were everywhere and they didn’t need to make it easier for them to take a bite out of anyone.

Once they were both naked, Jared climbed into the shower, the water already warm because Jensen had started it as they were getting undressed. God, Jared loved how damn thorough that man could be. A wide smile came to his lips when Jensen got into the small space with him, crowding him against the shower wall so there was absolutely no space between them. Jared didn’t mind, of course – that was the idea, after all. “Are you at least going to let me wash my hair first?” Jared asked, at this point not even caring which came first because Jensen had already managed to get him so damn worked up. Sometimes he envied how good Jensen was at taking him from zero to one hundred in such a small amount of time. He only hoped that he was able to do the same to Jensen.

Although that had been the plan before they got into the shower, Jensen just didn’t want to wait that long. Sure, he knew Jared wasn’t going to take forever to wash his hair, but at this point three seconds of not being able to touch Jared was going to be too long for him. Maybe Jared wouldn’t remember that Jensen had implied he would allow him to wash his hair first. “No,” Jensen answered, his hands gripping Jared’s hips as he pushed his body impossibly closer. He didn’t want to be able to tell where Jared’s body ended and his began. “Want you too much. Want you _now_.”

God, Jensen was hot. The way he just took control like that was amazing. Jared wanted him now more than he had a second ago. Still, that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to tease a little bit. “But Jen… I’m gross. Oily hair isn’t one of my best looks,” he complained, though he was pushing his hips back against Jensen’s, his breath catching in his throat when he felt Jensen’s hard shaft pressing against him. Fuck, he wanted him so badly.

Now there was no way in Hell Jensen was going to let Jared wash his damn hair first. “Already told you, baby,” Jensen mumbled softly, one arm wrapping around Jared’s waist to pull him back against his body and keep him trapped there. “You’re not gross. Fucking hot, Jay.” Leaning in, he closed his lips around Jared’s shoulder, biting into his skin hard enough to bruise. He wanted to leave marks on Jared – let everyone know who he belonged to. “One’a these days, m’gonna leave marks where everyone can see,” he promised, mouthing along Jared’s broad shoulders, sucking the water droplets off his skin.

Jared wanted that. More than anything, he wanted that. But he knew Jensen needed to tell everyone when he was ready, and Jared didn’t want to rush him. So for now, he’d settle for whatever Jensen would give him. After all, he’d already explained how much Jared meant to him, so Jared was at least happy about that. And if he wasn’t ready to tell everyone about them for another few months, Jared could handle that. After all, it wasn’t like they needed other people to know they were together in order to make it real. This – what they were doing right now – that made it real.

Before Jared knew what was happening, Jensen pushed him against the shower wall – hard. His hands traveled down Jared’s sides until they reached his ass, squeezing the firm globes briefly before he spread Jared’s cheeks, moaning softly into Jared’s ear as he ground his hips against Jared’s body. “Feel so good, baby,” he whispered, nipping at Jared’s ear lobe as he pulled his hands away with a light smack to Jared’s ass. Quickly, he grabbed the soap, getting his hands lathered with suds so he could use it as lubricant. The next time they sent a group out on a run, Jensen was going to have to put in a special request for lube so he and Jared could have sex comfortably outside of the shower.

When Jensen slapped his ass, Jared hissed in surprise. Although Jensen made the smack light, it still stung due to his wet skin. Jared was going to have to get Jensen back for that one. But not right now. At this exact moment, he just wanted Jensen’s hands on him again. “Jen…c’mon, what’re you doin’ back there? Did you forget how to have sex since the last time we were here, or somethin’?” Sure, Jared knew that he probably shouldn’t be teasing Jensen like this right now, but he wanted Jensen to get a move on already and he wasn’t at the point of begging – _yet_. 

A small smile came to Jensen’s lips when Jared teased him. Of course, he knew that it was just a joke – a way of Jared to sound like he wasn’t hard as hell and wanting Jensen to get on with it. “Keep it up Jay and I’ll take my sweet time,” Jensen threatened. He really couldn’t and they both knew it, but he liked teasing Jared with it anyway. His hands quickly moved to Jared’s ass again, spreading his cheeks once more, one soapy finger circling Jared’s tight, pink pucker. “God, if we had time,” he whispered, pushing his finger into Jared’s tight heat, smiling when Jared moaned and pushed back against the digit. “There are so many things I would do to you.”

Finally, Jensen was getting with the program. They’d had sex enough times already that Jared didn’t need an elaborate preparation. A couple fingers and he would be good to go. Though, something told him that Jensen wasn’t going to make it that easy. When it came to sex, nothing was easy with Jensen – not that Jared was complaining. There was nothing wrong with foreplay. Well, unless their group sent a search party out for them because they didn’t get back in time. Then there was a problem with it.

Much to Jared’s surprise, Jensen made quick work of getting him open, his fingers pulling out of Jared much faster than Jared had originally thought they would. Of course, Jared still wasn’t going to complain. He was fine – if it had been up to him, Jensen would have just started with his dick. Jared could take it. Sure, it would be slow going at first, but he’d be able to deal with it. Another deep moan escaped his lips when Jensen pushed into him, Jared’s breaths panting out when Jensen was finally fully sheathed inside of him. “God, Jensen…please?” Jared moaned softly, one hand moving behind him to grip Jensen’s hip, short, blunt nails digging into Jensen’s skin, leaving marks.

“Please what, baby?” Jensen whispered in Jared’s ear, hissing with the mixture of pain and pleasure he was feeling. He knew what Jared wanted – it was obvious – but he wanted Jared to beg for it first. And yeah, they may not have had time for this, but he wanted it and they would make time if they had to, dammit. With any luck, Jared would just know what he wanted and do it that way they didn’t have to waste what little time they had waiting. Jensen didn’t have any plans to move until Jared begged him to.

Of course, Jared knew what Jensen was fishing for. And if they had time to tease each other like that, Jared would have held out, but they just didn’t. So, he gave in to what Jensen wanted and he begged. “Please Jen… fuck me. God, please… just move,” he breathed, pushing back against Jensen’s body as best as he could given their position. After all, Jared was shoved against the wall and could barely move because Jensen was so close to him. “Please… m’ready. Don’t make me wait, Jensen, please?” 

Hearing Jared beg like that had Jensen’s cock twitching inside Jared. “Fuck baby, yeah,” he breathed softly, stepping back a little and spreading his feet a little wider to give himself more leverage. His hands tightened their grip on Jared’s hips before he started thrusting his hips against Jared’s, causing a deep moan to escape Jared’s lips. Slowly, one hand moved from Jared’s hip to wrap around his waist, Jensen’s fingers wrapping around Jared’s cock and stroking. He started slowly before picking up momentum, matching his strokes with the thrusts of his hips.

It was too much. Jared just couldn’t take it much longer. Sure enough, after a few more thrusts, Jared felt his balls draw up close to his body. “Jen… m’gonna come,” he warned, groaning in pleasure as the first spurt of release shot from his dick, splashing against the shower wall. A few seconds later, he felt Jensen’s come filling his body, another small moan escaping his lips as his spent cock spit out another few drops of spunk. “God, you’re amazing,” he complimented, allowing his head to fall back against Jensen’s shoulder. “Do you even know how much of a god you are?”

The compliment had Jensen laughing out loud, his head turning to press a kiss to Jared’s temple. “That’s sweet baby, but I wasn’t the only one doing the work here,” he reminded, nosing along Jared’s jawline before nipping at his neck. “Wanna wash your hair now?” he whispered softly. “Water’s coolin’ down and we should probably leave before my body can rejuvenate. If my cock gets interested again, we’re not gonna be able to get out of here for a while.”

That had Jared laughing now. “Yeah, wanna wash my hair now,” he answered, pulling away from Jensen and instantly feeling the loss. “Let me wash you?” he asked, soaping up his hands and running them over Jensen’s chest and down his abdomen without waiting for an answer. His hair could wait a few more minutes.

**~~**

As soon as they were back at the high school, Jensen was tense again. The change in his demeanor was obvious, though not to Danneel. She hung all over him like he wasn’t strung like a bow. Of course, Jared couldn’t help but chuckle when Jensen all but shoved her away from him, frowning at her. “Danneel, stop it,” Jensen complained. “I don’t want to fucking talk about it, all right? I just wanna be left alone. Can you do that for once? Please?!”

Although the way Jensen was speaking to her and the way he all but blew her off made her angrier than mere words could explain, Danneel sulked away, going to pout to Genevieve. She knew something was up with Jensen, but recently, it had been like talking to a wall when she tried to have an adult conversation with him. And she had a feeling that it had something to do with Jared, and it pissed her off more than anything. Maybe Genevieve would be able to talk her out of getting a gun and shooting Jared Padalecki in the head.

Tom wasn’t giving up on his task of getting at Jared, apparently. Jared wasn’t an idiot – he knew that was why Jensen was pissed off. But Jared didn’t know what more he could do to make Tom understand that he didn’t want to be with him in that way. It was ridiculous – he’d told him on more than one occasion and he just couldn’t get it through his thick skull. Now, Tom was asking Jared if he would be interested in spending the night in his room with him, and honestly, it was making Jared a little angry too. If he’d wanted to be with Tom, he would have suggested it himself instead of telling Tom he wasn’t interested.

Just as Jared was about to turn him down, Jared saw Jensen slam the doors open and walk outside to join Jeffrey and Michael where they were keeping watch. Great, now Jensen was going to sulk because of something Jared couldn’t control. They were supposed to be in a good place right now. Apparently that was only when he and Jensen were alone and no one was there to jeopardize their relationship. “Look, Tom, I already told you,” Jared explained, pushing Tom’s hand which had found its way to Jared’s lower back away. “I’m not interested in being with you. The best I can give you – the _only_ thing I can give you – is my friendship. And if you keep this up, you won’t even get that.”

With that, Jared headed out of the cafeteria, smiling at Katie and Alona on his way out. He didn’t really know them all that well, but from what he did know, they were nice women. Alona was slightly damaged from everything that she had seen when this first went down, but who wasn’t? Some might say that Jared had issues because when there was a large herd within range, he sometimes froze because it reminded him of the night that he lost his family. Sure, he wasn’t mental or anything, but some things were just too much for some people. Who was Jared to judge what happened in Alona’s head while she was sleeping?

More than anything, he wanted to go outside and find Jensen – talk to him about how Tom wasn’t anything but a pest who wouldn’t leave him alone – but he thought better of it. If he and Jensen were going to keep their relationship a secret for now, he needed to keep his distance at least sometimes. It was the right thing to do. So, instead he went to Sandy, figuring that he could count on his best friend in his moment of need. Maybe she could give him some advice as to how to get Tom off his back. It was worth a shot, anyway.

Meanwhile, outside, Jensen was resting against the side of the school, looking out over the field where he used to play football and reminiscing about the life he’d been living back then. He’d won his fourth and last championship game on that very field three days after having sex with Jared for the first time ten years ago. It had been one of the best times in his life. If someone had told him then that he’d be living in a world overrun by the dead now, he probably would have had them admitted to a psych ward. Who would have thought that in a matter of ten years, life could go so far down the drain? Certainly, Jensen hadn’t been thinking like that back then.

While he was thinking about the past and what might be in their future, the sounds of walkers getting closer pulled Michael and Jeffrey’s attention to the woods beyond the high school. “Oh holy shit,” Jeffrey breathed in fear. Just a few feet away from them, there was a large herd of walkers coming their way. “Michael, Jensen,” he hissed, moving slowly towards the high school entrance. “We need to get inside now! We have to warn the others about this. If we don’t get organized, this herd is going to blow through us and there won’t be anything left.”

Quickly, Michael headed into the high school, running through the halls and screaming, “Biters! There are biters coming our way! A lot of them! We need to assemble. Pack everything you can and get your guns and weapons ready! If we can’t fight them off, we’re going to have to flee!” Once everyone was warned, Michael led everybody to the cafeteria where they all gathered to prepare for the fight of their lifetime.

Jensen and Jeffrey were holding the doors closed as best as they could, but against that many geeks, there was no way these doors were going to hold them out. Sure enough, the walkers broke through, Jensen and Jeffrey bolting to the cafeteria to join the rest of the group as the doors burst open and the walkers came bursting through. There was a good chance that they were going to lose the high school tonight, but with any luck, they were all going to make it out of here with their lives. And that was all anyone could ask for at this point.


	11. Chapter Eleven

Everything was moving in slow motion. Jared could hear everyone screaming, but he couldn’t make out the words that were being yelled. He saw Jensen’s mouth moving and he saw his eyes locked on Jared’s own, but he couldn’t comprehend what was being said. All he knew was that there were geeks invading the high school and if they didn’t get the hell out of there, they were going to die. Still, it didn’t look like anyone was gearing to leave. They were all standing with their weapons raised ready to fight. At the first fire of a gun close to him, Jared jumped slightly, his head whipping around to see Sandy holding a smoking gun.

As the minutes ticked by, more and more walkers came rushing into the high school. Around him, Jared could see people – his friends – fighting for their lives. People he knew and had grown to care about were being attacked and Jared was in the middle of having a nervous breakdown because this reminded him of the night he was attacked while he had still been living with his family. It was ridiculous – a part of him knew that – but there was nothing he could do about it. He watched helplessly as Michael was grabbed from behind and teeth closed over his jugular, blood spraying everywhere as more geeks surrounded his friend’s body and started devouring his flesh.

Sandy could tell that Jared was in danger. There was no way for her to watch him and keep herself alive, unfortunately, so she knew what needed to be done. She’d heard a couple things about Jared’s family – like how they had been overrun and that was how Jared had lost them. The only thing Sandy could think right now was that Jared was suffering from PTSD and that why he wasn’t able to help. God, he was shaking like a damn leaf, and Sandy felt so bad for her friend. “Jensen!” she called, getting Jensen’s attention off Jared briefly and onto herself as she shot another walker in the head. “You need to get him out of here. If he stays, he’ll die. And you will too more than likely because you’re not paying attention to what’s around you!”

Although the last thing Jensen wanted to do was leave when the group needed him, he knew that Sandy was right. Jared was in no condition to be here and he had to think about what was best for him if he wanted to keep Jared in his life. Giving Sandy a curt nod, Jensen grabbed Jared and started running, dragging Jared behind him. “Chris! Give me the keys to your pick up!” he called out, catching them in mid-air before he tossed the keys to the van to Christian. Just because he was leaving didn’t mean he was going to take the van so no one else could get out of here in a vehicle.

Just as Jensen reached the window where there was an opening, he heard Danneel scream, causing him to jerk his head back towards the crowd. He felt relief wash through him when he saw that she wasn’t screaming because she was being attacked. Instead, she was screaming because Genevieve was being ripped from her hands and the walkers were already tearing into her – there was no hope for her anymore. Even if she got away, she was already infected. But that didn’t mean Jensen was going to let Danneel stand around and let the same thing happen to her.

Quickly, Jensen shoved Jared against the wall – hard enough to get his attention, but not hard enough to hurt him. “Jared, baby, listen to me, please?” Jensen begged, his attention moving from Jared to Danneel. “Jared, c’mon, you can’t keep doin’ this to me! Jay!” Roughly, Jensen shook Jared, his fingers digging into Jared’s soft skin. “Jared!” he hissed once more, not wanting to attract any attention from the walkers who were only about five feet away from them snacking on Genevieve’s body.

It was all starting to come back into view now, Jared realizing that Jensen was expecting him to respond. “I-I’m here,” Jared answered with a small nod, one hand moving to grip the front of Jensen’s T-shirt, fingers curling tightly around the fabric in his fist. Although he wanted nothing more than to walk back into that cafeteria and help their friends, Jared knew that he was in no shape to do so. He was a mess and there was no denying it. When there were herds around, Jared just wasn’t himself, and he knew there was nothing he could do about it right now. 

A wide smile came to Jensen’s lips when he saw that Jared had apparently snapped out of whatever funk he was in. “Hey baby, welcome back,” he breathed softly, his hand moving to comb quickly through Jared’s hair. If they had more time and there wasn’t a herd of zombies trying to make their friends snacks, Jensen would have greeted him properly, but there were bigger things to focus on right now. “Listen to me, you have to go out that window. Here’s the keys to Chris’s pick up – I want you to get in it and wait for me. I’ll be right behind you.”

Jared didn’t like this plan. But right now, he knew it was the best they had. Slowly, he released Jensen, taking the keys from him. “You better not be lying to me,” he warned. “If you’re not in that pick up in two minutes, I’m coming back for you.” And he would, too. After all, Jared knew the only thing that could keep Jensen away was if he was attacked himself. And if Jensen was gone, then Jared didn’t want to be here anymore either.

Again, Jensen smiled, giving his head a small shake. “I’m not lying,” he promised before he gave Jared a small shove. “Now go.” As soon as Jared was out of the school, Jensen ran towards Danneel who seemed to be in some state of shock as well. At least with her, he could just carry her out of here. Picking her up, Jensen ran towards the window and climbed out, making sure he didn’t hit Danneel’s head in the process. Once they were out, Jensen ran towards the truck, tossing Danneel into the passenger seat, ignoring the look he got from Jared, before climbing into the driver’s seat himself. “Hold on!” Jensen ordered as the truck roared to life. 

As soon as the truck started, Jensen slammed the thing into drive and tore out of the school parking lot. At this point, he had no idea where they were going, or how he was going to meet up with the others when they finally got out of there, but he knew he couldn’t think about all of that right now. At the moment, he needed to focus on getting Jared to safety. Everything else could wait as long as he had Jared somewhere where he was safe and nothing was going to hurt him. At least for now, anyway.

“Where are we going?” Danneel piped up after a few moments, her eyes red from the tears she had shed for her friend. “What happens when the others get out of there? How are we going to find everyone?” Turning her attention to the window, Danneel continued, “I think we should just get the hell out of this place. We should head to the coast. Surely, the outbreak couldn’t have gotten that far out, right? Maybe there’s somewhere safe we can go and not have to worry about all of this shit!”

The fact that Danneel was actually suggesting they leave and not even try to meet up with the group again appalled Jensen. And to think he had just gotten her out of there so she didn’t get bitten. Maybe he should have just left her there. But that wasn’t him – he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself if she had died because he hadn’t helped her. “There’s no fucking way I’m doing that,” he snapped, frowning at her. “They’re our _friends_ , Danneel. We’re not leaving them.”

Anger mixed with the sadness she was feeling for the loss of her friend, which was a volatile combination for anyone in her path. “Don’t talk to me like that, Jensen!” Danneel yelled. “I’m only trying to get out of this thing alive! And we don’t need them, Jen! Hell, we don’t even need Jared! Why the hell is he here, anyway?!” Turning her attention to Jared, Danneel sneered, “Shouldn’t you be in the school helping Tom get out, or something? You know, since the two of you have grown so damn close. Seriously Jared, doesn’t hitting on _my boyfriend_ get even a little bit tiring for you?!”

Before Jared could get a word in, Jensen slammed on the brakes, turning his full attention to Danneel. “That’s enough!” he yelled. “You want to go to the coast, there’s the door. Go on your own. If not, then let it be known – I’m the boss here. I figure out where we’re going and you leave Jared the fuck alone. He’s here because _I_ want him here. And if you have a problem with that, then you can leave – no one’s stopping you.”

It was obvious that Danneel was shocked by Jensen’s words, causing Jared to smirk slightly. God, he couldn’t wait until he and Jensen were able to tell everyone that they were together. Danneel was going to shit a brick. And judging by the way Jensen’s patience with her got shorter and shorter each day, Jared had a feeling they weren’t going to be together too much longer. Unfortunately, Danneel wasn’t stupid enough to leave the group and test her luck on the road alone, so he still had to put up with her for now.

Once everything was sorted out in the car, Jared subtly scooting a little bit closer to Jensen while Danneel went back to staring out the window, Jensen started the truck up again and headed in the direction of their previous location. If there was anywhere in this world the others were going to head when they got out of that mess, it would be where they had been setting up camp before they went to the high school. All they had to do was wait for them to make their way there.

**~~**

There were biters all over the place. It seemed as though they were coming out of the woodwork. They were going to run out of ammo before they even made a dent. Jensen had managed to get Jared and Danneel out through the back where there wasn’t a threat, and Jeffrey was sure the rest of the group was going to have to do the same. Already, they’d lost too many people, and he wasn’t willing to let anymore fall. Grabbing Chad, he ordered, “We have to get out of here. The school’s lost, and if we don’t leave we’ll be lost with it!”

Although he didn’t want to leave the school – the only place he considered to be safe since this whole thing started – Chad knew that Jeffrey was right. “Round everyone up. We can make a clean exit undetected as long as those biters are preoccupied with their meal,” he explained. Chad hated the idea that the only reason they were going to get free was because the dead were tearing apart their fallen friends, but desperate times called for desperate measures. 

Alona went down a few feet in front of him, her screams echoing through the school as three biters started tearing into her flesh. Katie screamed for her lover and started shooting the biters who were attacking, but it was too late – Alona had been bitten and she was infected. It didn’t matter if she killed them all, Alona was lost. Unfortunately, as Katie’s attention was on Alona, a biter came up behind her and tore into her neck, ripping another scream from her throat. Chad put a bullet in its head before he grabbed Sandy and started towards the back of the school. There was no way he was letting those filthy things get their hands on her.

Luckily, everyone seemed to get the hint that the place was too infested and they were getting out. Chad and Sandy quickly climbed into Chad’s car while Jeffrey and Tom climbed into Jeffrey’s Jeep. Finally, Christian, Steve, Misha, Vicky, Jim, and Samantha loaded into Jensen’s van and they all took off, leaving the school in their rearview mirrors. Samantha was sobbing and Jim was trying to comfort her, but it wasn’t helping all that much. After everything they had just been through, no one was really fairing all that well. 

When they felt that they were far enough away from the hot zone, they pulled over. Chad, Jeffrey, Tom, Christian and Steve all climbed out of their vehicles to have a meeting. “So, what’s the plan?” Christian asked, glancing at the other men. “Jensen’s out there somewhere with Jared and Danneel, and we gotta find them.”

It was no secret that Chad wasn’t a fan of Jensen, and if he hadn’t gone off with Jared, he probably would have suggested they just forget about finding Jensen. But he needed to know that Jared was okay, so he nodded. “Well, you know him better than we do,” he explained to Christian. “Where would he go to wait for us?”

There was only one place Christian could think of that Jensen would go. “I know if it were me, I’d go back to the first place we set up camp. We all know where it is and it’s far enough away from here that they’ll be safe for a little while so they can wait,” Christian explained. “That’s where I think we should look. It’s not too far of a drive. If we get going now, we should be able to make it there by nightfall. Once we’re all back together, we can figure out a plan.”

Now that they at least had a general idea of where they were going, they all climbed into their vehicles once more and headed off, Christian leading the group since he had once stayed there with Jensen and the others. Jensen had to be there – if he wasn’t, Christian had no idea where to start looking. But he knew his friend wouldn’t just leave them all behind. Jensen had to be in their old camp – he just had to be.

Meanwhile, back at the previous campsite, Danneel was being even more annoying than usual. Jensen could understand that she just lost her best friend, but that was no excuse. The deal had been that they wait here for their friends to show up, yet Danneel was complaining and all but begging Jensen to get them out of here. “Can you just go check on supplies, or something?” Jensen suggested, frowning at her when she complained for what felt like the hundredth time that she wanted to leave. “We’re not going anywhere until someone shows up, so you might as well make yourself useful.”

“What if they never come, Jensen?!” Danneel argued, frowning at her boyfriend. “How are you so damn sure that they’re going to get out of that school? There were so many walkers there! And even if they do get out, who’s to say they’re going to come back here? Hell, they might move on, and then we’re waiting for nothing!” Glancing around the campsite, Danneel added, “It’s only a matter of time before walkers start venturing into this camp again. And what happens then, Jensen? How are you going to protect us?”

Honestly, Jensen had no idea how he was going to protect them when the walkers started coming here. And he knew it was only a matter of time before it happened. But right now, he wasn’t worried about it. At the moment, Jensen was more concerned about the safety of their friends, which Danneel obviously didn’t care about. However, before Jensen could answer Danneel, his van came into view, a wide smile coming to Jensen’s lips. “That’s not really something we have to worry about now, Danneel,” he replied, moving towards the vehicles as they pulled alongside the truck.

As soon as Christian and Steve climbed out of the van, Jensen pulled them both into a hug, holding his best friends close as his eyes slipped closed. He was so happy to see them alive. Pulling back after a moment, Jensen looked them both in the eye before scanning the rest of the group, taking notice that it was smaller than it had been before the attack. “How many casualties?” he asked, a deep frown on his lips.

Frowning, Christian explained, “Four as far as I know.” They hadn’t done a head count yet, but Christian knew for a fact that Katie and Alona hadn’t made it out. And he’d seen Genevieve’s body being devoured on the way to the window. And Michael had been taken down before Jensen had even gotten Jared out of there. “Mike, Katie, Alona, and Genevieve – I’m pretty sure everyone else is okay. A little shaken up, but okay, I guess.”

It was a shame – Jensen had actually gotten along with Michael. And he had been close with Alona and Katie as well. Sighing, he ran his hand through his hair, giving himself a minute to process everything that had just happened. “Well, we can’t stay here. Sooner or later, the walkers are going to come here, too. We have to get away.” 

Christian knew that Jensen was right, but how could they go somewhere else when they had nowhere to go? “And go where, Jen?” he asked, glancing at the others to make sure everyone was all right. The last thing they needed was to have someone who had been bitten coming into the camp and catching them all off guard. “I mean, I agree we have to go somewhere else, but do you have any suggestions? Because I sure as hell don’t.”

They needed a plan. And his friends were all looking at him expecting him to know what to do, but he just didn’t. “Honestly, I have no idea,” he admitted, shaking his head. “I think that maybe we should just…stay here for the night. Rest up and get on the road tomorrow. I mean, I don’t think one night here is going to hurt. We stayed here for how long without walkers attacking us – one more night isn’t gonna make much of a difference, I don’t think.” 

While that was true, Christian and Steve weren’t the people Jensen needed to convince. Still, they were willing to help their friend. After all, one glance at Jared sobbing into Sandy’s shoulder let Christian and Steve know that Jensen had bigger problems to worry about. “Look, I agree completely with you,” Steve said, giving Jensen’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “Chris and I will let everyone know that we’re making camp here tonight.” Jutting his chin towards Jared, Steve continued, “I think you have better things to be worrying about than a group of scared, confused people.” 

Although Jensen felt like everyone wanted to hear it from him since they all looked to him as their leader, for lack of a better word, he knew that Jared was more important. “Thanks guys,” he smiled, slapping them both on the backs affectionately before he turned his attention to Jared. However, before he could reach him, Danneel stepped in his way, wrapping her arms around Jensen and pressing her forehead into his chest.

She was sobbing, and Jensen did feel kind of bad for her, but he wanted to comfort Jared. His whole focus was on him right now, and it wasn’t fair to Danneel. “Oh God, Jen, she’s dead!” Danneel cried. “Genevieve’s dead! They just pulled her right out of my arms! And I tried to hold on to her, but they were so strong! It was…horrible!”

A deep frown came to Jensen’s lips as Danneel gripped him tighter. He was trying to be sympathetic – really, he was – but he just couldn’t. Jensen hadn’t liked Genevieve – at all. And while no one deserved to go like that, Jensen didn’t have it in him to be upset for her right now. “Danneel, I can’t do this right now,” he whispered softly, pulling her hands off of him gently and moving her out of his way. “I’m sorry.” With that, he moved towards Jared, frowning at Sandy when she glanced up at him. He spoke volumes with his eyes, and Jensen was just happy that Sandy got the hint.

Slowly, Sandy pulled away from Jared, smiling softly at him. “Hey sweetie, I’m going to find Chad, all right?” she explained, turning Jared so he was facing Jensen. “I think you’ll be in good hands with him while I’m gone. But if you need me, I’ll be right over there. Just come and get me, okay?”

When Jared nodded, Sandy gave Jensen a small smile before she headed over to stand with Chad, her head resting on his shoulder as she listened to Steve and Christian explain that they were staying here for the evening. Honestly, she didn’t really care where they stayed as long as they were together and safe from walkers for now. And they had shelter here as long as they put up their tents again, so she couldn’t complain. Luckily, the tents had stayed in the cars while they were in the school, so they still had them. The blankets were a different story, but it was a warm enough night that they shouldn’t need them.

Jensen hated seeing Jared cry. More than anything right now, he wanted to wrap Jared in his arms and just comfort him, but he knew he couldn’t. He had to keep up the charade that he was still with Danneel – especially now since she had just lost her best friend. So, he just closed his hand around Jared’s shoulder and looked at him. “Is there anything I can do?” he asked softly, thumb rubbing a soothing line back and forth over Jared’s broad shoulder.

“Hold me?” Jared suggested, chuckling softly as he wiped at his eyes. “I know you can’t right now, but it would help.” Glancing at Jensen, Jared explained, “Mike was a really good guy. He would always do the right thing, and he never doubted my decisions for some reason. I…I really liked him, you know?” When Jensen nodded, Jared sniffled, wiping his eyes again. “Um…do you think maybe we could be on watch together tonight? And you can…I don’t know…hold me on the roof of the van, or something? I don’t think anyone will see us up there.”

About twenty minutes later, Jensen and Jared were on top of the van keeping watch while the others tried to get some sleep. Jared was between Jensen’s legs with his head resting over Jensen’s chest, listening to the beating of his heart. He couldn’t stop thinking that maybe if he hadn’t had another panic attack, Michael might still be alive – like his friend’s death was somehow his fault. Tears were silently sliding down his cheeks and wetting Jensen’s T-shirt, but he couldn’t help it. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he felt bad because it was kind of a chilly night – Jensen might get cold if his shirt was wet.

More than anything, Jensen wished there was something he could do to make Jared feel better. But he knew that after everything that happened to them, there really wasn’t much he could do. Still, it didn’t hurt to ask, he supposed. Running his hand up and down Jared’s arm a little faster, Jensen asked, “Is there anything I can do, baby?” At this point, Jensen was willing to do anything to make Jared stop crying. Even if it meant talking about his damn feelings. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Slowly, Jared pulled his head off Jensen’s shoulder, giving his head a small shake. “I just…I keep thinking that maybe…if I hadn’t froze the way I did because of my fears, then maybe Mike would still be alive.” Another fat tear rolled down Jared’s cheek even though he tried so hard to keep it at bay. “Mike’s dead because of me. An-And Katie, and Alona, and Genevieve – it’s all _my_ fault!” More tears spilled over Jared’s cheeks as he allowed Jensen to pull him into his chest and hold him once more.

Jensen couldn’t believe that Jared actually thought Mike, Alona, Katie, and Genevieve might still be alive if he hadn’t had a panic attack. “Jared, this wasn’t your fault,” he whispered as he held Jared against him. “Baby, there was nothing you could have done. People die in this world and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. They just…they didn’t get out of the way in time. It had nothing to do with what happened to you, okay?” Of course, it wasn’t the best speech ever, but Jensen thought it was enough for now. One day Jared would understand that there was nothing he could have done to keep them safe. “Tell me that you understand what happened to them wasn’t your fault.”

Although Jared didn’t necessarily believe it, he nodded anyway, his arms wrapping around Jensen even tighter. He didn’t want to be thinking about this stuff right now. All he wanted to do was sit here with Jensen and maybe get some sleep before they had to be on the road. After all, it wasn’t like they could just stay here and hope that the geeks didn’t find them. They had gotten to this place before, and Jared was sure they could do it again. It was only a matter of time. Finally, he managed to fall into a light sleep, the soft _thumpthump_ of Jensen’s heart lulling him into dreamland.

**~~**

The next morning, Jensen woke earlier than the rest of the group, his hand absently running through Jared’s long locks for a moment before he had to wake him. He had the worst kink in his neck from falling asleep on one of the horribly uncomfortable chairs and his foot was asleep where Jared had rolled onto it, but he couldn’t complain. At least he had managed to doze off for a few hours and nothing had attacked the camp. But today was going to be another horrible day. They were vulnerable here, and Jensen knew that they were all going to be looking at him for direction and he just had no idea where they should go. 

When this whole thing had started, Jensen had wanted to head to the CDC and see what they knew, but that hadn’t happened. Maybe now was their chance to go find some answers. If there was anywhere in this world that would have answers and a safe place to stay, the Center for Disease Control was that place. There was just one problem – the CDC was smack dab in the middle of the city. It would be a risk going there with this many people. And hell, they weren’t even sure it was still standing – or even if it was, there was no way to know if people were actually still inside it. A lot of people had fled the city when the dead started walking around and eating the living – people could have left the CDC as well. 

A few moments after Jensen woke, Jared jerked awake as well, his breath coming out in shallow pants. It took him a minute to realize where he was, a small smile coming to his lips when he saw Jensen giving him that concerned look he’d gotten so used to seeing. “Morning,” he greeted, leaning in to press his lips to Jensen’s, not caring that someone could wake up and catch them at any moment. “How’d you sleep last night?”

Surprisingly, Jensen didn’t even worry about the fact that someone could see them if they happened to wake up, instead kissing Jared back with everything he had, fingers curling in Jared’s hair as he held him close. How did he sleep – odd question. Shrugging, Jensen answered, “I caught a few hours. How ‘bout you?”

Now, it was Jared’s turn to shrug, pushing himself to his feet as he gave himself a good stretch, his joints popping from sitting in one position for too long. “Like a baby,” he lied, smiling back at Jensen when Jensen gave him that look again. “Seriously, I had a few nightmares, but it was nothing serious. I was fine.” And he really didn’t want to talk about it. “So…do you know where we should be heading today? Because you know that they’re going to ask you. They look up to you. You’re like…our leader, or something.”

“I didn’t ask for that,” Jensen frowned as he got to his feet as well, moving towards the end of the van. If they were up, they might as well go raid what supplies they had since they needed to eat. “And I don’t know, honestly. I was thinking about maybe the CDC. What do you think?” If Jared agreed with him, then he would feel much more confident about his plan. After all, if Jared was willing to go into a hot zone where there could be hundreds of walkers, then Jensen didn’t feel like such a dick for suggesting that others do it.

Not wasting any time, Jared followed Jensen out of the van. He knew that Jensen hadn’t asked for this, and he knew that Jensen probably hated being responsible for other people’s lives. Not that Jared could blame him – he sure as hell wouldn’t have wanted that job either. However, when Jensen suggested the CDC, Jared stopped in his tracks, thinking it over. Really, it was a brilliant plan – it would mean food and shelter – safety. Well, as long as someone was still inside to let them in. That was really the only downside. If there wasn’t someone inside to open the doors, they would have nowhere else to go and be in the middle of a hot zone at night.

Still, Jared figured it was worth the risk. After all, they couldn’t stay here. And they would be on the road either way if this plan didn’t pull through, so there was no reason they shouldn’t try. “I think it’s a good plan,” Jared finally answered, smiling at Jensen. “It will be safe there. I mean, they keep things in all of the time, so it would only be reasonable that they could keep the dead out. I mean, as long as they’re still in there. And if they’ll open the doors. But, I mean, we’re on the road either way, so it’s worth a shot.”

Now that he had Jared on his side, he felt like the others would understand as well. “I guess we should get breakfast and get on the road,” Jensen said, smiling at Jared once more. He would have kissed him, but Danneel was crawling out of her tent, so he figured it was probably not a good idea. Instead, he moved towards their supplies, scaring up some breakfast for everyone as they all slowly got out of their tents.

He waited until after breakfast before he broke the news to the group. “I think we should head into the city,” Jensen explained, glancing around as he spoke to see everyone’s expressions. “The CDC to be more specific. I just…I think they can really give us what we need. Food, shelter, safety. They keep harmful things from getting out, so why couldn’t they keep harmful things from getting in?”

Although going into the city was a dangerous thing, the group was split on their decision. “You want to head right into a hot zone and risk the lives of every single one of us because of the slim possibility that there are still people inside that place?!” Tom asked, scoffing at Jensen when he just glared at him. “It’s a stupid idea! Heading right towards the walkers?! It’s fucking suicide, Jensen!”

And that was why Jensen hated Tom – well _part_ of the reason, anyway. “And so is staying here!” Jensen argued. “Sooner or later, the walkers are going to come back here looking for food. If you want to be here when that happens, then you’re welcome to stay. But I think we should all at least go there and _try_ to get some answers. It’s a lot better than sitting on our asses and waiting to be picked off one by one! And that’s exactly what’s going to happen if we stay!”

Before they knew what happened, a fight broke out. The people who agreed with Jensen were arguing with the people who didn’t. Jim, Samantha, and Jeffrey stayed out of it, rolling their eyes at the younger members as they talked civilly between themselves. “I think Jensen has a good point,” Jim suggested. “The CDC might have answers for us – might even be working on a cure. And it would be a lot safer than just moving from one location to another, which is our only other option.”

“I’m going to have to agree,” Samantha said, smiling softly at Jim. “Jensen’s a smart kid and I think we should give him a chance to lead us. I think he’ll keep us alive a lot longer than some other people in this group.” Samantha had liked Jensen ever since she met him, and she had faith that he would make the right decisions and keep them all safe. Apparently, Tom didn’t want Jensen to lead them – fighting him at every turn – but if she had to pick, she’d follow Jensen faster than she would follow Tom Welling. He was reckless more often than not, and when the shit hit the fan, he only thought of himself.

Both Samantha and Jim made good points –Jeffrey liked Jensen a lot, and he thought that he had leadership qualities for sure. But going into the city – an active hot zone – on a hunch? It was risky. And in this world, taking risks was frowned upon. It scared people and the consequences were far too great. Still, he was willing to back Jensen up on his plan. Because if this did pan out, they could be set. And honestly, Jeffrey was tired – he was tired of running and tired of being scared that when he walked away from the group, he was going to get eaten – he was just done. 

Whistling loudly, Jeffrey got the attention of the fighting group, frowning at everyone. “I think we should listen to Jensen. He has a good point. This could be the best option. I don’t know about everyone else, but I’d rather not be on the road trying to survive when there’s a potentially good facility that could be the answer to all of our problems in the city. It’s time we stop being scared and just do what’s best for ourselves.”

Jeffrey was the last person Jensen thought would be on his side. Not that he wasn’t going to take it. Smiling gratefully at Jeffrey, Jensen tossed his bowl into the bag and said, “It’s settled then. We’ll leave in fifteen minutes.” With that, Jensen headed towards the van once more, stopping beside Jeffrey. “Thank you,” he whispered, giving Jeffrey a small nod.

A small smile came to Jeffrey’s lips when Jensen thanked him. Slowly, Jeffrey placed his hand on Jensen’s shoulder, giving it a small squeeze. “Don’t get us all killed,” he teased, shoving Jensen gently away from him and chuckling when Jensen assured he was going to do his best.

Fifteen minutes later, everyone was piled into four different cars and they were all on their way to Houston. The drive there was pretty uneventful, only taking about half an hour. When they arrived, they all climbed out of their cars, sticking close together as they made their way to the building. It looked abandoned, but Jensen wasn’t willing to believe that. There was no way they drove out here and risked all of their lives for nothing. 

Just as Chad suspected, this was a bust. “There’s nobody here!” Chad assured them, keeping his eyes open for any walkers that might have spotted them. The last thing they needed was to get attacked here.

No, that couldn’t be possible. Jensen refused to believe it. “Then why are these shutters down?” Jensen asked, glancing around the area. There were bodies everywhere – some dead walkers and some just dead bodies that hadn’t reanimated. Someone had to have killed them all. It wasn’t like there was a machine gun that shot at anything that moved – if that had been the case, they would have all been gunned down as soon as they got close.

“Walkers!”Tom yelled before anyone could answer Jensen’s question. The sound of guns cocking could be heard all around him, but Jensen was tuning it out. Someone had to be in there. “You led us into a graveyard!” Tom accused, moving towards Jensen.

Jim didn’t let Tom get close before he stepped in front of him, Jared stepping beside Jim in an attempt to shield Jensen from Tom’s anger. “He made a call,” Jim reminded, glaring at Tom slightly. Jensen making the call was a hell of a lot more than Tom had done since they lost the high school.

Angrily, Tom argued. “It was the wrong damn call!” Quickly, he turned, firing off a shot at the closest walker. There were more coming, but they were all coming slowly, so they had time to move. But Jensen was just standing there staring at that damn door like it was going to magically open, or something.

Moving towards Tom, Christian ordered, “Just shut up. You hear me. Shut up. Shut up!” He wasn’t going to stand here and listen to that asshole accuse Jensen of trying to get them killed. No, he was going to get through to Jensen himself. “Jensen, this is a dead end,” he explained, his hand gripping Jensen’s T-shirt. “Do you hear me? No blame.”

Behind him, he heard Danneel ask where they were going to go, and he had a very similar question. Jared then piped up. “She’s right. We can’t be here – this close to the city after dark.” This was definitely a bust, but he wasn’t blaming Jensen. He had been on board with the plan too. But now they had to cut their losses and get the hell out of here.

This was getting out of hand. People were getting scared and it was obvious Jensen wasn’t in the right state of mind to keep them all calm. Back at camp, Steve had suggested that if the CDC didn’t pan out, they could head to Fort Worth – well, this hadn’t panned out. “Fort Worth, Jensen – it’s still an option,” Christian assured him, keeping his eyes locked to Jensen to see what his reaction would be. 

However, Sandy felt it necessary to point out that was going to be virtually impossible as well. “On what?” she asked, glancing around the area to make sure there were no walkers getting close enough to them. “No food, no fuel. That’s 200 miles.”

Now Misha felt like he needed to get into the conversation since Sandy was incorrect. “262,” he corrected, pulling Vicky closer to him so he didn’t lose track of her. After all, she was all he had left in the world at this point. “I checked the map.”

There was no point in arguing about something that wouldn’t help them out of their immediate situation. “Forget Fort Worth,” Jared snapped, eyes locking on Christian’s as they shared a moment of pure fear for the fact that Jensen wasn’t doing anything. “We need a plan _now_.”

Finally, Jensen turned his attention towards Jared, a small frown on his lips as he held his hand up in surrender. “We’ll think of something,” he promised, his attention turning right back to the shutters that were separating them from safety. Behind him, he could hear Chad and Misha saying they needed to get out of here, but he wasn’t ready. Christian was trying to get everyone to go back to the cars, but Jensen knew this wasn’t a dead end. This was their only way to stay alive.

As if God had been listening and he was sending them a sign, the camera moved. “The camera – it moved!” Jensen assured the group, keeping his eyes locked on the device. If it moved, then there had to be someone in there, right?

Although Jim wanted to believe Jensen, they didn’t have a lot of time. The walkers were closing in now and they only had so many bullets. “You imagined it,” he argued, giving his head a small shake.

“It moved,” Jensen assured Jim firmly, feeling a little insulted as he gave him a small glare. Turning his attention back to the camera, Jensen repeated, “It moved.” No one was opening the doors, but there were definitely people inside. Jensen couldn’t believe they were going to let them stay out here and die! Angrily, he started pounding on the shutters, hoping that if he drew enough attention to them, someone would open the door.

Christian couldn’t believe that Jensen was willing to make that much noise in the city like that. Again, he grabbed Jensen’s T-shirt, trying to get his attention away from the building. “Jensen, it is dead, man!” he tried to explain. “It’s an automated device. It’s gears, okay? They’re just winding down. Now come on.” Releasing Jensen, he turned his attention back to the group, only to grab Jensen once more when he started beating on the doors again. “Man, just listen to me! Look around this place. It’s dead okay? It’s dead. You need to let it go, Jensen!”

Not even listening to Christian, Jensen started pounding on the doors again. “Jensen, there’s nobody here!” Jared yelled, eyes ticking to Christian once more as he pleaded with him to just do something.

Again, Jensen pounded on the door – only once this time. “I know you’re in there,” he assured the camera, making sure to keep eye contact with the device. “I know you can hear me. Please, we’re desperate. Please help us. We have women, elderly, no food, hardly any gas left.”

Hearing Jensen begging for the doors to be opened like that broke Jared’s heart. Christian was ordering everyone to get back to the cars, but Jared wanted to at least try to get through to Jensen again. Besides, it wasn’t like anyone was actually leaving without Jensen anyway. Moving in front of Jensen, Jared pressed his hand to Jensen’s chest, holding him back away from the door. “Jensen. There’s nobody here,” he tried again, not surprised when Jensen just walked around him and continued speaking to the camera.

This was his last resort. There was nothing left in him. If the doors didn’t open, he didn’t know what they were going to do. “We have nowhere else to go,” Jensen continued. “Please.” When there was no response still, he hit the door again, hearing Christian ordering the group to keep their eyes open. “If you don’t let us in, you’re killing us! Please!”

That was enough. Christian wasn’t going to let his friend lose it like this. Moving through the crowd of people, Christian wrapped his arm around Jensen’s chest, pulling him backwards as he started moving towards the cars. “Come on, buddy, let’s go,” Christian instructed, continuing to walk even as Jensen fought him. “Let’s go.”

Jensen fought the arm around him pulling him away from safety – away from _all_ of their answers. “Please help us! You’re killing us!” As he felt his strength starting to slip and Christian was overpowering him, actually dragging him away from the doors, Jensen yelled once more, “You’re killing us!” He finally managed to break away and he yelled, moving towards the doors again, “You’re killing us!”

Before Jensen could make it back to the doors, Jared grabbed him, his hands cupping Jensen’s face as he pressed their foreheads together. He didn’t even care that other people were going to see them – he just had to get through to Jensen somehow. “Jensen, listen to me, please?” he begged, forcing Jensen to keep his eyes locked on Jared. “This is a lost cause. It was a good plan, but it didn’t work out. We need to find somewhere to go for the night. It’s not safe here.”

He knew Jared was right. And he knew that him pounding on the door probably wasn’t going to make a difference. But there was someone in there. “Jared, the camera moved,” he whispered, desperately trying to get Jared to understand. “It moved – that means there’s someone inside there. Somebody’s in there – I know it!”

This desperate, pleading Jensen really did break Jared’s heart. Slowly, he nodded, fingers curling in Jensen’s hair as he fought the urge to just plant one on him. “I know, Jensen. I believe you,” he whispered softly. “I do. But whoever’s in there isn’t opening the door. They’re not letting us in, and we’re standing out in here in an active hot zone with not a lot of ammunition. We have to leave, Jen, please? You know that.”

And he did. They couldn’t stay here and run the risk of being attacked. Sighing in defeat, Jensen nodded, turning towards the rest of the group and preparing to head for the cars. However, almost as soon as he turned around, the doors opened and a bright white light cut through the growing darkness, causing everyone to turn their attention towards the facility.


	12. Chapter Twelve

It had been three hundred and five days since this whole thing started. Mark Pellegrino and Robert Benedict had been the only two workers to stay at the CDC when the world fell. Mark had stayed because he’d promised his wife that he wouldn’t leave until he either figured out a cure or he absolutely had to abort the mission. Rob had been close friends with both Mark and his wife, so he decided that if Mark was going to stay here, then he wouldn’t leave his side. He knew what happened to people when they were alone for a long period of time – eventually Mark would have lost his mind more than likely due to the loneliness he would have felt. 

Three hundred and five days of sitting around and talking to each other between breakthroughs and testing the samples that they still had to work with. And in all of those days, nothing different had really happened. They had a routine and now it was being messed with. Now, there were people outside of their facility and they were begging to be let in. And Mark and Rob had no idea what to do about it. Beside him, Rob could hear Mark begging them to just go away, but they obviously couldn’t hear him – and it didn’t appear as though they had any intentions of listening, either.

Honestly, Rob had no idea if he was willing to open those doors. More people meant there was a greater risk of infection. If just one of those people out there had been bitten, they could wipe out the rest of the human race because as far as Rob and Mark knew, they were it. Letting people in was a huge risk, so he kind of agreed with Mark in that sense. However, on the other hand, they were _people_! The man who kept banging on the door – Jensen as they were all calling him – looked so desperate, and they all looked so lost. 

_“You’re killing us!”_ Rob heard Jensen call to the camera. And in a sense, that was true. There was a very slim chance of survival on the road. Hell, there was no guarantee they would all survive even if they stayed in here. Really, nowhere was safe. This place was safer than most, but that didn’t mean anything. Still, Mark hadn’t opened the doors, and it looked as though the people had finally taken a hint and they were leaving, but Rob just couldn’t get those words – the desperation on Jensen’s face – out of his head. Without thinking, Rob reached over and punched in the codes to open the main doors, eyes landing on Mark’s briefly before he grabbed his gun and headed towards the main room. A small smile came to his lips when he heard Mark grab his own gun and follow after him.

Jensen almost couldn’t believe that the doors were open. He’d thought for sure that whoever was inside was just going to let them stay out here and fend for themselves. Or that no one was in there and Christian had been right – the cameras were all on a timer and they were winding down. But the doors were open now and honestly, Jensen was a little worried about what they might be walking into. Naturally, with that thought in mind, he pushed to the front of the group and went in first. If something was waiting to harm them, Jensen wanted to be the first to know.

As soon as Jensen walked in, everyone followed after him, making sure to stick close together in case there was a threat. Before they could get too far inside, two men pulled guns on them, forcing them all to stop in their tracks. “Is anyone in your group bitten?” the taller man with lighter hair asked, keeping his gun trained on Jensen.

If these men had guns, Jensen assumed they meant business. And in a world like this, it was kind of hard not to, he supposed. “No,” he answered honestly, giving his head a small shake. He had been in close quarters with these people and none of them had shown any signs of infection. Someone would have told him if anyone had been sick – they would have been too afraid not to.

Glancing at the people behind Jensen, Mark continued, “If you all want in here, you have to agree to a blood test.” People could say they hadn’t been bitten just so they could pass through these doors, but Mark wasn’t going to risk it. He wanted test results to prove that no one had been wounded during any recent encounters they may have had.

A blood test was the only thing standing between them and safety, so Jensen wasn’t going to let it get the best of them. He knew no one was infected, so he had no problem submitting to a blood test. “That’s fine,” Jensen answered with a nod. “We have nothing to hide.” As soon as he agreed, the guns went down and the doors closed, separating them from the brutality of the world around them.

Everyone was taken back in groups of two or three until the two men – Mark and Rob – had a sample from each of the survivors. Once their blood was taken, everyone was sent to the kitchen where they were given food and cold drinks – including alcohol. After everything they had all been through, they didn’t skimp on the alcohol, everyone consuming more than they would have normally as they all just laughed and had a great time. Jensen made sure to toast their hosts, smiling at them both as he insisted, “You guys are awesome.”

Once dinner was over, Mark and Rob took the group on a tour of the building. “Everything here runs on generators,” Rob explained, smiling at everyone’s reactions as they felt the cold air coming from the vents and realized that they actually had electricity for the evening. “Now, I don’t know how much you all know about generators, but they don’t last forever, so take it easy on the hot water, folks.”

“Did he just say ‘hot water’?” Danneel asked, turning her attention to Sandy as they both got huge grins on their lips. It had been months since she had been able to enjoy a hot shower, so there was no way she wasn’t taking advantage of that. And she did just that – as soon as the tour was over, she headed in the direction of the showers, stopping only to grab Jensen on his way towards the rooms. “Jenny, do you wanna shower with me?” she asked, batting her eyelashes at him. “I thought we could have some time alone to…you know…talk. After everything that happened with the high school, I think we could both use it.”

Although Jensen’s next stop had been the showers, he hadn’t intended to go with Danneel. And he wasn’t going to break his plans just to accommodate her – he was done with that. “Not tonight, Danni,” Jensen said, taking her hand off his chest. “I’m just…not in the mood, okay?”

Before Danneel had a chance to protest, Jensen was already gone, around the corner and out of her reach. “You’re never in the mood anymore,” she complained to herself, turning on her heels and heading towards the showers alone. Just because Jensen didn’t want to shower with her didn’t mean she wasn’t going to take advantage of the hot water. Jensen could stink forever for all she cared. It wasn’t her problem. After all, it wasn’t like he actually spent any real time with her anyway.

Jared waited until Danneel was done with her shower to head into the room, taking the shower stall she had just been in and claiming it as his own. He hadn’t been in the stall for more than a few minutes before he felt someone stepping in behind him, strong arms wrapping around his waist and a warm body pressed against his back as lips closed over his pulse point. Jared didn’t even need to look to know who it was. “Mm…Jen…didn’t think you’d be joining me for this one,” he smiled, his hands closing over Jensen’s own.

Again, Jensen pressed his lips to Jared’s body, sucking a small mark onto his shoulder this time. “I couldn’t pass up the chance to see you naked,” he teased, kissing a trail over Jared’s back to his opposite shoulder. His hands slid up Jared’s abdomen to his pectorals, squeezing the muscles there before allowing his hands to slide back down to Jared’s hips, trailing kisses along his shoulder as he did so. “Love touching you,” he mumbled between kisses, pulling Jared impossibly closer.

God, it felt so good to have Jensen’s hands on his body like this. “Love it when you touch me,” he whispered softly, head turning slightly to the side so he could capture Jensen’s lips. It wasn’t the best kiss from the awkward angle, but it worked. Any time Jared got to plant one on Jensen was a good time – no matter what the angle. “You know, Rob and Mark told us not to waste the hot water,” he reminded when he broke the kiss. “You gonna wash me, or are you just gonna grope me?”

A small smile came to Jensen’s lips at Jared’s question, Jensen giving his head a small shake. “Can’t I do both?” he asked, grabbing the bar of soap and lathering up his hands. He knew that they couldn’t take as long as they had in the cottage when they were showering together, but at this point, Jensen would take anything he could get. He washed Jared in silence for a while before he finally whispered, “This place could be good for us. Like a home. It’s safe from walkers and it has electricity and hot water. There’s more food here than anyone could need in years – we could be safe here for a long time. At least until this thing passes over.”

Jared had to admit that he knew what Jensen was talking about. He felt safe here himself, which was definitely saying something. He hadn’t really felt safe anywhere since his parents and his family had been ripped from him, but he felt safe here and now. Especially being wrapped in Jensen’s arms – that helped a lot. “Yeah, we could be safe here,” he assured Jensen with a wide grin, ducking his head and pressing his lips to Jensen’s once more. The rest of the shower was done in silence, not that Jared minded – having Jensen wash him was enough to put him in a great mood, even without words. 

When they were finished with their showers, Jensen and Jared went their separate ways, knowing that it had been risky enough being in the shower together – they couldn’t walk to the same room together, too. So, although Jensen wanted nothing more than to follow Jared to his room and make love to him, Jensen knew he couldn’t, moving instead to the main room where he hoped to find Mark and Rob. After all, he needed to thank them again for letting them stay here. They’d taken a big risk opening that door for them, and Jensen was beyond grateful.  
After Jensen thanked Mark, who had been on his way to bed, Rob stayed behind to speak with Jensen a little longer. There was an awkward silence at first, but eventually, Jensen filled it with small talk. “So, what did you find in our blood?” Jensen asked, glancing at Rob as he puttered around with the computers.

“Nothing that I hadn’t expected to find,” Rob answered with a small shrug, his back still towards Jensen. Honestly, he felt bad for the man. He was so happy here and he thought that it was a permanent thing. Mark didn’t think that they should tell the group otherwise, but Rob didn’t want them to get comfortable and then have the rug torn out from under them again. So, he made an executive decision, and he’d deal with Mark later.

Sighing, he took a seat next to Jensen, glancing at him sympathetically. “I like you, Jensen,” Rob smiled, giving his head a small nod. “So I feel like I need to tell you something. This place – it all runs on generators. And those generators aren’t going to last forever. When the generators go, we have to also. So… don’t get too comfortable. This isn’t permanent – not for anyone, myself and Mark included.” 

With that, Rob slapped Jensen’s knee a few times before he headed off towards his own room, turning towards Jensen one more time. “You should get some sleep. You look like you could really use it.” Before he gave Jensen a chance to respond, he was gone, the soft snick of his door closing behind him the only testament that he was in his room.

**~~**

The next morning, everyone was regretting the fact that they had enjoyed themselves so much and went a little overboard with the alcohol the night before. Everyone was hung over and no one really wanted to be gathered around the computer system that Mark had insisted they all watch. But apparently, this was important, so they needed to watch it. Of course, he was being secretive about what it was though, so no one actually knew what this was about.

Angrily, Tom grumbled, “What is this all about?” He wasn’t a pleasant person when he was hung over and he sure as hell didn’t like surprises. At the moment, he would have much rather been in bed catching up on some long overdue sleep. And if he couldn’t be doing that, he could think of a number of things he would rather be doing other than standing here and waiting for Mark to tell them all some big secret. For instance, he could be with Jared right now trying to get him to understand that they were meant to be together because it was so very obvious that they were.

Although Mark didn’t feel like he owed anyone an explanation, Jensen had asked what they knew about this virus, so Mark wanted to answer the question to the best of his ability. “It has come to my attention that a few of you wanted to know more about this virus that has apparently swept the Earth like a plague. And while we don’t know much, we do know some.” Typing something into the keyboard, Mark turned everyone’s attention towards the screen where there was a picture of a person who seemed to be sick. “This is Test Subject 24,” he explained, a small frown on his face. “She was the most recent here to come down with the sickness.”

He waited a moment before he continued with the explanation. “She had gone out to collect more samples so we could study them in our attempts to find a cure. It had been a quiet day – none of those things had been anywhere that we could see, so we thought it was safe. Within minutes, we were overrun – she didn’t make it into the compound in time. One of those things bit her arm before she could close the doors. So…she donated her body to science and we watched her die. The point, as you asked Mr. Welling, is to let you all know what happens to a person once they are bitten.”

Flipping to another slide, Mark continued, “Within the first hour, there was pain and discoloration around the area where she had been bitten. The wound was a brown-purple color and it had already clotted. By the fifth hour, the fever had set in – her temperature was 102 degrees. Chills wracked her body and she was suffering from slight dementia. There was some vomiting and acute pain in her joints as well.” Again, he flipped to another slide, his eyes softening at the photo on the screen. “Eight hours into the infection and she had lost most feeling in her extremities and she had no feeling of the infected area. Her fever had increased to 106 degrees, and her dementia worsened. She also lost some of her muscular coordination.”

Another photo appeared on the screen when Mark switched the slide once more. “By the eleventh hour, her lower body was suffering from paralysis and the rest of her body was continuing to go numb. Her heart rate had also slowed down immensely.” Again, the picture on the screen changed, the woman getting sicker and sicker as the slides went on. “Sixteen hours after being bitten, she fell into a coma which she stayed in for another four hours until her heart finally stopped and there was no brain activity.”

Mark sighed as he hit the button one last time, the picture of the woman now showing a walker. “Twenty three hours after she was infected – three hours after she finally passed away – her body reanimated itself and she needed to be put down,” Mark concluded, head hung so he wouldn’t have to look at the screen. The woman in the video had been his wife, and it was bad enough he’d had to watch it happen the first time – he didn’t need to see it again. 

It was clear that Mark was upset, but Jared wanted to know more. He figured the more they knew about the disease – or whatever they were calling it now – the better chance they had of fighting it. “So…how does this thing make the dead walk?” Jared asked, licking his lips as he waited for his answer. “Does it…restart the brain, or something?”

Because he could see how stressful this whole thing was on his friend, Rob decided to answer Jared’s question so Mark wouldn’t have to. “This virus jumpstarts the brainstem,” Rob explained. “But the human part, that doesn’t come back.” Sighing, Rob admitted, “We don’t know what causes it to happen, and unfortunately, we’ve lost contact with the other facilities. Mark and I stayed back to work on finding a cure, but so far, there’s nothing we’ve found that can stop it.” Glancing up at the group, his eyes falling mainly on Jensen, Rob concluded, “I’m sorry.”

With that, Rob led Mark out of the room so he could have some privacy to mourn his wife’s death. Sure, it had happened almost three months ago, but it was still hard on him. When two people were as in love as Mark and Tracy, it was going to take more than a few months to get over the loss. And he didn’t feel like these newcomers needed to be around when Mark was so upset – he deserved some peace so he could cry if he needed to without being stared at like some sideshow. 

“This is just great,” Danneel complained, crossing her arms over her chest. “They have no idea how to stop this. What are we supposed to do when they start breaking through these walls and they get to us again?” Of course, she knew that it would probably be a while before that happened since this was the CDC, but it was still possible. Those things weren’t to be underestimated – she’d done that while she thought she was safe in the high school and she’d lost her best friend because of it.

Although Jensen didn’t think it was going to happen, he supposed that they needed to be prepared for it. Then again, last night Rob had come out and told him there was no way they could stay here forever. Who the hell knew how much power the generators still had – especially with this many people using them. But Jensen wasn’t ready to think about that. He had to focus on keeping them here as long as possible and keeping everyone safe. “We’ll figure it out,” Jensen assured her with a small nod. “Right now, I think we should all just try to enjoy ourselves while we’re safe. Because for the moment, we are safe. It’s definitely something that should be celebrated.”

Rolling her eyes, Danneel complained, “That’s always your answer Jensen! We’ll figure something out. Why don’t we figure it out now so we can be prepared for when it actually happens? Or do you like losing people?” Sure, it was a low blow, but she had needed him last night and he blew her off. She had needed him to comfort her because she’d lost the woman who had been her best friend since grade school, and instead of being with her, Jensen had been off doing something else. So yeah, Danneel deserved to be a bitch.

Angrily, Jensen hissed, “If you think you can do a better job keeping the people in this group alive, then by all means, do it!” He hadn’t asked for this. Jensen didn’t want the lives of all of these people sitting on his conscience. But for some reason, they all looked to him to keep them alive, and as far as he was concerned, he was doing a pretty damn good job. Sure, they’d lost a few people when the high school had been overrun, but this was basically a war – people died! And if Danneel wanted to be a bitch over Genevieve’s death, then Jensen was going to let her do it. But he wasn’t going to sit back and take it like he’d done the entire time they had been together. 

Now, he turned his attention to the whole group, knowing that there were people here who had the same opinions as Danneel. “All of you look to me to keep you alive and then when something goes wrong, you all _blame_ me! If anyone thinks they can do a better job than I am, step up. I didn’t ask for this, but you all just assume that I’m going to be your leader. So let me do it my way and quit your bitching!”

With that, Jensen walked off, not sure exactly where he was going, but just needing to get away from everyone. It wasn’t often that he blew up, but when he did, he always needed to go and cool off somewhere so he didn’t do anything stupid. He just wished that he had grabbed the bottle of Jack everyone had been enjoying last night because he sure as hell wouldn’t have turned down a drink. 

In a few minutes, he found himself in Jared’s room, closing the door behind him as he sighed, flopping onto the bed. Jensen honestly couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this exhausted. Trying to keep a group of people alive was exhausting. After just a few moments, Jensen heard the door open and pulled himself up onto his elbows to see who was coming into the room. He sighed once more and fell back onto the mattress when he saw that it was only Jared. 

A small smile came to Jared’s lips when he saw that Jensen was sitting on his bed. “Hey,” he smiled, slowly climbing onto the mattress beside Jensen. “I thought you might have come in here.” When Jensen gave him that cute little confused look he got when he had no idea where Jared came up with his ideas, Jared smiled again. “It’s the only place you can hide where Danneel wouldn’t think to look for you. And that’s what you’re doing, right? Hiding from Danneel?”

“And everyone else,” Jensen admitted, rolling onto his side and grabbing Jared by the wrist, tugging him down so that he was laying on the bed with him before he wrapped his arm around Jared’s waist. “I only want to be with you right now,” Jensen whispered into Jared’s ear, nibbling on his earlobe. “I don’t know what they want from me. They wanted a safe place, and I got them that. Now, they’re saying it’s not what they want and I don’t know what to do.”

Again, Jared smiled, giving his head a small shake. “It’s only Danneel who’s saying it’s not safe,” Jared argued. “And what the hell does she know? This place is the _CDC_ , Jensen. They’ve kept things in here that could wipe out an entire continent. What makes anyone think they can’t keep something out?” Tilting his head so that he could capture Jensen’s lips, Jared slowly pushed his tongue into Jensen’s mouth, massaging his tongue with his own. “It’s safe here. We can stay here and be just fine.”

When Jared said they could stay here, Jensen remembered the conversation he’d had with Rob the night before and that he hadn’t told Jared about it. Really, he hadn’t planned on telling anyone about it until he knew for sure that it was true, but he couldn’t lie to Jared. “Yeah…about that,” he started, slowly pushing himself to his elbows once more. “I was talking to Rob last night and he told me that this isn’t permanent. He said that the generators that are giving us power won’t last forever and when they’re out of juice, we all have to go – including Rob and Mark.”

Fear sliced through Jared when Jensen told him this wasn’t permanent. For the first time in months, he felt safe – securely, one hundred percent safe – and now Jensen was telling him they couldn’t stay. But he couldn’t show how scared he was. He had to pretend that this was all fine because he didn’t want to make Jensen feel like he’d failed them – everyone else was already doing a bang up job of that. “Hey, we’ll figure something out, okay?” he assured Jensen, a small frown on his lips. He could tell how stressed out Jensen was from all of this.

It took everything he had in him for Jensen to smile at Jared and even then it didn’t reach his eyes. “Yeah, I hope so,” Jensen managed, falling back onto the mattress and tugging Jared against him again. Having Jared here helped him a lot. It seemed like he always knew just what to say to make Jensen feel better. Honestly, Jensen had no idea how Jared managed it, but he sure as hell was grateful for it.

Jared could tell that his little reassurance did little to make Jensen feel better. But he had a feeling he knew what could make Jensen feel differently – even if it was just for a little while. “If I do something to you, are you gonna freak out?” Jared asked, a small smile on his lips as he looked over at Jensen. His smile widened when Jensen shook his head, dimples denting his cheeks. “Good,” he whispered, rolling on top of Jensen and crushing their lips together once more. He gently pushed Jensen’s hands off him when he touched him, giving his head a small shake. “Not what I had in mind,” he explained, slowly sliding down Jensen’s body until his mouth was level with Jensen’s dick.

Without hesitating, Jared ripped open Jensen’s jeans, thumbs tucking beneath the waistband of both jeans and boxers as he tugged them off Jensen’s hips, smiling up at Jensen when he lifted his hips to make Jared’s task easier, his hand fisting in Jared’s hair. Jared managed to keep the smile on his lips as he dipped his head, sucking just the tip of Jensen’s cock into his mouth. The pure pleasure he saw on Jensen’s face just from the small action had Jared’s insides warming up, heat shooting throughout his entire body. Words couldn’t describe how good it felt to know he could make Jensen feel this way.

When Jared took his cock into his mouth, Jensen bit into his bottom lip to keep from crying out. Fuck, it felt so damn good. But they had no idea where everyone else was, and he didn’t want to be too loud and draw attention to them. Of course, that plan kind of flew out the window when Jared took more of his dick into his mouth, allowing Jensen to bottom out against the back of his throat. The second Jared swallowed around him and Jensen felt Jared’s throat working against the head of his dick, Jensen lost it, a deep moan breaking from his throat. “Fuck…Jay,” he breathed, his fingers massaging Jared’s scalp where his hand was tightly fisted in Jared’s hair still.

As Jared continued to work Jensen’s cock with his mouth and tongue, he slowly started playing with Jensen’s balls with one hand, rolling them in his palm teasingly. Jensen jerked on his hair in surprise and Jared found that he actually liked it – honestly, the light rough treatment turned him on. That was something they were going to have to explore further when they actually had time to have sex. Right now though, this was perfect. Jared could already feel Jensen’s body relaxing, all of the tension just bleeding out of his muscles as Jared continued to work him over.

With the way Jared was sucking and fondling him, Jensen knew there was no way he was going to be able to last very long. Already he could feel heat pooling low in his belly, his balls heavy and about to explode at any minute. “Jay…baby…m’gonna come,” he warned, tugging at Jared’s hair once more. “Baby, c’mon.” When Jared refused to pull off and just swat Jensen’s hand away, he stopped trying, another loud shout escaping him as he shot his load into Jared’s mouth.

Much to his surprise, Jared swallowed down everything he gave him like a damn champ. Honestly, he was a little impressed. He was about to offer to return the favor, but a gasp from the doorway drew both his and Jared’s attention to the noise. Fuck – Misha was standing there and Jensen had no idea how much he’d actually seen. “Misha,” he started, only to have Misha cut him off.

“I…um…I was just coming to make sure you were okay,” Misha explained, turning his gaze away from the intimate moment that he had obviously walked in on. “I didn’t see… anything.” God, this was awkward. “I’m just gonna… go.” With that, Misha turned and started down the hallway. 

Quickly, Jensen yanked his pants back up, giving Jared an apologetic look before he chased after Misha. He wasn’t ready for people to know yet – Misha needed to understand that. “Misha, hey, wait!” he called after his friend, catching up to him and stepping in front of him to force him to stop walking. “Listen…what you saw back there – you can’t tell anyone. Okay? Please, just keep this to yourself. An-And Vicky – I mean, you guys are married and I know how that goes – but no one else. Please?”

More than anything, Misha just wanted to forget what he saw. Jensen was his friend and everything, but he hadn’t wanted to see that much of him – _ever_. “Look, Jen,” Misha started, clapping a hand on Jensen’s shoulder. “I’m not gonna tell anyone – well, except Vicky, obviously – about what I saw. It’s your business. And when you want people to know – _if_ you want people to know – it should be your decision. Your secret is safe with me, man.”

Relief washed through Jensen when Misha assured him that he wasn’t going to blab. “Thank you,” he smiled, pulling Misha in for a quick hug. He smiled at Misha as he walked down the hall, presumably going to find Vicky. More and more people were starting to find out about him and Jared, so Jensen knew that it wasn’t going to stay a secret for very long. But he really wasn’t ready. He needed to figure out how he was going to tell Danneel – sure, she had been acting bitchy and doing nothing but annoying him recently, but he still cared about her. He’d spent ten years of his life with her, so there were obviously feelings. It just didn’t compare to how he felt for Jared.

Sighing, Jensen headed down the hallway towards Jared’s room again. He made sure to close the door behind him as he crawled into the bed with Jared once more, curling into Jared’s side and pressing his forehead against Jared’s belly. “Misha said he’s not going to tell anyone,” Jensen said. “But I know we’re going to have to soon. I’m working on it, okay? I just…I don’t know how to tell her without hurting her. And yeah, she’s been bitchy lately, but she just lost her best friend. And…I’ve been shitty to her, too. I just…I have to think of something, all right?”

Before Jensen could say anything else, Jared shushed him, fingers running through his short-cropped hair. “Hey, I said I’d wait, and I will,” he reminded him. “I’ll give you all the time you need. As long as you’re not sleeping with her, I don’t care if everyone – including Danneel – thinks that the two of you are together. Because I know that you’re with me. And that’s enough for me until you’re ready for other people to know.”

A wide smile came to Jensen’s lips at Jared’s answer. Slowly, he lifted his head, giving it a small shake. He almost couldn’t believe how amazing Jared was being about this whole thing. If their roles had been switched, Jensen knew he couldn’t be so cool about this. “You’re amazing,” he breathed. “Has anyone ever told you that?”

Jared laughed softly when Jensen complimented him, shaking his head. “You may have mentioned it once or twice,” he answered, moaning softly when Jensen crushed their lips together once more, tongues tangling in a deep, passionate kiss.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Alcohol was beginning to become a theme with them. Every time they all sat around to have dinner, there was always some kind of alcoholic beverage moving around the table. Not that Jensen was complaining in the least. When there was alcohol, everyone was off his case about coming up with a plan. Jensen didn’t have a plan, and he wasn’t about to come up with one in a matter of a few hours – he wasn’t superman! And everyone was having a great time, so he really couldn’t complain. Even Danneel was getting in on the action, which meant she would probably pass out later because she couldn’t hold her alcohol. That just meant that he got to spend the night with Jared and not be argued with about it.

Sure enough, right after dinner, Danneel headed to her room and stayed there for most of the night, completely ignoring Jensen on her way there. Maybe she was mad at him – again, he didn’t much care. That would only make it easier when he told her about his and Jared’s relationship. Just thinking about it had a smile coming to Jensen’s lips. He really cared for Jared – hell, he _loved_ Jared, and he knew Jared felt the same way. It was only a matter of time before Jensen was ready to tell everyone. Hell, half of the group already knew by this point, anyway. Anyone who couldn’t see it was either not paying attention, or they were in denial.

The rest of the survivors branched off into smaller groups as the night went on, leaving Jensen and Jared alone at the table. “What are your plans for the evening?” Jared asked Jensen, his hand pressing against Jensen’s knee under the table. “Because I was thinking since Danneel is passed out in her room probably for the rest of the night, you could stay with me. I’m much better company than she is anyway.”

A small chuckle escaped Jensen when Jared insulted Danneel. Those two had never gotten along, so it didn’t surprise him that they hated each other even during the apocalypse. “That’s funny,” he commented, smirking at Jared as he leaned in closer. “I was thinking the same exact thing.” Leaning in, he pressed a deep kiss to Jared’s lips, moaning softly when the grip Jared had on his thigh tightened. There was no one around, so he wasn’t worried about showing this sort of affection. In a few days’ time, he was going to be spilling the beans about his and Jared’s relationship anyway, so it didn’t really matter now. 

When the kiss broke, Jensen smiled at Jared as Jared stood, waiting for Jensen to do the same. “You should head off before me,” he instructed, leaning back in his chair and getting comfortable. “I want to make sure Danneel isn’t going to wake up and come looking for me. I’ll be in your room in a few hours. And I was thinking that I could return the favor from last night since we got interrupted.” Smiling, he added, “Besides, if you walk away first, I can watch your ass wiggle in those jeans.”

At Jensen’s comment about his ass, Jared burst out laughing. “You’re such a pervert,” Jared complained, though it was obvious he wasn’t actually upset about it. Slowly, he placed his hands on the arms of Jensen’s chair, leaning in and pressing their lips together before he turned and walked away. If Jensen was going to hide from Danneel for a while, Jared was going to take a shower and hopefully wake himself up a little bit so he didn’t fall asleep before Jensen was able to return that favor.

Once Jared was out of his line of vision, Jensen sighed, that same goofy smile on his lips that he always seemed to get whenever he thought about Jared. Seriously, the kid was doing something to him – Jensen just needed to figure out what his secret power was so he could do the same to Jared. He shouldn’t have to be the only goofy one here. Shaking his head, he pushed himself off of the chair, heading towards the main room where he figured he would find Rob. The man had good information and Jensen wanted to know as much about these undead freaks as he could. 

**~~**

Jared had taken a cold shower to jolt his body back to the land of the living, so he hadn’t been under the water for very long before he accomplished his task and climbed out. Of course, that meant that he had a lot of time to kill before Jensen came to see him, which kind of sucked. So, he figured this was a perfect time to check out Rob and Mark’s library. He’d overheard Rob bragging to Jensen about the extensive collection of books they had managed to grab before they stopped going outside. Jared wanted to know exactly what they had and if anything was worth it, maybe take some reading material for himself until they all had to leave – he needed something to keep him busy, after all.

He’d found a few titles that seemed worthy of reading when he heard the door closing. At first, he thought Jensen had found him in here on his way to Jared’s room and they were going to chance doing it against the bookshelves; however, as soon as he turned around, he realized how wrong he was. “Tom,” he said, hiding his obvious disappointment. “What are you doing in here?” As far as Jared knew, Tom hadn’t read a book since grade school. 

“I thought I might find you here,” Tom answered with a small smile. “I remembered when we were together, you spent most of your time in the library, so this is the first place I checked when you weren’t in your room.” Another smile came to his lips as he moved further into the room, taking a look at the book Jared had in his hands. “Is that a good one?” he asked, not really knowing anything about it. Tom wasn’t exactly a big reader.

Although he couldn’t be one hundred percent sure, Jared had a feeling Tom hadn’t come here to talk about books. Still, he was going to answer the initial question since it was only polite. “I don’t know,” Jared answered with a shake of his head. “I haven’t read it yet.” Before Tom could try to carry on a conversation about the books that Jared knew he didn’t care about, Jared tested, “But you didn’t come here to talk about books, did you?” And just as he had assumed, Tom shook his head. “So…what do you want?”

Taking a few steps closer to Jared, Tom explained, “I just wanted to see you. I was hoping that maybe you’d reconsidered my offer to be with me again.” He closed the distance between himself and Jared then, cupping Jared’s cheek gently. “I _really_ hope that you have. I mean, think about how good we were together – I know you remember.” Pressing his body closer, a soft moan escaped him as he added, “You know we could have been even better if you would have just let me have you the way I wanted. It could have been great, Jared. I can show you now.”

Not allowing Tom to get another word in, Jared shoved him back. Feeling every part of Tom pressed against him like that was not something he wanted. The only person allowed to be that close was Jensen. Jared didn’t care if Tom got hard just thinking about how good they could have been together because it was never going to happen. And Jared had been clear about that from the beginning when they had been together in college – he didn’t allow anyone to top him – _ever_ – not since Jensen. Of course, now Jensen was the exception, but he wasn’t going to tell Tom that. “I said no, Tom,” Jared stated firmly. “How many times do I have to say it before you finally believe it and let it go?”

No – it was always no with Jared. Well, Tom didn’t know who Jared was holding out for, but he knew for a fact that there was no way Jared would get anyone better in this shitty excuse for a world now. And honestly, he was a little tired of hearing the word no coming from Jared’s pretty little lips. “I’m never going to believe it, Jared,” Tom answered, giving his head a small shake. “I know you want this as much as I do. I just don’t understand why you’re holding out. Just let me have you.”

Again, Tom tried to press against Jared, but Jared shoved him away before he could fully finish the task, this time putting more force behind it. “I said no,” he reiterated, a deep frown on his lips. “Jesus, Tom, what’s gotten into you? Can’t you just take no for an answer and move on? There are plenty of other people here who I’m sure would want to be with you.” Sure, their numbers were depleting, but if Tom gave Danneel a few more weeks, Jared didn’t doubt she’d have sex with him. And Jared was sure that was all this was about – Tom wanted to get his dick wet and Jared was his choice for the month. Well, Jared wasn’t interested.

Now, Tom was starting to get angry. He wasn’t going to let Jared treat him this way. “Stop it, Jay!” he ordered, moving in close and grabbing Jared’s wrists when he tried to push him away. “I know that you want to be with me, too. You’re just not allowing yourself to admit it for some reason.” Roughly, Tom shoved Jared into the bookcases behind them, leaning in to press a kiss to Jared’s lips. Unfortunately, Jared turned his head at the last minute and Tom ended up kissing Jared’s cheek instead, lips trailing down to nip and kiss at Jared’s jaw. “Playing hard to get is only cute for so long, Jared. Then it just becomes annoying.”

Roughly, Jared shook Tom’s hands off his wrists, pushing him away again. “I’m not playing hard to get,” Jared assured him with a shake of his head, moving away from the bookcases in case Tom tried to trap him there again. “I just don’t want to be with you.” Unfortunately, Jared didn’t get very far before Tom was blocking his space again. “I’m serious, Tom – stop it! I’m not interested in you anymore. We didn’t work the first time, so there’s not going to be a second time.”

With each word that Jared spoke, Tom just became angrier and angrier. He didn’t understand why Jared wouldn’t take the chance and give them another shot. They were supposed to be together – both of them being alive this long was proof of that as far as Tom was concerned. When Jared tried to pass by him, he blocked his path again, frowning when Jared seemed to get upset by it. “No, there is going to be a second time,” Tom assured Jared. “You have to just get over your fear of not letting anyone get close to you. Jay, I can make you feel so good. I’ll show you.”

Before Jared could protest, Tom had him shoved against the bookcases again, his hands shoving up under Jared’s shirt. “Ow, stop it!” Jared ordered, shoving Tom’s hands off of him. But it felt like Tom had suddenly grown more limbs and Jared couldn’t keep his hands away. “Get off of me, Tom! Now!” When Tom didn’t listen, Jared gathered all of the strength he could muster at this angle and shoved Tom away – hard. 

Being shoved away only made Tom angrier than Jared’s words had. “You want me Jared,” he assured Jared as he moved back in, shoving Jared’s hands away from him when they tried to keep him at bay. Jared took a swing, but Tom dodged it, pulling his fist back and letting it fly forward, landing a solid hook against Jared’s jaw, splitting Jared’s lip. While Jared was disoriented, Tom grabbed his arm and flipped him around so that his back was facing him. “You’re going to realize that you want me, Jared. Even if I have to show you by force.”

Jared barely had time to throw his hands out in front of him so he didn’t smash his face against the bookcase. He didn’t want this and he almost couldn’t believe that Tom was going this far to get what he obviously wanted. “Tom, don’t!” Jared ordered, struggling to get away. Tom’s fingers were digging into the tender flesh of his hips, leaving bruises no doubt. He needed to get out of here. If he could get out of this library and to his room, he knew he’d be safe. Never in a million years did he think Tom would do something like this – but here was the evidence, right in front of his face and he was shocked. 

He cried out softly in pain when Tom kicked his feet apart, Jared trying his best to struggle and make Tom’s task as hard as possible until he thought of a plan to get himself out of this. Finally, an idea struck and Jared ran with it. “Tom, w-wait,” he pleaded as Tom’s fingers worked at the fastenings of Jared’s jeans. “You were right. I-I do want to be with you. But-But not like this.” Tom’s fingers stopped moving against the fastenings of Jared’s jeans and the grip he had on Jared’s hips loosened a little, which prompted Jared to keep going. Tom was obviously buying it. “When I’m with someone, I like to see their face. Just…let me turn around and it can be so much better. Please?”

Air ghosted across Jared’s neck and jaw when Tom let out a breathy chuckle. “I knew you were just teasing me,” Tom assured Jared, gripping his bicep and turning Jared around so they were facing each other. “Is that what you wanted, baby?” he asked, smiling softly at Jared. “Tell me again how good it’s going to be, Jared – wanna hear it comin’ from those pretty lips of yours.”

“Fuck you!” Jared spat, grabbing Tom’s shoulders and holding him in place as he brought his knee up, connecting with Tom’s crotch. As soon as Tom doubled over in pain, Jared pushed him away again, not caring that he stumbled and fell onto his side. For all Jared cared, Tom could hit his damn head and die at this point. He didn’t look back as he raced from the library and to his room, slamming the door closed behind him and pressing his back against it, using his body weight to keep any unwanted visitors out since there was no lock.

His breaths were coming out in shallow pants as he felt hot tears running down his cheeks. He felt dirty although he’d just gotten out of the shower less than an hour ago. There was no doubt a large bruise on his cheek and he knew his lip was split open – Jensen wasn’t going to miss that. The thought had more tears spilling down Jared’s cheeks. He wanted to be with Jensen now, but he had no idea where to look. And he sure as hell wasn’t going out there and running the risk of Tom catching him alone again. Besides, Jensen said he would be in here when he thought Danneel had been passed out long enough, so Jared just had to wait it out. Soft hiccupping breaths escaped him as he moved away from the door and towards the bed, taking a seat on the edge before he flopped back onto the mattress, hiding his face in the pillow and counting the seconds until Jensen got here.

**~~**

Not long after Jared had left, Jensen had found Rob sitting in the main room alone. Mark had called it an early night and Rob was just going over the slides that held Jensen’s group members’ blood samples. “What’d you find in there, Doc?” Jensen asked, breaking the silence. Sure, he’d asked before and Rob had said nothing that he hadn’t expected to find, but that was a little vague in Jensen’s opinion. If there was something in their blood, Jensen figured he had a right to know about it – well, what was found in _his_ blood, anyway.

A small smile came to Rob’s lips at Jensen’s question. It wasn’t even a funny question—it was only the nickname. Rob was far from a doctor – he was a scientist. But he didn’t think it was really too important to correct Jensen’s mistake since titles were pretty much useless these days. “Like I said before – nothing I hadn’t expected to find,” Rob answered, pulling his attention from the slides towards Jensen. “What can I do for you, Jensen?”

Jensen’s eyes narrowed slightly when Rob gave him the same answer as before. “Yeah, that’s kind of a vague answer,” he pushed, licking his lips as he watched Rob’s demeanor change. “I just want to know some specifics. I mean, I probably won’t understand what any of it means because Health and Science weren’t exactly my best subjects in school, but I can try.” For some reason, he had a feeling that Rob was hiding something and he didn’t like it. Secrets were dangerous when it came to a world like this – it got people killed.

It was clear that Jensen was fishing for something, but Rob wasn’t sure he was ready to share the information he’d found. Hell, he wasn’t even sure he was ready to believe what he’d found. If it was true, that meant they were all doomed. And sure, he and Mark had that theory before Jensen and his group came here, but seeing the evidence so clearly in their blood only proved their theory correct, and Rob wasn’t ready for that.

Then again, on the other hand, he wasn’t sure he could lie to Jensen about it either. The man had been so nice and sincere since the moment they opened those doors for him and his people. Lying to him just didn’t feel right. But how did you tell someone that as far as they knew – and tests had proven this theory to be true – that there was no way to stop them from becoming the thing that they spent most of their time now running from? How did you tell someone that even if they weren’t bitten or scratched that they were going to turn into a lamebrain when they died unless there was some sort of trauma to the head?

After a few more moments, Rob decided that it would be wrong to lie to Jensen. If Jensen decided to tell his people about this, that was his decision – Rob didn’t really know too much about the rest of them since Jensen had been the only one he really interacted with on a daily basis. “Jensen, what we found in your blood,” he started, giving his head a small shake, “it’s not what you want to hear. And not just your blood, but everyone’s. You’re not going to like the results.” Before Jensen could say anything, Rob continued, “You’re all infected. _We’re_ all infected. Mark and I have tested our own blood samples as well and we’ve got it in our systems, too.”

“So, what does that mean?” Jensen asked, a deep frown on his lips. “Are we all going to turn into those things? Is that what you’re telling me?” Deep down, some part of Jensen had always been afraid of that, but he hadn’t said anything to anyone about it. Now to learn that his deepest, darkest fear was going to be a reality at some point – it was just a little overwhelming.

A small frown came to Rob’s lips at Jensen’s question, Rob giving his head a small shake. “Only if we die,” he explained, hoping that would at least help Jensen with his mini panic attack. “And as long as someone shoots us in the head before we reanimate, or if our death is caused by traumatic injury to the brain, then no, we’ll just…well, die.” Seeing that Jensen was somewhat calmer after this new information, Rob added, “I’m not going to tell the rest of your group. I think that it would be an unnecessary bit of information that will only cause chaos. If you want to let them all know, that’s up to you. But they won’t hear any of it from me.”

With that, Rob clapped Jensen on the shoulder and headed towards the door. “I should get some sleep,” he explained, smiling softly at Jensen when he merely nodded. “You should too. I’m not exactly sure how much longer we have with the generators, so we could be out there on the road again within a few days. The more rest you get, the better chance we all have of surviving.”

More than anything, Jensen wanted to get some sleep. But how was he supposed to do that when Rob had just dropped a bombshell like that on him?! A part of him wished that he had just left it alone – then he wouldn’t know that they were all infected and everything would be fine. Now though, it was in his head and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. He didn’t think everyone else needed to know about it. Rob was right – it would cause unnecessary panic and their group was already freaking out because they didn’t think these walls were going to hold. But Jensen needed to tell _someone_. He couldn’t keep this bottled up.

Jared – he was waiting for Jensen to come spend the night with him, and he was the perfect person to tell about this. After all, Jared had been with him all of the way since they met up at that gun store. Jared never questioned Jensen, and that was what he needed right now. Quickly, Jensen headed into Jared’s room, making sure to be as quiet as he possibly could. After all, he had spent a lot more time talking to Rob than he had initially intended to and it was very possible that Jared was sleeping by now.

When he walked into the room, the overhead light was off, but the lamp beside Jared’s bed was still on, so Jensen wasn’t sure what to think since Jared’s back was turned towards him. “Jay,” he whispered, moving towards the bed and climbing in behind Jared, his arm wrapping around Jared’s waist. “Are you still awake, baby?”

At first, when he felt the arm wrap around him, Jared tensed, unable to help his body’s natural response after what had just happened to him even though he knew it was Jensen and not Tom. Although normally, he would have turned and faced Jensen, tonight he didn’t want to run the risk of Jensen seeing his busted lip. Sure, he knew Jensen was eventually going to see it, but he didn’t want it to be just yet. “Yeah,” he whispered instead, his voice raspy from crying. “I’m still awake.”

Something wasn’t right. Jared sounded like he was crying. But that couldn’t be right because there was no reason for Jared to cry as far as Jensen knew – at least not yet. Maybe after he learned about the secret Rob and Mark were keeping from them, but not now. Frowning deeply, Jensen scooted a bit closer to Jared, holding him tightly against his body. “What’s wrong?” he asked, lips trailing over Jared’s neck down to his shoulder. “Are you crying?” When Jared didn’t answer and just shrugged slightly as he shook his head, Jensen frowned deeper. “Jared, tell me what’s wrong. I know you’re crying. Why? What happened?”

Again, Jared just shook his head and tried to brush it off. “It’s nothing,” Jared answered, sniffling softly. “I’m just…worried about everything that’s going on with the generators.” Sure, it was a lie and Jared wasn’t sure if Jensen would buy it, but it was worth a shot at least. “Can we just forget about it? I’m tired. Just wanna go to sleep. Please?”

Now he was lying? Something _really_ wasn’t right. The other night, Jared had been calm about the generators – hell, he’d calmed Jensen down when he was freaking out – so this had nothing to do with that. “Jared, no, we’re not going to forget about it,” he argued, shaking his head as he pushed himself up onto one elbow, staring down at Jared. “You’re lying. It’s not the generators. Tell me what happened.” When Jared just sat there silently, Jensen gripped his arm and turned him so they were facing each other, not caring that Jared was fighting him. If something was wrong, Jensen wanted to know.

What he was met with had Jensen seeing red. Jared’s eyes were puffy and red from crying. His lip was split open and there was a bruise forming on Jared’s cheek. “Oh my God, Jared,” Jensen breathed, his hands sliding down Jared’s sides, frowning deeply when he saw the sliver of skin where Jared’s shirt was riding up. There were also bruises on Jared’s hips – bruises that were shaped a lot like fingers. “What happened, baby? Who the hell did this to you?”

It was all out in the open now – Jensen knew something had happened, and Jared wasn’t going to lie. Hell, he wasn’t even sure he could come up with a lie that would be consistent with his bruises. He could explain away the bruise on his face and the split lip, but he couldn’t just brush off the bruises on his hips. Besides, Jensen had a right to know what had happened to him. “It was Tom,” Jared answered softly, another tear sliding down his cheek. “He cornered me in the library after I got out of the shower and he-he tried to rape me.”

He could see the anger in Jensen’s face, but before Jensen had a chance to speak, Jared pressed his hands against Jensen’s cheeks, forcing him to keep eye contact as he added, “Nothing happened. He didn’t have a chance to do anything, Jen. I fought him and I got away before he could do anything. I’m fine. I promise.”

Although Jared was promising that he was fine and Tom hadn’t had a chance to do anything to him, Jensen couldn’t help the rage that he felt bubbling in his chest. He knew Tom was an asshole, but he had never pegged him for an attempted rapist. Then again, he really shouldn’t have been surprised. Tom had been going after Jared for a while now and if he hadn’t gotten the picture already, Jensen was pretty sure he wasn’t going to get it, so this was just the next step for the desperate bastard. 

Still, that didn’t mean he was going to let Tom get away with it. Everyone wanted him to be a leader and make decisions – well, he was about to make one for the better of the group right now. “Sonuvabitch,” he growled, beginning to push himself off the bed. He was going to get Tom the hell out of here. They didn’t need people like him in their group – he was a danger to everyone. But he wasn’t a complete asshole – Jensen would give him enough food and water to last him a few weeks so he at least had a fighting chance. 

Before Jensen could get off of the bed, Jared grabbed his arm, stopping him from leaving. “Jensen, don’t!” Jared pleaded, giving his head a small shake. “He’s not worth it. And if he knows that I told you, he’ll suspect something is going on between us and he won’t be as understanding as Misha. He will tell _everyone_ about us, and I know you don’t want that.” Honestly, Jared didn’t want that. When they decided that everyone needed to know about it, he wanted to be the one to tell people – his way. If Tom spilled the beans, it wouldn’t be the same. 

“He tried to rape you, Jared!” Jensen hissed heatedly. “I’m not going to let him just get away with that! _No one_ touches you without permission and gets away with it, do you hear me?! I’m going to get him the hell out of our group. We don’t need people like him with us possibly dragging the whole damn group down.”

A small frown came to Jared’s lips when Jensen suggested kicking Tom out of the group. He was a dick, sure, but he didn’t deserve to be shoved out there with the geeks who would no doubt kill him within a few days. “Jensen, you can’t do that,” he explained, giving his head a small shake. “If you send him away, you might as well be killing him. And you’re not a murderer. It’s not in you to kill someone.” Sighing, he gripped Jensen’s wrist, tugging Jensen closer to him. “Just…forget about him, please? He didn’t do anything to me – I stopped him. And if he tries it again, I’ll stop him again.”

Snorting out a laugh, Jensen spat, “What if you don’t?” Jared was a grown man and he could take care of himself – Jensen knew that. He just wished that Jared didn’t have to fight off the living as well as the dead. “He’s not safe, Jared. If we allow him to be in our group and he tries something with you again—”

Jensen’s rant was cut short when Jared surged forward and crushed their lips together. He didn’t want to argue about this right now. He knew that Tom was dangerous, but at the same time, they couldn’t feed him to the geeks. “Let’s just forget about him. I’ll stay away from him and it won’t happen again. Just…hold me tonight, okay? Don’t talk about Tom and what he tried to do, don’t talk about how this place could be taken away from us soon – don’t talk about any of it. Hold me…kiss me…make love to me – I don’t care what you do with me as long as it doesn’t involve talking. So please…just shut up.”

The last thing Jensen wanted to do was lie here with Jared and pretend like nothing happened, but he could respect that Jared didn’t want to talk about this anymore. “I’m just going to say one more thing on the matter,” Jensen whispered softly, pushing Jared’s shaggy hair behind his ear as he gazed into Jared’s hazel eyes. “If he ever touches you again, he won’t have to worry about the walkers because I’ll kill him myself. You may think I’m not a killer, but you’d be amazed by what I’d do for you.”

Tears sprang to Jared’s eyes at Jensen’s comment. Never in his life had he felt so loved and protected than he did at that moment. Again, Jared kissed Jensen, his tongue pushing between Jensen’s lips. “I love you,” he whispered when he pulled back, hand cupping Jensen’s cheek as he scooted closer and rested his head on Jensen’s chest. He didn’t have to say it back – not right now. Jared knew Jensen was confused about all of this, but Jared wasn’t. Jared knew that he loved Jensen and he was tired of not voicing it. Before his head even hit Jensen’s chest fully, he was asleep, the events of the evening having taken a toll on his body.

Now it was Jensen’s turn to smile, relaxing back on the mattress as carefully as he could so he didn’t disturb Jared. Slowly, his fingers stroked through Jared’s hair, the soft snoring sounds coming from the man practically lying on top of him soothing him. “I love you, too,” he whispered to his sleeping lover, pressing a dry kiss to Jared’s temple. Sighing with content, Jensen closed his eyes and allowed his brain to just shut down – he could deal with everything in the morning. Right now, he just wanted to get some sleep.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

The generators were running low. Rob could tell because the countdown on his watch was nearing zero. In a few short hours, the generators would run out of juice and if they didn’t get out of here, the place was going to start the decontamination process with all of them inside. Of course, it was going to take some convincing to get Mark to leave, but Rob knew it had to be done. After Tracy had died, Mark had made it his personal mission to find a cure. And without this place, the chances of reaching that goal were slim to none. But Rob wasn’t going to let Mark stay here and blow up with this place. Tracy would have wanted Mark to live more than she would have wanted a cure to this thing.

Now Rob was looking for Jensen so he could explain that they were running out of time. He wasn’t sure if Jensen told him group about what was going to happen, so he didn’t want to just announce it and drop a bombshell on them. After all, he didn’t know much about them, so he had no idea how they would all react. Of course, this was a big place and he didn’t know where the hell Jensen might be, so this could take a while and there was a chance they wouldn’t have time to be nice and ease the rest of the group into it unless Rob found Jensen soon.

He ran into Mark along the way, a deep frown on his lips when he saw that his friend seemed upset. “Mark, what’s wrong?” Rob asked, abandoning his plan to find Jensen so he could comfort his friend. Since he’d explained the process of the reanimation to Jensen and his group, Mark hadn’t been the same. It was like seeing that process take hold was almost like losing Tracy all over again, and Rob hated it. She had been a good friend of his as well, and he still felt her loss every day, so he could only imagine how it had to be for Mark. 

“We’re almost out of time,” Mark explained, giving his head a small shake as his shoulders slumped. “The generators are going to run out of juice by the afternoon and we still haven’t found the cure. _I_ still haven’t found a cure. I’ve failed Tracy.” A single tear slid down Mark’s cheek, but he quickly wiped it away, pushing himself to his feet. “I’ll stay here and burn with the place if I have to. I’m going to find this cure.”

Just as Rob suspected, Mark wanted to stay and die with the building all in the name of research. Well, he wasn’t going to let it happen. Gripping Mark’s elbow, Rob dragged him closer, making sure to keep eye contact with his friend. “Mark, listen to me,” he ordered. “Even if you stay here and find a cure, it will be gone with you when this place decontaminates itself. It would have all been for nothing. And you’d be dead. Tracy wouldn’t want that. You know she wouldn’t – she’d want you to live your life without her and fight to beat this thing.”

Again, Mark shook his head, more tears welling up in his eyes. “Why?” he asked. “Without Tracy, there’s this whole in my chest and I can’t make it go away. And when this place falls, there’s going to be nowhere for us to go. We’ll be out there with them and eventually, we’ll be torn to shreds. There’s no way around that. I’d rather die in my lab where I can control the way I go – not torn apart by freaks.”

Although Rob could see where Mark was coming from, that didn’t mean he had to agree with him. “Jensen and his group were out there for months before they came here!” Rob reminded. “And they’re fine. Jensen managed to keep them alive, and I would trust him to do the same for me and you. He’s a good leader – that much is obvious. And they have weapons, food, supplies – they can help us survive.”

A scoff escaped Mark when Rob started in on how well off Jensen’s group had been. “And where are they now, Rob?!” he demanded. “Right here under our roof, that’s where! Jensen begged us to let them in and if you hadn’t opened that door, he would have given up! If you hadn’t opened the door, they would have probably been dead by now.”

Shaking his head, Rob answered, “You don’t know that.” Of course, there was a possibility that it was true, but there was no evidence to that fact. And Rob wasn’t willing to believe it without hard evidence. “When we leave, you’re coming with us,” Rob assured Mark, releasing his friend as he started walking towards the bedrooms, ready to set back on his mission to find Jensen. “Even if I have to drag you out of here, Mark.”

**~~**

Soft moans escaped Jared as Jensen pushed his shirt up to reveal his chest, Jensen’s lips and tongue attacking Jared’s nipple. His hand slowly found its way to the back of Jensen’s head, Jared’s fingers twisting in the short-cropped strands of hair as he held Jensen in place, back arching off the bed to press himself closer to Jensen’s seeking tongue. “Oh God…Jen,” Jared moaned, biting into his bottom lip to keep from making too much noise.

A small smile came to Jensen’s lips when Jared moaned his name like that. This had been the plan for the night before, but Jared had just been so upset about what had happened to him – rightfully so – and Jensen just held him all night. Not that Jensen minded. He actually liked just holding Jared and being there for him, but he had promised that he was going to return the favor. Hell, he _wanted_ to return the favor! If Misha hadn’t walked in on them the first night, Jensen would have done it then.

Slowly, he reached for Jared’s wrist, pulling Jared’s hand out of his hair before he moved his head to the left, attacking Jared’s opposite nipple. When Jared tried to fist his fingers in Jensen’s hair again, Jensen smirked around the tight bud in his mouth as he pinned Jared’s hand to the bed, lacing their fingers together. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Jared to touch him, but he wanted to have full range of motion for his head. 

Once Jared’s nipple had been given what Jensen felt was the right amount of attention, he slowly started sliding his lips downward. He took the time to nip and suck at the skin around Jared’s belly button before dipping his tongue inside, smiling again when Jared wiggled around like he was being tickled. It was definitely one of the hottest things Jensen had ever seen. Not wasting any time, Jensen yanked Jared’s jeans open, pulling them off Jared’s body, his boxers soon following.

Finally, he reached his mark, moaning softly to himself as he nuzzled against the patch of hair above Jared’s dick. Jared’s musky scent was so rich there – Jensen could literally stay in this position all night.

But that’s not what he had planned on when he came into this room, and he wasn’t going to miss the chance to be with Jared like this again. Without wasting any more precious time, Jensen moved lower, taking just the tip of Jared’s cock into his mouth. Now, he’d never done this before, but he’d had friends in college who liked porn, so he’d seen videos. Not to mention that Danneel always used to give him head, so he knew the basics. Of course, he wasn’t going to promise this was going to be any good, but he was going to try his hardest. 

As soon as his cock was in Jensen’s mouth, Jared clenched his teeth so hard he was surprised he didn’t break any. He knew that screaming in pleasure could be taken as something else here and he didn’t want to draw attention to them but it was hard to be quiet – so fucking hard. Of course, keeping his mouth shut was a piece of cake in comparison to keeping his hips from bucking off the bed. “Oh God, Jen…” he breathed softly, biting into his bottom lip hard enough to nearly break the skin.

Figuring that Jared’s breathy response was a good sign, Jensen went a little further, taking just a little bit more of Jared’s penis into his mouth. He then moved one hand to the base of Jared’s cock, stroking what flesh wasn’t in his mouth at the moment. Again, the reaction he got from Jared was definitely a good sign as far as he was concerned. And it didn’t take him long to get even more brave, taking more of Jared in on each downward bob as his free hand moved to fondle Jared’s balls.

For someone who claims he’s never done this before, Jensen was doing a fucking amazing job. Then again, all Jensen really had to do to get Jared worked up was look at him in a certain way, so Jared wasn’t surprised he was all hot and bothered right now. Not that Jensen was bad – he was actually pretty damn good at it for a beginner. Before Jared knew what was going on, he felt heat pooling low in his belly, his now free hands moving to shove Jensen’s shoulder. “Jen…stop…m’gonna cum,” he breathed, not wanting to just let go without at least warning Jensen so he could pull off if he wanted to.

Of course, Jensen had no intention of pulling off, cheeks hollowing out as he sucked harder, hands moving to grab Jared’s so he would stop shoving at Jensen. When Jared’s back arched off the bed and he came, Jensen swallowed everything Jared gave him, licking the head of Jared’s cock clean once he was finished. Jensen then crawled back up the bed so he and Jared were level, smiling down at Jared before he crushed their lips together, tongue sliding into Jared’s mouth so Jared could taste himself on Jensen’s tongue. “Mmm…not as good as yours, but I think I did pretty good for my first time, don’t you?”

“Gimme a minute,” Jared answered with a small smile. “I think you sucked my brain out through my dick.” He smiled widely when Jensen let out a breathy chuckle and collapsed onto the mattress beside him. After a moment, he turned onto his side, the smile still plastered on his face as he wrapped his arm around Jensen’s waist, head resting on Jensen’s chest. “Yes, you were amazing. Maybe not as good as I was, but you can practice on me any time you want.”

Again, Jensen chuckled at Jared, giving his head a small shake as he pulled Jared closer to him. “Aren’t we smug?” he teased, leaning over and pressing another kiss to Jared’s lips. He was about to suggest that they take care of his current situation, but the light suddenly flickered, causing him to frown deeply as Jared pulled away from him, looking at the door suspiciously. 

In his experience, flickering lights were never a good sign. He’d seen more horror movies than he would have liked to admit with Sandy when they were in high school, and he knew it never led to anything fun. “What’s going on?” he asked, eyes swinging back to Jensen as he frowned deeply. Jensen had been spending the most time with Rob and Mark, so he figured Jensen would have a better idea about this issue than anyone else.

Slowly, Jensen shook his head, his frown deepening. “I don’t know,” he answered, reaching down to grab Jared’s jeans that he’d tossed on the floor haphazardly. “Get dressed. I’m gonna go find Rob – maybe he knows what’s going on.” With that, Jensen was up off the bed and heading out the door, leaving Jared behind to pull his clothes back on. Honestly, Jensen thought he knew what was going on, but he wasn’t going to freak Jared out unless he had to. If it was the generators, Jared would be the first to know.

He found Rob in the hallway leading to Jensen’s room, Jensen catching him before he walked in there looking for him and letting Danneel know that he wasn’t with Rob. After all, he used rob as an excuse more often than not when he was with Jared. “Hey, what’s going on?” Jensen asked, the frown returning to his lips. “Why are the lights flickering?”

Before Rob had a chance to answer, Danneel and Tom were out of their rooms, Jim, Samantha, and Jeffrey following closely behind, all demanding to know what was going on. Sandy, Chad, Misha, and Vicky showed up a few seconds later, deep frowns marring everyone’s features as they all bombarded Rob with questions. Christian and Steve showed up just before Rob spoke. “Everyone better meet me and Mark in the main room,” Rob explained, frowning slightly at Jensen. As he turned to leave, Rob grabbed Jensen’s elbow and pulled him away from the group, whispering in his ear, “It’s started.”

Jensen’s eyes widened slightly when Rob whispered into his ear, quickly pulling away from him. Without saying a word, Jensen turned and jogged in the direction of Jared’s room once more. When he walked in, he nearly plowed Jared over, his hands gripping Jared’s biceps to keep them from falling. “We have to go,” Jensen explained, licking his lips. “It’s the generators. They’re running out of power. Pack your things – I have to go keep the group calm when they hear the news, but I’ll meet you in the main room.”

This was it – their safe little haven was once again being ripped away from them. Slowly, Jared nodded, moving to do as he was told as soon as Jensen released his arms. He was scared – they had nowhere to go now and he was freaking out. But he couldn’t let Jensen see that. Jared had to be strong for Jensen’s sake. After all, Jensen couldn’t take on everyone’s emotions – it would put too much stress on him and it could get him killed.

Once Jensen reached the main room, Mark frowned, instructing everyone to quiet down. “Listen to me!” he ordered when no one obliged with the nice treatment. “If we do not get out of this building before that timer reaches zero, the place will be decontaminated with us all inside of it!” Again, that got the crowd going.

“What does that mean?” Vicky asked, hoping that it wasn’t what she thought it meant. She wasn’t a scientist by any means, but she was pretty smart – she knew how facilities like this worked. And if decontamination meant what she thought it did, she wanted out of here as soon as possible.

A small frown came to Rob’s lips as he stared at the floor, not able to look these people in the eye as he explained, “It sets the air on fire. It will kill everyone in here in less than a second. No one will feel any pain. But if you want to live – if you want to _fight_ this world, then we have to get out now. The more time we waste with explanations and debates, the generators lose more and more power. We don’t have time for this right now! We have to leave!”

Although Rob was doing a great job of explaining the dire nature of their situation, no one was moving. Jensen didn’t understand what was wrong with these people. Instead of going to gather their shit, they were all looking at each other and being useless. “What the hell are you all waiting for?” Jensen asked, frowning at the group. “Get your shit packed – we have to leave! You heard the man!”

Finally, everyone started moving. Rob smiled softly at Jensen, but he wasn’t sticking around to have this conversation. Quickly, he headed to his own room, ignoring Danneel when she glared at him as he started to pack his bags up. Luckily, they hadn’t been here that long, so he was able to toss the few things into his bag that he’d taken out and he was on his way. 

When he met Jared in the main room, the timer was at two minutes and twelve seconds. They weren’t going to have enough time if they didn’t get their asses moving. About twenty seconds after Jensen got to the main room, Christian, Steve, Misha, Vicky, Chad, Sandy, Danneel, and Tom met them there. Jensen quickly ushered everyone outside, tossing Misha the keys to the van so he could open the door and let everyone inside. He wasn’t leaving until their whole group was walking out that door.

Jim and Samantha came at the one minute, thirty second mark, Jeffrey following close behind. Rob and Mark followed Jensen out, quickly running towards the cars and piling into them wherever they could fit. Before they had a chance to drive away, Rob screamed, “Everyone get down!” Just as everyone did as they were told, Jensen tossing himself on top of Jared just in case debris reached the car, the building went up into flames, glass shattering and flying everywhere. Luckily, no one was hurt.

Slowly, Jensen pushed himself off of Jared, practically _feeling_ Danneel’s eyes on him as she glared at him. He didn’t even have to look her way to see that she was pissed. But he didn’t care right now – they had bigger things to worry about. The CDC was gone and they had nowhere to go now. Giving the remains of the building that he had thought would be the answer to all of their problems, Jensen put the van into gear and started driving away. He had no idea where they were going to go, but they couldn’t stay here – the explosion had attracted all of the walkers in the area and Jensen didn’t want to stick around and wait for them to show up.

**~~**

The van slowly rolled to a stop, Jensen frowning at the gas gauge that was falling too close to the red line for his liking. Almost everyone in the van with him was sleeping, so Jensen tried to be as quiet as possible as he pushed his door open, ready to meet Christian and Jeffrey, who were also getting out of their cars. “What’s up?” Christian asked as he frowned at Jensen, having a feeling he knew what the problem was, though he was hoping that he was wrong. It was getting dark and so far they hadn’t come up with a plan yet – they didn’t have time for setbacks.

“Gas gauge is running low,” Jensen answered with a frown of his own. “There’s not enough room for everyone in the other cars and it’s getting too dark for people to run off on their own in search of gas. We’re gonna have to set up camp somewhere.” Jensen didn’t like it either, but this was their only option – it was all they had now that the CDC was gone. “At least for the night. We can figure something else out when the sun comes up again.”

Although it wasn’t the best plan in the world, it was all they had right now. “Yeah, you’re right,” Steve answered with a nod. He didn’t particularly like it, but it was something at least. “If I’m right about where we are right now, there’s a little cabin just up the road. It’s about a five minute walk. As long as it hasn’t been overrun, we can stay there tonight.”

Nodding, Jensen answered, “I’ll go wake the others and let them know what we’re doing.” With that, Jensen headed to the van, slowly and quietly waking everyone inside. He started with Misha and Vicky, wanting them to go talk to Steve and verify that there was actually a cabin up the road. It wasn’t that Jensen didn’t trust his friend, but he wanted to be one hundred percent sure before they abandoned their cars for the night and they were stuck out in the middle of nowhere – call it a little extra insurance.

Of course, Danneel _had_ to argue with him when he told her the plan. “Are you serious, Jensen?” she complained, frowning at him. “Is it even safe to be walking around when it’s this close to dark? I mean, there could be walkers all over the place and we’re not exactly prepared for a damn fight right now. We’re all tired and depressed and we shouldn’t be leaving the cars. You know I’m right!”

Really, Jensen tried not to roll his eyes at her, but it was hard. “Danneel, did you not hear me when I told you that the van is almost out of gas?” he asked, trying to get it through her head that staying here was even less safe than leaving in search of a place to set up camp for the evening. “It’s too dark for people to be running off to find more gas – it’s better if we just stick together and try to find camp for the night.” When she rolled her eyes, Jensen almost lost it. “Or you could stay here by yourself in the car and take your chances.”

Now, Danneel out right glared at Jensen. “This is ridiculous,” she finally complained, walking towards the rest of the group to wait for them to start moving. She didn’t understand why Jensen had to be so mean to her these days. It was obvious that she was going through something since she lost her best friend, but Jensen clearly didn’t understand anything about that. Not that she was surprised since he spent most of his time with other people these days – anyone to get away from her, it seemed.

When he was alone again, Jensen turned his attention back to Jared who was still sleeping in the passenger seat. A small smile came to his lips as he leaned closer, running his hand slowly through Jared’s bangs to get them out of his eyes. “Jay, hey,” he whispered, his smile widening when Jared merely snuffled and pushed himself closer to Jensen’s hand. “You gotta get up. I can’t carry your sasquatch ass.”

At that, Jared’s eyes popped open, glaring slightly at Jensen. “You really know how to make a guy feel special,” Jared complained, rolling into a more comfortable seated position. Sleeping in the van had given him major kinks in his muscles and he knew for a fact that he was going to be paying for it later. With any luck, they wouldn’t come across any walkers before Jared had a chance to work out these kinks. “What are we doing out in the middle of nowhere?” Jared asked, pushing himself out of the car to stand next to Jensen. “It’s getting close to dark – shouldn’t we be driving towards shelter, or something? I mean, there has to be some abandoned buildings around here that aren’t completely over run by geeks, right?”

More than anything, Jensen wanted to get Jared somewhere that wasn’t over run by walkers, but he wasn’t sure they were ever going to find such a place. Every day more and more walkers came out of the woodwork and there was nothing they could do to stop it. But Jensen could keep Jared from becoming one of those filthy beasts. “We’re almost out of gas, baby,” he whispered softly, making sure no one heard the pet name. “If Steve’s right about where we are right now, then there’s a place just a few minutes from here where we can all stay for the night. When the sun comes up, we can send someone for gas and get the hell out of here.”

“And go where?” Jared asked, a small frown on his lips. Everywhere they looked, geeks were all around them. There was no escaping them. Sooner or later, they were going to have to find a safe place or else they weren’t going to make it out of this world with their lives. “Look, I trust that you’re going to keep us safe and everything, Jen – I do – but I don’t want to be on the run from these things again. I just…I want to feel safe.”

It hurt that Jared didn’t think he was safe with Jensen, though Jensen didn’t show it. “I don’t know yet,” Jensen admitted with a small shake of his head. “But I promise that I’m going to find somewhere that you feel safe, okay?” Gently, Jensen cupped Jared’s cheek, not caring that anyone at any time could walk over there and see them. “And I’m going to keep you safe – no matter what. Do you believe me?”

A small smile came to Jared’s lips when Jensen cupped his cheek, Jared leaning into Jensen’s hand before pressing a kiss to Jensen’s palm. “Of course I believe you,” he answered, leaving no room for doubt. “I love you, Jen. I’ve loved you since the first time I saw you. I know you’re going to keep me safe. All I was saying is that I wish we could find somewhere permanent that isn’t going to get over run by geeks, or blow up because it runs out of power. I just want to feel safe somewhere.”

Now it was Jensen’s turn to smile. “We’ll find something,” he assured Jared. “But right now we just have to settle for going somewhere safe for the night. And Steve has somewhere for us that might help with that, so we gotta get moving.” With that, Jensen pulled away from Jared, heading over to talk with Christian and Steve about what the plan for the rest of the night was going to be. As far as he was concerned, Christian and Steve were in charge right now, and he was fine with that. It felt nice to have the weight of the group off his shoulders for a while.

Sure enough, there was a small cabin a few miles away that looked as though it was abandoned. As long as there weren’t too many walkers squatting inside looking for their next meal, it would be a good place to spend the night. Sure, Jensen figured there would be at least a few walkers in there finding shelter and any possible flesh that they could munch on, but with the numbers they had, it wouldn’t be hard to take down a few of them. 

When they reached the door, it was locked, not that Jensen was surprised. Misha had experience in lock-picking luckily, so he had them inside the cabin within seconds. Immediately, they were hit with the stench of rotting flesh, though there was no threat that they could see. “Keep your eyes open,” Christian ordered, throwing his arm over his nose to keep the smell at bay. Quickly, the men fell into a routine – Jensen, Christian, Steve, and Jeffrey started searching the house while Samantha and Sandy followed behind Chad to the kitchen in search of a decent meal. After all, everyone was hungry and they all knew they were in for a long night.

Although a thorough sweep of the premises confirmed that the place was free of walkers, the previous owners of the house were the source of the smell. There was no way they could stay here and hope to get any sleep for the evening if they had to deal with that. Fortunately, Samantha and Sandy were able to find some canned foods that they could load into their backpacks so they would have food for the evening. “At least we still have our tents,” Jim suggested, a small smile on his lips. “We can stay somewhere safe outside and just keep watch like we did before the high school. It will work for a night.”

That was their best option, though it wasn’t a great one. Sighing, Jensen started moving towards the door, smiling sadly at Jared before he headed out into the dark. They made their way back to the cars and headed towards the side of the road around the outskirts of the woods. It was dangerous to go into the woods after dark, so they stayed close to the tree-line until they came to a clearing, Jensen leading them into the middle of it. “We can set up camp here,” he suggested, glancing around the area to make sure it was safe. “We’ll have a few look outs and leave first thing in the morning – we should be fine.”

No one protested as they unpacked their gear and set up their tents. Jensen moved towards Steve and Christian, needing to work out the details of their evening. “So, I’ll take watch on the lower side there facing south, and then if we can have someone towards the north, west, and east, we should be good. If people need to sleep, we can switch off.”

Shaking his head, Steve explained, “ _You’re_ not watching anything. Christian and I already recruited people to keep watch. You just go be with Jared.” Before Jensen could protest, Steve continued, “I saw the way you two were all night – ever since the van ran out of gas. Go be with him and get over whatever kind of fun the two of you are in.”

“We’re not in a funk, Steve,” Jensen assured his friend, although he wasn’t sure he completely believed his own words. Still, he wasn’t going to argue about not having to keep watch – some quality time with Jared wasn’t something he was willing to pass up. Sighing, he scratched the back of his head, smiling softly at Christian and Steve. “How much time do you think I have before Danneel starts to hunt me down?”

A soft chuckle escaped Christian as he gave his head a small shake, slapping Jensen on the shoulder. “Don’t worry – we’ll make sure she doesn’t bother you guys.” They had already recruited Sandy in helping them keep Danneel off Jensen’s back for the evening. She was already distracting Danneel so Jensen could sneak away. Misha and Vicky had also been recruited in case Danneel got tired of Sandy. “Now go get your man before Danneel realizes that you’re over here and tries to ruin our plan already.”

Without another word, Jensen turned on his heels and headed towards the edge of camp where Jared was setting up his tent. He could tell right away that Jared wasn’t right – he looked like he was in pain, and that didn’t sit well with Jensen. Considering what had happened to Jared while Jensen was with Rob when Tom cornered Jared, it _really_ wasn’t sitting well with Jensen. Slowly, Jensen came up behind Jared, placing his hands on Jared’s hips and tugging Jared against him, nuzzling into Jared’s throat. “What’s wrong, baby?” he asked, breathing in Jared’s sweet, unique scent. “Are you okay?”

At first, Jared tensed when he was grabbed, but as soon as he realized it was Jensen, his body immediately relaxed. “I’m fine,” he promised with a small nod, turning his head so that he could press his cheek against Jensen’s forehead. “Just a little sore from sleeping in the van.” Turning to face Jensen, Jared put on his best pouting face as he added, “My body’s all achy.” He knew they probably wouldn’t be able to do anything tonight because Jensen was going to take watch, but Jared could try. Maybe he could at least get to blow Jensen before he left.

That pout Jared was giving him had Jensen biting down a groan. It was fucking hot. Jared really knew how to push all of Jensen’s buttons and twist him to make him do anything Jared wanted him to do. He knew that being in such close proximity with Jared out in the open like this wasn’t a really good idea if they were trying to keep their relationship a secret, but for a minute, he was seriously considering planting one on Jared right here and now. Instead, he gave Jared a small shove towards the opening of the tent, smiling at the shocked expression on Jared’s face. “Get in the tent, you tease,” he ordered, glancing around the camp to make sure they hadn’t attracted any unwanted attention before he climbed in behind Jared.

Jared didn’t even have time to turn and face Jensen before he was on top of him, Jensen’s strong thighs bracketing Jared between his legs as his muscular arms wrapped around Jared’s chest, calloused palms stroking over Jared’s abdomen and pectorals. A small moan escaped Jared as Jensen worked his body, his head falling to hang between his shoulders. “Jen…feels good,” he breathed, bowing his back so he was pressed more tightly against Jensen’s body.

This did feel really nice. Jensen loved it when he could just pretend that there weren’t monsters trying to kill them every time they stepped outside and he could just be with Jared. “Shh…” he whispered in Jared’s ear, nipping at the shell before he slid his lips lower, sucking a bruise onto Jared’s shoulder. “Just relax and let me take care of you.”

Confusion knit Jared’s brows when Jensen instructed him to relax and let himself be taken care of. Surely, there wasn’t time for them to do much of anything right now because Jensen was probably needed for one of the watch duties. It was kind of mean for him to tease Jared like this. “Don’t you have to leave and keep watch?” Jared asked, a small frown on his lips as he tried not to let himself get too worked up. The last thing he wanted to do was have to jerk off in this tent when Jensen left. 

Chuckling softly, Jensen bit into Jared’s opposite shoulder, tongue pressing against the area to reduce the sting from his teeth. “Christian and Steve have it covered,” Jensen explained as he pressed kisses to Jared’s broad shoulders and down his back. “I don’t have to keep watch tonight. You’ve got me all to yourself.” Unfortunately, Jared was achy and Jensen didn’t want to do anything to make it worse, so he wasn’t going to carry out his original plan of having sex with Jared and showing him just how safe he could make him feel. Instead, Jensen had a better plan. 

Gently, Jensen pressed his hand between Jared’s shoulders, pushing him down onto his belly. “Lie down and relax baby,” he whispered, scooting up Jared’s body so he was straddling his waist. “Let’s see what we can’t do about that achy body of yours.” Jensen had been told a few times by some girls that he gave a great massage – with any luck, he could use his skills to make Jared feel better. 

“Mmm…what’re you gonna do to me?” Jared asked, a small smile coming to his lips as he felt Jensen’s hands starting to move over his body. His smile only widened when he realized that Jensen was actually giving him a massage. “Are you really gonna take the opportunity that we have now to massage me instead of sleep with me, Jenny?” Jared teased, sighing softly as he relaxed into the touch.

Now, it was Jensen’s turn to smile, fingers digging a little harder into Jared’s muscles so he could work out the tension there. “Yes, I am,” he answered, putting more of his body weight into the movement so he could really work out the kinks in Jared’s back. Leaning in closer, Jensen whispered, “If you play nice and you’re up for it when I’m done, maybe I’ll massage something other than your back for you – if you know what I mean.”

Oh, Jared definitely knew what Jensen meant. “Y-Yeah,” Jared breathed softly, moaning when Jensen worked out a particularly tight knot in his lower back. “Fuck you’re good at this.” More moans spilled out of Jared’s throat as Jensen continued to work the knots and kinks out of his muscles. Honestly, he was surprised Jensen wasn’t shushing him because he was being kind of loud – he knew he was. But he couldn’t help it. 

By the time Jensen had worked out every kink and all of the tension in Jared’s body, Jared was hard enough to cut glass. He definitely wanted Jensen to make nice on his earlier promised. After all, Jared had been a really good boy – he’d certainly played nice. “Jensen, please?” Jared whispered softly as he wiggled around so that he could lie on his back and look up at Jensen. “You promised if I was good, you’d massage something else.” He lifted his hips as a reminder, letting Jensen feel just how hard he’d made him. “I think I was really good.”

It took everything Jensen had in him not to just rip Jared’s clothes off and just push into him right now. Jared was seriously such a tease pressing against him like that when Jensen wasn’t even prepared. “You were _very_ good,” Jensen assured Jared, grinding down against Jared’s hard cock to show Jared just how turned on he was as well. “And I’m gonna take such good care of you right now, baby.” Pulling back, Jensen unbuttoned Jared’s pants, tugging them down off his hips roughly as he smiled down at his lover. “Get your shirt off for me.”

Jared didn’t hesitate as he gripped the hem of his shirt, pulling it off his head and tossing it away from him, not even caring where it landed right now. As he pulled his shirt off, he lifted his hips off the ground, making it easier for Jensen to pull his pants and boxers down his legs, Jared kicking the denim and cotton off his ankles and spreading his legs wide, coaxing Jensen between his legs. 

Without hesitating, Jensen took Jared’s invitation, moving between his legs and yanking off his own shirt. A wide smile came to Jensen’s lips when Jared leaned up to unbutton his jeans, Jensen’s head falling back in pleasure as Jared nipped and kissed a path from Jensen’s belly button down to the soft curls just above his groin. Quickly, he shimmied out of his jeans, growling softly as he gripped Jared behind his knees and forced him onto his back once more, their lips locking passionately. 

The way Jensen was all but manhandling him had all of Jared’s blood rushing south, his dick twitching in anticipation of what Jensen was going to do to him. When the kiss broke, Jensen’s lips sliding down Jared’s chin to suck and nip at his throat, Jared moaned softly once more. “Ungh…Jen, please?” he begged softly, fingers digging into Jensen’s back as he tried to drag him impossibly closer. 

“Shh…baby, wait a minute,” Jensen whispered softly, pulling away from Jared as much as he could with the way he was being held. He really wished they had lube – then he wouldn’t have to worry about hurting Jared every time they had sex. The next time Misha was going into town, he was going to make sure he asked him to pick some up. After all, it wasn’t like he didn’t already know about his and Jared’s relationship. “M’not gonna hurt you because you’re impatient.”

Unable to help himself, Jared rolled his eyes, giving his head a small shake. “You’re not gonna hurt me period,” he assured Jensen, legs locking tightly around Jensen’s hips. He knew that he had only been promised a massage, but he wanted more. If there was ever an opportunity to have sex with Jensen, Jared was going to do everything in his power to take that chance. “Please…just do it.”

A small smile came to Jensen’s lips when Jared told him to just do it. “What exactly do you think I’m going to do?” he asked, knowing what Jared wanted though he wanted to hear him say it. Sure, he wasn’t going to have sex with Jared tonight because of the whole achy issue and Danneel was probably lurking somewhere looking for him, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t get off. After all, they were both naked now, so they shouldn’t waste the opportunity.

Jared groaned softly at the question. Like Jensen didn’t know what he wanted – that was a joke. “Fuck,” Jared breathed, eyes squeezing tightly closed as he ground his hips against Jensen’s. “You know exactly what I want you to do to me, Jen. Stop teasing me.” He really hated it when Jensen teased him like this. Sure, foreplay was fun and all, but sometimes Jared just wanted to get things moving. “Just…do it, Jenny, please?”

Although Jared’s begging was a huge turn on, Jensen wasn’t going to have sex with him. After all, the massage had been cut short because Jared was so damn impatient, so there was a chance Jared was still in pain. “M’not gonna have sex with you,” he explained with a shake of his head, hips rocking against Jared’s, another small smile coming to his lips when Jared moaned in pleasure. “Doesn’t mean we can’t get off though, baby.”

At this point, Jared knew there was no way to make Jensen budge on his decision. So as long as Jensen wasn’t going to leave him hanging, Jared supposed that he could let this slide. Another deep moan escaped him as he rocked against Jensen, meeting his lover thrust for thrust. He was already so worked up that he didn’t last long, fingers carding through Jensen’s hair as he dragged him down for another kiss to muffle the cry of pleasure that wanted to escape him when he finally reached his climax, leaving a sticky mess between himself and Jensen. 

Not long after Jared came, Jensen followed suit, face pressed tightly in the crook of Jared’s neck so he didn’t scream with his release. His breaths were panting out hotly against Jared’s damp skin as Jensen tried to catch his breath, slowly rolling off Jared when he could finally muster up the strength. Slowly, he pushed himself into a seated position, a small frown coming to his lips when Jared grabbed his elbow and held on tightly, giving him a confused look. “M’not going anywhere,” he assured Jared, grabbing the blanket he had been going for and pulling it over the two of them. “Do you really think I’d leave after that?”

Honestly, Jared didn’t know if Jensen would leave. He would like to think that he wouldn’t, but they were out in the open again and there was a chance Danneel could find them. So yeah, a part of Jared could see Jensen scurrying off after that. “I don’t know,” Jared answered with a small shake of his head. “What about Danneel? You know she’s going to be looking for you. And if she looks here and finds us like this, then it’s over. She’ll know everything, and I know you don’t want that.”

Frowning slightly, Jensen pulled Jared impossibly closer, crushing their lips together. “I’m not leaving this tent tonight,” he assured Jared. “Not even if you want me to. You’re gonna have to kick me out. And even then I might not leave.” Positioning them so that Jared’s head was resting over his heart, Jensen whispered, “Get some sleep. We gotta keep moving when the sun comes up.”

**~~**

When the sun finally penetrated the tent, waking Jared from his slumber, Jensen was already gone. Groaning softly, Jared pushed himself into a seated position, reaching for his pants before he quickly dressed himself. Once he was decent, Jared emerged from his tent, a small smile on his lips when he saw Jensen standing by Steve and Christian looking as though he was having a serious conversation with the two of them. Serious conversations could only mean they were about to relocate.  
“I think we can take it,” Jensen assured Christian, frowning slightly when he saw the look of disbelief on his friend’s face. “If we can get a team together, and play this smart, we could clear out a wing by nightfall and at least have somewhere safe to sleep tonight.” Still, Jensen could tell they didn’t seem all that convinced, but he was willing to change their minds. “I’m telling you, this could work. A hospital would be the perfect place to go. It can provide shelter, food, medical supplies in case something would happen. It’s our best shot at survival now that we’ve lost the CDC.” 

Although Christian knew Jensen had a point about them needing shelter, he wasn’t sure they could afford to risk their lives for something that had been overrun by walkers. Then again, it was their only option as of now and if their team was big enough and strong enough, there was a chance they could make it work. Sighing, Christian pressed his index finger and thumb to the bridge of his nose, hoping like hell he didn’t regret this later. “All right, let’s do it,” he agreed, giving Jensen a small smile. “I’ve trusted your judgment since this whole thing started and you’ve kept us alive this long, so you know I’ve got your back.”

It didn’t take long to get a team assembled, Jensen going over strategies and making sure everyone had weapons. Jared wanted to be part of the team, but Jensen wasn’t willing to risk him. “Jared, can you please not argue with me on this one, baby?” he begged, pressing Jared up against the tree behind their camp where they were out of sight. “You know that I trust you, but your back was hurting yesterday and I don’t want you to get yourself hurt.”

A deep frown came to Jared’s lips as he gripped Jensen’s biceps, holding him in place. “Jen, I can do this,” he assured him. “You know that I can. I’ve gone on runs before and I was just fine.” Sure, sometimes he may have had issues with flashbacks, but he was pretty sure that was over now. It had to be. Jared refused to be the one who needed protected all of the time when there was a large group of walkers. “I just want to help. And if you don’t let me help, people are gonna start wondering why you’re keeping me so protected and guarded. It might raise suspicions neither of us want.”

There was always the possibility that Jensen’s over protective attitude towards Jared would raise some questions, but Jensen didn’t care about that right now. In the past, Jared hadn’t had a very good track record when a lot of walkers were around. And Jensen hated bringing it up, but it was the only way he thought he could get Jared to listen. “Jay, please just listen to me? Every time we’ve run into walkers in the past, you haven’t been able to get past the memories inside your own head. And I hate bringing it up, but I don’t want you to be hurt because of it.”

Jared was about to protest, but Jensen quickly shut him up with a passionate kiss on his mouth, tongue pushing into Jared’s mouth to massage Jared’s own. A wide smile came to Jensen’s lips as he pulled back, fingers flexing against Jared’s hips as he pushed them under Jared’s T-shirt, feeling the smooth flesh underneath. “You’re so fucking sexy when you’re pouting,” he teased, nipping at Jared’s protruding lower lip.

Fighting the urge to smile and keep up his unhappy look, Jared gently pushed Jensen away. “Cut it out,” he scolded, giving his head a small shake. “I’m mad at you for not letting me come along.” Sighing, he pushed himself away from the tree, righting his shirt as he did so. “What am I supposed to do while you’re in there risking your life for us? Just sit here and worry about you?”

He knew Jared wasn’t actually so mad at him that he was going to throw a hissy fit, so he couldn’t help but keep the smile firmly plastered on his lips. “You can keep an eye on Sandy,” Jensen explained. “I plan on taking Chad with me and I’m sure she’ll be just as distraught as you are.” Coming up behind Jared, Jensen gripped his hips once more, dragging him back against his body as he whispered, “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. And you can promise Sandy that although Chad and I don’t get along very well, I’ll keep him alive too.” Pressing a kiss to Jared’s neck, Jensen walked past him, shooting a smile back at him before he made his way to where Steve, Christian, Chad, Mark, and Rob were all waiting for him.

Once they were inside the hospital, the fight was on. Walkers were coming out of the woodwork it seemed – more than they had originally thought. “Don’t break formation!” Christian called, smashing one of the walkers’ heads with the baseball bat he was wielding. Behind him, he heard another walker go down, Christian attacking another two that were coming his way. It seemed like the battle went on for hours, though really it was only a few minutes. 

Just as they were about to congratulate themselves on a job well done, everyone having already let their guard down, one last walker came out of the shadows. Before anyone had time to react, it grabbed ahold of Mark and tore into his shoulder with it’s rotting teeth. Screams filled the air as the group sprang into action, Jensen bringing his machete down onto the thing’s head just as it was about to go in for another bite. 

As soon as the last walker was on the ground, Mark fell to his knees, his hand quickly covering the bite wound and applying pressure. Rob quickly followed suit, removing Mark’s hand so he could take a look at it. It was clear the bite had broken skin and there was nothing they could do to help him. Tears sprang to Rob’s eyes as the reality of the situation sank in – Mark was going to die and there was nothing rob could do to stop it. His eyes ticked up to meet Mark’s when he heard his friend laughing, Rob giving his head a small shake. “You know what you have to do, Rob,” Mark assured him, his eyes void of any emotion. Honestly, he was ready to die – he wanted to be with his wife. “I want you to be the one to do it.”

Slowly, Rob turned to look upon the faces of his new friends, one single tear falling from his eye. “You guys should go,” he suggested, not wanting anyone to be around for his and Mark’s final moments. “Get the others and start setting up barriers so none of the walkers in the other wings can get to us. I’ll-I’ll take care of this.”

Although Jensen wanted to protest leaving Rob behind even for a minute to finish this job, Steve and Christian quickly stopped him. Communicating with only their eyes, Christian and Steve explained that this was something that had to be done and this is what Rob and Mark wanted. Reluctantly, Jensen turned and left the two alone, dropping his machete on the ground as soon as he was out of the hospital. This was his fault – he had been the one to suggest they go in there and clear out the wing and now they’d lost Mark. He was the one to blame.

It was obvious to Christian and Steve that Jensen was blaming himself for what happened to Mark, but there wasn’t anything they could do about it. They knew better than anyone that once Jensen had a thought in his head about blame, there was nothing anyone could do to make him think otherwise. They also knew that it was best to just leave him alone about it until he was ready to accept the fact that he was wrong. 

Jared picked up on the fact that something was wrong as soon as he saw Jensen walk out of that building. He started walking towards Jensen, but stopped in his tracks when Danneel threw herself into Jensen’s arms before Jared could make it there. “Oh my God, Jensen, I was so worried about you,” Danneel crooned, putting on a show for the other members of the group who were there. Jared knew that she was really only doing it because she probably suspected something was happening between him and Jensen, and he hated her for it.

Slowly, Danneel pulled away from Jensen, her hands cupping his cheeks as she asked, “Jen, baby, are you okay?” It was clear that something was wrong and she wanted Jensen to be able to open up to her. “What happened in there? You know you can talk to me, Jen. I’m your girlfriend. You don’t have to hide things from me. I’m here for you.”

“We should start moving our gear into the hospital,” Jensen explained, pushing himself away from Danneel’s grip. “I want everything to be set up and barriers to be placed before nightfall.” With that, Jensen walked towards his own tent, eyes flashing towards Jared quickly before he was out of sight. He wanted to get everything packed up and start putting up the proper barriers to keep them safe in that hospital before they lost the sun. After all, Jensen hadn’t seen any sign of electricity in there, so Steve was probably going to have to work on that. Plus, keeping himself busy would take his mind off of what happened to Mark in there.

**~~**

By the time night fell, the barriers were in place and everyone was safely inside the hospital. There wasn’t much room to move in the small wing they had cleared out, but there was enough space so that everyone could have their own tent and still have some privacy. If they wanted it, that was. Most people were just sharing their spaces – Chad and Sandy, Christian and Steve, Misha and Vicki – hell, even Samantha and Jim were sharing a tent. Danneel undoubtedly expected Jensen to share her tent, but he wasn’t sure if he was going to at this point. He still had his own tent and he might just make use of it.

When a hand landed on his shoulder, Jensen jumped slightly, sighing when he realized that it was only Christian. “You were right,” Christian smiled, his eyes roaming over the room they had cleared out. Tomorrow they had plans to widen the perimeter, but for now, this would do. “This could work for us. I mean, I’m sure there are plenty of supplies here. Maybe we could find the cafeteria and see what kind of food we can scrounge up. People are all lookin’ a little thin. Including you.”

“I’m fine,” Jensen assured his friend, giving him a small, reassuring smile as Steve came over to join them. “You guys should get some sleep. I’ll take watch.” Honestly, Jensen was only trying to put off the inevitable – he didn’t want to deal with Danneel right now. He knew that he should just break up with her and make it easy on himself, but he didn’t want to hurt her. She had just lost her best friend and he wasn’t exactly sure how stable her mind was at the moment. Then again, he wasn’t even sure he should care – everything about her pissed him off and annoyed him these days.

Before Jensen had a chance to get away, Steve grabbed his elbow, keeping him in place. “Don’t be ridiculous, Jen. After everything you went through today, you need your rest.” Chuckling softly, Steve teased, “You look terrible. Jared probably thinks you’ve been infected at this point because you’re starting to look like one of those geeks.” Smiling once more, Steve tilted his head in the direction of Jared’s tent. “Go be with Jared. Christian and I can handle watch again tonight.” 

Seeing that Jensen was going to protest, Christian quickly raised his index finger, shaking his head. “Don’t argue with us, Jensen. Go to sleep. Besides, Steve and I aren’t even tired. We took a nap earlier today, so we’re good until the sun comes up. Now go.”

Unable to gather the energy to argue, Jensen headed off towards his own tent. There were too many people in this closed space for him to slip into Jared’s tent without people noticing, so he figured this was safer. Once everyone had a chance to settle down and they started dozing off, Jensen would sneak into Jared’s tent without the risk of unwanted attention. 

As soon as he was in his tent, Jensen pulled his T-shirt off, tossing it into the corner where he could deal with it later. Popping the button of his jeans and slowly dragging down the zipper, Jensen sighed, wishing that he could be with Jared right now, his dick jumping with excitement at the thought of the younger man. Just as he was about to push his hand into his pants and offer himself some relief, small arms wrapped around his waist and delicate hands stroked up his chest, causing Jensen to jump in surprise, pushing himself away from the woman invading his tent.

Although she was hurt by Jensen’s standoffish behavior, Danneel didn’t allow it to show, a small smile coming to her lips as she seductively bit into her bottom lip, index finger hooking over the V-neck she was wearing, pulling the fabric down to reveal more of her cleavage. “Were you thinking about me?” she asked, moving towards Jensen once more, hands moving to grip his hips as she pulled him closer. “Because I’ve been thinking about you, Jen. It’s been so long since we’ve had a moment to be alone together. I don’t think we should waste it.”

The last thing he wanted right now was to be with Danneel. If anything, he wanted to be so far away from her that he could just forget that she even existed. What he wanted was Jared – and he wasn’t going to sleep with Danneel right now when he could easily walk the short distance to Jared’s tent and have exactly what he wanted. “I’m not in the mood,” Jensen started to explain, snapping his mouth shut when Danneel interrupted him.

“You’re never _in the mood_ anymore, Jensen!” Danneel complained. “Yet you were in here getting undressed and practically fucking your own hand when I got here. But you’re not in the mood? I’m not buying it, Jensen. What the hell is wrong with you? Lately, you’ve been distant and I don’t like it.”

All thoughts of hurting Danneel’s feelings left Jensen’s mind when she started screaming at him. “I’m not in the mood to be with you,” Jensen clarified, not caring how white Danneel’s face went when it was finally out in the open. “I don’t feel this way about you anymore. And I should have told you sooner, but I didn’t, and I’m sorry. But I can’t be with you anymore. I’ve changed – I’m not the man I was when this whole thing started.”

It was obvious what Jensen was saying, but Danneel didn’t want to believe it. He was going to have to say it if he wanted to break up. “So, what does this mean? Are you…breaking up with me?” she asked, holding back the tears that were threatening to slide down her cheeks.

Frowning softly, Jensen answered, “Yeah, I guess I am.” With that, Jensen pushed past Danneel and headed out of his tent, quickly moving into Jared’s tent to be with him. Before Jared could strike up a conversation, Jensen crushed their lips together, tongue pushing into Jared’s mouth to map out the familiar hot cavern. “I don’t want to talk about it,” he answered Jared’s silent question. “Danneel and I are over, but I’m not ready to let everyone know about us yet. Can you live with that?”

Honestly, Jared couldn’t believe that Jensen was even asking that. They had been keeping their relationship a secret for so long already – what was another few weeks, or months, or however long Jensen felt he needed it. Smiling widely, Jared crushed his lips against Jensen’s once more, hands fisting in Jensen’s short cropped hair. “Of course I can live with that,” he assured him, eyes ticking to his blankets. “Are you…gonna stay here with me tonight, then?”

Without hesitation, Jensen took Jared’s hand and led him towards the makeshift bed in the corner. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be right now,” he assured Jared, gently shoving him onto the ground and pulling Jared against his chest. It wasn’t long before both men were sleeping, allowing the events of the day to finally catch up with them.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

“Ah…s’cold,” Jared complained as he was pushed down to lay on his back, the cold metal of the surgery table sinking into his warm flesh. He tried to get up, relieve the prickling feeling he was getting on his back, but a strong hand kept him where he was, jade green eyes smiling down at him as Jensen climbed onto the table to join him. 

Chuckling softly, Jensen nudged Jared’s thigh with his knee, instructing Jared to spread his legs further. “S’not even that cold,” he argued with a shake of his head. Slowly, he positioned himself between Jared’s legs, right where he wanted to be, and leaned down, pressing his nose into Jared’s hair and breathing deeply. “Besides you’re the one who wanted to do this. Don’t crap out on me now. Not after you already got this idea into my head.”

Now it was Jared’s turn to chuckle, shaking his head as he tried to get away from the cold metal. “I didn’t know it was going to be so cold, Jen. You don’t have to worry about it because you’ve got me as a shield from the cold.” A small smile came to Jared’s lips as Jensen’s words finally sank in. “You’re kinda kinky, you know that?” he asked, one hand sliding up Jensen’s chest, feeling the muscles rippling beneath Jensen’s Henley. “I’m not gonna stop you – I would never do that to you, babe.”

Of course, if there was a way for Jared to get what he wanted and avoid the cold, he wished he could have taken it. Suddenly, it occurred to him that if Jensen didn’t think it was that cold, he could be the one lying on his back and Jared could use him as a shield. Smiling widely, Jared gripped the hem of Jensen’s shirt, pulling it off his lover’s body before he hitched his hips up off the table, rolling them so that he was now on top of Jensen. “Still not that cold?” Jared asked, smirking down at Jensen’s shocked expression.

On his back like this, Jensen could appreciate the fact that Jared thought it was cold. “It’s not as cold as you were saying that it was,” he assured Jared with a shake of his head. Smiling once more, Jensen gripped Jared’s hips, bucking off the table so his denim encased, hard cock pressed against Jared’s ass. “You’re so delicate, baby.”

A small moan escaped Jared when Jensen bucked against him, the younger man’s eyes closing in ecstasy. “M’not as delicate as you’d like to think,” Jared assured Jensen, wiggling down a little so that he could reach Dean’s belt buckle, quickly loosening it before he all but ripped Jensen’s pants open. He didn’t hesitate as he shoved his hand into Jensen’s boxers, hand wrapping around his lover’s dick as he closed his eyes, moaning softly at the feel of Jensen on his palm. “God Jen, you can fucking cut glass with this thing right now.”

As soon as Jared’s hand was on him, Jensen was in Heaven. “Yeah, I know, baby,” he assured Jared with a nod, eyes squeezed tightly closed in pleasure as he bucked his hips into Jared’s hand. “Please, just…stop teasing and get on with it. Please…need you now.”

It was definitely a rare delicacy when Jensen of all people begged, so Jared knew that his lover was desperate. Of course, they didn’t have any lube – not that Jared was too worried about it. They’d done this so many times before, Jared was surprised Jensen didn’t just thrust into him without preparation all of the time. He knew that now, even being as desperate as he was, Jensen was probably still going to argue with him about it, but Jared wasn’t going to waste time with preparations that weren’t necessary. “Shhh…I know what you need, Jen,” he assured the older man, smiling down at his lover as he stripped Jensen of the rest of his clothes. He moved to do the same with his own, managing to do so with one hand so he didn’t have to break the contact he had with Jensen’s member. 

Once he had all of their clothes off, Jared leaned down, crushing his lips to Jensen’s, tongue pressing against the seam of his lips and demanding entrance, which he was soon granted. He pulled back soon after, pushing up off Jensen’s chest and turning at the waist, hand gripping the base of his lover’s shaft before slowly lowering himself down onto him. Soft moans and groans broke from Jared’s throat as he sheathed Jensen inside himself, not stopping until Jensen was buried to the hilt. Once he had Jensen all the way inside him, both of his hands came down to rest against Jensen’s chest as his head fell forward, hair flopping down to cover his face.

It felt so good to be with Jared like this, which kind of surprised him since he wasn’t one to ever give up control. But, as with most things in his life since he’d gotten with Jared, there was something different about the younger man that just made him want to try new things. Probably because he knew that it would be good as long as Jared was in the equation.

When Jared had him buried to the hilt, Jensen moaned as his head pressed back against the table once more, watching his lover from beneath heavy lidded eyes. God, if he thought Jared was hot before, seeing him with his hair all in his face just made him so much hotter; it was taking all Jensen had not to thrust up into Jared before the younger man was ready. His hands came up to run up and down Jared’s arms as he mumbled, “You’re so fucking hot, Jay. Drivin’ me crazy.”

Feeling Jensen’s hands on him, Jared opened his eyes to mere passion-glazed slits. He was overjoyed that he could drive Jensen crazy, even when he wasn’t really doing anything. Huffing out a soft laugh, Jared replied, “Just wait until we actually get going. Then you’ll really be driven crazy.” Slowly, he gave an experimental thrust backwards, moaning when Jensen’s cock hit his prostate. He was definitely ready now.

“Oh God, are you ready, babe?” Jared asked, just wanting to check although he was pretty sure he knew the answer to that question. As soon as he received the disbelieving look from his lover followed by the nod, Jared pressed down against Jensen’s chest, making sure not to fall off Jensen in this unfamiliar position as he used his knees to push off the table, raising himself almost completely off Jensen’s dick before he slid back down.

Moans and groans filled the room as Jared continued to ride Jensen. There was no way he was going to last much longer, having been achingly hard since Jensen started touching him. And he was setting the pace just right, for both of them if Jensen’s moaning was any indication, and Jensen’s cock was hitting his prostate with every thrust. No, Jared was _definitely_ not going to last much longer at this rate. “J-Jensen,” he gasped, fingers curling around his lover’s nipples, short blunt nails digging into the flesh. “I’m close.”

The way Jared’s inner muscles were clenching around his achingly hard flesh let Jensen know it wasn’t going to be long before he was cumming inside his lover. His hands on Jared’s hips tightened their grip a little as he moaned in pleasure, his head once again pressing into the back of the table. “Yeah, me too baby,” he assured Jared, nodding slightly. “Do it. Cum for me, Jay.” One hand moved to grip the base of Jared’s shaft and began to slide along his lover’s length, using the precum oozing from Jared’s slit to help slick the way.

Once Jensen told him to cum and his hand soon followed, Jared was gone. There was nothing he could have done to stop himself from cumming at that moment, even if he knew it would have caused the world to end. His back arched, body tensing and his nipples pebbling as he felt heat pool low in his belly, balls drawing up close to his body before the first ribbon of cum shot from his cock, wetting Jensen’s hand.

As Jared came, his inner muscles clenched even tighter around Jensen’s sensitive cock sheathed inside him and Jensen was gone, giving a shout of pleasure as he came inside his lover. Moans of joy spilled from both their throats as they rode out the waves of their pleasure.

Jared was panting out his breaths and he could feel Jensen’s cum dripping out of him and wetting his thighs, but he didn’t care. Right now he was completely sated and ready for a good long nap.

“Mm…” Jensen moaned as he ran one hand up and down Jared’s back, his free hand moving to push his lover’s bangs out of his face. “You were amazing. Not that I’m surprised.” Biting his lip, he stroked the side of Jared’s face with the back of his hand, wondering how the hell he got so lucky. “How do you make me feel like this? I’ve never…I mean, I’ve never looked at another man before you, and now I feel like I can’t get enough of you. Even with everything that’s going on around us – this whole zombie apocalypse shit – all I can think about most of the time is how I’m gonna get you naked again.”

Hearing how all Jensen could think about was getting Jared’s clothes off had an unfamiliar feeling coiling inside Jared. He knew how he felt about Jensen, but he wasn’t sure that Jensen felt the same way. After all, Jensen had never said the words. And Jared hated that he was letting himself fall so hard for this man when he had no idea how Jensen felt. Sure, he had a pretty good idea that he was more than just sex to Jensen – the man had broken up with girlfriend for him, after all – but he wasn’t one hundred percent and that scared him. “Well, I’m a really good lay,” Jared smiled, rolling off the table and searching for his clothes.

A small frown came to Jensen’s lips at Jared’s answer, the older man pushing himself off the table with a sigh. “I don’t think that’s what it is,” Jensen assured Jared with a shake of his head. He didn’t understand what just happened. Everything was going so well, and now Jared seemed like he was pulling away from him. He watched as his lover quickly dressed, not even righting his clothes the whole way before he was trying to retreat. However, before Jared could get out of the room, Jensen gripped his elbow, forcing him to stop. “What’s the matter, baby?” Jensen asked, his free hand pushing Jared’s bangs out of his face so he could see his eyes. “We were having so much fun and it’s like you just…flipped a switch.”

He knew that he was acting childish, but Jared couldn’t help it. He’d dropped the “L” word multiple times around Jensen and not once had he said it. So yeah, Jared felt he was entitled to a little bit of anger. “Is that what this is to you, Jensen?” Jared asked, biting into his bottom lip. “Just us having fun?”

 _Now_ Jensen understood what the issue was. He apparently wasn’t wording things the right way. It didn’t surprise him, of course. Jensen had never been good with his words. “No, baby, not at all,” he assured Jared with a small smile. “You know how I feel about you. Of course this isn’t just us having fun. I mean, don’t get me wrong – it’s fun. But it’s so much more than that.” Slowly, Jensen stroked Jared’s face, a small smile on his lips. “I love you, baby. You know that, right?”

The shocked gasp that escaped Jared’s lips at Jensen’s words answered the older man’s question, a deep frown marring Jensen’s features. Apparently, Jared had no idea that Jensen loved him. Not that he should have been surprised. The one time he let the words slip from his lips, Jared had been sleeping. “Oh God baby,” he whispered with a shake of his head as he cupped Jared’s cheek, “I’m so sorry. I thought you knew.” Pushing Jared’s bangs out of his eyes, Jensen smiled, “I love you, Jared Padalecki.”

Before Jensen had a chance to say anything else, Jared surged forward, crushing their lips together so hard their teeth clanked. Jared knew that he was just being childish, but having Jensen say the words just solidified everything. “I love you too,” he smiled, biting into his bottom lip as he pulled back. The last thing he wanted to do right now was leave this room where he had Jensen all to himself and get back to the reality where they were still keeping their relationship a secret, but he knew that people were going to start getting suspicious so they couldn’t stay in here all morning. “We should get back out there,” he suggested, already feeling the loss of having Jensen just the way he wanted him although it hadn’t even happened yet.

“I’ll follow you out,” Jensen explained, leaning in to steal one last kiss before Jared was out of the room. He waited for a few minutes after Jared left before he made his own exit, heading off to find Christian and Steve so they could talk about strategies and figure out how they were going to take more of this hospital. If they were going to make this place their permanent residence, they were going to have to have more space. Especially since he and Danneel had broken up and he didn’t really want to be sharing the same space with her. And he surely didn’t want Jared to have to be around her.

As soon as he left Jensen, Jared headed towards the kitchen. Sex always made him hungry and Samantha was always cooking something if they had a place to do it. On his way to the kitchen, Jared couldn’t help but smile as he thought back to Jensen’s words, feeling like a kid with his first crush. However, when he ran into Danneel, Jared’s smile quickly disappeared. He didn’t like her on a normal day, but today she looked pissed, leading Jared to believe this wasn’t going to be a fun conversation at all.

Danneel couldn’t stand that stupid smile Jared had on his face. She had been up all night thinking about why Jensen would leave her, and Jared was the only thing that came to mind. Surely Jensen couldn’t have feelings for Jared – that was just disgusting – but maybe Jared said something to make Jensen think badly of her. Something had happened and she wanted to get to the bottom of this. “What are you smiling about, Padalecki?” Danneel sneered, blocking Jared from moving any further down the hall. “Have you had any good conversations with Jensen lately? Hmm? Did he tell you that he left me?”

A small frown came to Jared’s lips at Danneel’s words. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say to that. After all, he and Jensen were still keeping their relationship a secret, so it wasn’t like he could come out and tell her that he’d just been fucked on a surgery table. Before he could speak, however, Danneel continued, “This isn’t over, Jared. Jensen will _never_ leave me. Sure, we may fight and break up from time to time, but he always comes crawling back to me. And this time is no different.” Snorting out a laugh, Danneel spat, “We’re meant to be together. He loves me – he’s _always_ loved me. And don’t think I don’t know what you’re trying to do.”

Now it was Jared’s turn to laugh. Sure, he couldn’t reveal what he and Jensen were to each other, but he didn’t have to stand here and take this from her. “What exactly is it that you think I’m trying to do, Danneel?” he asked, brows knit in confusion as he gave his head a small shake. “Maybe you don’t know Jensen as well as you think you do. Maybe he just got tired of your bullshit and decided to break it off for good.”

Anger flushed Danneel’s cheeks red at Jared’s words. Without thinking, her hand came up and she slapped Jared across the face. “Don’t talk to me like I’m some paranoid bitch, Jared!” she accused. “I know you have some psycho crush on Jensen. Get over it, freak! He’s not into men! You’re trying to take him from me, and no matter what you do, it’s not going to happen! You just don’t have what he needs.”

It was coming out – like word vomit, and there was nothing Jared could do to stop it. Luckily, Samantha came to his rescue, a deep frown on her lips as her eyes darted between the two of them. “What is going on out here?” she asked, her voice controlled just like any mother’s would be in this situation. When no one moved to answer her question, Samantha’s frown deepened. “I asked y’all a question,” she repeated, glaring at the two adults who seemed intent upon acting like children.

Angrily, Danneel hollered, “Jared needs to understand his damn place in this group if he knows what’s good for him!” She wanted to hit him again, but Samantha was in her way. Everything about Jared right now was making her so mad that she could barely breathe. “Jensen doesn’t want him, and Jared needs to get the hell over himself. Just because _my_ boyfriend and I are taking a break, doesn’t mean Jared can weasel his way in and try to take him from me. I mean, Jensen’s not even into cock!”

Now that Samantha knew what was going on, she knew how to handle the situation. Clearly, Jensen and Jared were close – any idiot with a set of working eyeballs could see that – but whether or not they were intimate, she wasn’t sure. And quite frankly, that was business between Jensen and Jared. Danneel was just feeling a little bitter because of the break-up she was assuming and that never ended well. “Danneel, honey, why don’t you go ahead and take a walk? Clear your head a bit?”

Although that was the last thing Danneel wanted to do right now, she figured that it was best not to argue with Samantha. After all, she hadn’t had much luck making friends with this group of people since Jared got here, and Samantha made her food, so it was best not to argue with her. Angrily, she turned on her heels and headed towards the door. She wasn’t sure where she was going to walk, but she knew that if she had to look at Jared one more time, she was going to lose it. He was such a little asshole. And she was tired of it.

Before Samantha could get Jared talking, Tom interrupted them. “Hey Jared, can I talk to you real quick?” he asked, frowning at Samantha when she shot him a glare. Maybe Jared had told her what happened. No, that wasn’t something that Jared would do. After all, Jared wanted this just as badly as Tom, so it would have been stupid of him to try and push Tom away. “It’ll only take a minute. Please?”

Jared didn’t want to talk to Tom, but he figured that it was probably best to get this thing over with once and for all. There was nothing between him and Tom and the sooner the other man realized that, the better it would be for all of them. “Uh…y-yeah, okay,” Jared answered with a small nod. Slowly, he followed after Tom, stopping once they were out of earshot of everyone else in the hospital. “Okay, I’m not going any further,” Jared explained, crossing his arms over his chest and keeping a safe distance from Tom. “What do you want?”

“I want to talk about what happened at the CDC, Jared,” Tom explained, shushing Jared when he tried to argue with him. “I know that you probably don’t want to talk about this, but it needs to come out, Jared. It’s pretty clear that you’re harboring these feelings for Jensen, but you need to get over it. When you do, you might actually allow yourself to be happy. Listen to me, Jensen will never feel the same way about you that you feel about him. He can’t – he isn’t attracted to men. But _I_ can, Jared. I can love you way better than Jensen could even dream of doing. You and I…we’re just right for each other. We fit.”

This was ridiculous. Jared couldn’t believe that Tom was still trying to pursue him after everything that happened between them. Jared wanted _nothing_ to do with Tom, and there was nothing that was going to change his mind on this. Of course, this would have been so much easier if Jared had been allowed to tell everyone that he and Jensen were together. “Tom, it’s never going to happen between us,” Jared assured him with a shake of his head, moving back when Tom tried to touch him. “What happened at the CDC – you tried to _rape_ me. You would have if I hadn’t fought you off. That’s not love. You don’t love me, and I could _never_ love you.” Sighing, Jared started to walk off, adding, “You need to move on.” 

Without thinking, Tom reached out and grabbed Jared’s elbow, keeping him from getting away. This conversation wasn’t over. Jared was playing hard to get and Tom wasn’t amused anymore. Jared’s little game was only cute for so long. “You want me,” Tom hissed. “I don’t know why you’re trying to fight your feelings, but you need to stop. One day, you are going to be _mine_.”

Terror ripped through Jared at the sheer promise in Tom’s voice. This man was nuts – he actually thought Jared was going to be with him. Quickly, Jared jerked his arm away, turning on his heels and heading in the opposite direction. He had no idea where he was going, but anywhere was better than standing here with Tom. Because he wasn’t paying attention to the hallway in front of him, Jared ran right into Jensen, gasping in fear and ready for a fight if this new arrival wasn’t someone he was willing to see.

When Jared got into a fighting stance, Jensen frowned briefly before a small smile came to his face. “Your form is all wrong, Jay,” he teased with a small shake of his head. However, when he saw the look on Jared’s face – the fear behind those gentle hazel eyes – Jensen’s smile quickly faded, his heart rate kicking up a notch. “Hey baby, what’s wrong?” Jensen asked, his hands moving to Jared’s fists, pushing them down to his sides before he wrapped Jared in a hug.

He couldn’t tell Jensen what happened. Jared didn’t want to talk about it with his lover. Hell, Jared knew that Jensen would probably run off and do something stupid – like hurt Tom – and he wasn’t going to let that happen. Sure, Tom deserved a good ass kicking, but Jensen shouldn’t be the one to do it. Jared needed to deal with this on his own. Well, maybe not on his own. He knew who he needed to talk to and he just wanted to get it done. “N-Nothing,” Jared answered, shaking his head as he pulled away from Jensen’s embrace. “I just have to go talk to Jeffrey. I-I wasn’t watching where I was going. I thought you might be a geek, so…I panicked. I’m fine.”

Without another word, Jared stepped past Jensen and headed towards the back of the hospital wing where Jeffrey usually stayed when there wasn’t a threat of danger or he wasn’t needed for something. Jared could hear Jensen calling his name, but he couldn’t stop – he needed to figure this all out. And if there was one person he knew he could count on, it was Jeffrey. After all, Jeffrey had been the one to allow him in the group when he had been all alone. And Jeffrey had been the one to keep them all safe when Jared thought all hope had been lost – as far as he was concerned, if it hadn’t been for Jeffrey, Mike, and Chad, Jared wouldn’t be here today.

Just as he thought he would, Jared found Jeffrey sitting on one of the hospital beds in the last room. Gently, he knocked on the door, giving Jeffrey a small smile when he looked up at him. “Do you mind if I come in?” he asked, waiting for Jeffrey’s nod before he walked over the threshold. Honestly, he had no idea where to start, but he was scared and he needed to know that he had someone watching his back.

As soon as he saw Jared, Jeffrey knew there was something bothering the younger man. “What can I do for you, son?” Jeffrey asked when Jared walked into the room, tucking the photograph of his family under the pillow where he kept it. When he was alone, he liked to bring it out and remind himself of all of the good memories that he had with them before this whole thing started. “You look like you’ve got something on your mind.”

“Yeah,” Jared mumbled, giving his head a small nod. God, this was so hard. He had no idea where to begin. “It’s Tom,” he finally started, figuring that jumping right to the point and being blunt was the best option. “He has this crush or something on me and he won’t leave me alone. I tried to tell him that it’s never going to happen, but he won’t get it through his head.”

Frowning, Jeffrey asked, “What do you mean he won’t get it through his head?” If Tom was messing with Jared, Jeffrey wanted to know. He’d had a son about Jared’s age before all Hell broke loose, and he had grown very close to Jared over the last few months – he considered Jared part of his family and he wasn’t going to let anything happen to him. “Has he done something to you, Jared?”

Quickly, Jared shook his head, not wanting this situation to escalate. “N-No,” he assured the older man. “I mean, when we were at the CDC, he tried coming on too strong, but it was nothing. I stopped him.” Sighing, Jared took a seat on the side of Jeffrey’s bed, hazel eyes pleading with the other man to understand. “It’s escalating though. He just pulled me aside in the hallway and told me that one day I would be his. Honestly, I’m…scared. I don’t know what to do. I-I was hoping you could give me some advice.”

Jeffrey didn’t have much experience with this sort of situation. His son had been interested in women and there had never been any problems that he knew of. Still, he was certain of one thing – he wasn’t going to let Tom hurt Jared. Placing his hand on Jared’s shoulder, Jeffrey gave it a gentle squeeze. “Listen to me Jared,” he started, smiling softly, “I’m not going to let Tom do anything to you. You’re safe here with me, okay? In the meantime, just try to avoid him. I’ll keep an eye on him and if I think he’s becoming a danger to you or anyone else, I’ll deal with him. Okay?”

Although Jared knew that Jeffrey was being sincere, he didn’t understand how this was going to help. “What-What do you mean you’ll deal with him?” Jared asked, fearing that he knew exactly what Jeffrey meant. Tom was a little obsessive and kind of a pain in the ass, but Jared didn’t think he deserved to die.

He didn’t want to get into it. Jeffrey only cared that Jared was safe – he didn’t need to know the details about how he was going to be kept safe. “Don’t worry about it, Jared,” Jeffrey answered with a shake of his head. “Just know that you’re going to be fine and Tom isn’t going to be bothering you anymore, all right?”

Still, Jared wasn’t sure about this. He did feel a little safer now though. And he had to be on watch soon so he couldn’t stay here and have a huge conversation about this. Jeffrey was going to have his back and he felt a lot safer knowing that he had another person on his side. That had been all he wanted when he walked in here. Maybe Jeffrey would talk to Tom and make him back off. And if not, then he was going to be _dealt with_ – whatever that meant. “Okay,” he answered softly, smiling back at Jeffrey. “I have to take a shift on watch now. Thanks for the advice.”

With that, Jared was out the door, heading towards the main entrance so he could take his shift. It had been a long while since he’d had to take a night shift, and he was a little uneasy. After everything that had happened with Tom and Danneel that day, Jared just wasn’t feeling himself. Every little sound had him on edge. Sure, there hadn’t been an issue with geeks since they got here, but that didn’t mean anything. Honestly, Jared wasn’t worried about the dead right now – it was the living that was giving him all kinds of problems.

When a hand landed on his shoulder, Jared jumped, a shocked gasp escaping his lips as he pulled his knife, ready to attack. “Jensen,” he hissed, confusion clear on his face as he sheathed the weapon again. “What are you doing here? I could have hurt you just now. God, give me some warning next time. What’s wrong with you?”

“I’m sorry baby,” Jensen answered, frowning at how jumpy Jared seemed to be. “I just wanted to see you. Jeffrey told me what happened and asked me to keep an eye on you.” Slowly, Jensen started rubbing soothing circles into Jared’s lower back, pulling Jared a little closer so the younger man could rest his head against Jensen’s shoulder. “Has Tom tried anything since this morning?” he finally asked, anger causing him to pull Jared just a bit closer.

Jared wasn’t sure how he felt about Jensen knowing that Tom had threatened him, but he knew that he liked being held by Jensen this way. “No,” he answered with a small shake of his head. “I’ve been avoiding him like Jeffrey told me to.” And he was more than happy to do so. Really, Jared just wanted to forget all about everything bad that was happening in his life right now and he was perfectly content standing here and taking everything Jensen was giving him. But he knew that Jensen had to be up early tomorrow and he didn’t want to keep him up. “Babe, you need to go to sleep. Don’t you have to be awake early?”

It was true that Jensen needed to be awake early, but he kind of wanted to stay with Jared. He didn’t want to run the risk of leaving Jared here to fend for himself with Tom. Not that he thought Jared couldn’t handle himself, but he just felt better when he was around. A little added protection, he supposed. “I do have to be up early, but I can stay here with you until you’re done. Sleep is overrated anyway.”

Although he wanted nothing more than to stay here with Jensen and have some company, Jared knew that Jensen needed to get some sleep. “I want nothing more than to spend the night with you here, but you should get some sleep. A sleep deprived Jensen is a slow-reacting Jensen and with the geeks around here that can attack at any second, sleep isn’t exactly overrated.” Leaning in, Jared pressed his lips to Jensen’s tongue slipping between Jensen’s lips to tangle with his own briefly before he pulled back. “Get some sleep. I’ll be fine here.”

Arguing with that logic was damn near impossible, so Jensen decided against it. “Okay,” he breathed when the kiss broke, nipping at Jared’s bottom lip before he turned and headed towards his room. “If Chad comes out here early and lets you off the hook, wake me up. I wanna see you before we make the rounds of the hospital.”

Of course, Jared knew that Chad wasn’t going to get his ass out of bed any earlier than he had to, but he agreed nonetheless. As long as Jensen was going to bed, Jared didn’t want to strike up a conversation about how much of a morning person Chad wasn’t. And Jared couldn’t blame him – he didn’t really like waking up early either. Jensen was a morning person. Sometimes, Jared kind of hated it, but other times he could appreciate it. Early morning sex was definitely something he was never going to tire of.

The rest of the night was boring and uneventful. A few times, Jared thought that he was actually going to fall asleep, but he managed to keep his eyes open fortunately. It was about twenty minutes before Chad was supposed to relieve him of his shift when Jared heard a noise in the hallway behind him. Quickly, Jared turned towards the footsteps. There was no way that was a geek – it was coming from the wings where they all slept. Fear trickled into Jared at the thought that Tom was taking his chance to get Jared alone. However, when he saw that it was Danneel, Jared frowned, giving his head a small shake as he put his knife down. “Danneel what are you doing here?” he asked. “Chad is supposed to be taking over. I didn’t even know you took shifts for watch.”

Danneel wasn’t listening to what Jared had to say. She’d seen him with Jensen a few minutes ago and she had been furious. Hell, she wasn’t even sure what she was doing right now, but she knew that she couldn’t have this happening. As long as Jared was around, Jensen wasn’t going to want her for some reason. Honestly, she couldn’t fathom why Jensen would want to be with Jared when he could have her. “I saw you with Jensen,” she blurted, staring at the floor beside Jared – she couldn’t even look at him right now. “I don’t know what makes you think you can have him. He’s _mine_. It’s been that way for a long time and it’s not going to change because Jensen’s going through some mid-life crisis, or something.”

Clearly, Danneel was going through something. Jared could tell that she seemed distant – off in a way. Sure, she’d been off that morning when she all but attacked him, but this was different. “Danneel, I’m sorry that you had to find out about me and Jensen this way. It had nothing to do with you – we’re in love. It just sort of happened.”

“No,” Danneel argued, giving her head a violent shake. “You’re not in love. Jensen loves me.” Pulling the gun out of her waistband, Danneel pointed it at Jared’s head, her hand only shaking for a moment before she steadied herself again. “And once you’re out of the picture, Jensen will realize that and everything will be fine again.”

As soon as he saw the gun, Jared knew he was in trouble. He and Danneel didn’t get along on a good day when she was sane. Now, she was looking very _insane_ and she had a gun pointed at his head. “Danneel, listen to me. You need to calm down,” he tried to placate. “Think about it – if you pull that trigger, you’re going to have every geek within a ten foot radius on your ass. And think about the consequences. You will have killed a man. What if Jensen finds out? Do you honestly think he’ll forgive you if he knows that you’re a murderer? Hell, he used to lock people up for it before the world went to shit.”

Hearing Jared talk about Jensen only made Danneel angrier. “Don’t talk about him!” she hissed, her hand shaking once more. “I don’t want to hear his name come out of your mouth. You need to understand that you brought this on yourself. If you would have just left Jensen alone, this wouldn’t be happening. He wasn’t yours to take. And like I said, once you’re gone, this will all go away.” Chuckling, she added, “And let me worry about what Jensen’s going to think. All I have to do is say there was an attack while you were on watch – you got bit and I did what I had to do. By the time they find your body, the walkers will have already taken their toll on it and no one will be the wiser.” 

She took a deep breath as her finger squeezed the trigger a little harder. “I’m sorry Jared,” she apologized, giving her head a small shake when she realized that she was actually being sincere. She didn’t want to kill Jared, but she didn’t see another option here. If she wanted Jensen, he had to die. “But this is the way it has to be.”

This was it. Jared was sure that gun was going to go off and he was going to be a goner. The only thing he could think about was Jensen. He was going to be so broken up about this. And for all Jared knew, they were never going to hear the truth. Danneel wasn’t going to get punished for this and that was bothering him a lot more than it probably should. However, when he heard Danneel gasp in shock, his eyes popped open, a deep frown on his lips when she collapsed to the ground and he saw Chad standing behind her with an empty syringe. “What did you do to her?” he asked, taking a step closer as Chad kicked the gun away from her.

“Morphine,” Chad smiled, smugly looking at the empty syringe. “I found it in one of the drawers.” Glancing down at Danneel, Chad continued, “I heard her rustling around through the weapons so I followed her to you.” He could see that Jared was spooked about him knowing the big secret that he and Jensen weren’t doing a very good job of keeping, but he quickly calmed Jared down. “Please, I already knew you and Jensen were hot and heavy, okay? It’s not like the two of you are hiding it very well. I won’t tell anyone though, but I think they already have an idea. I mean, I’ve known for weeks.”

It was actually a relief that Chad knew about him and Jensen. Hell, if it were up to Jared everyone would know, but he wasn’t going to push the subject. When Jensen was ready, he would tell everyone and Jared was okay with that. But right now, he had to worry about what they were going to do with Danneel. “What are we gonna do about her?” he asked, eyes darting form Danneel’s sleeping form to Chad.

That was an awesome question. “Right now, I think we should just toss her in one of the rooms and slap the restraints on her. They should hold until later today when everyone wakes up and we can all figure something out.” Bending down, he lifted Danneel into his arms and started towards one of the rooms. “She’s clearly unstable. She was willing to kill you for Jensen – it’s best that we just tie her down for a few hours and go from there.”

Once they had Danneel secured in the bed, Jared headed towards Jensen’s room. He was exhausted and he just wanted to catch a few hours of sleep with Jensen. After all, Jensen didn’t need to be awake until nine and it was only six thirty. As soon as he entered the room, he stripped out of his shirt and climbed into the bed with Jensen, snuggling up close so that every inch of himself was pressed against his lover. A smile came to his lips when Jensen rolled over and wrapped his arms around him in his sleep, Jared burrowing his head into Jensen’s chest as he closed his eyes and allowed the exhaustion he was feeling to claim him in sleep.

**~~**

Danneel groaned softly as she came to, her head rolling on the pillow as she blinked her eyes open. Her heart started to beat rapidly in her chest when she realized that she was restrained to the bed, fighting at the bands binding her. She gasped when she saw Tom walk into the room, relief flooding through her. “Tom, thank God. Get me out of these things,” she complained, pulling at the bindings once more.

When Danneel asked him to free her, Tom merely shook his head, moving closer to the bed so he could take a seat on the edge of it. “I saw what you tried to do to Jared,” he explained, pulling the blanket off the floor and playing with the loose strings on the edges. “I don’t know why you would try to kill him, but I can’t allow that to happen. You see, Jared and I are going to be very happy one day. I can’t have you walking around the hospital thinking that you’re going to hurt him.”

Confusion was clear on Danneel’s face as she watched Tom play with the blanket. “Tom, what are you talk—?” Her sentence was cut short when Tom wrapped the blanket around her throat and pulled, cutting off her oxygen supply. She was helpless to fight when she was tied to the bed, but that didn’t stop her from trying. Unfortunately, Tom was too strong and the way her body was moving, bucking off the bed and trying to get away, only made the process go faster. Eventually, she lost consciousness again.

As soon as Danneel was unconscious again, Tom released her wrists from the restraints, dragging her body over to the center of the room where he threw the other end of the blanket around the ceiling fan and tied it there, effectively hanging Danneel. If she wasn’t dead already, she would be soon. But it was for the best – he had to protect Jared. The blanket didn’t look like it was very sturdy, but Tom felt confident that it would hold long enough to keep Danneel hanging until someone found her. Sighing, he gave his head a small shake as he walked out of the room, slipping past Chad so no one would ever know that he had paid Danneel a visit.


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Steve groaned softly as he pushed himself out of the bed that he and Christian shared. He hated it when he had to get up in the middle of the night and hit the head, but his bladder was screaming at him and there was no way he was going to be able to get back to sleep. Besides, it wasn’t necessarily _night_ anymore – early hours of the morning, but still. He still had a few hours left to lay with his lover, and the fact that his bladder was screaming at him was stealing those precious hours.

As he padded down the hallway, Steve saw a figure standing in the middle of his path, a deep frown coming to his lips. Slowly, he moved closer, his frown deepening when he saw that it was Danneel. What the hell? “Danneel?” he asked, taking a tentative step forward. “What are you doing out here? Jensen said that no one was supposed to be roaming the halls when the hospital was still crawling with walkers.” When she didn’t listen, Steve started to get angry, frowning once more when Danneel started moving slowly towards him. “You should get back to your room.”

When Danneel continued to walk towards him and not acknowledge that he was talking to her, Steve began to feel very uneasy. That feeling only grew when Danneel got closer and he saw that she was no longer the Danneel that he had known for years – she had been infected. She was one of them. His brain stopped working – he had no idea what to do. This was one of their friends. Sure, he hadn’t really liked Danneel all that much because he never thought that she was right for Jensen, but that didn’t change the fact that she was part of their group. Before this day, he had never seen one of their own forced to meet this fate. It had probably happened to the people at the high school they had lost, but he hadn’t had to witness it. This was a whole different ball game and he wasn’t sure if he could handle it. 

She was getting closer, her lips peeling back from her teeth as she snarled, arms up as she reached for Steve. Her uncoordinated body stumbled slightly with each step, though she was laser focused on getting to her meal. It wasn’t long before her hands wrapped around Steve’s arm, pulling him towards her so she could take a bite of his flesh.

A loud scream tore through the hospital, waking several of the survivors, including Christian and Jensen. Panic shot through Jensen as he searched the room, looking for Jared. Luckily, his lover was right next to him, frowning slightly and blinking up sleepily at him. “What the hell was that?” Jensen asked, pushing himself out of the bed and pulling on his sweat pants. “Stay here,” he ordered, tossing Jared a knife before he headed out of the room, his gun at the ready. 

Fear and anger were rushing through Jared as he caught the knife Jensen threw his way. “Jensen, wait, I’m not staying here. I’m coming with you,” he argued, pushing himself out of the bed. However, when Jensen gave him a glare and ordered him to sit back down, Jared did as he was told. He wasn’t an invalid, dammit! But it was a lot easier not to argue with Jensen. After all, Jensen was under a lot of stress lately – and Jared could always just disobey and deal with the consequences afterwards.

“Steve!” Christian yelled as he raced towards his lover, grabbing the walker that was attacking him without a care for his own safety. Roughly, he slammed his knife into the back of the walker’s skull, not stopping until it was buried to the hilt. When the thing stopped moving, Christian tossed it aside and moved to check on Steve, hands gripping his cheeks and forcing him to meet his eyes. “Are you okay, sweetie?” he asked, pressing their lips together when he received the nod from his lover. “God, I was so worried. Did she get you? Are you hurt?”

Shaking his head, Steve pulled away from Christian slightly when he saw that people were starting to gather around. After all, not everyone knew about them and Christian wanted to keep it that way. “No, I’m fine,” he assured him with a small smile. “I just…I froze. It was Danneel, Christian. She’s dead. She was one of them and I froze because of it.”

Quickly, Christian shook his head, pulling Steve into a hug. At this point he didn’t even care who saw them here because he’d almost lost Steve and it was fucking with his head. “Don’t say that,” he reprimanded, having a feeling that he would have done the same thing. After all, Danneel had been one of their own – she was part of their group and it was hard seeing someone they knew reduced to a walking, brain dead monster. Christian didn’t blame Steve one bit for freezing. “It would have happened to anyone. The only thing that matters is that you’re all right.”

By this time, Jensen had made it out to where everyone was gathered round, taking in the scene before him. “Is everything okay?” Jensen asked, eyes scanning the premises. As soon as he saw the body on the ground, Jensen felt his stomach drop. Moving towards the body, pushing through the crowd, Jensen nearly lost his dinner. Danneel – she had been the walker to attack Steve. She was dead, and Jensen’s mind was reeling. Sure, he hadn’t been close to her anymore, but they had spent ten years of their lives together – some part of him still loved her and now she was gone forever. 

Voices of scared citizens scattered Jensen’s thoughts once more, causing him to focus on the people who looked to him as a leader. He couldn’t let this get to him – not now. There were half a dozen scared people all wondering how this had happened right in front of his face and Jensen needed to give them all answers. They deserved that much. It was clear upon closer inspection that Danneel hadn’t been bitten or scratched. Hell, if Jensen had to take a guess, he would have guessed suicide, which made his heart ache even more. _His fault…this was all his fault._

Rob didn’t have a chance to see what was happening before Jensen pulled him off to a secluded place just a few feet away from the crowd. “They need answers,” Jensen jumped right in, glaring at Rob. “Danneel’s dead and they all want to know how she turned into a walker. There are no bites and no scratches – it looks like she committed suicide.” Saying the words made it all too real, Jensen quickly slamming down on any emotions he was feeling at the moment. He didn’t have time for this, dammit. “You have to tell them. They have a right to know that they’re all infected.”

Although Rob had wanted to keep that little bit of information to himself and Jensen for as long as possible, he knew his time had run out. Everyone was in a panic now that one of their own had fallen victim to the virus and they were looking for an explanation. Unfortunately, Rob didn’t know why they were all infected – he just knew they all had the virus lying dormant in their bodies. So, he had no idea how he was going to word this. Mark had always been the one who could “wing it” when it came to explanations.

“Uh…c-can everyone l-listen for a second?” Rob tried, his nerves getting the best of him for the most part. He hated large crowds. And he sure as hell hated public speaking, which is what he felt this was. No one was listening and he had no idea what to do in order to get their attention away from Danneel’s dead body and on himself. “People, please? I have something to tell you.”

This was ridiculous. Everyone wanted answers but no one was listening to the man who could undoubtedly give them said answers. “Everyone shut up!” Jensen yelled, cutting through the mass of noise and giving Rob a chance to speak. All eyes were on them and now al Rob had to do was keep their attention and answer their damn questions. Should be easy enough.

He gave Jensen a small smile of appreciation before he collected his courage once more and started explaining this situation the best that he could. “When Mark and I were studying the virus at the CDC, we learned some things about it,” Rob started, licking his lips as he pushed down thoughts of how his best friend had died. “We’re all infected.” It probably wasn’t the best way to tell everyone, but he had learned that it was easier just to rip the Band-Aid off quick. “Whatever this virus is that makes the dead reanimate, we all carry it.”

With this new information, the group erupted into a panic. Everyone was talking and accusing Rob of keeping this from them. If Jensen didn’t know any better, he would have thought that Sandy was going to have a mental break down. Jensen felt like he had to do something. Rob didn’t know why they all carried the virus, and everyone was looking to him for answers that he didn’t exactly have – Jensen felt kind of bad for the guy. “Listen to me,” Jensen shouted, getting the attention of the group focused on himself once more. “It doesn’t matter how we’re all infected. All that matters is that this virus is in all of us. We just need to calm down and not let this get to us. As long as we stick together, we shouldn’t have to worry about becoming one of those things.”

Jared, who had been following the sound of everyone’s commotion stopped dead in his tracks when he heard Jensen say that they were all infected. “What?” Jared asked, eyes locked on Jensen’s when the older man turned to look at him. He wasn’t so much concerned about the fact that they were all infected – well, it was a little scary, but he’d just heard Jensen say that as long as they didn’t die, it wouldn’t affect them. But the fact that Jensen had known and hadn’t told him wasn’t sitting too well with Jared. It made him wonder what else Jensen might be lying about.

However, when Jensen moved towards him, Jared’s attention was brought to the body lying dead on the floor. There was no doubt in his mind he knew who it was. “How—” he started, giving his head a small shake as he pointed to Danneel’s body. “What happened to her?”

When Jensen got close enough to touch Jared, he gripped Jared’s arms, trying to pull him closer. After all, he and Jared always showed affection when there was a tragedy in the group – no one would think anything of it. But Jared wasn’t having any of it, pushing Jensen away from him and giving his head another small shake. “What happened?” he demanded, giving Jensen his signature bitch face to let him know that he meant business. 

Taking the hint that Jared didn’t want his comfort right now, Jensen sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Danneel committed suicide from what we can tell,” he answered, tramping down on those pesky emotions again. The voice in the back of his head that screamed _this is all your fault!_ was a little harder to ignore, but he did his best. “She turned into a walker and tried to attack Steve. Christian put her down.”

Put her down – God, it sounded like she was an animal. But Jared didn’t understand how she had gotten out of her restraints. He and Chad had tied them tight enough that there was no way she could have escaped. Sure, she was scrappy when she wanted to be, but she wasn't that strong. Still, he couldn’t dwell on it – he could see that it was taking a toll on Jensen, although the older man was trying to hide it. “Are you okay?” he asked, biting into his bottom lip as he tramped down on his own anger at Jensen for not telling him about the virus being in everyone. 

It always amazed him how kind Jared was. Even when he was mad at him, Jared was still worried about his feelings. And honestly, Jensen wasn’t sure how he was feeling. “I’m fine,” he assured Jared with a small nod. But he couldn’t be out here anymore. Christian could have someone else handle the body care – Jensen just didn’t have it in him. “I have to be,” he whispered as he pushed past Jared and headed towards the room he and Danneel had shared. He just needed to be alone right now.

“Jen—” Jared started, reaching for Jensen’s wrist only to have his hand shook off. He could appreciate that his lover needed some time. After all, he and Danneel had been together for a very long time, so he knew this had to be rough on Jensen. Still, he wanted to help. All Jared wanted was to be there for Jensen. 

The group was all separating off into their own little places and Jared figured he should do the same. Still, Danneel’s death had him baffled. He kind of wanted to talk to Chad and see if he was just as puzzled. There was no way she could have gotten out of those binds without help. But who would have helped her? Everyone else was asleep. Or at least Jared thought everyone had been asleep. And if they hadn’t been, surely they saw what had transpired between Jared and Danneel and knew _why_ she had been locked down.

Because he hadn’t been paying attention to what was in front of him, Jared ran into someone as he walked down the hallway. “Oh God, I’m sorry,” he apologized, looking up from the ground to see who he had bumped into. His eyes widened and his heart rate kicked up when he saw that it had been Tom. “What are you doing here?” Jared asked, trying to hide his fear as he glanced around the hallway, silently begging for someone else to walk in. The last person he wanted to be in a long, dark hallway with was Tom Welling.

Honestly, Tom had been rifling through Jared’s bedroom which was just a few doors down this hallway. He’d stuffed a few pairs of Jared’s underwear in his back pocket as well as a photo of Jared and his family and he was satisfied for now. “I was just walking,” Tom assured Jared with a small shrug. “I didn’t know you owned the hospital. Am I not allowed to walk around?”

Of course Jared didn’t own the damn hospital, but there was no reason for Tom to be lurking about down here. After all, his room was on the opposite side of the place. There was definitely something fishy about what was going on here and Jared sure as hell didn’t like it. “No, I don’t care where you walk around,” Jared assured Tom with a shake of his head. “I’d just prefer it if you stayed away from me.”

A loud scoff escaped Tom when Jared insisted that he wanted him to stay away. “C’mon Jared, you don’t really mean that,” he assured him. “If it wasn’t for me, you would probably be dead by now. And I don’t mean by the walkers, either. I’m talking about a certain girl who thought you were after her man. She probably would have taken you out by now had it not been for me. And what do I get for my help? You’re being mean to me, as per usual.” He couldn’t help the pout that came to his lips as he continued to look Jared up and down.

Now it was Jared’s turn to scoff, the younger man rolling his eyes as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Danneel?” he asked, figuring that’s who Tom had been referring to. “She wouldn’t have killed me. She was harmless.” Sure, she’d pulled a gun on him and tried to shoot him, but Tom didn’t need to know that. “Besides, she’s gone. She killed herself last night. Christian had to take her down this morning when she tried to attack Steve after she’d reanimated.”

If he was being honest with himself, Jared’s ignorance amazed Tom. Surely Jared had to know how Tom felt about him, and he had to know that Tom would do anything to make sure Jared was safe. But for some reason Jared always played dumb and it was really starting to take its toll on Tom. He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. “Jared, I saw what happened last night,” he admitted. “She had a gun pointed at you and she was going to shoot you. I was gonna step in and help you, but Chad beat me to it.”

Confusion was clear on Jared’s face as Tom explained he’d been there the night before. But he couldn’t stop the story there. Tom had to keep going. Maybe then Jared would see how he felt about him and they could finally get over this hard to get thing and get on with their lives together. So before Jared could get a word in, Tom continued, “I stayed hidden while the two of you tied her up and I made sure you were both occupied when I slipped into the room with her. She was begging me to let her go – she never saw it coming when I wrapped the blanket around her neck and used it to strangle her.”

“What?” Jared breathed, all of the color draining from his face as Tom told him the story of Danneel’s death. “It wasn’t a suicide?” Tom slowly shook his head, a small smile coming to his lips. “You killed her.” Nodding, Tom’s smile grew wider. “Why would you do that? She was one of us! She was our friend!”

Anger slowly made Tom’s good mood dissipate as Jared yelled at him. “Our friend?” Tom asked, shock clear in his voice. “Jared, she hated you! She obviously wanted you dead! She felt threatened by you and she was going to make sure that you didn’t get what you wanted!” He wasn’t sure why Jared wanted Jensen so much – honestly, he thought he was an arrogant asshole – but that wasn’t his concern at the moment. “Don’t you get it? She would have killed you the first chance she got. I got rid of her so she couldn’t hurt you. I did it for _you_ Jared.”

Taking a step closer, Tom cupped Jared’s cheek, smiling softly at him as he whispered, “There’s _nothing_ I wouldn’t do for you, Jared. Don’t you see that?” They were meant to be together. Hell, they were _perfect_ for each other. When they had been together in college, everything was great. There had only been one thing that messed up their relationship – Jared didn’t bottom and neither did Tom. But they could get past that. Tom could show Jared how good it felt and they could make this work. “Please just give me a chance, Jare. We were so good together. And I know we can be even better now. Please?”

Shock had Jared rooted in place. Tom had killed Danneel. And he’d done it for _him_. Sure, he and Danneel hadn’t been close, but Jared had never wanted her dead – not really. He might have wished it when he was mad or annoyed with her, but he hadn’t been serious. Jared would never wish death on anyone – no matter how much he hated them. This was his fault. Danneel was dead because of Jared. God, he felt sick.

The nickname Tom used for him snapped Jared out of it, the younger man pulling back so Tom’s hands weren’t on him. Slowly, Jared shook his head, continuing to move away from Tom. “You’re sick,” he accused. “You’re… _crazy_! You need help! You killed a woman and all you can think about is getting with me? It’s never going to happen, Tom!”

Again, Tom could feel his anger rising, something inside him snapping as Jared backed away from him. “I’m crazy?” he asked, chuckling menacingly. “That’s rich coming from you. The only thing you can focus on is Jensen. It’s clouding your judgment.” Throwing his arms out to the sides, Tom hollered, “I’m right here, Jared! _Begging_ to be with you! I’ve proven time and again how much I care about you – what I would do for you – and _still_ you’re stuck on someone you can never have! Jensen doesn’t want you, Jared! Get over it and move on!”

Jared almost let it slip that he and Jensen had been together for weeks now, but he managed to keep it together. That’s not how he wanted people to find out. Instead, Jared just shook his head. “I’ll never be with you,” he assured Tom once more. “You need to get over it and move on,” he spat, throwing Tom’s words back in his face. “And stay the hell away from me.”

With that, Jared turned and jogged down the hallway, leaving Tom alone to process what he’d just said. He wasn’t sure if it would sink in this time – it clearly hadn’t the others – but he wasn’t all that worried about it right now. At the moment, Jared had a dilemma that he needed to deal with. Should he tell the group what Tom had done, or should he keep it to himself? Everyone thought Danneel had killed herself, but that wasn’t the case. Then again, if Jared said anything, there was no telling if they would believe him. God, he had no idea what to do.

**~~**

It had been days since Steve had been attacked and everything seemed to have gone back to normal for the most part. Jared hadn’t told anyone about his conversation with Tom, choosing to keep it to himself – and Jensen as soon as he stopped avoiding everyone. After all, there was no need to get Tom thrown out of this place. There was no telling if Tom would be able to survive out there on his own and Jared didn’t want to have to feel guilty about that. 

Still, that didn’t mean he was going to get sloppy and find himself in a small space with Tom again. Jared had been doing a good job of avoiding Tom these last few days and he was going to keep it up. The last thing he needed was another speech about how good they were together and how Jensen would never want him. Honestly, if Jared had to hear one more person tell him that Jensen would never go for him, he was going to explode.

Sighing, Jared pushed himself up off the floor where he had been sitting, noting that his shift was over and Jim was here to relieve him. He smiled softly when Jim pat him on the shoulder and told him to get some rest, nodding to let the man know he was planning on doing just that. There was one thing he needed to take care of before he could sleep, though – he needed to talk to Jensen. Sure, Jensen had made it very clear he didn’t want to talk to anyone, but Jared wasn’t _anyone_. Jared was his boyfriend, dammit! And he was going to see Jensen no matter what – even if he was the only one doing the talking. He had a feeling Jensen was beating himself up over Danneel’s death and blaming himself, so Jared was finally going to set him straight.

Jensen sighed as he rolled onto his back, glaring at the water spot on the ceiling. He’d been holed up in this room for days. Vicky had been bringing him food and sitting it outside the door for him to grab when he got hungry, but other than that, he hadn’t really moved from this bed. Danneel’s death had hit him hard. She’d committed suicide, and Jensen was convinced that it was his fault. She couldn’t handle the break up and she’d killed herself because of it. Sure, it was a little dramatic, but it was definitely believable – she probably wanted Jensen to suffer.

And he had been. _God_ had he been suffering. Jensen had isolated himself from the group, not letting anyone into his room and refusing to speak with any of them – especially Jared. And it was killing him. He hadn’t slept much, falling into sleep when he was absolutely exhausted only to be dragged out of it by hellish nightmares that haunted him for hours. More than anything, he wanted to go find Jared and have the younger man hold him and assure him that this hadn’t been his fault, but he didn’t. He didn’t deserve that – didn’t deserve to be comforted because this was his fault and there was nothing he could do about it now. The damage had been done and it was too late to fix it.

His door opened then, causing Jensen to groan softly, throwing his arm over his eyes so he didn’t have to look at the visitor. Maybe if he held still, whoever it was would think he was sleeping and just leave him alone. He was being antisocial – he knew that – but he thought he was entitled to it. His ex-girlfriend had committed suicide and it was his fault! Yeah, he was allowed to have some time to himself.

“Jensen?” Jared asked, frowning softly when the older man didn’t answer him. He knew Jensen wasn’t sleeping – he’d seen him throw his arm over his face and his eyes had been open. “I need to talk to you, Jen.” Still, there was no answer. Sighing, Jared moved to sit on the edge of the bed with his lover, frowning deeply at him. “I know you’re not sleeping. I saw you when I walked in here and you were perfectly awake.” Again, Jensen ignored him, causing Jared’s frown to deepen. Taking Jensen’s hand in his own, Jared pulled Jensen’s arm away from his face, not caring that Jensen was fighting him the whole way. “You’re going to talk to me, dammit!” he argued, pinning Jensen’s wrists to the bed as he straddled the older man.

When Jared tried to move his arm, Jensen fought like hell to keep it exactly where it was. But Jared seemed to be on a mission and Jensen didn’t want to run the risk of hurting Jared if he fought too hard to keep his arm where it was, so he gave in. However, as soon as his arm was released, he tried to get away from Jared by rolling away from him and tossing his arm over his face again, but Jared wasn’t having any of that. 

As soon as Jared was on top of him, Jensen’s dick took interest, causing him to bite back another groan. He couldn’t let himself enjoy this – not now. Not when he was in the bed that he and Danneel had shared. “Get off me, Jared,” Jensen ordered, struggling against the hold Jared had on his wrists, though he was extra careful to keep the rest of his body still. The last thing he needed was to get even harder. “I don’t want to talk right now, okay? I just want to be left alone.”

It was understandable that Jensen would want to be alone, but Jared had given him three days. They hadn’t spoken in three days and Jared was done with it. They needed to work this out. “I know you want to be left alone, but I’ve given you time. You haven’t been out of this room in days and it’s not good for you.” Pressing his hands more firmly against Jensen’s wrists so Jensen couldn’t squirm away, Jared continued, “I know you, Jensen! You’re sitting in here by yourself bottling everything you’re feeling up and that’s the exact opposite of what you should be doing. Just talk to me. Let me help you. Please?”

The pleading tone in Jared’s voice was almost too much. Jensen didn’t want to distance himself from Jared, but what other choice did he have? This whole thing was just terrible and Jensen didn’t know what to do. So, he went to his go-to emotion – anger. “What do you want from me, Jared?!” Jensen asked, giving one more hard shove and finally freeing himself. He didn’t give Jared a chance to recover before he rolled off the bed and pressed himself against the far wall. “Do you want me to tell you that Danneel committed suicide and it’s tearing me apart? That I know it’s my fault that she’s dead because I broke up with her and she killed herself? That I’ve been in here for days trying to work out the reason why I don’t care as much as I should? Why all I’ve been thinking about since I locked myself in this room is coming to see you and it scares the hell out of me how much I fucking care about you? Is that what you want, Jared?”

Jensen’s behavior actually scared Jared a little bit. Jensen was spiraling out of control while he was in here alone and he was blaming himself for something that he had no business blaming himself for. Had Jared known that Jensen felt like this, he would have made this meeting happen sooner. “Jensen,” he whispered softly, shaking his head with tears in his eyes. Slowly, he pushed himself off the bed, wrapping his arms around Jensen. He didn’t care that Jensen was trying to push him away, just tightening his grip so that Jensen didn’t succeed in escaping his hold. “Listen to me – you’re blaming yourself for something that isn’t even your fault!”

Jensen stopped fighting when those words left Jared’s lips, causing Jared to pull back slightly. Confusion was clear on Jensen’s face as he just stared at him, waiting for Jared to elaborate. “Danneel didn’t commit suicide, Jen. She was murdered.”

“What?” Jensen asked, giving his head a small shake as confusion took over. Murdered? Where had Jared pulled that one from? “There were no bite marks. No scratches. She hung herself, Jared. That’s suicide the last time I checked.” And Jensen was convinced that it had been all his fault. “What makes you think she was murdered?”

This is where things got a little tricky. Jensen was either going to believe him or he was going to think Jared was making up stories because he didn’t particularly like Tom. But what could Jared do? Jensen needed to know the truth. He didn’t even know where to start. Figuring that the beginning was the best place, Jared took a deep breath, steeling himself for the explanation and whatever consequences it may have. “Danneel came to me that morning after we had sex on the surgery table and accused me of trying to steal you from her. She told me that you would never go for me because I didn’t have what you needed. She was _pissed_ that you finally broke it off with her. Samantha told her to take a walk to clear her head when she heard Danneel yelling at me.

“But that night while I was on watch, Danneel came back. She’d seen you and me together and she just snapped. She pulled a gun on me. I tried to reason with her, but she just said that she’d tell people geeks had gotten to me. Chad gave her a shot of morphine before she could pull the trigger and we tied her to one of the hospital beds until we could figure out what we were going to do with her.” Jared sucked in a deep breath before he continued, “Tom trapped me in the hallway a few days ago when I was on my way to my room. He told me that he’d seen everything that had happened between me and Danneel and he killed her. He wrapped that blanket around her neck and strangled her until she passed out and then he hung her from the ceiling fan.”

Anger boiled inside Jensen when Jared brought Tom up. Of course, it made sense. Danneel had snapped and Tom took her out. But why? That was the only thing that didn’t make any sense. Usually, Tom stayed out of group affairs. So why would he interfere now? And why target Danneel? “Why?” Jensen asked, giving his head a small shake. “Why would he kill Danneel? The two of them barely even spoke.”

Shame colored Jared’s cheeks a bright red and he couldn’t meet Jensen’s eyes. “He did it for me,” Jared answered softly. “He thought that she was going to hurt me and this was his way of making sure that she didn’t.” Licking his lips, Jared glanced up at Jensen, fear evident in the depths of his hazel eyes. “Jen, Tom is dangerous. He’s gone off the rails – he’s _obsessed_ with me. No matter what I tell him, he won’t believe me when I say that we are never going to be together. For some reason, he thinks he has a shot with me. And…I-I’m scared about what he might do to the people around me – the people I care about – when I keep shutting him down.” 

More than anything, Jensen wanted Tom out of this place. He didn’t care where the little flea went, but he didn’t want him around Jared. Of course, he knew that couldn’t happen – they’d had this conversation before and Jared didn’t want to be responsible for Tom’s death. And it was almost a given Tom was going to die – hell, sometimes Jensen thought about putting a bullet in him himself, but he knew he wouldn’t. Well, until about ten seconds ago he knew that. If Tom was killing people, there was nothing stopping Jensen from shooting him if he was pushed hard enough.

But right now, he had to focus on Jared – on keeping his lover safe. Quickly, he gripped Jared’s biceps, holding the younger man in place and locking eyes with him. “Hey, listen to me, I’m not gonna let anything happen to you, okay?” he whispered, putting as much promise into his voice and eyes as he could muster. “You have nothing to worry about when it comes to Tom. I’ll kill him before I let him do anything to you. I’m gonna keep you safe, baby.”

There was no doubt in Jared’s mind that Jensen was telling the truth. He knew that Jensen would do everything in his power to keep Jared safe – the knowledge made him feel like nothing could touch him. It was hard to feel safe in a world like this, but having Jensen on his side made Jared feel just that – _safe_. “I know you will,” he assured Jensen with a wide smile, dimples denting his cheeks. “I love you.”

Leaning in, Jensen captured Jared’s lips in a passionate kiss, moaning into the younger man’s mouth when their tongues tangled. He’d missed this. Over the last few days, he’d all but craved this. Not being with Jared seemed to only make Jensen want him more, which was ridiculous. He’d never felt this way about anyone before in his life and it honestly scared him a little bit. When the kiss broke, Jensen pulled back, breaths panting out in large puffs, mixing with Jared’s own equally heavy breaths. “I love you, too,” he breathed before he crushed their lips together again, slowly walking them back towards the bed, pushing Jared onto his back when the younger man’s knees hit the mattress.

**~~**

Tom smiled as he placed the photograph of Jared and his family on the shelf in his room, making sure to angle it so he could see it from his place on the lab chair. He’d cleared out this wing of the hospital a few days ago so he would have a place to go when he wanted to get away from everyone else. After all, a man needed his privacy – especially when he was collecting various belongs of Jared’s. He had to keep those things from prying eyes. Not to mention he needed a place to go when he and Jared had finally made it official.

Sure, there was always the room he was assigned by the group, but that wasn’t private enough. He was right across the hall from Chad and Sandy and he could hear every little thing that came out of that room. Most of the time, he wouldn’t have a problem with hearing people make love, but since he wasn’t getting what he wanted, it hurt him a little bit. Besides, Jared looked like he was a screamer, and he wanted to keep that all to himself.

Of course, he knew that he would have to get Jared to finally admit that he was ready to make this work. He knew it was only a matter of time, but he was getting a little tired of waiting. Tom was ready to take things into his own hands. All he needed was the right means in which to do it. And he was very good at improvisation.


	17. Chapter Seventeen

Steve was sick. Somehow, he'd come down with the flu. And it was scary to think that even with everything that was going on right now – the zombie apocalypse and the world all but ending – someone could still get the flu. It just reminded them all that they were human and something as basic as the flu could take them out just as easily as a walker. Honestly, Jensen wasn't completely convinced it was the flu. Steve had been touched by Danneel for all they knew and he could be infected. The first stages were probably just like the flu. Jensen couldn't remember what Mark had said when he went through the process. It seemed like that had been years ago though Jensen knew that wasn't the case.

“We need to get him antibiotics, Jen,” Christian argued, tossing his bag over his right shoulder. “I asked around to see if anyone had anything, but whatever they had is all gone. We haven't had much luck with pharmaceuticals on our runs over the weeks. But this is a hospital – one that wasn't touched before we got here. Unless the walkers have been self medicating.”

Jensen couldn't help but roll his eyes when Christian suggested the walkers had been self-medicating. That would be the day. Still, that didn't mean the medications hadn't been touched. They didn't know who had been here when this all broke out. Sure, the place was taken over by the walkers when they had gotten here, but that didn't mean someone hadn't been here before the hospital had become infested. Still, they needed to try. After all, Steve was one of Jensen's best friends and he hated seeing him like this. Not to mention if their roles were reversed, Steve would have done the same for him. “We need to set up a team,” he finally explained. “We'll search the hospital and see what we come across, but someone needs to be standing watch at his door.”

Confusion was clear on Christian's face when Jensen suggested someone watch the door. “Why does someone have to watch the door?” Christian asked. “Do you think he's in danger of something? I mean, I don't think anything is going to get to him while he sleeps, Jen. I appreciate the concern, but I'm pretty sure he's safe.”

“It's not for his safety, Chris,” Jensen admitted, his face apologetic. “He was exposed to Danneel. We don't know anything about this disease hardly. If she scratched him or bit him and we missed it? We can't take that chance.”

Christian's confusion quickly turned to anger when Jensen explained his reasoning. “I checked him over when this happened, Jen. He's clean and you know it.” Honestly, he couldn't believe that Jensen was suggesting that Steve was infected. Sure, he could understand that they all had to be cautious, especially since it had happened to one of their own, but this was ridiculous. Christian saw Steve naked all of the time and he had checked over every inch of him. He wasn't going to allow someone to watch over Steve like he was some sort of threat. “No one is going to be bothering him while he is trying to get sleep and get better. I can't believe you would even suggest it.”

While he could understand the anger, Jensen wasn't going to take any chances with the rest of the group. “I understand Christian, but we can't be too careful. And it's not like I'm suggesting that we cuff him to the bed and leave him there. Just let Jared keep an eye on him while we're gone, okay? If anything happens, Jared will know what to do. And you know that Jared is all maternal and shit – he'll take care of him while we're out.”

Of course Christian trusted Jared and he knew there was no way he would do anything to hurt Steve. He still didn't like it though. Acting like his lover was going to cause someone harm if he didn't have a babysitter. But Jensen had a point. And he knew his friend wasn't going to take no for an answer because Jensen blamed himself for everything that happened with Danneel. “Fine,” he accepted. “Jared can watch him. _Only_ Jared.”

Nodding, Jensen clapped Christian on the shoulder. “Get a team assembled. I'll go get Jared and have him head over to your room.” With that, Jensen headed off towards his own room where he assumed Jared was still sleeping last night off. A wide grin split over his lips when he saw Jared curled up under the blankets, his hair falling slightly over his face in the messy way it did after a good night. Slowly, Jensen ran his fingers through Jared's hair, his smile widening when his lover started to stir. “Hey baby, how'd you sleep?”

Jared moaned softly when he felt Jensen's fingers running through his hair. He didn't even have to be awake to know who was touching him. “Fine, I guess,” he answered, eyes blinking open to look at the man of his dreams. The instant he opened his eyes, he could tell there was something wrong. Living in this world, he could tell quite easily when something was troubling Jensen. Pushing himself up onto his elbows, Jared asked, “What is it? Something's wrong.”

“It's Steve,” Jensen answered, sitting on the edge of the bed next to Jared. “He's sick.”

“Sick?” Jared asked. “What do you mean he's sick?”

“Relax, it's nothing serious. Not yet.” The panic was clear on Jared's face and Jensen hated it. “He just has the flu. But if we don't find him antibiotics, it could get serious. Chris and I need to get a team together and we need to search the hospital.”

Antibiotics – that made sense. When someone was sick, they needed medicine to heal them before all of this started happening so why would now be any different? But why was Jensen coming to tell him about this? Why wouldn't he just let him sleep and come see him when they were back? Unless Jensen thought he wasn't going to come back? They hadn't searched the rest of the hospital when they got here. It could be infested with geeks and there was no telling how many were here or what they were getting themselves into. “Well, I want to come with you, then,” Jared said, pushing himself further off the bed. “I want to help.”

He should have known this would happen. Of course Jared wanted to help. He always wanted to go off and get himself into trouble. Not that Jensen could blame him. Isn't that what Jensen was doing by going on all of these missions? No, he was the leader of all of these people and he needed to do whatever it was to save them. To help them all get through this. “Jared, you can't come with me. I need you to stay here. Please?”

Anger flooded through Jared when he was told he had to stay here. Jensen always wanted to go on these missions where he could get himself hurt and he never let Jared come along. “Why not?!” he argued. “You always run off and put yourself in danger and you _never_ let me come with you! I'm not an invalid, Jensen. I can handle myself just as well as you can! Do you forget that I was off on my own for _months_ before I found you guys?!”

It was kind of funny that Jared thought he was being shut out because Jensen didn't think he could handle himself. Jensen knew better than anyone just how strong Jared was. “Baby,” he countered, grabbing Jared's arm and forcing him to look at him as Jared reached for his pants, “I don't think you're an invalid. But I need you to stay back here today. Someone has to stay with Steve and watch him while we're gone. Just in case.”

Just in case? Jared's brows knit together as he tilted his head to the side, confusion clear on his face. “What do you mean I have to watch Steve?” he asked, pulling his arm away from Jensen. “You don't think he's going to –” Jared couldn't even finish his sentence. They've already lost so many people. He couldn't take it if they lost Steve too. Christian wouldn't be able to handle it if they lost Steve. “How bad is he? Why didn't we know about this before?!”

“Jared, he's not that bad. Christian told us the second he got sick,” Jensen explained. “But he needs someone to stay with him just in case. Jared, we can't be too careful, okay?” After what happened with Danneel, they couldn't be too careful about anything. Honestly, Jensen thought that maybe they were all immune to this for some reason. It was like he created this little bubble and everyone who was in his bubble was safe from this virus. But then Danneel had been taken by this sickness and now Jensen's bubble was burst. And he was scared of losing more people – people who he was even closer to. Like Steve. If they lost him, he knew Christian wouldn't be able to take it. But he couldn't think like that. Not now.

Hearing that Steve wasn't in that bad of shape made Jared feel better. “Okay, I understand,” Jared assured his lover. “I can keep an eye on him.” He wasn't quite sure why he had been chosen for the job, but at least it gave him something to focus on instead of the fact that Jensen was running off on another potentially suicidal mission. He did that a lot, he realized. “But Jensen, if anything happens to him and I have to – you know. I don't know if I can.”

A small smile came to Jensen's lips at Jared's admission that he couldn't hurt their friend if something went wrong. That's what he loved about him. He was just so pure at heart. He placed his hand on Jared's cheek and rubbed his jawline. “Yes, you can,” he assured him. “I know you can. Because if you don't, he'll hurt other people. And you wouldn't let that happen.” With another smile, Jensen pushed himself to his feet, pulling Jared up after him. “Besides, you're not going to have to worry about that. It won't come to that.” It couldn't.

Once Jared was dressed, he and Jensen made their way back to Christian and Steve's room. Christian smiled at them both when they entered, giving Steve's shoulder a small squeeze before he thanked Jared and led Jensen towards the small group of people at the end of the hallway. Misha, Vicky and Jeffrey created the group, which made Jensen feel a little better – at least they had a good team for this. 

They wasted no time getting moving once everyone was present. Jensen was sure Christian was already antsy and he didn't like the idea of leaving Jared there alone for too long. Not to mention they had no idea what they were about to be walking into. After all, when they first got here, they hadn't canvased the whole hospital – they'd only cleared out one wing and then had some heavy security detail to keep them all safe. For all they knew, there were hoards all over this place and they were about to walk into a huge mess. At least that's what Jensen was preparing for anyway. He found recently that if he prepared for the worst, he couldn't be surprised when it became a reality.

Almost as soon as they hit the edge of the hospital they had managed to clear when they first got here, they ran into trouble. There were walkers everywhere. Every time they turned a corner, there was another group of the undead coming at them. Luckily, they were able to fend off everything that came at them without breaking out their guns. The loud _bang_ of a gunshot would only attract more of their kind. 

“There! To the right!” Christian called from the front of the group, signaling that he had found their destination. Jensen kept a close eye on his surroundings, knowing they weren't out of the woods yet. Just because they found the infirmary didn't mean there weren't geeks in there too. Every other inch since they'd left had been crawling so there was no reason to think that room was an exception. 

Sure enough, as soon as Christian opened the door, walkers flooded the hallway. Their groans and grunts made Jensen sick to his stomach as the sounds filled the corridor. There were so many of them. And this had just been in the short distance to this one room. This was a _huge_ hospital – he knew the rest of the place wasn't going to be any different. The whole situation just made him feel uneasy. For the longest time, they thought that they had been safe here – this mission just proved otherwise.

The smell of rotting flesh pulled Jensen back to his current situation. He barely had time to raise his weapon before he was attacked. The walker was snapping it's jaws at him as he held it at bay, his knife just short of penetrating its flesh. Quickly, Jensen gave the expired woman in front of him a hard shove, forcing it off its feet. As soon as he had an opening, Jensen brought his blade down, shoving the knife to the hilt into the skull of the walker. He didn't pull his blade away until there was no movement underneath him, eyes ticking up to Christian and the rest of the group to make sure they were all okay as well.

Once inside the now clear infirmary, the group blocked the door behind themselves just in case there were any remaining dead that may come sniffing around for a meal. “Take everything you can fit in your bags,” Jensen instructed. “I want this place cleared out so we won't have to come back.”

No one wasted any time doing as Jensen instructed. After all, it was the plan from the get-go, although it had been unspoken. There was no telling when or if someone else was going to get sick and these medications would come in handy if that happened. And no one was all that eager to leave the small, safe space they'd created when they first arrived at the hospital. As far as they were all concerned, the only reason to leave would be some kind of major emergency.

As soon as their bags were all packed, they opened the door to head back. As they made their way through the corridors once more, Jensen felt somewhat more secure. They didn't encounter another walker on the way back, which meant they all seemed to be isolated to different wings. He could work with that. 

Jared finally let himself breathe when he saw Jensen and the others rejoining the group. He hated it when he went off on these missions and he wasn't allowed to go with. All he did was worry the whole time Jensen was gone and he hated that feeling. It was probably the worst feeling he'd ever experienced in his life – and it stuck around in his gut until Jensen came back to him safely. 

“Thank you for watching over him while I was gone,” Christian smiled at Jared, giving his arm a squeeze as he slipped past him and sat on the edge of the bed beside Steve. “Hi baby,” he whispered when Steve's eyes slowly fluttered open. “I got you antibiotics. Pretty soon you're going to be good as new.” His fingers brushed the sweat damp hair off Steve's face before he reached for the glass of water on the bedside table, handing it as well as a couple of capsules to his lover. “Take these. You'll feel better.”

When Christian sat on the bed with Steve, Jared figured that was his cue to leave. Now that Christian was back, Jared didn't have to watch over Steve anymore. He was in good hands – probably better hands now since Christian was his boyfriend and Steve probably wanted to be with him instead of Jared. All Jared had done the whole time they were gone was watch Steve sleep, which in hindsight was a little creepy. “Hey,” he greeted when Jensen got closer. “Everything okay?” 

Everything was not okay. It hadn't been since Danneel's untimely demise. “This place is crawling with the dead,” Jensen explained, jade eyes ticking up to meet with Jared's champagne hazels. “They're everywhere. It's just asking for trouble on our end.”

Confusion quickly turned to a mixture of fear and anger at Jensen's words. “You want to go back out there and clear more wings in the hospital,” Jared stated more so than asked. “Are you serious, Jensen?!” He couldn't believe that he had just come back from one of these suicide missions he kept going on and now he wanted to leave him _again_. “If you're going out there, then I'm coming too. I'm tired of you treating me like I'm an invalid here! I can't just sit around and wait for you to come back, worried sick to my stomach that you _won't_ come back!” 

Jensen understood completely why Jared was mad that he wanted to leave again. But at the same time, he knew that it was necessary and there was nothing that either of them could do about it. He had promised everyone that he would keep them all safe. They weren't safe here. And Danneel had turned into one of those things only a few days earlier – he wasn't going to let it happen to anyone else. It didn't matter how many people they had rotating shifts on watch every night – sooner or later, someone was going to mess up. And when they did, the whole group was going to suffer. And Jensen couldn't let that happen.

But there was no way Jared was coming with him. “No,” he answered sternly, shaking his head. “You're not coming. I can't risk losing you.” Jared hadn't been in a large group of walkers since the high school and he remembered how that had turned out. “I already have a team assembled. You need to stay here and keep an eye on everyone else. They're all scared. We lost one of our own. They need someone they can count on to keep them safe. And like it or not Jared, that's you when I'm not here.”

“They don't trust me like they trust you,” Jared scoffed. “You're their leader, Jensen. I'm just the dopey kid who follows you around pining after you for all they know. What makes you think they're going to listen to anything I have to say?”

Without hesitation, Jensen carded his fingers through Jared's hair, pulling him down into a deep, passionate kiss. His tongue pressed against Jared's lips, begging for entrance which he was soon granted. Only when he was desperate for air did he pull back, jade orbs locking with Jared's hazels. “They trust you. Just like I do. Please...stay here and be safe. For me?”

Jared's head was still reeling from the kiss when Jensen pulled away from him. Jensen had just planted one on him in the middle of the hospital with prying eyes everywhere. He wasn't sure if anyone was watching, but he was taking this as a sign that they weren't keeping their romance a secret anymore. This should have been the happiest moment of his life, but it was cheapened by the circumstances. “Why can't you stay here and be safe with me?” he asked, feeling tears prickling behind his eyes. “I can't lose you, Jen.”

While he could understand that Jared didn't want to lose him, Jensen was confident that he'd be fine. He always was when he went on a run. It was a skill he had – Jensen was skilled in that area. Before this all started, he had been at the top of his class in the force. Jensen made it a point to be the best at everything he did and this was no different. “I'll be fine, Jay. I promise. You're not going to lose me.” Leaning in to steal another kiss, Jensen pulled away from his lover. “I have to go. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone.”

Before giving Jared a chance to argue with him some more about what he had to do, Jensen turned and walked towards the end of their wing. Chad, Jeffrey, and Rob were waiting for him there. He felt confident that the four of them could get the job done. By the end of the evening, he wanted to have this whole hospital cleared. The walkers may have taken the outside world from them, they may have taken their friends, but Jensen would be damned if he would allow them to take this hospital from them too. 

They were just about to head off when Samantha called out Jensen's name, causing him to turn back towards the center of the wing. Samantha was jogging in their direction, a small frown on her lips. “I was just taking inventory of some of the food supplies we have left,” Samantha explained, keeping her voice low so she didn't draw attention to them. The last thing they needed was everyone to panic about nothing. Especially when Jensen wasn't going to be here to keep the masses calm. “We're running low on food. Maybe you guys can see if the cafeteria has anything that's salvageable? If not, we're going to have to make a supply run.”

Great. Just one more thing they had to worry about. “Yeah,” Jensen answered with a small nod. He was planning on checking every inch of this hospital anyway – there was no reason they couldn't attempt an inside supply run. “We'll check for anything we can use. We'll be back later and I'll meet up with you with whatever we can find.”

A small smile came to Samantha's lips at Jensen's answer. She had grown quite fond of this man while they'd all been together. She had grown fond of a lot of the group – she was like their mother. After all, she hadn't been able to have children of her own, so this was as close as she got. “Be careful, sweetie,” she pleaded, hand cupping Jensen's shoulder and giving it a small squeeze before Jensen headed out of sight.

**~~**

The seconds seemed to pass by so slowly when Jensen was gone – one minute feeling like it had been an hour. This time was no different for him as Jared sat on the floor beside Sandy. “He thinks I can't handle myself out there,” he complained, rolling his eyes as he tossed the crumpled piece of paper into the circle of syringes they had in front of them. Sandy had thought it would be a good idea to try to take their minds off everything by playing some kind of game. This was all they could come up with, and it wasn't really working all that well.

“I'm sure he doesn't think that,” Sandy defended. “He just wants to keep you safe, Jared. And we all know that you get weird around groups of geeks. I mean, not that I blame you. They're scary. And after everything they've taken from you? You're smart to be scared. But Jensen is just trying to keep you safe.” 

Every time there was a debate about the walkers, someone had to bring up the fact that he was suffering from PTSD. Yeah, he got it – the walkers freaked him out and he had flashbacks of when they attacked his family. But that shouldn't be something he should have to be ashamed of. And how did they expect him to get over it if they never let him try?! “Sandy, I'm going to have to get over it eventually. What happens the next time they attack us and Jensen isn't here to save me like he did last time?”

Shaking her head, Sandy assured him, “That's never going to happen.” She saw the confusion clear on Jared's face at her words so she figured that she should elaborate. “Jensen is _never_ not going to be around to save you, Jared. He cares more about you than he does anyone else – including himself. He'll never let anything happen to you.” That was the reason Sandy was so okay with their relationship even after everything Jensen put Jared through. She could tell how much Jensen cared for him and that was good enough for her to like the guy.

Anger unexpectedly shot through Jared at Sandy's words. He shoved himself off the ground as he complained, “Yeah well if he gets hurt on these suicide missions he's always running on, then he _won't_ be there for me!” Now that he was on his feet, Jared stormed off towards his room. He just wanted to be alone right now. Jensen leaving had him in a bad mood and he didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings by saying something he didn't actually mean. That's the last thing he needed right now.

Once he was alone in his room, Jared was able to just relax. He didn't have to be brave or anything else for anyone while he was in here. So he finally broke down. Everything that had been going on for the last few months just washed over him and he let it all go, tears streaming down his cheeks as he growled in frustration. Jared hated crying – he felt like it made him weak. But there were times when it was warranted and this was one of those times.

He was scared. Jensen kept leaving and each time he did, he would put himself at risk. Jared couldn't count how many times they had gone on a run for something and someone ended up not coming back it happened so often. And if Jensen was ever that person who didn't come back, he knew there was no way he'd be able to live with that. Jensen was the _only_ thing keeping him alive in this world – Jensen was the only thing that made him _want_ to live in this messed up world.

The anger he was feeling from earlier came back full force as he sobbed, shoulders shaking he was crying so hard. Angrily, he swiped his hand over the dresser, knocking down photos that he had sitting there of him and his friends and family. These photos were all he had left of his old life basically, so he lashed out at them without thinking too much about it. 

His mind was taking him to a dark place – a place where something bad happened to Jensen and he wasn't coming back to him. No, he couldn't let that happen. He needed to think happy thoughts. Anything to make him not worry about Jensen being out there with only three other people clearing out a hospital that as far as he knew was infested with geeks. Nothing good was going to come of these dark thoughts. 

Sighing, Jared pushed himself away from the wall, flopping down onto his bed. His pillow still smelled like Jensen from this morning when he had been sleeping there. It was almost as though he could feel Jensen here with him still. Instead of focusing on the fact that he had run off again, Jared thought about how they had been snuggled in the bed together the night before. He remembered how Jensen's bare skin had felt against his, their bodies touching in every possible place imaginable – remembered how Jensen's lips had felt against his when he leaned in for a passionate taste.

The thoughts about him and Jensen together had his dick stirring in his jeans, a small moan escaping Jared when he thought about how Jensen's tongue tasted against his own. His hand slid down his chest, over his abdomen, and pressed against his trapped erection. Jensen wasn't even here and he was still driving him crazy. How the hell did he do this to him? It was like he was that 15 year old boy again wishing to be with the God in his history class.

Jared had been so focused on what was going on in his head that he didn't hear someone coming into his room. A small smile came to his lips when he felt the bed dip, Jared slowly pulling his hand away from his jeans and wrapping it around the muscular frame that had crawled into bed with him. “Is that for me?” the man asked, his hand sliding down to grip Jared's erection.

As soon as the question left his lips, Jared's eyes shot open. _Tom_. Jensen wasn't back yet – this was Tom in his room with him. He tried to get out of the bed and as far away from Tom as he could, but before he even had time to react, Tom was sticking him in the arm with a syringe and injecting him with whatever was inside. Quickly, he shoved Tom off of him, scrambling away and off of the bed. He fell into the wall on the opposite side of the bed, his breaths coming out in shallow pants. “What are you doing in here?!” he yelled, trying to catch his breath.

Tom recovered rather quickly, moving off the bed and slowly walking towards the bedroom door. “I came here to take what's mine, Jared,” he answered, basically undressing Jared with his eyes. He tossed the syringe onto a gurney that he had waiting for him, keeping a close eye on Jared as he did. “I told you this was going to happen. Just let it happen, Jared.”

His head felt fuzzy and the room was starting to spin. “What –?” he started, fingers digging into the wall behind him in his attempt to stay on his feet. Tom had given him something. He'd injected Jared with some sort of drug and Jared was losing control of his body. “What did you...give me?” he managed to spit out, his limbs all of a sudden feeling too heavy for him to hold them up.

“Shhhh...” Tom instructed, pushing the gurney to where Jared stood against the wall. “Don't fight it. When you wake up, everything will be okay, lover.” Another smile came to his lips when Jared finally toppled over, his eyes falling shut as he lost consciousness. Tom wasn't sure how much time he had, so he needed to work quickly. Jared's upper body had fallen onto the gurney so he just needed to get his lower half on there as well. It took a little more effort than he thought it would, but he finally managed to get the task done. Once that was finished, he jogged to the bedroom door, making sure no one was around before he wheeled the gurney out of the room and down the hall to where he had a nice little spot waiting for the two of them.

**~~**

Jensen was sore as he dragged the bag full of supplies over his shoulder, wincing in pain when it brushed over a large scrape on the back of his arm. Damn, he must have cut himself when he fell onto the cracked tile. Christian was going to have to patch that up when he got back to the group. Jared was going to be pissed when he found out that he'd been hurt. Then again, it could have been worse. He could have been scratched or bitten, so maybe he'd just be thankful. But he knew Jared too well – he could already see his signature bitch face, which brought a smile to his lips.

Today had been a good day. Almost the whole hospital was clear of the dead now. The only place they hadn't ventured into was the basement, but Jensen figured they could tackle that another day. They were all tired and banged up from taking on so many walkers today and he didn't want to push them all too hard. He definitely felt better now though – he felt like he was keeping everyone safe. The odds of the walkers coming upstairs to attack them weren't all that great, so he could sleep easy tonight knowing that they were safer than they had been in quite some time. 

Now, all he wanted to do was get back to Jared. Jensen knew that Jared worried about him every time he went on these “suicide missions” as Jared liked to call them. And the cure for his aches and bruises was definitely some major cuddling time with Jared. Of course, he had to drop off the supplies to Samantha first since he promised that he would, but then Jared had him all to himself for as long as he wanted.

It didn't take the group long to get back to the wing they had been making camp for the last few days, Jensen making a beeline to Samantha as they all broke off into their own separate directions. “I grabbed everything we could find,” Jensen explained to Samantha as he handed her the backpack. “Rob has some more supplies and so does Chad. This should at least keep us stocked for a couple more weeks.”

Relief flooded through Samantha when Jensen gave her the bags. She was so happy they were able to find what they needed here so no one had to venture out of the hospital. Samantha hated it when they needed to split off into separate smaller groups and leave the confines of what they considered home these days. “Thank you so much,” she smiled, opening the bag and rifling through their findings. “This is going to be very helpful.”

He wasn't trying to be rude, but Jensen was not in the mood for small talk. “You're welcome,” he answered, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he glanced in every direction around him. He saw Sandy sitting on the floor a few feet away, but there was no sign of Jared, which kind of disturbed him. “Um...have you seen Jared?” he asked, hoping Samantha had some answers for him.

“He walked off towards his room a few hours ago,” Samantha answered, getting the hint that Jensen was only interested in finding his man at this point. Samantha hadn't missed the passionate kiss the two of them shared before Jensen left. “I haven't seen him come out since then, so I'd start there.”

Smiling widely, Jensen headed towards Jared's room, thanking Samantha on his way there. Jared being in his room made it more convenient for Jensen to get what he wanted, which had his smile widening. Although he had just been with Jared a few hours earlier, he felt like he hadn't seen him in forever. It was ridiculous how much he needed that man in his life now.

His smile quickly faded when he saw that Jared was nowhere to be found in his room. “Jay,” he called out, seeing that the room was a disheveled mess. When they had been hanging out while they were in high school for those few weeks before he made the mistake of having drunken sex with him, Jensen had learned a lot about Jared – like the fact that he was a neat freak. Sure, it had been ten years since then, but people didn't just all of a sudden become slobs. Something was wrong.

The bed wasn't made, which was unusual in itself, but the thing that was troubling Jensen were the photos thrown all across the floor. Jared had them perfectly placed on the dresser the last time he had been in this room and he didn't think Jared randomly decided they would look better on the floor. “Jared,” he yelled again, fear gripping him tightly and settling in his lower belly. Where the hell was Jared?

Without thinking really, Jensen headed back towards the rest of the group. He needed to talk to Sandy. When he left, Jared had been heading towards his best friend – so it was possible that she had been the last person to see him. “Sandy!” he called, jogging the last few steps to meet her. “Have you seen Jared?” he asked, a deep frown marring his features.

“Um...I was with him a few hours ago,” Sandy recalled. “He went to his room. He was upset. I haven't seen him since then.” She could see there was something bothering Jensen, which made her start to panic. “Why? What's going on? Isn't he in his room?”

Shaking his head slowly, Jensen answered, “I don't know what's going on. I was hoping you could tell me. Jared's not in his room and his pictures that he keeps on the dresser are all thrown on the floor.” Like there was some sort of struggle. 

_Tom_. Fear was replaced with anger as the thought of Tom touching Jared ran through Jensen's head. It made sense – Jensen hadn't been here so maybe Tom thought this was a perfect opportunity to pull something. And Jensen knew there was no way Jared was going to fight back too hard because he had a problem with hurting people – even the ones like Tom who definitely deserved it. “Where's Tom?” Jensen asked, eyes scanning the area for any sign of him.

Jensen was going to kill him. As soon as he got her hands on him, Jensen was going to choke the life out of him. If Tom had anything to do with Jared's disappearance, he was a goner. Jensen was done playing these games. Jared could get mad at him all he wanted – Tom was out of here. 

As soon as his eyes landed on Tom, Jensen stormed his way, grabbing the man by his T-shirt and shoving him into the wall. “Where's Jared?!” he demanded, arm pressing against Tom's chest and pinning him. “What the hell did you do to him?!”

A surprised gasp escaped Tom when Jensen shoved him against the wall. “I don't know what you're talking about!” he lied, trying to shove Jensen off of him. He quickly learned that was a mistake when it only made Jensen push against him harder, practically cutting off his air supply. “I haven't seen him!” Tom yelled. “He makes it a point to avoid me these days! You know that!”

Although he didn't believe Tom for a second, Jensen had no evidence that Tom had anything to do with them not being able to find Jared right now. Reluctantly, he released Tom, still glaring at the man. “He's gone. And his room is wrecked. I know you have some kind of weird obsession with him and you think he _belongs_ to you, but let me set you straight. He is _mine_. And if I find out that you had _anything to do with this, I will _kill_ you.”_

_With that, Jensen shoved past Tom, moving towards Jared's room once more in hopes of finding any sort of clue as to where Jared may have gone._

_The scene between Tom and Jensen had drawn attention, making Tom a little bit nervous. “I swear, I have no idea what he's talking about,” he lied through his teeth once more. “But I can help you guys look for him. I want him found just as much as he does.” Accusatory glares were coming at him from all angles, making him very uncomfortable. “If we all just stand here and stare at each other, he'll never be found! Let's move, people!”_


	18. Chapter Eighteen

Jared's head hurt. Everything was fuzzy and no matter how many times he blinked, he couldn't seem to get his eyes to focus. He had no idea what had happened to him the night before, but he did remember that he hadn't been drinking. Drugged, maybe? But by who? And how?

None of that mattered at the moment, he supposed. He just needed to get out of here. Fear and panic quickly mingled together when he tried to move, his heart rate kicking up dramatically. Jared couldn't move. His limbs weren't listening to him when he gave silent commands. Frantically, he tried to remember what had happened the night before. Jensen had gone off to clear more wings in the hospital and he'd been pissed. He'd been scared for his safety and mad that Jensen kept leaving him. So, he'd gone to his room to be alone and then – _Tom_. 

Everything in him was telling him to scream. Just yell for help and hope for the best. But he knew he couldn't. After all, he had no idea where he was and he didn't want to run the risk of attracting geeks. The last thing he needed right now was for one of the undead to come in here when he couldn't move – couldn't defend himself. 

Suddenly, Tom walked into the room, a small smile on his lips when he saw that Jared was awake. “You're up,” he stated. “I was beginning to think you were going to sleep the day away.” It was nearly dark outside, which signaled that Jared had been sleeping for almost 24 hours. He didn't think that he'd made his paralytic concoction _that_ strong. Maybe Jared just had a bad reaction to it. Next time he would have to use less. After all, when it came to anesthesia, everyone was different.

“What did you do to me?” Jared spat out, trying with everything in his body to make _something_ move. A finger, a toe, _anything_. But it didn't happen – nothing happened. He was stuck here – his body wasn't cooperating. Jared was at the mercy of this psycho who just wouldn't give up and take no for an answer. 

A small pout came to Tom's lips as he rifled through the crash cart he had in the room. Jared was being mean to him as usual. He didn't understand why Jared fought him so much. Surely, Jared could appreciate that everything he was doing here – everything he _had_ done – was all for Jared. “It's just a little bit of anesthesia,” he explained, shrugging as if it was no big deal. “You're fine. This is the only way I could get you alone. The only way I can have you how I want you.”

It was clear on his face that Jared was scared. Tom hated that. He didn't want Jared to be scared of him. He wanted Jared to love him. Surely, Jared could remember when they had been together. Those few months had been so perfect. Tom had already been planning the wedding. And then Jared had dropped the bomb that he was leaving him and everything fell apart. _Tom_ fell apart. 

Now wasn't the time to dwell on the past though. Their future was so much brighter here. Jared would see that Tom was the one for him and everything would go back to normal. Tom could finally have the life he wanted. “Shhh,” he whispered to Jared, trying to soothe his fears. “I'm not going to hurt you. I just need you to see that this is right. Once you're missing for so long, Jensen will think that you just wandered off and something happened to you. Eventually, he'll stop looking and then we can move past that part of your life.”

 _Jensen_ – he'd never stop looking for him. Would he? No. Jared knew that he wouldn't stop. Clearly, Tom didn't know Jensen like he did. Jensen was like a dog with a bone. When he wanted something, he didn't stop until he got it. And as far as he knew, Jensen wanted him. Jensen wasn't going to stop until he got him back. “You're even more fucked up than I thought,” he hissed, eyes ticking over to Tom when he saw movement out of the corner of his eye.

Anger shot through Tom when Jared spoke. “I'm fucked up?” he asked, scoffing. “You're the one who is pining after a man who wants nothing to do with you!” Slamming the crash cart's drawer shut, Tom moved towards Jared, gripping his arm roughly and forcing his palm upwards so he could see his veins. “For ten years you've been hoping and praying that Jensen Ackles would pay attention to you. That he'd want to be with you. You've wrecked every other relationship in your life for a pipe dream! I won't let you pass up a great thing for him. Not anymore.”

Clearly Tom hadn't been in the wing when Jensen planted one on him before he left. Tom had probably been down here in his lair planning his malicious kidnapping. Jared rolled his eyes at Tom's words, almost feeling sorry for him. However, his sympathy quickly faded when Tom manipulated his arm the way he wanted it. “What are you doing?” he asked, fear causing his heart rate to spike once more when he saw the needle in Tom's hand.

“I'm placing an IV,” Tom answered calmly. “Don't worry. I know what I'm doing.” Once he had the IV placed, he taped it into place, turning towards the bag of fluid on the IV pole to Jared's right. “If you paid any attention to me throughout the years, you would know that I'm a doctor.” He was honestly a little hurt that Jared didn't know that. He had been pre-med in college while they were dating, so there was no reason Jared shouldn't have remembered that.

Jared groaned in pain and irritation when the needle was thrust into his arm. The fact that Tom was a doctor didn't soothe him – it just made him feel even more scared. Being that he was a doctor, it meant that Tom could do whatever he wanted to Jared and he clearly was defenseless against him. He had no knowledge of the medical field, but he assumed that the reason he was trapped in his own body had something to do with the injection Tom had given him when he jumped him in his room. 

Switching tactics was his best option here. He didn't think Tom wanted to hurt him – _yet_ – so maybe he could reason with the other man. “You don't want to do this,” he assured him. “Please, whatever you're doing, you don't have to. You haven't done anything too drastic yet. We can fix this.”

Fix this? What was there to fix? “Jared, stop,” Tom answered, shaking his head. “The only thing that needs fixed is you. Once you're here for a few days and you forget about Jensen, everything will be fine.” Starting the IV drip, Tom smiled to himself. He did nice work. “Now, you have everything you could possibly need down here. And the best part is, no one knows this place is cleared out so no one will be looking for you. That gives you plenty of time to think about everything and make the right decisions.”

Again, fear coiled inside Jared's belly, leaving knots. Tom was insane. “Please Tom, you don't have to do this. Just let me go.” He tried to move again, but it was pointless. Whatever drug he had been given must have still been in his system. “I promise I won't tell anyone what you did. I can make up some excuse about where I've been and no one has to know the truth. Please?”

Still, Jared wasn't getting it. Honestly, it was a little sad. Tom thought he was smarter than this. “Jared, you're not going anywhere,” he assured him. “When Jensen is done looking for you, then we can talk about you leaving here. But until then, this is where you're going to be staying. So you might as well get used to it.”

Tom could see the defiance behind Jared's eyes and it excited him. He'd never done anything like this before, but he was finding that he kind of enjoyed it. He _liked_ being in control. Jared was going to rely on him for everything until he was released and that turned Tom on more than it should have. “Don't worry baby,” he whispered, pressing his body close to Jared's. “I'm going to take excellent care of you.”

A small whimper escaped Jared at Tom's words, his eyes once again moving to the IV bag beside him. He needed to get out of here. Tom was the last person he wanted taking care of him. Tom couldn't even take care of himself if his current mental state was any indication, so Jared's future here wasn't looking too promising. “How?” he asked, trying to hide his panic. “If you're missing from the group too, they're going to know something's up. And what if a geek gets in here while you're not here? I can't fight being paralyzed like this.”

“Jared, don't worry,” Tom whispered in his ear. “I've cleared this place out and I have all kinds of barriers set up. You're safe in here.” Tom had been in and out of here for weeks and nothing ever bothered him. Sometimes there would be a walker that had impaled itself on his stakes out there, but other than that, everything was quiet. He had the dead's blood smeared all over the doors so nothing excited them in this direction. People underestimated Tom a lot, but he was far from stupid.

Scoffing, Jared snapped, “Funny, I don't feel very _safe_.” As soon as the words left his mouth, Jared regret them. He saw Tom's body tense like he had just made him angry, which wasn't his intention. He figured that making him mad in his current position was a very bad idea. “I-I just meant...I can't move. It's like my body is paralyzed, or something.”

Tom's eyes roved over Jared's body, biting into his bottom lip as he thought of all the things he could do to Jared while he was here like this. “It's the anesthesia, Jared,” Tom explained, not caring enough to look him in the eyes. “I can't have you trying to escape and getting yourself hurt. I mean, I could tie you up, but what's the point of that?”

That was enough talking. Tom was tired of this pointless dialogue. “No more talking,” he whispered, leaning in and crushing his lips against Jared's, swallowing up the surprised moan that spilled from the younger man. Only when Tom needed air did he pull back, eyes locked on Jared's. Jared was his. Finally, he had him all to himself and he couldn't wait to get started. 

Of course, breaking Jared was going to be a difficult task – Tom knew that. He just didn't understand the hold Jensen had over Jared. How many years had it been since he developed that crush? At least 10. And still, he was holding onto it for dear life. It was like Jared wanted to use it as an excuse to not move on. Well, Tom was going to change all of that right now.

“Do you remember when we first met?” he asked, Tom's hands sliding up under Jared's T-shirt to circle around his nipple. “I remember it like it was just yesterday. You were sitting in the library with your head in all of those books. I knew right there that I was going to be a part of your life.” He had Jared's left nipple pebbled to his liking, so Tom moved on to its twin, smiling once more. “I asked if I could sit down with you and offered you the extra coffee that I had because my friend had flaked on me. I remember to this day how your smile made me feel all warm inside. It's been a while since I've seen those dimples, Jared.”

He didn't want to go down memory lane right now. Honestly, he didn't remember all of the details of how they met, or how they'd become a couple, or even how they'd broken up. Jared just wasn't interested. Sure, he'd been willing to give it a try because Tom had been persistent, but that's all it had been. Even back then, he'd known that Jensen was the only person who was ever going to make him happy. “Haven't really had anything to smile about recently,” he answered, his tone a lot more cocky than he had intended. “It's the middle of the apocalypse. My family, almost all of my friends, they're all dead. What could I possibly have to smile about?”

Sadly, Tom knew all too well how true that statement was. But he was trying to make the best of his situation in this messed up world. When Tom saw Jared come into the woods where they had been staying, he knew things were looking up. He just needed Jared to see this was a blessing. “I know this world isn't fair,” he whispered, breathing in Jared's scent as he shoved his face into the crook of Jared's neck. Nipping at the skin there, Tom continued, “I'm just so happy we found each other again, Jared. It was like fate.”

Fate – seriously? Jared didn't believe in any of that. He was a realist. Besides, even if he did believe in fate, he would have thought his and Jensen's story was better for the part. True love and all that bullshit. He groaned in displeasure when Tom nipped his skin, willing his body to move again but still to no avail. “Stop touching me,” he demanded, feeling sick at the very thought of Tom anywhere near him.

“You don't mean that, Jared,” Tom assured him, his hand pulling from under his T-shirt, biting into his bottom lip once more as he looked at Jared's peaked nipples through Jared's T-shirt. “If you would just stop fighting me at every turn, this would go so much more smoothly.” Jared's scent was all around him, driving Tom crazy. He needed to taste him again before he lost what little sanity he had left.

The kiss was a lot rougher this time, Tom moving so that he was straddling Jared's hips. Heat radiated up his spine at the feel of Jared's hard muscles beneath him. Just like Tom remembered him from college. Well, he may have added a bit more muscle to his frame, but he was still hot as hell. “I know you remember how good we were at this part, Jared. All of those late nights of me staying at your apartment, our bodies exploring each other when we should have been exploring the insides of our text books.”

Okay, he remembered that part. But only because to this day, he felt sick about it. While they had never gone all the way, even when Tom had been blowing him, or vice versa, all Jared had been thinking about was Jensen. It was all Jensen – it was always going to be Jensen. “Get off me,” he growled when Tom straddled his hips, fear gripping him once more. He couldn't move – couldn't fight this. “I don't want this! I want Jensen! It always was Jensen and it will always _be_ Jensen!”

Anger gripped Tom at the mention of Jensen's name, though he tried hard not to show it. Now was not the time for that nonsense. He had been gone from the group long enough – they were going to start wondering where he had run off to. The last thing he needed was a search party sent out for his as well as Jared right now. “Oh, I wish I could stay longer, pet,” he mumbled, pulling back. “But I've been gone for long enough from the masses. They're going to start wondering where I am.”

Checking the IV bag one more time, Tom turned to head out of the room. “Don't miss me while I'm gone, my love,” he cooed, pushing through the double doors and making his way to the rest of the group. 

**~~**

 _Eighteen hours_. That's how long Jared had been missing. Eighteen long hours. No one knew anything about where he could have gone, so no one was helping him. Jensen was alone in this hunt for his lover and he wasn't fairing very well. Currently, he had a suspect list, but not a long one. And he just kept coming back to one name in particular.

Clearly, Jeffrey, Chad and Rob were off the hook. They had been with him when Jared disappeared. Sandy obviously wouldn't do anything to put her best friend in danger, so Jensen had ruled her out pretty quickly. Christian and Steve weren't even on his radar, and he knew Samantha had been in the inventory room all morning. So, that left Misha, Vicky, Jim, and Tom.

It had to be Tom. No one else had motive. Misha and Vicky were friends of Jared's – they would never do anything to hurt him. And Jim was on watch all day, keeping track of the perimeter both inside and out. He wouldn't have had time to slip away and harm Jared. Then again, maybe he was wrong about it all and everyone was a suspect.

Jensen was losing his mind. In this world, every second counted – eighteen hours was like eighteen _years_ – and the longer he couldn't find Jared, the more danger he could be in. Of course, he knew that Jared could handle himself, but that didn't mean he wasn't worried about him. For all Jensen knew, Jared was lost somewhere in here hurt and afraid, screaming for Jensen to help him. 

His attention was pulled away from the blueprints of the hospital that he found when he heard Tom's voice. “Maybe he left the hospital all together,” Tom suggested, glancing over Jensen's shoulder. “Maybe he just couldn't handle being here anymore. People were looking at him like he was to blame for Danneel's death. Maybe it was just too much for him to take.”

Jensen saw red. Without thinking, he whirled around and grabbed Tom's shirt, shoving him into the wall behind them. Jensen could hear his friends gathering around him, some telling him to stop, but he couldn't make his body respond. He'd been searching for Jared since he got back and he was nowhere to be found. And now this smug asshole was trying to say that he'd left the hospital because people were giving him accusatory looks about Danneel's death. _He_ killed Danneel – Jared had told Jensen that much. Which only lead Jensen to wonder what else this dickhead was capable of.

“I know you have him!” Jensen spat out, pressing his arm against Tom's trachea harder. “Jared wouldn't just leave! He knows what's out there!” When Tom tried to struggle away, Jensen pulled him slightly away from the wall before slamming him back against it once more, letting Tom know who was in charge here. “I know Danneel didn't kill herself. It was you. Jared told me everything.”

The smug look that was on Tom's face quickly faded when Jensen let him in on the fact that he knew Tom was Danneel's real killer. He could see the looks he was getting from the rest of the group, Tom's nerves starting to run on overdrive. “I-I don't know what you're talking –” Tom started, only to be slammed into the wall once more, his breath leaving him with the force behind Jensen's blow.

It was no surprise Tom was going to try to lie his way out of this. But Jensen was not in the mood to play games – not right now. “Don't lie to me!” Jensen ordered as he slammed against Tom once more. “I know about _everything_ , Tom! About how you have this crazy obsession with Jared. How you trapped him in the library at the CDC and practically molested him! You're lucky he is so pure at heart because that's the _only_ reason you're still breathing!”

Everything was out of the bag now. Everyone was staring at Tom like he was some sort of criminal and more than anything he just wanted to hide away. Tom needed to get to Jared – they needed to get out of here. They could find a place just as nice as – if not nicer than – the hospital and they could build their lives there together. But he needed to get Jensen off his tail first.

Taking Tom's silence as defiance, Jensen shoved his arm against Tom harder, pushing himself away from the other man. Jensen reached into his waistband and pulled out his pistol, pointing it directly at Tom's heart. Jensen ignored the stammers around him from the rest of the group, not caring about anything other than finding Jared. That was his only priority right now. “Where is he?!” he demanded, jade green eyes locked with Tom's.

“Alright!” Tom yelled when Jensen pulled a gun on him, throwing his hands up in surrender. He could tell that Jensen wasn't playing and he didn't know just how far Jensen was willing to take this threat. At least if he got Jensen alone, he may be able to catch him off guard and get the upper hand in this situation. “I'll take you to him. But _only_ you.”

Jensen flicked his pistol in the direction of the doors leading out of the wing. “After you,” he instructed, keeping a close eye on Tom. Before he could get too far, however, Christian grabbed his arm, causing Jensen to break focus so he could pay attention to his friend.

Fear was evident in Christian's voice when he spoke to his oldest friend. “You know this is a trap, right?” he asked, hoping Jensen wasn't that stupid. “He's going to lead you somewhere that no one else knows about and he's going to try to kill you there. And you're _still_ going to follow him blindly?!” Shaking his head, Christian stated what everyone was thinking, but no one had the guts to actually voice. “Jen, for all we know, Jared could be dead already. Don't get yourself killed trying to find him.”

Anger flashed in Jensen's eyes when Christian suggested that Jared was dead. “He's _not_ dead!” he assured his friend. Jensen would know if Jared was dead. There was no way Tom was going to just kill him. In his own twisted way, Tom loved Jared. He had to be alive. “I'm going to bring him back. I'll be fine.” If push came to shove, he could take Tom. Jensen was trained by not only the police academy, but he was a black belt as well – he could handle himself without a problem.

Without another word, Jensen pushed past Christian and followed Tom out of the wing. He knew very well that Tom was probably going to try to trick him – make him slip up so he could get the drop on Jensen. But Jensen was determined to bring Jared back to the group. Whatever sick little game Tom wanted to play with his lover, Jensen wasn't going to have any of it. He would not hesitate to kill this traitor if he had to. Hell, Jensen was kind of hoping Tom would do something wrong just so he could shoot him.

There was a fork in the road as they continued further through the hospital, hitting wings that Jensen hadn't even yet explored. He could hear walkers moaning off in the distance, forcing him to kick up his defenses. If they came at them, he was going to be ready for a fight. He'd spent all day killing these suckers – he still had some fight left in him.

As soon as they walked into the wing that he had cleared out, Tom hatched his final plan. He hadn't been to the right of the fork yet, but he knew that's where all of the commotion was coming from. Jared was through the double doors on the left, so what better way to throw Jensen off than by leading him right? Pointing in the direction of the walkers, Tom lied, “He's through there. At the end of the hallway, there's a set of double doors. He's on the other side of there tied to a chair.”

Again, Jensen felt anger boiling inside him. Jared could have been attacked by walkers down here! Tom hadn't even taken the time to clear the wing out from what he could hear. “Lead the way, then,” he ordered, giving Tom a hard shove in the direction he thought Jared was. “If anything happened to him, you're _dead_.”

Movement from behind him caused Jensen to lose focus on Tom, quickly turning towards the source of the sound. His knife was out of his waistband before he could even think, his hand going around the neck of the walker trying to attack him. With one swift movement, Jensen shoved his blade to the hilt into the geek's skull, watching as its body fell to the floor with a _thump_.

While he had been distracted with the walker, Tom finally made his move. Reaching into the waistband of his jeans, he pulled his own gun, aiming it at Jensen. Of course, he wasn't a skilled shooter like Jensen and he missed his target completely. But it didn't much matter. The shot had gotten the attention of all the walkers in the wing, their moans and groans getting louder as they made their way towards the noise.

Tom bolted as soon as the shot fired off, heading in the direction of the room where he was keeping Jared. He wasn't going to stick around here and wait for the horde to come for him. Jensen would be enough to keep them distracted while Tom managed to get Jared out of here, he was sure. Where they were going to go was way beyond Tom, but he was sure they could figure something out. After all, the group had found the hospital – there was no reason he and Jared couldn't find their own little piece of Heaven in this world.

The bullet grazed by Jensen's shoulder, embedding itself in the wall beside him. This was it – the moment Jensen had an idea was coming. Tom was going to betray him and try to get him killed while Tom went after Jared. Intently, Jensen kept his eyes on Tom, watching the direction he took when he ran before Jensen's line of vision was blocked by the dead. 

He'd ran straight, which Jensen knew meant he was going left. Jared had to be in that direction. Now, it was a race against time – if Tom managed to get Jared out of wherever he was being held and moved, he would be back at square one. With his gun in one hand and his knife in the other, Jensen prepared for a fight. He wasn't sure how many walkers were in this wing, but he wasn't going to let any of them keep him from Jared.

On his right, a woman with her flesh rotting off her bones grabbed Jensen, pushing him back towards the fork in the road. Quickly, Jensen thrust his knife into the woman's head, kicking her body away from him as he was grabbed by another walker. Again, he used his knife on this one, raising his pistol and firing off a shot at the geek walking towards him. It went down in a heap, another walker tripping over its fallen mate.

They just kept coming. It didn't matter how many Jensen took care of. For every one that he dropped, two more would take its place. He didn't have time for this. Every second that he wasted with these monsters, an even bigger threat was attacking Jared. It was time to cut his losses and look at the bigger picture here.

Tucking his gun into his waistband once more, Jensen turned in the direction that Tom had taken off in, jogging in his exact footsteps. He could hear the moans of the walkers behind him, keeping a slow, steady pace, but he blocked them out. He needed to get to Jared.

When he reached the double doors, Jensen stopped in his tracks, almost impaling himself with one of the many stakes that were blocking the doors. He had to give it to Tom – that was a pretty clever trick. The walkers weren't smart enough to maneuver their way around the stakes, so if they came into contact with them, they'd basically make themselves a shish kabob. 

Noise and movement from behind the doors brought Jensen's attention back to the task at hand. Jared – he was in there. And Jensen wasn't leaving without him. He heard Jared yell the word _No_ , causing him to lose focus. “Jared!” he called out, trying to work his way through the maze of stakes faster. It was dark and hard to see, but he didn't care as the sharp edges of the stakes dug into his arms and thighs, leaving cuts.

Pain radiated through his body, starting at the top of his ribcage and exploding through every nerve ending. He jumped back out of reflex when he heard the sickening moans of a walker right next to him, Jensen quickly slamming his blade to the hilt through its rotted skull. Not wasting another minute, Jensen pulled his gun from his jeans once more, bursting through the double doors and firing off two shots, one directly after the other.


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Gunshots rang out through the room, causing Jared to freeze. Hope flickered through him as he glanced at the IV bag hanging beside him. Tom must have forgotten to add his little paralytic concoction before he left the room because Jared was able to move now. His movements were still foggy and uncoordinated, but he could at least make his body listen to commands now. And the first command he was giving was to get the hell out of here.

He'd counted the shots – one and then a second about a minute later. That sounded like someone was fighting off some geeks. Of course, there was no way to know, so he wasn't going to let his hope get in the way of the task at hand. All he had to do now was get this stupid needle out of his arm and run like hell. His knife was still in his pants pocket, so he could use that to defend himself from the geeks until he made it back to safety – back to _Jensen_.

Moments later, Tom burst through the door, causing Jared to quickly freeze up once more. He didn't want him knowing just yet that he was mobile again. “What's going on?” Jared asked, watching as Tom rummaged through the crash cart again. “I heard shots.”

“We need to go,” Tom answered, his actions erratic. Whatever he was looking for, he was having a hard time finding it. “They've caught onto us, Jared. They're trying to take you away from me again.” Finally, Tom found the syringe he had been searching for, turning his attention back to Jared. “I just don't understand why they won't leave us alone! We're not hurting anyone by being together!” Scoffing, he moved towards the IV bag beside Jared's gurney, shaking his head. “Except maybe precious Jensen since you're not pining over him while you're with me. _Dick_. I'm going to teach him a lesson.”

Seeing that Tom was about to inject whatever was in his syringe into the bag connected to his arm, Jared knew that he had to blow his cover. As quickly as he could, he shot up from his position on the gurney, shoving Tom away from him. The syringe clattered to the floor and Jared kicked it away, sending it under the crash cart. “I'm not going anywhere with you,” he spat, pushing himself to a standing position.

Once Tom regained his footing, he glared at Jared. The anesthesia must have worn off while he was being detained by Jensen. No matter. Raising his gun, Tom ordered, “You _are_ coming with me. _Now_. I'm not in the mood to play these games, Jared. We've wasted enough time. The walkers are out there and if we don't leave, they could get in here. This place isn't set up for hordes of the dead to attack. And those gunshots attracted them.”

Jared shook his head. “No,” he responded, standing his ground. “The only way you're getting me to go anywhere with you is in a body bag.” His attention was quickly drawn to the doors when he heard Jensen's voice calling his name. _Jensen_. Jensen was here for him, just like he knew he would be. Relief washed through him, blanketing him and removing the fear he had been feeling. “Jen!” he called in reply, ready to take a step towards the doors.

The sound of the safety clicking off had him stopping in his tracks. “He is _not_ taking you away from me,” Tom warned, his hand shaking as he pointed the gun at Jared. “If I can't have you, _no one_ can.” His finger squeezed the trigger, ready to take Jared out. 

His eyes snapped closed as he waited for the pain of the shots fired. However, when Jared didn't feel anything, he slowly blinked, eyes widening when he saw the blood pooling on Tom's white tank top just over his heart. Tom's eyes were wide and lifeless as he stared at him before he fell to his knees, Tom's body falling into a slumped heap on the floor.

“Jensen,” he breathed, turning his attention to the new arrival in the room. He willed every part of his body to go to him and pull Jensen into his arms, needing to feel his lover against him. Slowly, he managed to work his way over to Jensen, noticing that it was easier to move now. The anesthesia, or whatever Tom had used, was clearly wearing off by the second. When he reached Jensen, he pulled him tight against his body, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

When he saw the gun in Tom's hand pointed at Jared, Jensen couldn't breathe. He fired off two rounds before he even had time to think, not even flinching when Tom's lifeless body fell to the ground. Part of him was scared that he had just taken a human life and felt no remorse, but the other part was telling him that it had been necessary. Jared was in danger and Jensen had done what he had to do.

His body melted into the warm embrace Jared tugged him into. He had been worried for a while that he was never going to feel that again. Unfortunately, Jensen couldn't enjoy the hug as long as he wanted, knowing that there were walkers following behind him just waiting to come in here and chomp down on their flesh. There was an IV pole beside a gurney and Jensen grabbed it, shoving it between the handles of the double doors to block out any unwanted visitors.

Once he felt a little more secure in this room, Jensen took his time to look over Jared for any injuries he may have sustained while he had been held captive. On the inside of his elbow there was a small puncture wound, which lead Jensen to believe that he'd had an IV. That explained the pole that was sitting so close to the gurney. Other than that, Jared seemed to be fine. “Are you okay?” he asked, thumb sliding over the red spot on Jared's arm.

As soon as Jensen's hands were on him, running over every inch of him, Jared knew what he was doing. Jensen was checking him for wounds. If anyone needed checked for wounds, it was Jensen. He was covered in blood and grime. “Yeah, I'm fine,” he assured Jensen with a nod, cupping his cheek before he wiped away some of the dirt there. “Are you okay? You're covered in blood. Is any of it yours?”

“I'm fine,” Jensen assured Jared, pulling away from him when Jared tried to look him over. “We don't have time for this right now. We have to get out of here.” All Jensen wanted to do was get Jared back to their wing of the hospital. He just wanted Jared safe again.

Although he wanted to make sure that Jensen didn't have any major injuries, Jared didn't argue. He didn't want to be here anymore. “How many walkers are out there?” he asked, biting into his bottom lip as his eyes ticked from Jensen to the doors. If they were going to fight their way out of here, he wanted to know what he was going up against.

Jensen's mind was working as fast as it could to come up with a solution to their current problem. The gunshots had attracted walkers to their location and Jensen knew how Jared was when it came to hordes. Not that he didn't think Jared could take care of himself, but he wasn't feeling up to his best at the moment. And that's what was scaring him the most right now. “I don't know,” he admitted, shaking his head. “I just know that the gunshots attracted them here and we're going to have to get past them before we can get back to the group.” Ticking his eyes up to Jared, he asked, “Are you going to be okay?”

That was a good question. Honestly, Jared wasn't sure. It all depended on how his body wanted to react when he was thrown into the situation at hand. “I think so,” he assured Jensen, wanting to believe it himself more than anything. “As long as there aren't too many coming at us at once, I should be good.”

Satisfied with the answer he got, Jensen moved towards the doors, pulling the IV pole out of the handles and throwing them open. As soon as he did, three walkers made their way into the room, grabbing at Jensen and trying to pull him down to the ground. He quickly fought them off, burying his knife in each other their heads before he turned his attention back to Jared. “Let's go.”

Luckily, there weren't many geeks left inside the hospital. Jared was able to fight off three of them that were trying to make him their next meal and one that was coming up on Jensen from behind. Before he knew it, they were running into a clearing and slamming the doors behind them, Jensen shoving the chain and lock that had been there this morning back around the door handles to prevent any stray walkers from coming through the doors.

They were both panting out breaths as they leaned against the doors, trying to regain their composure. “We're safe now,” Jensen assured Jared, pushing to a standing position. “We cleared all of this out this morning. We didn't bother with that part because it was locked off. Nothing coming through there.” Except maybe Tom. The thought still had Jensen's blood boiling. “What did he do to you?” Jensen asked, needing to know the specifics.

Jared was a little taken back when Jensen asked what Tom had done to him. Honestly, he didn't want to think about it, let alone tell Jensen everything so _he_ could think about it too. But he didn't like keeping things from him, so Jared really had no choice but to lay it all out there. “Um...he came into my room after you left and he drugged me with some kind of anesthesia that made me paralyzed.” He could feel sweat beading on his brows as he remembered the events of everything that transpired over the last few hours. “And when I woke up, I was in that room. He put an IV in my arm and let it drip to keep me hydrated, I guess. I-I thought he was going to medicate me with it, but he didn't. And he...just kept telling me how we were meant to be together. Bringing up the past and promising me a great future together.”

His cheeks grew a deep shade of red as he continued, “He...um...just touched me a lot. He kissed me and groped me under my shirt.” He shook his head clear of the memories then, biting into his bottom lip. “And then he tried to shoot me. He said if he couldn't have me, then no one could.”

Hearing what Tom had done to him made Jensen want to go in there and shoot him again. But he knew it was too dangerous – and really not worth it. Jensen made sure to shoot Tom in the heart when he aimed – that meant Tom was going to come back as one of _them_. That was punishment enough as far as Jensen was concerned. Reaching up, he cupped Jared's cheek, rubbing his thumb across the smooth flesh there. “He's gone now, baby. He'll never be able to hurt you again. I promise.”

They needed to get back to the group. Everyone was probably worried about Jensen. After all, it was no secret that Tom had been a stark raving lunatic! Christian was probably losing his mind with worry because Jensen had been gone for so long. “We have to get back,” Jensen explained, groaning slightly when he moved a little too fast, causing his aching body to scream at him.

Before he knew it, Jared was in front of him, holding his biceps gently. “Are you okay?” he asked, deep hazel eyes searching his own jade orbs. “Let me check you over. Just to make sure.” All of this blood was worrying him. Sure, Jensen had been fighting his way through zombies practically all day, but it still made him uneasy. He didn't like seeing Jensen like this – he looked like he was in pain.

“I'm fine, Jared,” Jensen assured him, shaking out of his hold. “I promise. I just want to get back to the rest of the group. Sandy was loosing her mind when I left. She's worried about you. And everyone was weary about me leaving with Tom alone. They're going to want to know we're okay.” Jared seemed to let go of the need to check him over at the mention of their friends, Jensen slowly leading the way back to their wing of the hospital.

Once they were back, Christian threw his arms around Jensen, hugging him tightly. “Thank God you're okay!” he sighed, pulling Jensen impossibly closer. “You look like hell. And you don't smell all that better.” Chuckling at his own joke, Christian pulled back, smiling at Jensen. “I'm glad you're okay. So...Tom – what happened with him?”

Still, Jensen didn't feel anything about the fact that he'd killed another human being. “I shot him,” he answered, feeling a bit chilled by his own voice. He didn't even sound like he cared – there was no remorse in his voice at all. Jared was all right and that's all that mattered to him. “He had Jared drugged in some surgery room. He was trying to force himself on Jared while he couldn't defend himself.”

The anger in Jensen's voice and all over his face let Christian know that the scene was bad. He didn't even want to ask what Jensen had come across on his quest to get Jared back. Instead, he just gave Jensen a sympathetic look. “You know that's what had to be done,” he assured his friend. “Tom wasn't going to stop coming after him. You had no other choice but to stop him – for good.”

Giving Christian a small smile, Jensen nodded. “I know I didn't. He was dangerous. He was going to kill Jared. I stopped him.” And he'd liked it. “I did what I had to do. He told him that if he couldn't have him, no one else could either. I saved his life.” Still, not even flinching about the fact that he killed a human being – the feelings scared Jensen a little. “I need to go get washed up.”

With that, Jensen pushed himself past Christian, moving to one of the room surgery rooms in the back of the building. He needed to be alone right now. It had been a long day and he was tired. Not to mention a complete mess. There were scrapes and bruises all over his body and he needed to get each and every one of them cleaned up. Infections could kill people faster than anything and Jensen wasn't about to let that happen. It was a slow and painful death from what he knew about it.

He slammed the door shut behind him when he was inside the room, his hands pressed firmly against the wood of the thing keeping him from the rest of their group. Finally, he allowed his emotions to get the best of him, breaking down and crying for the first time in a long time. His shoulders wracked with the force of his sobs, Jensen just letting everything go in this moment. Jared was safe – Jensen had saved him and everything was okay. Tom was dead by his pistol, but everything was still okay.

Soft sniffles and hiccuping breaths were still falling from Jensen a few minutes later, the young man pushing away from his spot where he'd slid to the floor in front of the door. It was time to get cleaned up. He couldn't stay this way forever. There was a mirror on the other side of the room that Jensen made his way towards, taking in his appearance. 

Dirt and sweat mingled into a sticky paste on his face and his exposed arms, making him look like he had just been rolling around in soot all day. His gray tank top was covered in blood and grime – he could smell the dead all over him. Quickly, his hands moved to the button on his jeans, popping it open and pulling the zipper down. He stripped out of the clothing as quickly as possible, kicking them to the other side of the room once he was free. He just wanted to forget about what happened today. Maybe he'd burn them later. 

His boxers were the next article of clothing gone, adding them to the growing pile on the floor. His legs hadn't been damaged much in the fight, just one scratch from the stakes on his right upper thigh. It wasn't too deep, so he didn't concern himself with it too much. Jensen's hands then moved to the hem of his tank top, pulling the fabric slowly off his body, wincing in pain as the fabric was pulled away from drying, bloody wounds. Slowly, he let it fall to the floor as well before he finally locked gazes with himself in the mirror.

The upper half of his body was worse than the lower half. _Much_ worse. There were scratches everywhere from the stakes Tom had been using as booby traps. Turning so he could see his back, Jensen noticed there were large bruises from when he'd thrown himself into walls to get away. No wonder it hurt so badly to move. When he turned again, checking out first his right side, then his left, fear and horror built up inside of him. 

It was unmistakeable. Right there, at the top of his ribcage was a very clear bite wound. Jensen was going to be sick. He barely made it to the sink before he was spewing what little contents he had in his belly down the drain. Wiping the back of his hand across his lips, Jensen slowly pushed himself away from the sink, moving to the mirror once more.

He was infected. In a few days, he was going to turn into one of those mindless things that were lurking the hallways. No, he couldn't let that happen. Jensen was better than that. There was no way in Hell he was going to let himself become one of those things. After all, it wasn't like he didn't know it was coming. He had the opportunity to choose how he died – and he was going to take it. 

A few more minutes passed with Jensen just staring at the bite, his body feeling numb. He needed to get cleaned up. Maybe that would make him feel better. Grabbing one of the drapes, Jensen wrapped it around his body before he left the surgery room, looking for a shower somewhere. He made his way to the locker rooms, knowing there would be showers available there. When this place had been in use, the employees would be here for days at a time sometimes. They needed a place to wash up.

Jensen missed the cottage he and Jared had spent a lot of time in. At least there, he had warm water. This water was like ice coming down and piercing through his skin. Needless to say, he made quick work of getting all of the dirt and grime and blood off his body, getting out of the shower as soon as he was finished. 

One of the lockers had a pair of scrubs in it, so Jensen took them, quickly pulling them over his damp body to cover himself. Jensen felt so lost. He had no idea what to do now. All he did know was that he didn't want to be around anyone. He needed time to process everything – _alone_. This wasn't just something that you announce to everyone in a small group of scared civilians. This was something he needed to keep to himself – at least for now.

Sighing, Jensen made his way back to the room he'd found his injury, closing the door once he was inside. His eyes locked on the clothes that were tossed on the floor, staring at them. This room was just as good as any to hide out in. It was far enough away from the group that no one would wander inside. The only way someone would find him in here is if they were looking for him. And he was hoping no one would come looking. After all, the wings were cleared out now – his work was done. Surely, there couldn't be some major crisis that needed his attention today. He wasn't even sure he could handle another major crisis today. 

_Jared_ – maybe he'd be looking for him. Honestly, Jensen didn't know if he wanted to see him. Part of him wanted nothing more than to see Jared – wrap his arms around him and forget about the rest of the world for a few hours. Then the other part wanted to keep him away. When he found out about what had happened to him, Jared was going to blame himself. Jared wasn't going to be able to handle what was coming – Jensen didn't want to put him through that. Once again, he sank down to the floor, head resting on his crossed arms as he sobbed again.

**~~**

Hours had passed since he'd seen Jensen and Jared was starting to get a little worried. Jensen never just disappeared like this. And he had checked in all of the usual places he went to already. He'd even asked Christian and Steve if they'd seen him and neither one had. Now, Jared was reduced to walking the halls looking for any signs of him. Honestly, he was starting to worry.

They'd both had a long day. Jared understood that Jensen may have needed space, but he wished Jensen would have told someone where he was going. It was dangerous to be off alone. Sure, Jensen had cleared a lot of the wings out, but that didn't mean no stray walkers hadn't gotten through when that door was open today. Or there weren't some strays still lingering that the group of assassins just hadn't found on their mission. The possibilities were endless.

He'd already made his way through most of the hospital. Now, he found himself in the area where the doctors had performed their surgeries back in the days before the world had fallen. Peeking into each and every room was getting tiresome, but he wouldn't stop until he found him. Jared was sure Jensen had done the same thing when he had been looking for him. 

At the end of the hallway, he saw a door that was closed. Every other door in this hall had been open so he could just peek inside. Something was definitely fishy. Moving towards the door, Jared slowly pushed it open, relief washing through him when he saw Jensen gathering up his clothes off the floor. “Hey,” he greeted, smiling at his love. “I've been looking for you. I was worried.”

“Nothing to worry about,” Jensen assured him, tossing his clothes into the bio-hazard bin in the corner of the room. “I'm fine.” 

Jared frowned slightly at Jensen's answer. He didn't seem fine. And walking off away from everyone to hide out and not telling anyone where you are going is not the kind of behavior Jared would classify as _fine_. “You just disappeared,” he stated the obvious, closing the door behind himself as he stepped further into the room. “Is everything okay?”

Fear was evident on Jared's face and Jensen hated it. Everything was not okay, but Jared didn't need to be worried about that. Not right now. Not when Jensen had just gotten him back. There was absolutely no need to trouble Jared with the news that he had been bitten. None at all. “Everything is fine, baby,” he assured him with a nod. “C'mere.”

Jensen met him halfway, arms wrapping around him tightly as he breathed in Jared's scent. In the near future, Jensen wasn't going to have this anymore. Jared was going to be left here without him and he was just going to be gone. He was going to be dead. It still hadn't fully sunken in yet. Even if it was all Jensen had been thinking about since he found the wound several hours ago, it hadn't sunken in. 

When Jensen hugged him, Jared hugged back for all he was worth. He poured all of his emotions at the moment into that hug. He just wanted Jensen to know how happy he was to be back with him. And he wanted him to know how grateful he was that he'd found him – that he hadn't given up on him. Pulling back from the hug finally though not letting him go, Jared started, “Jen, I wanted to thank –”

Before Jared could finish his sentence, Jensen was surging forward, lips crushing against the younger man's. He didn't want Jared to thank him for saving him. He didn't want Jared to talk about how they were going to be together forever and how much Jared loved him. All he wanted right now was to forget. Everything that happened in the last 24 hours, Jensen wanted to forget about it. And he knew how Jared could help with that. “Don't talk,” he breathed when he broke the kiss, giving his head a small shake. “Just kiss me.”

Again, Jensen's lips were on Jared's, moaning into the kiss as he allowed himself to focus on just this moment. When Jared had been missing, Jensen had been so scared. He couldn't lose him. This world had taken so much from him – was continuing to take – and he couldn't let Jared be ripped away from him too. Another moan escaped him as he deepened the kiss, fingers carding in Jared's shaggy chestnut locks.

Jared's body immediately took an interest in what Jensen was doing to him. As he kissed him deeply, Jared walked them both towards the table in the middle of the room. He pushed Jensen down on it when he was close enough, blanketing Jensen's body with his. “Jen,” he breathed into his mouth, groaning softly as Jensen bucked his hips into Jared's.

Jensen's hands were immediately on the hem of his T-shirt, pulling at the fabric roughly before Jared got the hint and helped him remove it. Their lips crashed together again when his shirt was gone, Jensen's hands moving to undo the button and zipper of his jeans. Jensen wasted no time pushing his hand down the waistband of Jared's boxers once he had access, wrapping his fingers around Jared's already hard member.

A load groan escaped Jared when Jensen's fingers met flesh. God, he missed this. His head fell into the crook of his neck, breathing in Jensen's scent before nipping at the delicate flesh there. He knew Jensen loved it when he did that. He pulled back after a few moments, reaching for the hem of Jensen's scrub top, wanting nothing separating the two of them.

Fear gripped Jensen when Jared reached for the bottom of his shirt, his hand moving to quickly stop him. “Don't,” he argued with a shake of his head. “Just leave it on. This table is gonna be cold just like the last one.” At least he had a reason to explain away his need to keep his upper body clothed. Jared couldn't see what had happened to him when he came for him.

Instead of dwelling on the fact that Jensen wanted to keep his shirt on, Jared instead moved to the scrub pants. It didn't take long to have the fabric pulled off Jensen's bowed legs, Jared never losing eye contact as he pulled completely off of him to remove his own pants.

Once he was naked, Jared climbed on top of Jensen, positioning himself on the older man's thighs. His head dipped once more as he captured Jensen's lips with his own, one hand moving to fist in his hair as he dragged Jensen impossibly closer. With one thrust, Jensen was buried to the hilt inside Jared, the younger man groaning in pleasure. He didn't wait long before he was moving his hips, riding Jensen at a slow, teasing pace. Again, his eyes locked with Jensen's as he continued to move his hips, watching what his actions were doing to his lover.

Honestly, Jensen enjoyed the rough treatment. Usually, Jared wait for Jensen to take the lead and just go with it. Not today though. Today, Jared was taking control and Jensen liked it. However, he didn't like the slow pace Jared was setting. “Jared, come on,” he all but whined, brows knit with frustration. “I know you're just doin' this to tease me. M”not gonna break you. And you sure as hell ain't gonna break me.” He was already broken beyond repair. He was _dying_. A little bit of rough treatment wasn't going to speed up the process.

Although he liked teasing Jensen, Jared knew he wasn't going to accomplish anything for either of them at this pace. “So bossy,” he accused with a small chuckle. Of course, that didn't stop him from listening to him, instantly picking up speed until their bodies were moving up the table with his movements. A few more deep thrusts and he was cumming, biting back another moan as Jensen's fingernails dug into the soft flesh of his hips as Jensen crashed over the edge with him. 

As he allowed his breaths to come back to him, Jared pulled off Jensen, not wanting to crush the smaller man. Once he had his pants and shirt back on, Jared handed Jensen his scrub bottoms, smiling softly at him. “I'm digging the scrubs,” he teased lightly. “You look really good in them. Baby blue is definitely a good color on you, babe.”

Rolling his eyes as he pushed to his feet, Jensen answered, “Yeah, I bet. You're just making fun of me right now.” Stretching his aching muscles, Jensen continued, “It was all I could find. I mean, I wasn't going to put the filthy clothes I had on before my shower back on my clean body. So I improvised.”

“I'm not making fun at all,” Jared assured him. “You look good in every color you wear.” Jared was tired. The events of the day were finally catching up to him and he was ready to crash – _hard_. “Hey, are you tired? I'm beat.” His hand reached for Jensen's, lacing their fingers together lovingly. “Let's get some sleep, babe.”

Sleep? Jensen couldn't even think about sleep right now. He was wired. At least his mind was. Sure, his body could have probably used some rest, but there was no way that was happening. “Um...I'm not really tired,” he answered, pulling his hand out of Jared's. This had to stop – he needed to distance himself now so when this infection finally took him, Jared was ready for it. He didn't need to get any more attached to Jensen. “Plus, I said I would take over watch tonight, so you should just go to bed without me.”

A deep frown came to Jared's lips when Jensen pulled away from him. He hated it when he did that. “Oh, okay,” he whispered, hurt clear in his voice. “I'll just...see you tomorrow morning then.” With that, Jared walked out of the room, heading to his own part of the hospital. Once inside his own room, Jared took the time to pick up the pictures that had been knocked over in the struggle, tidying up as best as he could. 

He sighed as he flopped onto the bed, curling into a ball. Jensen had been acting weird. And now he didn't want to sleep in the same room as him. Maybe they were going back to how they'd been when he was with Danneel. No – Jared couldn't handle that. His mind went to what Tom had done to him and he felt tears stinging his eyes. Maybe that was it – Jensen didn't want to be with him after Tom had been touching and groping all over him. The sex they'd had just now could have been just that – _sex_. Not love making like he always thought when they were together. Just a way for Jensen to get his rocks off. 

The thoughts running through his head right now had him curling even further in on himself, tears falling from his eyes and staining his cheeks. Exhaustion was weighing heavily on him, pulling him into the depths of sleep even as his mind raced with reasons why Jensen wasn't in this bed with him right now.


	20. Chapter Twenty

Jensen was avoiding everyone – including him – and it was driving Jared insane. He hadn't even come out of that stupid surgery room for more than three hours in the last day. And everyone was coming to him and asking him if he knew anything. Like he was Jensen's keeper, or something. Jared had no idea what was going on and everyone bothering him was just making everything worse. All Jared had to go on were the thoughts in his head – scenarios as to why Jensen would be avoiding him – and none of them were any good.

He'd just left the surgery room about ten minutes earlier and he was mad. Jensen had all but blown him off. He just wanted to talk to him – get him to explain what was going on inside the beautiful mind of his, but Jensen basically shoved him out the door as fast as he'd gone in. It was like he was committing a crime by worrying about him! Jared wasn't about to apologize for being worried about the man that he loved! Especially after _everything_ they had both been through. It just wasn't going to happen.

Now, he was on his way to Steve and Christian's room in search of some help. If Jensen wouldn't talk to him, maybe he would open up to his best friends. After all, Christian was practically his family. And Jensen had known Steve for almost ten years, so there was a good chance one of them could get him to talk. And if this didn't work, Jared was at a loss. But he couldn't think negative thoughts like that right now. Not when there were so many other negative things running through his head, making it pound. Something had to give – and he was positive that Christian and Steve were that something.

When he got back to the wing, Christian and Steve were setting up a team to head out on a run. He'd heard that supplies were running low, but he hadn't thought they'd need to leave so soon. Jared couldn't let them leave without at least trying to talk to Jensen. He couldn't stay like this! He needed Jensen back – _his_ Jensen! And Steve and Christian were his only chance.

Quickly, he grabbed both of them and led them away from the rest of the group. Now that Jensen was AWOL, everyone was looking to Christian to step up, which Jared knew was causing the man some stress. And he hated to put more on him, but this was important. Hopefully, Christian would agree with him. “Hey, have you guys had a chance to talk to Jensen lately?” he asked, biting into his bottom lip nervously. Just as he'd suspected, they hadn't even _seen_ him since he came back, let alone spoken to him.

“Is he in trouble?” Christian asked, noticing that Jared was being weird. He knew that could only mean one thing – something was going on with Jensen and Jared was asking for their help. Now wasn't the best time, but if there was something truly wrong with Jensen, there was no way in Hell Christian was leaving here and going on this run. Someone else could take his place.

Shaking his head slightly, Jared answered, “I honestly don't know. He won't talk to me. I went to see him this morning and he just shut me out.” Sometimes Jensen got into these moods where he just wanted to be left alone. And he knew that when it happened, there wasn't much he could do about it other than leave Jensen alone. It wasn't like he could force Jensen to speak to him. Well, he could lock him in a room until he agreed to listen to him like Jensen had done to him at the high school, but it just wasn't his style.

When Jared explained what was going on, Christian started to worry. He had been under the impression that Jared and Jensen were sharing a room now. “He wasn't with you last night?” he asked, brows knit in confusion.

A bright red tint came to Jared's cheeks at Christian's question. “I mean, I saw him last night,” he started to explain. “And yes, we were _together_ , but he didn't come back to my room with me. He said that he agreed to be on watch last night so I should just go to bed without him.” He wasn't about to admit that he'd cried himself to sleep and hadn't woken up to go check on him while he was guarding their little home.

Confusion was clear on Steve's face at Jared's words. “Jensen didn't take watch last night,” he recalled with a shake of his head. “Christian and I were on watch until about 3, and then Jeffrey took over until this morning. As far as I know, Jensen hasn't been around since he brought you back here to us.”

As if it wasn't bad enough that Jensen hadn't spent the night with him, now Jared was learning that he'd lied about why too. Those negative thoughts were beginning to rear their ugly heads again, but Jared did his best to stomp them down. “S-See,” he stammered, fighting back the tears that wanted to fall again. “He's not being himself. He's being weird. Could you guys go talk to him? See if he'll open up to you because he clearly isn't telling me anything.” Looking at the ground, Jared explained, “I'm just really worried about him.” And although he didn't voice it, he was worried about _them_ too. If Jensen was lying and shutting him out, what did that say about their relationship?

It was obvious that something was going on with Jensen – and it definitely wasn't something good. “Yeah, we can go talk to him,” Christian assured Jared, wanting to get to the bottom of this just as much as he did. “Let me just go tell the others that we're going to need at least an hour before we head out.” With that, Christian headed over to meet Chad and the rest of the group.

Once everyone was on the same page, Christian and Steve headed to the surgery room Jared informed them Jensen was hiding in. The second he walked into the room, Christian could tell Jensen wasn't okay. There was something off about him, though Christian couldn't quite put her finger on what it was. “Hey Jen,” he greeted, smiling softly at his friend when he turned to look at them. “What's going on?”

The last thing Jensen wanted was more visitors. It was bad enough Jared kept coming here trying to get him to talk. Now he had to deal with Christian and Steve too? “Hi,” he responded, holding back the cough that wanted to escape his throat. He felt like shit. Then again, he should have been grateful that he was still alive. After all, the video Mark had showed them had led him to believe that he would be dead within twenty hours, and animated within twenty three. It had been nearly thirty six since he had been infected and he was still functional.

This was a confusing time for him. And it wasn't like he could go to Rob and ask for answers without cluing him in on the fact that he was dying. And if Rob knew, then it was only a matter of time before other people found out. But Jensen remembered Mark's video like it had been yesterday – he'd listened and studied it to the best of his ability and he remembered each step. Each hour that step occurred – and his body was proving it wrong. From what he could tell, he was on stage two – pain and discoloration around the bite wound, fever, and the occasional vomiting. 

He was scared. And he was alone. More than anything he wanted to throw himself into Christian's arms and tell him everything. But he couldn't. What kind of a friend would he be if he put that kind of thing on Christian? “Nothing's going on,” Jensen lied, shaking his head. “I just...I needed a break. After everything that happened with clearing out the wings, losing Mark, and then Jared being kidnapped.” Licking his lips, Jensen continued, “I killed a man. I just...need some space.”

“You did what you had to do,” Steve piped up, hating to see his friend like this. It was no secret that Tom had been dangerous. “You know that, Jensen. If you hadn't killed him, he wouldn't have stopped coming for Jared. And who's to say he wouldn't have just killed him the next time? You _saved_ Jared's life.”

Of course it wasn't going to be that easy to get them off his back. Jensen had been wishful thinking. Still, he needed to get them out of here. He felt like he was going to vomit again – they couldn't be here for that. “I know I did,” Jensen assured Steve with a nod. “But that doesn't change the fact that it happened! I _killed_ him! I didn't even blink! I didn't feel remorse! Hell, I _liked_ watching his body to fall to the ground in a lifeless heap. So if you don't mind, I need a little bit of space right now!”

Seeing Jensen spiral out of control like this was almost too much for Christian to take. “Hey, Jen,” he started, moving closer to his friend, “don't beat yourself up over this. He got what was coming to him. And you don't need to blame yourself for being happy that he's gone. That just means Jared is safe and where he belongs. With you.” 

When Christian tried to wrap his arm around Jensen, he quickly shoved him away. Jensen hadn't wanted this – he didn't want to be mean. Jensen didn't want to push his friends away. But it had to be done. “I said I want to be left alone!” he demanded, moving away from both of them. “Nothing you say right now is going to make any of this better. So just get out.”

Christian scoffed at Jensen when he told them to get out. If there was one thing anyone knew about Christian, it was that when he was hurt emotionally, he tended to pull away without question. “Fine!” he spat, turning on his heels and heading towards the door. “You don't want our help, then screw you! Let's go, Steve!” With that, he was out the door, slamming it behind his partner as hot tears burned the back of his eyes.

As soon as Jensen was alone again, he ran to the sink, spilling what little contents he had in his belly down the drain. Once he was finished, Jensen slowly sank down the wall, tears sliding down his cheeks. _He was dying_ – he just kept telling himself that. Maybe it would sink in eventually. After all, there was no fixing this. His body was shutting down. Jensen was burning up, but he felt chilled to the bone. He couldn't hold anything down. And unless he focused very hard, he couldn't stop his mind from wandering. Memories of his old life before the geeks had taken over would flood his brain if he wasn't focusing every little second.

It was exhausting. But Jensen was scared to stop. Scared to give in to the temptation. What if he gave in and he never came back? Then he would turn and someone else would have to take him out – or he'd take someone else out. That thought alone was enough for Jensen to keep fighting.

Christian didn't speak as he continued down the hallway back to the rest of the group. He couldn't understand what Jensen's problem was, but he knew Jensen had better get over it – and _soon_. Although he wouldn't admit it, Christian was barely holding on here. He never wanted to be a leader. Ever since this thing started, he'd gladly fallen in line behind Jensen. Sure, he had his opinions, and the two of them had been like peas in a pod, but Christian hadn't been the leader. He didn't have the final say about anything. Jensen was their guy.

But now, it all came down on him while Jensen was having his little mental break, and Christian was afraid that he wasn't far behind Jensen. This world took it's toll on people. And if this world was strong enough to break someone like Jensen Ackles, Christian knew he didn't have a chance. But he also knew that he had to keep fighting it. For as long as he could, he had to fight to not let this world consume him like it had everyone else. 

Rounding the corner into their wing of the hospital again, Christian pulled Jared aside. “I don't know what's wrong with him,” Christian admitted. “I know that isn't my friend in there. But he won't talk to me. He just... _yelled_ at me to get out and leave him alone. So, that's what we did.” Shaking his head, Christian placed his hand on Jared's shoulder. “I'm sorry, Jay. I can't help you. And I can't help him if she doesn't want it. We have to go on this supply run, but I'll try again when I get back, okay?”

The news that Christian and Steve couldn't get through to Jensen broke Jared's heart. Jensen was pushing everyone away. There had to be a reason for it. Jensen wouldn't just shut down all of a sudden and push everyone he cared about away. “Um...yeah, okay,” Jared answered, smiling softly at Christian and Steve. “I, uh, offered to come along, but I think I should stay back. I mean, Chad said the group was big enough without me, so I guess you guys don't need me. I-I should be here for Jensen. I'll try to talk to him again before you get back.”

Before they left, both Christian and Steve squeezed Jared's shoulder, wishing him luck with his guy. He didn't even know where to start. Jared felt defeated. His eyes stared blankly at the wall, registering that Chad, Misha, Vicky, Rob, and Jeffrey were following after Christian and Steve. It was a decent sized group – there was no reason he had to tag along too. At least he didn't have to feel guilty about that.

He jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder, Jared scurrying away from whoever had touched him. When he saw that it was Sandy, Jared let out the breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. “Sandy,” he breathed, chuckling at himself. “You scared me.”

“So I see,” Sandy answered, frowning at best friend. It was easy to see that something was bothering Jared. And any idiot had to notice that Jensen wasn't around, so it was easy to connect the dots here. “”What's going on with you? I can tell there's something bothering you and I'm not leaving until you tell me what it is.” Sitting with her back to the wall, Sandy pat the floor beside her, waiting for Jared to join her.

Jared knew better than anyone that when Sandy set her mind to something, she didn't stop until she accomplished her task. And right now, it appeared that her task was to get as much information out of Jared as possible. Deciding it was best not to fight it, Jared sank to the floor with his friend, ready to spill his guts. Maybe she would have some insight on what he should do. Because right now, Jared was at a loss. All he knew was that he couldn't just leave Jensen like this. He needed to help him through whatever was bothering him. 

Honestly, Jared had no idea where to even start. The beginning was probably the best place, he supposed. “I just...I'm having trouble with Jensen,” he explained. “Ever since we got back, he's been distant. He's pushing me away. And he just pushed Christian and Steve away too. I'm worried about him and I don't know what to do.” His head hung as he explained his deeper fears. “He didn't sleep with me last night. And this morning I found out that he lied about having to be on watch so he didn't _have_ to sleep with me. I'm just worried that after everything...he doesn't want to be with me anymore. That he's... _disgusted_ with me now.”

Anger built up inside Sandy at Jared's words. There was absolutely no reason Jensen would be disgusted with him, and she was pissed that he would even think like that. “Why would Jensen be disgusted with you?” she demanded. “Because Tom kidnapped you? Is that what you're thinking right now, Jared? Because you need to get that thought out of your head right now!” Gripping Jared's chin, Sandy forced him to look into her eyes. “Jensen loves you. He would _never_ do anything to hurt you.”

If there was something wrong between the two of them, it was all in Jensen's head. And for Jared to think that he was to blame just made Sandy horrified. “Whatever you have going on inside your head, you better get it out of there, Jay. It's not good for you.”

“You don't understand what happened when Tom had me,” Jared argued, tears pooling behind his eyes. “Jensen knows. He knows everything Tom did to me. And he probably hates me because of it now. I probably lost him because of it. And I can't –”

Sandy's anger grew at Jared's words, the older woman cutting him off before he could say another word. “Did you ask for _any_ of it?!” she demanded. “Did you tell Tom to go crazy and drug you? Did you ask him to take you off to some remote location in this hospital and keep you hostage there? Did you _like_ anything he was doing to you when he had you, Jared?”

To be honest, Jared was a little shocked by Sandy's outburst. She was usually a pretty laid back person. It took a lot to make her go off the rails. But somehow, Jared had managed to do it. “No!” he answered all of her questions, getting somewhat defensive. “Of course I didn't ask for any of that! I asked – no, _demanded_ – to be left alone! And look where it got me!”

Happy that her point had been proven, Sandy relaxed. “Exactly,” she answered. “Jensen knows all of that. Whatever is going on between the two of you, it has nothing to do with you.” She was trying to help ease Jared's mind as much as she could. And maybe it was working a little, but she knew there wasn't much else sitting here talking to her was going to do. Jared needed to go to the source. “If you really want to know what's going on, then you need to talk to Jensen yourself.”

A loud scoff escaped Jared's lips at Sandy's suggestion before he could stop it. “I've tried to talk to Jensen about it!” he assured her. “And I had Christian and Steve try to talk to Jensen about it. He doesn't want to talk! Whatever is bothering him, he's keeping it to himself. He's pushing all of us away for some reason. And I don't know how I'm supposed to get through to him if he doesn't to open up to me.”

Defeat – that's the look Jared had all over his face right now. But Sandy wasn't going to let him give up. She knew Jared loved Jensen more than anything – hell, it had been _all_ she heard about in high school. And she would be damned if she was just going to let him give up now. Not _after_ he got the guy! Sure, there had been times when she told him to just stop – forget about Jensen because it was never going to happen. But she'd been proved wrong. Jared _finally_ got his man, and Sandy wasn't willing to let him give up that easily. 

“ _Make_ him talk to you,” Sandy encouraged. “Didn't you say he had himself locked up in one of the surgery rooms?” When Jared nodded, Sandy returned the action. “So go lock yourself up in there with him. He can't hide from you forever. And given the relationship between the two of you, you have every right to know what's going on.”

Now that Sandy was suggesting he lock himself in a room with Jensen, it didn't sound as bad as when he had just thought about it himself somehow. Apparently, that's what got the job done. And he was desperate at this point. He'd do anything it took to get through to Jensen. Leaning in, Jared pressed his lips to Sandy forehead, smiling at his friend. “Thanks, Sandy,” he whispered before he pushed himself to his feet, jogging off in the direction of the surgery room Jensen was hiding in.

**~~**

He was losing it. Jensen's body was giving up on him. The pain that had been radiating from the wound was gone now. Jensen knew that meant he was moving on to the next stage. Soon, he would lose feeling in his extremities and his fever would spike another four degrees. The dementia he was feeling would worsen, forcing him to lose his grip on reality. And then it wouldn't be long before he was paralyzed from the waist down. The thought of losing control like that scared him.

Slowly, Jensen forced his hand against the wall, fingers digging into the plaster as he pulled himself to his feet. He wasn't going to take this laying down. Forcing his body to listen to his brain's commands, Jensen made it to the table in the center of the room, leaning against it for support once he reached his destination. 

Memories of the night before flooded him as Jensen's hands pressed against the cool metal of the table. _Jared_ – he could almost smell him still from the night before. Or maybe that was just the infection talking. Nonetheless, he gave in, leaning closer to the table and breathing deeply. He missed him so much already. All he wanted to do was burst through that door and go find him.

As if he had been reading Jensen's mind, Jared busted through the door just then, slamming the lock into place before he turned to Jensen. “You lied to me,” he accused, hurt clear in those champagne hazel eyes of his. “You weren't on watch at all last night. Steve told me he and Christian handled it until early this morning when Jeffrey took over.” Now that he was in the room, his bravado was fading a little. But he knew he had to be strong. Jensen _had_ to talk to him. “Tell me what's going on, Jen. Neither of us are leaving this room until you do.”

“Using my own tactics against me now?” Jensen teased, trying to make himself look better than he felt. “Nothing is going on, Jared,” he assured him, moving around the table. Surprisingly, his body was responding a lot better than it had been in the last couple of hours. Maybe there was adrenaline running through his veins now that Jared was in here. “I just want to be left alone.”

Jensen was so close now that he could touch him if he wanted to. And he wanted to – so badly. Jared reached out and carded his fingers through Jensen's short cropped hair, frowning at the love of his life. He decided that taking a different approach might get him the answers he was looking for. And if this didn't work, he could try again. “Is everything okay?” he asked, eyes searching Jensen's for answers. “I heard what happened earlier when Christian and Steve came in.”

More than anything, Jensen wanted to lean into that touch. But he didn't. This needed to stop. He needed to be left alone here. He would handle what was necessary when the time came. Of course, that thought alone had him freaking out a little. What if he waited too long and he _couldn't_ handle it when the time came? No, he couldn't think like that. Pushing Jared's hand away from him, Jensen spat, “I'm fine, Jared! Everything is fine! Like I keep saying, I just want to be left alone.”

Tactic attempt number two was a bust as well. Good to know. Luckily for Jared, he had another trick up his sleeve. A sly smile came to his lips as he stepped closer to Jensen, their bodies almost touching. “That's not what you were saying last night, Jen,” Jared assured him, his fingers skimming down the exposed flesh on Jensen's arm. “We don't have to talk if you don't want to, babe. Not right now. We can do... _other_ things to occupy our time.”

Again, Jensen wanted to lean in and just give Jared whatever he wanted. He barely stopped himself. Jared was pulling out all of the stops. Honestly, it was pissing Jensen off a little bit. Angrily, he turned on Jared, hands pressing against his chest as he shoved him backwards, _hard_ – a lot harder than he had intended. “Stop it!” he demanded. “Don't touch me! Just _get out_!”

When Jensen shoved him away and started screaming at him, Jared couldn't hold it back anymore. All of those negative thoughts he'd been having about Jensen thinking he was disgusting came rushing back and he just let it all go. Like word vomit – he couldn't help himself. “Is it me, Jensen?!” he yelled, arms splayed out at his sides. “You just don't want _me_ anymore? Is that it?!” Unable to hold back the tears anymore, Jared continued, “Tom molested me and you're disgusted by me now, huh?! If that's what this is about Jensen, just say it!”

The instant the words left Jared's lips, Jensen felt like a real asshole. Of course Jared was going to think like that. But it was so far from the truth, it was ridiculous. “Of course that's not what is happening,” he assured him, shaking his head. “Do you honestly think I would blame you for what that psycho did?! I would _never_ think you're disgusting for being attacked! You know that I love you! And _nothing_ that happens to either of us is going to change that!”

Hearing Jensen say that he loved him had Jared calming down a bit. Still, if it wasn't that, then Jared was still left with no answers. And more than anything, he needed answers. “Then what is it?!” he begged, eyes staying locked with Jensen's. “You lock yourself in this room and you won't talk to anyone! And when someone tries to ask you what's wrong, you just push them away! You lash out at them and make them feel like the bad guy for trying to help you! We care about you, Jensen! _I_ care about you! I _love_ you! And if something is wrong, you can tell me! Whatever the hell it is, you can tell me! We'll get through it together!”

He couldn't tell him. He couldn't tell anyone! “Jared, there's just a lot of stuff going on right now with me,” Jensen tried to placate, not going into any detail at all. “I just need time and space to figure out what I'm going to do.” Shaking his head, Jensen pleaded, “Please don't think this has anything to do with how I feel about you. _Any_ of you who are trying to help me. I just...need to do this on my own.”

“Do _what_ on our own, Jensen?!” Jared asked, eyes pleading for answers. All he received was Jensen locking his jaw and giving him that look he gave when he wanted to forget about a conversation. Scoffing, Jared shook his head. “You know what? Fine. Figure it out yourself, Jensen. But you better do it fast. Before you lose _everyone_ who cares about you. Including me.”

Jared's words cut like glass. But the look on his face – the hurt and betrayal – had Jensen reaching for him. His fingers wrapped around Jared's wrist, stopping him from moving any closer to the door. He realized just how hot his body temperature was running with that touch. Jared was always warm to the touch – he was a big guy so he gave off a lot of heat. Now, he felt freezing cold to Jensen. He knew Jared could feel it too just by the look he was giving her. “Something happened to me when we were down there with Tom,” he explained, tears pricking his eyes.

Although he hadn't noticed it before when he was touching his arm, Jared could tell that Jensen was warm. _Really_ warm. He never felt this warm to the touch. Now that he was paying closer attention to Jensen and not trying to get information out of him, Jared could see that he didn't look well. He was a lot paler than he had been this morning when Jared came to see him. And there was sweat beading on his forehead and his cheeks. 

At his words, Jared thought that he knew what Jensen was talking about, but he refused to believe it. There was no way it had happened – not to Jensen. No, if that's what it was, Jensen was going to have to say the words. He was going to have to show him the proof. Otherwise, there was some other perfectly normal explanation. Like maybe he was just sick. Steve had the flu a few days ago – Jensen could have easily caught it. “What happened?” he asked, silently pleading with whatever entity was listening that his first thought wasn't right.

Jensen could see the wheels working inside Jared's head. He was putting the pieces together all on his own. But Jensen knew there was no way he was going to believe that he had been bitten. Not without proof. Slowly, Jensen reached for the hem of his scrub top, pulling the fabric up his body to reveal the clotted bite on his ribcage. A tear tracked down his cheek as he said the words he'd been denying inside his head for almost two days. “I'm infected.”


	21. Chapter Twenty One

Christian sighed as he closed the door to the van he had just placed in park. It had been a while since they'd been in the city looking for supplies. Between the hospital and the CDC, everything had been pretty well stocked. The only thing they had trouble finding at the hospital was food. Sure, they'd gotten a bag of supplies when Jensen had gone on that run to clear more wings, but it was almost gone already. People had to eat – there was no way around that.

Quickly, the group made their way to the grocery store. Christian hoped that no other survivors had come in here and ransacked the place. He really didn't want to have to drive over to the next town and look for supplies there. After this morning with Jensen, Christian just wanted to get back to the hospital and have some much needed cuddle time with Steve. In all of the years that he'd known Jensen – and there had been a lot of them – he'd never been that mean to Christian before. Sure, they'd had their fights, but he never just pushed him away like that. 

The thing that hurt the most though was that he still didn't know what Jensen was going through. And it was obvious that Jensen was going through _something_. So that just meant Jensen didn't want anyone's help. Christian wasn't just _anyone_ – he was like the brother Jensen never had! They told each other everything! Jensen had been the first person to know when Christian lost his virginity in high school. And he had been the first person to know that Christian and Steve were dating. Jensen had been there when Christian's mom was taken from him by the cancer, and Christian had been there for Jensen when his grandmother passed away.

Now, something was going on with Jensen, and somewhere along the way Jensen decided Christian wasn't his person anymore. Somewhere along the way, Jensen had stopped trusting Christian. And that's what hurt more than anything. He felt a hand land on his shoulder and Christian smiled, covering the new arrival's hand with his own. It was Steve – always looking out for him.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, squeezing Christian's shoulder lovingly. He knew that this morning had been hard on his lover. Hell, it had been hard on him and he wasn't nearly as close as Christian and Jensen were. Sure, he considered Jensen his best friend, but Christian was like family. He could only imagine how badly he was hurting right now.

Smiling up at the love of his life, Christian nodded. “Yeah, I'm okay,” he assured him. “I have to be. There's nothing I can do about it right now. I just have to focus on the task at hand. We need to get in there, gather everything we can, and get out safely.” Having a mission made it a little easier. At least this kept his mind occupied so he didn't have to think about what had happened. “Ask me again later,” he whispered, his smile wavering for a split second before he picked up his pace to catch up with the rest of the group.

Once they were inside the building, they spread out, covering as much ground as they could. Christian didn't want to have to come back here. This was still an active hot zone. And just because they hadn't run into any walkers on the way in didn't mean they were going to be so lucky on the way out. Or even during their trip. He didn't want to lose any more of his people – they'd lost enough already. Honestly, he didn't even think he could count on one hand how many of their own they'd lost at this point. And while he hadn't been close with too many of the fallen, he still felt the loss. They were still people they had been unable to save.

From what he could tell, no one had been since the last time they'd gone on a run. Christian wasn't sure if that should be something to be happy or worried about. On one hand, they weren't going to have to head out on any runs any time soon with all of the supplies they were loading up on. But on the other hand, that meant maybe there wasn't anyone else around to gather supplies. Maybe they were actually the last living beings on this Earth. The thought had a shiver running down Christian's spine, chilling him to the bone.

He couldn't think like that right now. Christian just wanted to focus on the task at hand, just like he'd told Steve. So he stuffed some more canned goods into his bag and moved to another aisle. His mind was solely focused on getting foods that he thought everyone could enjoy. And of course, he cleared out the candy aisle for Jared too, stuffing some gummy worms into the small pouch on the front of his backpack when he ran out of space in the larger part.

Just as they met at the front of the store to leave, there was a loud _bang_ on the door. Christian's head snapped to the noise, his heart sinking instantly. _Walkers_. More and more were making their way to the grocery store, surrounding the exits and trying to push their way into the place. Panic had Christian's breathing increasing, his mind racing a mile a minute. This wasn't his area of expertise. Jensen always took care of things when this happened – Jensen always got them out of a bind.

But Jensen wasn't here. Everyone was looking to him for answers and he just didn't have any right now. He could see that Chad was getting his gun ready, Rob and Jeffrey quickly following suit. That made sense – fighting their way out of this was the only option they had. Quickly, Christian moved to do the same, watching as Steve, Vicky, and Misha all followed his lead. “Everyone stay close! We're stronger and more lethal as a unit!” he ordered, readying himself for a fight.

The glass was giving way, little cracks starting to form where the walkers were beating at it over and over in their attempt to get inside. The group knew the glass wasn't going to hold much longer. Instead of waiting for the dead to attack them, Christian decided they should get the upper hand. Quickly, he fired off a shot, breaking the window and hitting the walker he had been aiming for between the eyes. Shots being fired around him let Christian know that the group was following his lead – walkers were falling to the ground in front of them in heaps with each shot.

As the dead invaded the store, the survivors moved towards the shelves at the beginning of aisle one. At least this way, there was a lesser chance of anything sneaking up behind them and catching them by surprise. After all, Christian knew there was a back door to this place. If anything got in, it could easily take them down with the element of surprise.

Gunshots rang out loudly around them as walkers continued to drop. They were going to run out of ammunition – they needed a plan. Turning his attention away from the threat in front of him, Christian looked towards the back of the store. He saw the door there that would lead them to the back alley. From there, they could get to their car and get the hell out of here. It was their only chance of survival.

“Hey!” Christian called to the group, getting everyone's attention on him. “Back door!” Quickly, he turned on his heels, heading towards the door. The rest of the group followed, everyone running as fast as their legs would carry them. Luckily, the walkers weren't fast so they had the upper hand in that department. When he reached the door, Christian yanked it open, firing off a shot into the forehead of the walker that had been beating at this door.

Luckily, there was just one lonely walker at the back door. The rest were all focused on the front of the store where there had actually been an opening. “Come on, let's go!” Christian ordered, running out the door and heading towards the van. He quickly stopped in his tracks when Rob screamed, turning to see that the commotion was all about. 

Jeffrey screamed in pain as he was grabbed by a walker, it's sickening fingers digging into his vulnerable flesh. Another quickly joined in, tearing at his arm as it's teeth sank into the soft tissue in his shoulder. “Go!” he demanded when he saw the group had stopped. He wasn't about to let anyone get taken down with him. Smiling lovingly at Chad, who had been like a son to him over the years, Jeffrey kicked the door closed, shutting himself off from the rest of the group.

“No!” Chad yelled when the door slammed, running for it. He growled in frustration when the door slammed in his face, his hand instantly moving to the handle. Before he could pull the door open, Steve stopped him, pushing him away from the barrier. 

As soon as Steve saw Chad running to the door, he intercepted him. As horrible as it sounded, there was no need to waste this opportunity to get back to the van. Jeffrey wouldn't have wanted them to stay here and die on his account. “He's gone, Chad!” he yelled, gripping the younger man's T-shirt as he continued to hold him back. “There's nothing we can do! He's gone! We have to leave! _Now_!”

Tears streamed down Chad's cheeks as he shook his head, unable to believe the scene that had just played out before him. Jeffrey couldn't be gone. First Michael and now Jeffrey – everyone he cared about was getting hurt and he couldn't do anything to stop it. But he knew Steve was right – they couldn't stay here. It was only a matter of time before the walkers were bursting through that door too and coming after them. They needed to be far away from here by the time that happened.

With no other options, the rest of the group gathered up whatever supplies were still salvageable and headed off towards the van. The ride back to the hospital was done in silence, each member of the group taking their time to mourn Jeffrey in their own way. Steve was driving, his foot pressed on the gas as hard as it would go, forcing it to the floor. The more distance they could put between themselves and the walkers, the better. 

In the rear view mirror, he could see that Chad was just staring blankly out the window. He looked so lost. Steve had a feeling Jared was going to be wearing the same look when he found out. It broke his heart that they'd lost another member of the group – especially such a nice guy like Jeffrey. He'd welcomed them into the high school with open arms when he had no idea what kind of people they had been. For all he knew, they could have been serial killers – but he'd still welcomed them. And he'd acted like a father to more than one member of this group over the last few weeks. And now, he was just _gone_. 

No one's life was going to be the same when they got back to the hospital and everyone heard the news.

**~~**

 _I'm infected_. The words rang through Jared's head like a mantra, making him sick to his stomach. “No,” he argued, shaking his head as he ignored the evidence right in front of him. “No, you can't be.” He turned away from the sickening wound threatening to tear his whole world apart as his hands fisted in his shaggy chestnut hair, head continuing to shake. “This isn't happening,” he breathed, tears streaming down his cheeks against his will. “This is just a dream. I'm going to wake up. Now – I'm going to wake up n-now.”

It hurt Jensen to see Jared acting like this. He couldn't really blame him though – this had been his reaction when he found out too. He'd locked himself in this room and demanded everything to be a dream. Eventually, Jensen got over the denial and just accepted it. “Jared, this _is_ happening,” he assured the younger man, tears pricking at his eyes. “This isn't a dream, baby.”

“Wake up!” Jared screamed over him, smacking himself in the head repeatedly before he moved on to his torso. He needed to wake up. This was a bad dream. Maybe he was still with Tom. Jensen hadn't come for him and he was just having a medically induced nightmare. Who the hell knew what kind of drugs Tom had shoved into his system – maybe this was just an adverse reaction. It had to be. Because there was no way this was real. 

When Jared started hitting himself, Jensen couldn't hold back the tears any longer. With as much force as he could muster, Jensen grabbed Jared's arms, pulling his flailing body against his smaller frame. “Jared, stop!” he ordered, holding Jared as sobs wracked his body. “Baby, please, stop. This isn't a dream.” Slowly, his body started to relax, Jared's head falling into the crook of Jensen's neck as he cried. “I'm so sorry, Jay. I'm so sorry.”

Time felt like it dragged on and on as Jared cried into Jensen's shoulder. After a while, his sobbing became more hiccuping breaths, and then they just stopped completely. Slowly, Jared pulled away, eyes locking with Jensen's. “We can beat this, babe,” he assured him, hand cupping his lover's cheek. “There has to be a way. And we'll find it. I'll research everything. I'll find a way to save you.”

Sadness filled Jensen at Jared's words. There was no reason to sugar coat this. His life was over. Hell, as far as Jensen was concerned, he was living on borrowed time already seeing as how he wasn't following the pattern Mark laid out. “Jared, we can't,” he argued. “There is no way to beat this. Not right now. It's too late.” 

“It's _never_ too late!” Jared argued, tears threatening to fall again. “The cure that Rob and Mark were working on. We can get Rob to give it to us and you can take it. Jensen, you're going to be okay!”

Again, Jensen shook his head. “Jared, I'm on borrowed time already. According to Mark's timeline of that patient he showed us, I should have been dead yesterday. But it's moving more slowly for some reason, but I don't know how much time I have!” Now, it was his turn to cup Jared's cheek, thumb sliding over his five o'clock shadow. “The cure they have didn't work. Or it hasn't been tested. Either way, I don't want to be a guinea pig. I'm going to die, Jared. You have to accept that.”

Knitting his brows in a mixture of anger and confusion, Jared demanded, “How am I supposed to just _accept_ it?! I love you! I can't lose you!” Leaning in, Jared crushed their lips together, pulling Jensen as close as he possibly could in their current position. “I can't lose you,” he breathed again when the kiss broke, pressing his lips to Jensen's forehead before he pulled him closer, resting against Jensen's chest. 

His fingers carded through Jensen's hair slowly, Jared just taking the time to feel as close to Jensen as he possibly could at the moment. Jensen liked it when he played with his hair – he always said that it calmed him down. “Jen, we need to tell the others,” he whispered, eyes closing in defeat as he finally realized this was happening. “They deserve to know what's going on. And they can help us figure everything out.”

Jensen didn't want anyone to know. Hell, he hadn't even wanted Jared to know! “No,” he argued. “I don't want anyone to know. It'll just make them all pity me. And they'll come here and try to say sappy goodbyes. I don't think I can handle that.” Pulling back a little so he could see Jared's eyes, Jensen asked, “Promise me you won't tell anyone? Please, Jay?”

Don't tell anyone? There was no way Jared could not tell anyone. Their friends needed to know what was happening. They had a _right_ to know. But when Jensen looked at him like that, it was hard for him to say no to him. After all, it was his life – Jensen had a right to keep certain details from people if he wanted to. “Okay,” he breathed, leaning back against the wall and maneuvering himself so that he was laying on Jensen's chest again. “I won't tell anyone.”

At the reassurance that his secret was safe, Jensen allowed Jared to lean against him again. He felt so good against Jensen's skin. Before he knew it, sleep was pulling at him. Jensen didn't even have the strength to fight it, letting the exhaustion just take over. Jared wasn't too far behind, his hand falling from Jensen's hair as he dozed off.

**~~**

Jared wasn't sure how long he'd been sleeping when he finally blinked his eyes open, the events of the previous hours all coming back to him in a blur. His heart skipped a beat as he reached for Jensen, pressing his hand firmly against his chest. The soft _thump thump_ of his heart against his palm had Jared breathing a sigh of relief. Jensen was still with him. But he didn't know for how long. And he wasn't willing to waste any more time.

As gently as he could, Jared wormed his way out of Jensen's embrace, laying his head gently on the floor when he was free. There was no way Christian wasn't back with the group yet. And he needed to see Rob right away. Sure, he'd promised Jensen that he wouldn't tell anyone, but this was important. He couldn't just sit back and do nothing. If Rob had a chance for Jensen to live, Jared was going to take it.

He found Rob in his room without much trouble. He looked sad, but Jared didn't ask what was bothering him. He had bigger things to worry about right now. “I need your help,” Jared pleaded, closing the door behind him when he entered Rob's room so no one could over hear their conversation. “Jensen's been bitten. He's infected. I know you and Mark were working on a cure in the CDC. You need to give it to me. Now.”

Shock was clear on Rob's face when Jared blurted out that Jensen had been infected. Not him too. Everyone around him was dying – it was almost too much to cope with. While he and Mark had been in the CDC, they had been working on a cure, but nothing was set in stone yet. They hadn't actually been able to test it on anyone and see if it worked. “Jared, I don't have a cure,” he explained sadly. “Mark and I had several test stages of a cure, but nothing we ever tried actually worked. We were in that lab for months on end and we just never found anything. This virus is too complex – it's almost unbeatable.”

“ _Almost_?” Jared asked. That was enough for him. If there was one tiny glimmer of hope that Jensen was going to be okay, he would take it. He would cling to it until he had nothing left. “I know you have _something_. I heard you and Mark talking about it when we got here.” Sure, Jared knew that eavesdropping was rude, but he didn't much care at this point. Rob held the key to Jensen's survival and there was nothing Jared wouldn't do to get it.

While he did have something in his possession, Rob wasn't willing to just hand it over. It was the latest cure they had been working on. And when Mark had gotten attacked, Rob just put it in a drawer and forgot about it, honestly. As a scientist, he didn't like to test out his creations on humans. Rats were fine, but not humans. And especially not humans who had become his close, personal friends. “Jared, it's in the _early_ test stages,” he tried to explain. “This thing that I have is _very_ experimental. I don't feel comfortable giving it out to be used.”

Anger flooded through Jared when Rob admitted that he had something, but he wasn't willing to give it to him. “This is _Jensen_!” Jared reiterated. “He's been infected. It's been almost forty eight hours! We don't know how much time he has left! Without this cure, he'll die for sure! At least this will give him a chance!”

The information that it had been close to forty eight hours since he had been bitten was interesting to Rob. Sure, he knew that the virus infected everyone differently, but he had never heard of it allowing its victims to stay alive this long. Maybe the virus had mutated. _Very interesting_. If that was the case, the cure he had right now definitely wasn't going to work for Jensen. Now, telling Jared that was a different story.

Jared was desperate – Rob could see that right off the bat. And he had every right to be. He and Jensen were close. But sometimes, it was just better to leave things alone. Otherwise, the risks were just too great at times. Rob needed Jared to understand that. “Or it'll make him worse!” Rob countered. “Jared, this _cure_ that you think I have has never been tested on anything or anyone! The risks that are accompanied with giving Jensen this cure could outweigh the good, _by far_!”

Risks – of course there were going to be risks. Jared had been counting on that. But what did that mean? He was just supposed to give up? How could he do that when there was a chance that this cure could save him? Even if the chance was small, there was still a _chance_ – there was still hope. And Jared was going to cling to that hope for as long as he could. “Rob, please, you don't understand –” Jared started, tears forming in his eyes once more.

“I understand that your judgment is clouded by love,” Rob cut him off. Sure, he was being harsh, but he didn't feel as though he had any other choice. “We don't know what this cure will do to Jensen if he takes it! There could be dire side effects! It could speed up the progress, or it could turn him into something that he isn't if he doesn't die! _I've_ been studying this thing! _I've_ done multiple tests on multiple different rodents and each time, there was something wrong with the cure that I gave them! And without any tests having been done with this one, do you really want to take that chance with Jensen's life?!”

Honestly, side effects weren't really his concern right now. All he cared about was giving Jensen a chance at life. “Yes, I am!” he spat when Rob asked if he was willing to take a chance with Jensen's life. “You're talking about all of these bad things that the cure can do if you don't have it right this time, but I don't care!” Shaking his head, he continued, “I don't care about side effects or anything else right now. Because all I can think about is the fact that Jensen is _dying_! And you have a chance to possibly save him! So do something about it!”

It was becoming increasingly clear that no matter what Rob said, Jared wasn't going to listen to him. The only thing Jared cared about right now was getting that cure – _saving_ Jensen. So much so that he couldn't even see there was a chance he was just going to hurt him with this. Not that he could blame Jared – if he was in his shoes, Rob probably would have handled it the same way. Hell, he'd _begged_ Mark to take the cure when he had been bitten. When they were left alone, he'd screamed at him – pleaded with him to get over his pride and just try to live. Of course, Mark had refused, but it didn't change the fact that Rob had tried. Who was he to deny Jensen the chance the survive?

Jensen had done so much for him in just the short amount of time that he'd known him. And he didn't want to lose him – he didn't want to lose _anyone_ else. He'd seen so many people die since this thing started and it broke his heart. Each time, he felt like it took a piece of him away. This virus was just chipping away at him. If he let it continue this way, there would be nothing left of him when all was said and done.

There was a chance the cure could work. It was a small chance, but it was a chance nonetheless. Over the course of this whole tragedy, Rob and Mark must have created about 30 different prototypes for this cure. And he thought maybe they had it right this time. Or, they could have it completely wrong – there was no way for him to know for sure. He was fresh out of test subjects and he sure as hell wasn't going to venture into the basement in hopes of finding a rat. Not that he would have had time for that, anyway. Jensen had already survived longer than anyone else, and Jared had been right about not knowing how much time they had left. He needed to act fast.

If he did this, he would have to live with the consequences. Sure, handing over the cure to Jared wasn't like he was giving it to Jensen himself, but he would still be responsible. If the side effects turned out to be as bad as he thought they could, _he_ was going to feel responsible. And if Jensen did survive, but as something he wasn't – something _darker_ – Rob knew Jensen would never forgive him. 

Still, he couldn't deny someone the chance to live. “Fine,” Rob sighed in defeat. “I'll give you the cure.” Moving to his dresser, Rob rummaged through the top drawer until his fingers wrapped around the vial he was looking for. “I'm not promising that it will work,” he continued, handing it to Jared. “But it's a chance. And everyone deserves a chance.”

Jared's eyes locked on the tiny vial filled with the bright blue liquid. It was perfect – his last chance to save the love of his life. He wrapped his fingers around it as soon Rob handed it over. “Thank you,” he breathed, relief flooding over him. “You have no idea how much I appreciate this.” He could have hugged Rob he was so happy. But he wasn't quite sure they were that close, so instead he took his hand, giving it a firm shake. 

With the cure tucked safely away in his pocket, Jared headed out of Rob's room. This was just step one. Getting the cure was the easy part. Now, he had to convince Jensen to take it. And in doing so, he knew Jensen was going to yell at him for telling Rob his secret. But he was prepared – he'd already justified his actions to himself, so it would be easy to do the same to Jensen. After all, Jensen _had_ to know that he wasn't just going to sit back and accept this like he was apparently doing. No way in Hell was he just going to sit back and watch Jensen die. Not when he could do something about it.

Sure, this wasn't a definite fix. He knew that. And he wasn't going to let Jensen believe it was either. But if he wanted to live badly enough, Jensen would take the chance. Jared would have done it had their positions been reversed. There was no way he would leave Jensen here by himself if he could help it. He just hoped that Jensen felt the same way. He knew that Jensen loved him, so he was hoping that he was on the same page as he was.

And if he wasn't, Jared was going to do his best to convince him. After everything they had been through, this wasn't going to be the thing to break them. Jensen wasn't going to succumb to this virus. He was _better_ than that. He could beat this thing. If anyone could, it was definitely Jensen. He was strong. All he had to do was want it bad enough. Hell, maybe Jared wanted it badly enough for the both of them.

When he got back to the surgery room, Jensen was still sleeping. He moved to the floor beside him, studying Jensen's features. Even sick, he was beautiful. He looked so vulnerable. His face was pale and pasty – nothing like his usual skin tone. Jared hated seeing him like this. Slowly, his hand moved to run his fingers through Jensen's hair again, smiling softly when he stirred. “Hey, sleeping beauty,” he greeted when Jensen's eyes blinked open. 

They didn't have much time – Jared could tell. Jensen's usually bright, green eyes were now dull and almost void of life. It broke his heart seeing Jensen like this. If Jensen refused his offer of the cure, or if it didn't work, Jared knew he wasn't going to make it through this. “I have something for you, babe,” he whispered, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his hail Mary. 

It was hard to focus on the small vial that Jared placed in front of him. Jensen's eyes were having trouble adjusting. He just felt weak – everything was shutting down. “What is that?” he asked, brows knit with curiosity. His voice was harsh. Talking was such a hard task now. It was like his vocal chords were glass, Jensen thrown into a coughing fit with his attempts to communicate.

Reaching to run his fingers through Jensen's hair again, Jared whispered, “Shhh...don't ask questions. Don't talk, okay?” When he received the nod from Jensen, Jared continued, “It's our last shot. I went to Rob this morning.” He quickly shushed him again when he tried to protest, a single tear falling down his cheek to hit the floor underneath him. “I _had_ to. He's the only one I told, I swear. But I couldn't just sit back and watch you die! I needed to take every chance I could find to save you!” He pushed the cure towards Jensen, eyes pleading with him to understand what he was going through. “It's a cure. Rob and Mark were working on it when the CDC went under. He said it's very experimental, and there's a chance it won't work, but we need to try. Jen, please, take it? For me? Please?”

Jensen looked from Jared to the cure and back. He didn't know what to do. Jared was pleading with him to take it, but he wasn't sure he wanted it. After all, he didn't know anything about it. And if it had existed, why did Rob not give it to anyone else when they had been infected – why hadn't he given it to Mark? Jensen needed answers before he just blindly sucked this thing down. Honestly, Jensen wasn't even sure he _wanted_ to keep fighting. Slowly, he pushed himself to a seated position, his body screaming with the effort that it took. He was in so much pain – it was almost unbearable. “No,” he whispered, biting into his lip as he stared at the offending blue liquid. “I can't.”


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

Hurt and betrayal mixed with anger inside of Jared when Jensen refused to take the cure. “What do you mean, you can't?” Jared demanded, his voice coming out a lot harsher than he had intended for it to. “Jensen, this is the last option. Without taking the cure, you _will_ die!” After everything he had just gone through to get this cure, he wasn't going to go down without a fight. “You _have_ to take it! Jensen, you _can't_ leave me!”

“Why me?” Jensen asked softly, not taking his eyes off the cure still. There had been so many people before him that had gotten attacked – had gotten bitten. Why was he so special that he was allowed to take the cure – allowed to have a fighting chance when no one else could. “Why do I get to live when no one else had that chance, Jay? What makes me so damn special?”

Jared couldn't believe what he was hearing right now. “What are you talking about?” he asked, shaking his head in disbelief. “No one else had that chance because they didn't have me fighting for them, that's why!” He wasn't going to stop. “I will do _anything_ for you. I will fight for you until the very end. I went to Rob and I _begged_ him for this cure. He didn't want to give it to me. He's not even sure it will work. But there's a possibility – there's _hope_. And that's enough for me! How can you sit there and think for one second that you're not going to take this cure? After _everything_ you and I have been through? There's even a question in your mind about it?”

Of course there was a question in his mind. If Jared had given him this cure when he first got bit, there wouldn't have been, he was sure. But now, Jensen had time to accept his fate. And if he was being honest, it wasn't such a bad one. As long as he didn't reanimate and turn into one of those mindless freaks, he could think of worse options. Like taking this cure only to have everything then ripped away from him later. 

If there was anything in this world that was certain, it was that people died. Who was to say that after he took this cure, someone else he cared about wouldn't get bitten or scratched. Then he would have to watch them die because he'd taken the only cure? Jensen wouldn't be able to live with himself – _especially_ if that person was Jared. Yeah, it was selfish – he knew that. But Jared was stronger than Jensen was – he could handle this life without Jensen. He couldn't live without Jared. And that's what scared him the most. 

He knew Jared was waiting for an answer, but he just didn't know how to word what he was feeling. Any way he decided to put it, Jared was going to be angry. And he had every right to be. Jensen supposed he shouldn't sugar coat it for Jared's sake. “I'm tired, Jay,” he explained, pain clear in his voice. “Everything about this world and what it's become makes me _so_ tired. Everyone looks to me to make decisions about what we're going to do – basically making me hold their lives in my hands. And people keep dying around me. I'm just...I'm tired. I can't take it anymore.”

Anger bubbled up inside Jared when Jensen spoke. “You're tired?” he all but scoffed. “So, what does that mean? You're just going to give up?! You don't think I'm tired, too? I've lost _so_ much since the dead started walking around again, and you don't see me giving up! More of my friends than I can count, almost my entire family, and what?! Now, I'm just supposed to lose you too?”

His anger quickly fizzled out, being replaced by sadness. “You _can't_ give up, Jen,” he whispered, moving closer to his lover. He pressed their foreheads together as he continued, “I need you. Please, babe, you can't leave me.” The fever was getting worse. Jensen was so warm. Jared was surprised he was even conscious right now. “I need you to fight for us, Jen. Please, just fight for us. If for nothing else, you need to live...for _me_.”

Pressing a kiss to Jensen's forehead, Jared pulled back. “I have to go talk to Sandy,” Jared explained. “I told her that I would help her with inventory once everyone came back.” Slowly, Jared pushed himself to his feet, heading to the door. He stopped just before he reached it, eyes locked on the floor as he said his final peace. “I can't _force_ you to take that cure. But I can ask you to think long and hard about what you're going to be leaving behind if you don't. And I can tell you that if it were me in your position, I'd fight for us.”

With that, Jared headed out of the surgery room, tears tracking down his cheeks once more. He didn't know what he was going to do if Jensen refused to take the cure. All he knew was that if it did happen, he was going to be alone. How did someone get over loving another person after ten years? Jared hadn't figured it out yet. If Jensen left him, Jared knew that it would destroy him. But he hadn't been lying – he wasn't going to force him to take it.

As soon as he made his way back to the rest of the group, Jared could tell something was wrong. Everyone seemed upset. Making his way towards Sandy, he felt dread pooling in his lower belly. There had just been a supply run. Surely, everyone had made it back okay – they had to have. He hadn't even thought to ask Rob this morning when he'd been with him. “Hey,” he greeted his best friend when he was close enough, noticing that Chad was sobbing. “What's going on?”

“There was an accident at the grocery store while they were out getting supplies,” Sandy explained as she moved away from Chad. She didn't want to bring it up in front of him. He was already hurting too badly. All she could do was be here for him in his time of grief. “Jeffrey didn't make it back.” Looking back at her lover, Sandy added, “Chad is really broken up about it, which is to be expected. Can we do inventory another time? I want to be here for him.”

Jeffrey was gone. Jared felt like his heart had been ripped from his chest. When he first came to high school, Jeffrey had taken him in and treated him like his own son. He could only imagine what Chad was going through because he felt like he'd been hit by a bus. “Yeah, absolutely,” Jared answered with a nod. “You should go be with him. He needs you right now.”

This was too much. First Jensen and now Jeffrey? Everyone Jared cared about was being ripped away from him faster than he could blink practically. He heard Sandy ask him if he was okay and he merely nodded. He wasn't okay at all. But she needed to worry about Chad right now. Jared could handle his grief on his own. He'd done it when his family died and he could do it again now. More than ever, he prayed to whatever entity was listening that Jensen decide to take the cure. If he didn't, Jared didn't know if he would be able to go on either.

He slowly made his way to his room, feeling numb. These last few days had been Hell on him. Jared felt like he could sleep for days. Once he was through the door to his room, Jared closed the door softly, moving towards his bed. There was no way he could fall asleep – he had to go check on Jensen in a few hours to make sure he was still okay. But that didn't mean he couldn't lie down. Even if he felt like he could sleep, he knew there was no way he could – not with his mind racing the way it was.

The bed felt good against his aching muscles. Sleeping in the surgery room with Jensen the night before had put quite a strain on his back and neck. At least laying in the bed made him feel better for a little while. That was until his brain started working on overdrive. He remembered everyone in this world who he'd lost – even the ones he didn't particularly care for, or know all that well that were gone now. His parents, Michael, Genevieve, Katie, Alona, Mark, Danneel, Jeffrey – even Tom. And now there was a chance he was going to lose Jensen too?!

It was almost unbearable. Slowly, Jared turned onto his belly, pressing his face into his pillow as he let out a muffled cry. He didn't handle loss well. Jared had never been able to handle loss well. Instead, he just ran from it usually, acting like it didn't actually happen. Jared had this uncanny ability to throw himself into projects and just forget that there was something bad he had to think about. Until his mind just wouldn't let him forget anymore. Like when he suffered from PTSD with the hordes – that was just his mind reminding him that there was something to be afraid of.

**~~**

Christian stormed into the surgery room where he knew he'd find Jensen, ready to get his point across to his friend. They were fighting as far as he was concerned and he hated it when they fought. While it didn't happen often, when it did, it could last for days at a time. Not this time. He was going to end it today – right now. If losing Jeffrey taught him anything, it was that life is short – especially now. He wasn't going to waste another second being mad at his friend. 

The second he saw Jensen, her heart sank. Something was wrong. “Jensen?” he asked, taking a step closer to his friend. His foot bumped against a glass vial on the floor, knocking it over. Slowly, he reached down and picked it up, studying it. He then turned his attention to Jensen, feelings tears pricking at his eyes. “What is this?”

Just blinking his eyes open felt like the hardest task in the world. Jensen was losing this battle. And all he wanted right now was to be left alone. But Christian was here and he was holding the cure, expecting answers from Jensen. “It's a cure,” he explained, wincing as pain shot through his throat. “Jared wants me to take it. He thinks he can _save_ me.” Scoffing, Jensen pushed himself up into a more seated position. “Nothing can save me now.”

“You got bit?” Christian asked, the tears spilling down his cheeks freely now. It only got worse when Jensen nodded, Christian breaking down almost completely. He leaned forward and wrapped Jensen into a warm embrace, holding onto his friend for dear life. “It's going to be okay,” he assured Jensen, slowly pulling back. “You're going to be okay. Just...take this cure and everything will be okay.”

A small chuckle escaped Jensen when Christian assured him everything was going to be okay. “The cure is experimental,” Jensen argued. “There's no guarantee it will work.” Taking the cure from Christian's hands, Jensen put it back down on the floor beside him. “Besides, I'm not taking it. Why should I get to live when so many other people didn't have that option?”

For a second, Christian thought that Jensen was joking when he said he wasn't taking the cure. Christian quickly realized that he was wrong, however. “What do you mean you're not taking it?!” he demanded. “Even if it's experimental, there's a _chance_ it will work! It's worth the risk, Jensen!” Seeing that his words weren't getting through to his friend, Christian changed directions. “What are you going to tell Jared? Because he can't face this world without you.”

 _That_ got Jensen's attention. “I went on a supply run today,” Christian continued. “We got surrounded, and Jeffrey didn't make it. He was like a father to Jared. The poor kid has lost so much since this started – we _all_ have. We're just all handling it differently. How do you think Jared is going to handle it when you just let yourself die?!”

Although he wanted to fix things with Jensen, Christian couldn't just sit in here and watch him die when he had every means to make himself better. “You need to take that cure,” Christian ordered, pushing himself to his feet. “Jared won't survive this world without you, and you know it. If you let yourself die, you're killing him too!”

With that, Christian ran out of the room, needing to be with Steve right now. He would make sense of all this. How did Jensen get bit? He was always so careful. And it wasn't like he couldn't handle himself. And then to learn that Jensen was just going to sit in there and die?! Clearly, Jensen was not the man Christian thought he was. Jensen was always a fighter – he'd never been a quitter. It was just amazing to see how living in this world could change a person.

Jensen knew Christian was right – he'd been thinking the same thing. He just didn't want to admit it to himself. But he couldn't deny it anymore. Not when it was right in his face. His eyes slowly rolled towards the cure sitting on the floor next to him. There would more than likely be side effects if he took it. Jared hadn't said anything to him about it, though. But really, was that even an issue right now? It wasn't just about his life anymore – it was about Jared's life too.

It took everything in him to reach for the vial, his fingers slipping on the lid more than once before he finally got it open. Jensen took a moment to glare at the blue liquid before he pressed the cool glass to his lips. Tipping his head back, Jensen took the cure like a shot, praying to whoever was listening that it worked.

**~~**

Jared wasn't sure how long he stayed in his room before he finally made his way back to Jensen. He didn't know what to expect when he got back to the surgery room where Jensen was still hiding. All he did know was that if he hadn't taken the cure yet, he was going to beg him to do so once again. Jared definitely wasn't above begging. He'd beg until he was blue in the face and then he would beg some more. There was no way he was just going to let Jensen sit there and not take every chance he could to survive – he'd fight for them until the very end. Even if Jensen wasn't willing to do the same. 

When Jared walked into the room, he saw the vial on the floor, empty. “Jen?” he asked, hope clear in his voice as he kneeled down on the floor in front of him. “Did you take the cure?” he asked, hand cupping Jensen's cheek as his other brushed his hair away from his forehead. He didn't look any different. Maybe Jensen had just dumped the cure down the drain so he didn't have to worry about it. No, Jensen wouldn't have done that. Would he?

“Jared,” Jensen breathed, his voice raspy. “It didn't work. I took it, but it didn't work.” He was freezing, Jensen's whole body shaking. It took everything in him just to keep his eyes open. Jensen knew what was next. His lower half was already paralyzed from what he could tell, so he knew the coma would set in soon. From there, it was nothing but the sweet bliss of death. But he needed to talk to Jared first. With as much effort as he could muster, Jensen forced his arm to raise, cupping Jared's cheek and wiping away the tears that were falling from his eyes. “I love you, Jared Padalecki.”

Tears tracked down his cheeks uncontrollably at the realization that the cure had been useless. He'd been banking on that – Jensen was going to be okay because he was going to take the cure and everything was going to be okay. That was all shattered now. All that was left now was the sad truth that Jensen was gone.

Turning his head, he pressed a kiss to Jensen's palm. Jensen was so hot. His body was shaking like he was cold, but he was burning up.”I love you too, Jensen Ackles,” he whispered, choking back another sob. “I love you so much.” Jared had to be strong. He had to be here for Jensen right now. Jensen needed him more than ever. What kind of a person would he be if he just spent his last few moments with him sobbing like some kind of sap?

Unable to keep his arm up, Jensen allowed it to flop back down beside him, a tear slowly making its way down his pale cheek. “Jay...I need you to promise me something,” he whispered. When Jensen received the nod from his lover, Jensen continued, “Promise me that you won't let me turn into one of those things. I know that I'm going to die, but please don't let me reanimate. Don't let me come back, Jared, please?”

How could she ask him to do that? It was bad enough that he was going to lose him, but now Jensen wanted Jared to kill him?! There was no way. “You can't ask me to do that,” he whispered, shaking his head. “I can't...kill you.”

Of course Jared wasn't going to kill him. Jensen would never ask him to do something like that. “I'm not asking you to kill me,” he clarified. “When I die, you need to finish it. After my heart stops, don't let me come back. Please? I don't want to be a walker. I _can't_ handle that too. Jared, please promise me.”

Slowly, Jared nodded, letting Jensen know he would do as he was asked. “I promise. I won't let you turn, babe. I promise.” It wouldn't be long now. Another tear slid down his cheek as he maneuvered Jensen so he was leaning in a more sturdy position against the wall. Once he looked comfortable, Jared leaned into his chest, head resting over Jensen's pectoral as his hand pressed against Jensen's heart. “Just relax, babe,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to Jensen's cheek. “I'm going to stay right here. I'm not leaving you.”

It felt like time was dragging on as Jared sat there holding Jensen. Jensen's body stopped shaking eventually, causing more tears to slide down Jared's cheeks. Jensen's breaths were raspy, wheezing out of him every few minutes until eventually they just stopped. When he didn't hear him breathing anymore, Jared slowly pulled away, unable to control his sobs as he laid Jensen down on the floor. His hand pressed against his chest, checking for a heart beat. 

There was nothing. He was gone. Jensen was gone. Jared pulled his knife from his jeans, tears clouding his vision. He would do as he had promised – he wouldn't let Jensen turn into one of those things. “I'm so sorry I couldn't save you,” he cried. “I'm so sorry, Jen.” Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to his dead lips, sniffling as he pulled back. “I love you.” 

Without thinking, Jared drove his knife through the side of Jensen's head, effectively stopping any chance he had at reanimating.

**~~**

Jensen's eyes snapped open, coughing and gagging. Something was blocking his airway. Before he knew what was happening, there were people in scrubs gathering around him, yelling orders and blocking his view. _What the hell was happening?!_


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

Jensen coughed when they removed the tube from his throat, rubbing at his neck softly. He didn't understand what was happening. His eyes ticked up to the doctor that was checking him over, brows knitting in confusion. Misha – that was Misha. What the hell was going on here?! “Misha, what's going on?” he asked, gaze ticking across the room before it landed back on Misha. 

A shocked expression lit up Misha's features when Jensen addressed him by his first name. He hadn't even been conscious when they brought him in. There was no way he could know who he was unless his mind had been working while he was sleeping. It was an interesting theory – one that scientists had been playing with for years. “You were in an accident,” Misha explained, putting his pen light back into his coat pocket. “You've been in a coma for six months, Mr. Ackles.”

That was not possible. Jensen hadn't been in an accident. He'd been bitten by a walker – he should be dead. Misha was still speaking to him, but Jensen couldn't make out what he was saying. Instead, his mind was reeling. How was he here? This had to be some kind of weird realm that his delirious mind had taken him to in order to escape the horror of dying. He nodded when he heard Misha ask if it was okay to allow visitors, his eyes closing as he carded his fingers through his hair. Maybe the visitor would know what was happening to him.

Before Misha had even vanished from the room, Christian and Steve burst through the doors. Jensen could hear Misha calling after them that they weren't allowed to stay long, but they weren't listening. “Christian,” he greeted, returning his best friend's hug with just as much gusto. “Steve, hi,” he smiled up at him, noting that they both looked so much younger than the last time he had seen them. “What happened?” Jensen asked, knowing that his friends would tell him the truth.

“You were in a car accident,” Christian reminded. “It was bad. The car was totaled. For a while, we all thought that you weren't going to make it.” He wiped away the tear that was sliding down his cheek before he added, “But here you are. All awake and alive and...God, I missed you so much! Don't _ever_ do that shit to me again, Jen! Do you hear me?!”

When Christian threw himself into his arms, Jensen barely caught him. This was too much. Christian was backing up the doctor's story. But that was impossible. Jensen knew what had happened. And he hadn't been in a damn car accident! Still, he needed the whole story if he was going to make sense of this situation. “How long have I been in here?” Jensen asked, pulling back from Christian. “I don't remember anything. Start from the beginning.”

Memory loss was a common thing with head trauma, Christian knew. “Well...it happened a couple days after Tom's party,” he explained. “You must have been so upset about yours and Danneel's split that you just...lost it at the wheel. Tom said that when you came back to his house that morning to pick up your car, you were really shaken up.” Wiping away another tear, Christian continued, “That was six months ago.”

Six months ago? No. Ten years had passed since Tom's party. He remembered that much. And he hadn't been upset about the break up. Jensen had gone back to Tom's to pick up his car after he'd spent the night with Jared. Oh God, _Jared_. Jensen needed to see him. “Jared,” he whispered softly, eyes ticking up to meet his friends, moving from Christian to Steve and back. “I-I need to see Jared.”

Confusion was clear on each of their faces at Jensen's insistence upon seeing Jared Padalecki. Sure, they knew there had been a project they'd been working on, but other than that, they weren't friends or anything. Jensen had been hanging out with him a lot during the project, but they had been convinced that was only so he could get a good grade. Surely, he didn't actually like the guy. Not enough to want to see him right now, of all times, anyway. “Um...he'll be here,” Steve assured him with a nod. “The guy's been coming here every day for the past six months to see you.”

Relief washed over Jensen at the news that Jared was going to be here. He couldn't wait to see him! “Okay,” Jensen breathed, lying back in his bed and throwing one of his arms over his eyes. This had been an eventful day. Still, none of his questions about the last ten years had been answered. But if what Christian was saying was the truth, it hadn't even happened. And judging by their appearance, the time frame would be the same. Christian and Steve were definitely not in their twenties right now – they were teenagers. And Jensen was willing to guess if he looked in the mirror, he'd be eighteen again.

Then where had this whole apocalypse come from? Surely, Jensen hadn't just imagined it. There had to be something to make him think like that. To _dream_ something like that. He wasn't really into horror movies, so it couldn't have been that. Sure, he and Jared had been watching movies about zombies sometimes when they hung out, but could that have been it? “Why am I so tired?” Jensen mused to himself. “I've been sleeping for six months. You would think I'd have had my fill of sleep.”

A small chuckle escaped Steve at Jensen's words. “You've been through a lot already,” he explained. “And you just woke up. It's a lot to take in.” Placing his hand on Christian's shoulder, Steve jutted his head to the door. “Let's leave you alone to get some sleep. I'm sure your day isn't over yet. Now that you're awake, I'm sure everyone is going to want to come to visit you.”

Christian and Steve both hugged Jensen before they left the room, leaving him alone with his thoughts once more. The day seemed to drag on – there wasn't much to do other than sit there and stare at the television. Nothing was on that caught Jensen's interest, so it was pointless. All he wanted to do was see Jared. He didn't understand why he had to be in this stupid bed – he was fine! Jensen wanted to go home.

Throughout the day, Jensen saw a lot of familiar faces. And not a single one recognized him. Jeffrey was a janitor on his floor during the day. Jensen wanted to say something, but he just looked at him like he was insane when Jensen even waved at him, so he decided against it. Rob and Mark were doctors in the building, though they weren't assigned to his case. And Vicky would stop by all of the time to see Misha and bring him drinks, and food. Jensen could tell she really loved him. Samantha was his bubbly nurse – she always came in to check on Jensen and make sure he didn't need anything. Jensen really liked her.

As the day went on, more familiar faces kept popping up. If that world had all been a dream, now Jensen understood how he'd come up with his entire group. They were all people who worked here. People he would have been in contact with every day while he was out of it. Like Jim was the janitor on the second shift after Jeffrey went home. And Alona and Katie were his nurses when Samantha left. And still, not a single one of them recognized Jensen. Honestly, it was a little annoying.

The sun was setting outside and Jensen still hadn't figured anything out. He assumed the last ten years of his life could have been some twisted, messed up nightmare that his comatose brain had made up – that's basically what everyone was telling him. Clearly, he was insane. That's what it boiled down to – Jensen had lost his marbles. And if he opened his mouth about what had been going on inside his head, he was sure they were going to throw him into the looney bin. So, he kept his mouth shut.

Her heard the door to his room creak open, causing his attention to shift from the window to the new arrival. Jensen felt his mouth go dry when he saw him – Jared. He was finally here. There was so much that Jensen wanted to say to him, but he had absolutely no idea where to begin. God, Jared was so young – Jensen could hardly believe his eyes. “Hi,” he greeted, figuring that was the best place to start. 

“You're awake,” Jared breathed, his feet carrying him over to Jensen's bed on their own accord. “I-I can't believe it. You...you've been sleeping for six months and now you're...here.” Jared reached forward without thinking, cupping Jensen's cheek in his hand. Tears pricked at his eyes as he took in the sight of the man he'd been in love with for so long. Jensen was here – he was alive. Many times before, the doctors had told him that there was a slim chance of Jensen waking up after so long. The first two months, they had been hopeful, but by the third month, they'd all but given up. Thankfully, they'd been wrong. And Jensen's parents had listened to Jared instead of the doctors, otherwise this moment wouldn't have been possible.

Jensen's eyes slipped closed when he felt Jared's hand on his cheek. It was just like in his head. His hands were softer now, but Jensen could still tell it was Jared. “I'm here,” Jensen assured him, pressing his cheek into his hand a bit more firmly. “The, uh, doctor told me that I've been in a coma for six months.”

Slowly, Jared nodded. “Yeah, you have been. They were afraid you weren't going to wake up. But I knew better. I know you're a fighter.” A slight blush came to Jared's cheeks at his words. As if he just realized what he had been doing, Jared pulled his hand away from Jensen's cheek, pushing both hands into his pockets so he wouldn't make a mistake like that again. “And...I was right. Here you are. All better now.” Turning his head towards the door, he asked, “Did Dr. Collins say anything about when you can go home?”

The instant Jared's hand was gone, Jensen felt the loss. He tried to hide his disappointment, instead focusing on the question Jared asked him. “Um...my parents are on a business trip,” he explained. “That's what Misha told me. They're going to come home as soon as they can Until then, I'm just supposed to stay here for observation. He said that I hit my head pretty hard and now that I'm awake, he wants to monitor everything. I guess he's making sure that nothing's broken in there.”

Nodding, Jared took a seat in the chair next to the bed. He'd spent so many nights here with Jensen just watching him sleep. It was nice to see him awake – nice to talk to him again. “Yeah, that makes sense,” he mused mainly to himself. “So...what do you remember?” Jared instantly regret the question when it came out of his mouth. “I mean...if you don't mind me asking. If you don't want to talk about it, that's okay. We don't have to.”

A small chuckle escaped Jensen at Jared's words. “No, it's okay,” he assured him. “We can talk about it. I mean, I don't really remember much, honestly. Christian and Steve were here earlier. They kind of filled in the blanks for me.” Biting into his bottom lip, Jensen continued, “I guess I went back to Tom's house for my car when I left your place. He said that I seemed upset. Everyone thinks it was because Danneel and I broke up, but that's not what it was. If I was upset, I know why. And then they just said that I drove off and I got into an accident. I've been in a coma ever since then. And now...I'm awake.”

He wanted to tell Jared all about what had happened while he was sleeping. But he didn't want to scare him. What he did want was to let Jared know that he had been wrong about everything that morning he left him. Jensen wanted to be with Jared now more than anything. And he couldn't exactly explain it without sounding like a mental patient, but he was going to try his hardest. “Jared...” he started, only to stop when Jared looked up at him with tears in his eyes. “What's the matter? Why are you crying?”

“It's my fault,” Jared explained, biting into his bottom lip as he looked away from Jensen. He couldn't look him in the eyes and apologize – he was too weak. He just felt so bad about it all. That's why he'd been coming here every day to make sure Jensen was okay. Jared felt awful that he had been the cause of his accident. And while he loved Jensen, he knew that Jensen didn't feel the same way. And he knew that coming here to see him was selfish, but he couldn't stay away. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stay away from Jensen. “You were upset because of me. Because of what we did the night before. It's all my fault that you've been in a coma for six months.”

Jensen felt his heart sink when Jared explained that he blamed himself for what happened. It hadn't been his fault! And even if it had been, Jensen was thankful. If he hadn't had this car accident, his eyes wouldn't have been opened up to the fact that he and Jared were supposed to be together. He'd still be with Danneel, living his life in misery like he had been doing for ten years inside his head. “Jared, stop,” Jensen whispered, shaking his head. “This isn't your fault. The accident wasn't your fault at all.”

Not his fault?! All he'd been doing for the last six months was hoping that one day when Jensen woke up, he could forgive him. And now Jensen was saying it wasn't his fault?! How could he even think that. “Yes it was!” he argued. “I upset you! I was the reason you were driving so erratically. I'm the reason you missed that red light and your car was hit! It was all me!”

Reaching for Jared, Jensen cupped his face in both of his hands. “Look at me,” Jensen ordered, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. “This wasn't your fault. It was _mine_!” Now was as good a time as any to tell Jared how he felt, he supposed. “I was an idiot. I was freaking out over something so stupid. I just...couldn't see what was right in front of my eyes at the time.” Jensen felt fear rising up inside him, threatening to steal his voice. But he pushed it back down – this needed to be said. “I was wrong. That day in your room when I pushed you away – I didn't understand what was happening. I handled it the wrong way.”

He could see that Jared was confused, so Jensen pushed on. “I couldn't let myself see that what we had was something special. So I just pushed it away – I _pretended_ like it was nothing so I could try to make sense of everything. But I was wrong, Jared. I was _so_ wrong, and I hope that you can forgive me. I hope that some day, you can get past how stupid and _mean_ I was to you.” Brushing Jared's long bangs out of his eyes like he had done so many times before in his head, Jensen added, “I hope that you and I can be together. Have a _long, happy_ life together. And just forget what happened that day.”

This was a turn of events that Jared hadn't seen coming. Confusion mixed with hope and happiness inside him. But why the change of heart? Why did Jensen want to be with him all of a sudden. “I...um...” he stuttered, not sure how to take this. “I don't understand. The last time we talked, you were _very_ clear about not wanting to be with me. You said that you were drunk and it had all been a mistake.”

“I remember,” Jensen assured him with a nod. He remembered it like it had just happened yesterday. And he felt sick about it. He wanted to make it right. He wanted Jared – only Jared. No one else mattered. Just like it had been in that world Jensen dreamed up. All he cared about was being with Jared again. It had felt so good to let loose and just _take_ what he wanted. It showed him that he didn't have to be afraid. The world wasn't going to fall apart if he let himself be happy. Would it? “But I was wrong. Jared, I was so wrong. Please, forgive me?”

Forgive him?! Like Jensen had been the one in the wrong?! Jared was so confused. “Y-Yeah,” he breathed with a nod. “Of course I can forgive you.” He wasn't sure if Jensen was asking him to go steady right now, but he needed to make it clear that he wasn't ready for that. This had been a curve ball Jared definitely hadn't been expecting. “I just...I need some time to process everything,” he explained. “I—This just happened so fast. I mean, I don't even understand what just happened, really.”

Of course Jared was going to need time – that was understandable. He hadn't been inside Jensen's head for the last ten years – no _six months_. Jared didn't go through what they went through in Jensen's point of view. To him, he'd been out of touch for six months and Jared had been blaming himself for everything that happened. “I understand,” he assured Jared with a nod. “Yeah, I mean, of course you do. Don't think you have to rush into a decision on my account.”

Nodding, Jared felt relief wash over him again. “Thank you,” he breathed, biting into his bottom lip once more. Maybe he should just say he wanted to be with him too. It wasn't like he didn't. Jared had _dreamed_ about this day for ages, and now that it was finally here, he was going to blow it. But Jensen told him to take his time. Maybe that meant he wasn't going anywhere. Maybe this was real – his dreams were finally coming true. But how often did that happen in real life? This wasn't a damn fairy tale.

Jared caught a glimpse of the clock then, his heart skipping a beat. “Shit, I'm late,” he groaned. “Sandy has some kind of event tonight. I told her that I would be there.” He felt terrible about leaving so soon – especially after Jensen's confession. But he couldn't just miss his best friend's event that he'd promised he'd go to. “Um...it shouldn't be too long. I can come back after it's over and we can...talk some more.”

Although Jensen didn't want Jared to leave again, he knew he couldn't ask him to stay. He knew how close he and Sandy were. “Jared, it's fine,” he assured him with a nod. “Go. Don't worry about me.” Jensen was going to be all right. He had all of these doctors watching over him after all. And it wasn't like he was going anywhere. “If you want to come back, I won't stop you. But if you just want to come back tomorrow, that's good too. I'm not going anywhere.”

That's what Jared was afraid of – Jensen going somewhere. He'd read studies of how someone could come out of a coma for a brief period and then revert right back. What if this was one of those times? What if when he came back, Jensen was asleep again? No, he had to come back tonight. He didn't want to be away from Jensen any longer than he had to be. “I'll be back tonight,” he assured him. Bravely, Jared leaned in and pressed a kiss to Jensen's cheek. “Thank you. I'll be back in a few hours. Please stay awake.”

“Stay awake?” Jensen chuckled, biting into his bottom lip. “Jared, I'm not going anywhere. I promise.” He was awake now. Jensen wasn't going to leave Jared again. And he would wait for however long he needed to for Jared to make up his mind. He'd been the one who pushed him away in the first place. It was the least Jensen could do. This is what he wanted. Hell, he couldn't keep the smile off his face as he watched Jared walk away, thinking about all of the good times they'd had together. And while Jared only remembered the one time – and the horrid scene after that time – Jensen was determined to give him many more great memories of the two of them together.


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

_“What do you mean he isn't awake?” Danneel demanded as she tried to push her way into Jensen's room. “Is he going to wake up?!” The doctor wouldn't let her through and Danneel was getting pissed. “He's my boyfriend! You can't just not let me see him! I have a right to know what's going on with him! He's going to want to see me when he wakes up!”_

_Using a bit more force, Misha shoved Danneel away from the door. “You can't go in there,” he argued. “Only family is allowed in the room right now. All I can tell you at this point is that Jensen sustained some major injuries, particularly to his head and neck area, and he isn't awake. We won't know anything more until he does wake up.” Again, he shot his arm out and stopped Danneel from entering. “The only thing you can do right now for him is go home. If his parents want to inform you of his condition later, they are more than welcome to do so!”_

_After one last attempt at getting into the room, Danneel finally gave up. “I'll be back in the morning!” she hissed. “And there's no way I won't be getting into that room to see him!” With that, Danneel stormed off down the hallway, shoving a gurney out of her way in her anger._

Jensen was remembering. Danneel had been so angry when she found out about Jensen's accident. It was almost like he could hear what was going on, but at the time he couldn't process it. Now, it was all coming back to him in waves. He and Danneel hadn't even been dating at the time, so he didn't understand why she'd wanted to come see him so badly. Had he been awake at the time, Jensen probably would have let her inside – he had been a dumb kid. Now, he would have told her to go pound salt. 

Not that the ten years they'd spent together had been horrible. No, there had definitely been some good times. But those good times paled in comparison to all of the times he had with Jared. Even the bad times were more vibrant the the times he had been with Danneel. Everything about Jared made Jensen feel alive. Danneel had never made him feel that way.

Turning towards the door, Jensen shoved one arm up under his pillow. He couldn't get comfortable. This room was making him feel claustrophobic. Maybe if he asked nicely, Misha would let him take a walk around the hospital. It was unlikely – this Misha wasn't like the Misha he knew. He was all about protocol and making sure that everything ran smoothly. Otherwise, he'd just release Jensen right now. He was more than capable of staying home alone and waiting for his parents to get back – he'd done it multiple times before. 

A small frown came to his lips when he saw Jared in the hallway. He was out with Sandy – he knew that. But there he was, plain as day, in the hallway outside of Jensen's room talking to Misha. He could hear what was being said and it honestly broke his heart.

_Misha felt bad for this kid. He genuinely seemed to care about Jensen. But he wasn't family, so he wasn't allowed in the room. “I'm sorry,” he apologized, giving his head a small shake. “Jensen is not allowed to have any visitors who aren't family right now.” But he wanted to let Jared in._

_“I-I understand,” Jared assured Misha with a nod. “I just...I need to see him. Please?” Tears tracked down his cheeks as he begged to see Jensen. “I need to tell him that I'm sorry. This is my fault. He's in there because of me.”_

_Now, Misha was intrigued. How could such a sweet kid be the cause of a car accident. Especially when he hadn't even been there? Jensen was alone in the car and the pick up driver had been with his wife and his daughter. Jared Padalecki had been nowhere near the scene. “What do you mean this is your fault? You weren't even there.”_

_As far as Jared was concerned, he might as well have hit Jensen with his own car. “S-Something happened,” he explained, shaking his head. “I'm not allowed to talk about it. But he was with me before he picked up his car. I upset him.” More tears spilled down Jared's cheeks as he turned his attention to Jensen. “I might as well have been driving the car. So please...I just need to talk to him. I promise I won't be long. And I won't tell anyone. Please?”_

_His heart broke for the kid in front of him as he sobbed and begged to be able to see Jensen. Obviously, this boy cared a lot for his patient. And he thought it was a stupid rule, anyway – only family is allowed to see patients unless specified otherwise. Sometimes, friends were better to patients than their family ever had been. And who was Misha to decide if this was one of those cases. All he could do was look at the evidence presented to him. And all of the evidence was showing that this boy deserved to be in there with that patient._

_So, Misha made a decision based on what he felt was right. “Okay,” he breathed. “You can go in. But don't do anything stupid. And you can't stay long. Just...say what's on your mind and then leave. I can get into a lot of trouble for doing this.”_

_Jared knew that Misha was putting himself at risk, and he thanked him greatly. “Thank you so much!” he beamed. “I promise I won't get you in trouble.” With that, Jared headed into Jensen's room, hurt champagne hazel eyes landing on Jensen's prone form. He hated seeing him like this. All of those tubes and machines hooked up to him. It was a chilling site._

_Slowly, Jared took a seat beside the bed, tears still making slow tracks down his cheeks. He took Jensen's hand in his own, thumb brushing against the back of his skin, over the bandage where his IV was connected. “I am so sorry,” he whispered, more tears forming. “I didn't mean for this to happen. I didn't...want to upset you so badly.” Sniffling, Jared continued, “I'd take it all back if I could, Jensen. You know that I would. I'd take everything back – the car accident, the night we were together – I'd give it all up just to have you awake right now.”_

_He released Jensen's hand then, moving instead to push his hair from his forehead. His hand was shaking he was so upset. “Please wake up,” he begged. “Please? I know you don't feel the same way, but I love you. I can't lose you. Even if we're just friends – that's enough for me. I'd never push you for more. I just...can't lose you. Please? Open your eyes, Jen.” When Jensen didn't move to do as he asked, Jared shook his head, resting it on Jensen's arm as he begged him over and over to just wake up._

Tears tracked down Jensen's cheeks at the memory of Jared. Okay, so maybe Misha wasn't _all_ about sticking to the rules. The absolute devastation on his face made Jensen wish he had woken up there for him and just made all of it right. Because Jared had to live with that pain for six months. Jensen had been in a coma for _six months_ and Jared had blamed himself for it every day. It made him sick to his stomach.

Jensen was going to fix that. From now on, he was going to show Jared that he was the most important thing in the world to him. Never again was he going to have to question how Jensen felt about him, or question their relationship. If Jared allowed him, Jensen was going to be the best boyfriend Jared could ever imagine having. And Jensen hoped he allowed it. He _needed_ Jared to forgive him. After everything they'd been through inside his head, Jensen wasn't sure he could let Jared go so easily.

Rolling over onto her back once more, Jensen closed his eyes. His arm moved to cover his face as he allowed himself to just let all of the memories flood back into his head. Jensen wanted to know what had happened here while he was sleeping. And if his mind was going to show him, he wasn't going to deny it that chance.

 _“Your son is in a coma,” Misha explained to Jensen's parents. “There was an accident – he ran a red light and his car was hit by another driver. Now, from what I can tell, his brain is responding very well. There's a lot of activity, which is a good sign. We won't know much more until he wakes up.” He hated this part. Misha hated to be the bearer of bad news. But it was wrong to lead a family on. “_ If _he wakes up. Now, I don't want you to worry, but there is a chance that he won't.”_

_Sobs wracked his mother's body as she listened to what happened to her son. “What do you mean if?” she asked, her grip on Jensen's father tightening. “My baby is a fighter. He is going to wake up.” She refused to believe that Jensen was just going to sit there in a coma for the rest of his life. Jensen was going to wake up, and everything was going to be fine._

_Misha felt sympathy for this family. “Of course he's a fighter,” he assured them both. “And I'm rooting for him one hundred percent. But I need to prepare you for the worst if he doesn't. I'm not saying this will be the case, but in some situations, it is. I just wanted you to have all of the information.” Placing his hand on Jensen's father's back, he steered them towards the nurses desk. “Now, I'm going to be looking after Jensen for the remainder of his stay here. I know you folks will have questions, and I am here for you at any time.”_

_Quickly, Misha took a business card from his pocket and scribbled something on the back. “This is my cell phone number. If there's any point in time when you need me and I can't be reached here, please don't hesitate to call me.” Turning towards the desk, Misha pointed at the nurse sitting in the chair. “This is Samantha. She's going to be taking care of Jensen during her shifts here. She can help you all get settled in. And like I said, if there's anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask me.”_

_**~~**_

_His heartbeat was strong. Although there had been no signs of him waking, Jensen was otherwise as healthy as a horse. His injuries were healing nicely as well. The bruising had gone down tremendously, and each time he was taken for a head CT, his brain injury showed improvement and less swelling. Now, it was just up to Jensen to fight his way back to them._

_Sometimes, Misha would allow himself to believe in miracles. And according to other doctors he'd asked about this case, Jensen wasn't going to wake up. Usually, if there was no sign of regaining consciousness within the first month, it was likely that the patient wasn't going to ever be conscious again. But Misha didn't think that was the case with this man. He was healing too well. He was still fighting. And he had a lot of people in his corner who were convinced that he was going to come out of this thing stronger than before. He had hope that Jensen was going to come back to them._

_A hand on his shoulder caused Misha to jump, turning towards the new arrival. He smiled instantly when he saw that it was Vicky. And she had coffee. “You're not allowed to be in here,” he chastised lightly, taking the cup of Heaven from his lover. “Mmm...” he moaned softly at the first taste. “You're amazing. Have I told you that lately?”_

_Chuckling, Vicky answered, “You may have said it yesterday when I brought you dinner.” She knew she wasn't allowed in the rooms with patients, but if she followed that rule, she'd never get to see her fiance. “When is the last time you slept?” she asked, changing the subject from her rule breaking and moving on to more important matters. After all, it wasn't like she was harming anything or anyone by being in here with this boy. He was in a coma – he had no idea._

_That was a good question. Honestly, Misha couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten sleep. All of his free time was spent checking up on Jensen. “Um...I slept for a few minutes in the on-call room,” he recalled. “I've just been...really busy.” And it was true. He was a doctor – there were more patients every day who required his attention. But that didn't mean he was going to ignore this patient. Jensen deserved just as much of his time as any of the others._

_“Babe, you need to sleep,” Vicky chastised. “You're not going to be any good to your patients if you're burnt out and falling asleep on the job.” She understood that Misha was a doctor with a huge heart, and he cared about each and every one of his patients. But sometimes, she worried that he cared too much about them and not enough about himself. “Are you coming home tonight?”_

_Tonight was Tuesday – he wasn't on call. Glancing up at the clock, he realized that it was almost seven. His shift was over in a couple of hours. “Yeah, I'll be home,” he assured Vicky. “I just have a few more things I need to take care of, and then I'll be leaving. Shift ends at nine.” Turning, he led Vicky out of Jensen's room, satisfied that he'd checked on him for the evening. “I just have to finish some paperwork from a couple of my cases. Do you wanna hang out with me until I'm done? Then maybe we can pick up some Chinese and watch a movie before bed?”_

_A wide smile came to Vicky's lips at the suggestion. “That sounds like Heaven,” she assured her love, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips._

_**~~**_

_Jared was back. He'd been coming every night since Jensen had been admitted. Misha told the nurses working on Jensen's case that he was allowed to be there any time he wanted – Mr. and Mrs. Ackles' orders. Of course, he wasn't even sure they knew Jared visited Jensen, but no one else needed to know that. Jared was there a lot more often than Jensen's parents were, so he shouldn't be denied the right to spend time with him._

_Today had been a good day. “We got an 'A' on our history project,” Jared gloated, waving the evaluation paper beside his head proudly. “I think he felt bad for me. Either way, it's an awesome grade. He never gives out 'A's to his students. I know because he always gives me a 'B' on everything. And I mean_ everything. _It's the only class I don't have an 'A' in.”_

_Shaking off his complaint of not having an 'A' in the class, Jared flopped down on the chair beside Jensen's bed. “Anyway, he said that we did a good job. And he was impressed. And he hopes that you have a speedy recovery.” Scoffing, Jared scratched the back of his head. “I don't know how sincere he really was. I mean, they've all been saying it – they all want you to have a speedy recovery. They hope to see you back in class soon. I think they just have to say that stuff. I don't know if they actually mean any of it.”_

_He needed to stop thinking about the teachers. None of them meant anything as far as Jared was concerned. “But I do,” he assured Jensen. “I know you're going to get past this. You're going to wake up and everything is going to be okay. I'll be here for you when you do.” Chuckling to himself, Jared stuffed his report into his backpack. “I've been taking notes for you. That way when you wake up, you won't have to worry about being behind in class.”_

_Another chuckle escaped Jared as he continued, “We're learning about_ Romeo and Juliet _in English class now. I feel like you would really enjoy it.” Shrugging, Jared continued, “I mean, I don't know how much of a romantic you are, but it's a pretty good story. Mrs. Geibel keeps staring at me funny every day, though. I don't know why.” Leaning back in his chair, Jared started his homework. He didn't have to be home until late tonight – his parents were both working over time. And he planned on staying here with Jensen until he had to be home._

_**~~**_

_“Jen,” Jared pleaded as he gripped the sleeping man's hand. “Please, you have to wake up.” Tears slid down his cheeks as he pressed a kiss to Jensen's hand. “I-I overheard the doctors talking today. They were saying there's a chance you won't wake up. It's been months and you still haven't showed any signs of waking up.” Sniffling, Jared argued, “But I know better. You're going to wake up. I know you are.”_

_Again, Jared pressed a kiss to Jensen's hand. “Dr. Collins said your body is getting stronger every day. He said that your injuries are all but gone. So, there's no reason for you not to wake up Jensen. Please, wake up. Come back to us. Please?”_

_Still, there was no sign of Jensen waking up. Another soft sob escaped Jared as he leaned against Jensen, head resting on his belly. “Please wake up. You're going to wake up. They're all wrong. I know they are.” More sobs escaped Jared as he just rested on Jensen, his eyes slowly closing before he fell asleep._

_The next morning, Misha gently shook Jared awake. “Hey kid,” he greeted with a small smile on his lips. “Don't you have to be at school soon?”_

_**~~**_

_Danneel frowned as he stared down at Jensen. Still, there was no sign of him waking up. It had been three months and he was still in this coma. “So...I just can't wait around and hope that you're going to wake up anymore,” she explained. “I need to focus on my future, Jensen.” Sighing, she ran her hand over her face. “Tom and I have gotten really close since this. He and I are dating now. I mean, I didn't think you would care._ Technically, _we did break up before you got into your accident.”_

 _Shrugging, Danneel continued, “Anyway...I guess that means I won't be coming back to check on you anymore. I mean, I hope you get better, and everything. You're strong, so I know you're going to wake up. Just know that I do love you. And I'm sure a part of me always will. This thing with Tom, it just_ happened _. We weren't planning on it, or anything.” Sighing once more, Danneel shook her head. “I guess this is goodbye. Good luck with everything, Jensen.”_

_**~~**_

_“It's been five months,” Mark argued, shaking his head. “The odds of this kid waking up after five months are slim to none. Every day he's in there in that coma, is another day we all lose hope. I said it before, and I'll say it again, this guy is not going to wake up.”_

_Rob frowned at his pessimistic co-worker. “You don't know that,” he assured him, smiling softly at Misha. “There have been cases where a person wakes up after years of being in a coma. The truth of the matter is, no one knows what this man is going to do.”_

_Grabbing Jensen's chart, Misha explained, “His scans are all good. His injuries have healed nicely. There's nothing stopping this man from waking up.” Misha had faith that Jensen was going to come back. Jared was here every day talking to him and interacting with him. Some studies showed that patients in comas could hear what was happening around them. And if that was true, Jared begging Jensen to come back to him was reason enough for a guy to wake up. “He's going to wake up,” he concluded, snapping the chart closed before he headed off to start rounds_.

**~~**

Suddenly, the focus changed and Jensen was in the surgery room. It was like he was having an out of body experience. He could see himself sitting against the wall, Jared laying practically on top of him. Jensen looked sickly. His face and arms were pale. Sweat was covering his entire body, but he was shaking like a leaf.

_“Just relax, babe,” Jared whispered, pressing a kiss to Jensen's cheek. “I'm going to stay right here with you. I'm not leaving you.” Tears tracked down his cheeks as he held Jensen closely, waiting for him to finally be at rest. After what seemed like hours, Jared finally pulled away, gently laying Jensen on the floor._

_His hand moved to his chest, sobs wracking his body as he felt for a heartbeat. When he felt nothing, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his knife. “I'm so sorry I couldn't save you,” he cried. “I'm so sorry, Jen.” He leaned in and pressed a kiss to his dead lips, sniffling softly as he pulled back. “I love you.”_

_Another soft cry broke from Jared as he jammed his knife into the side of Jensen's head. He then threw the weapon across the room and picked Jensen up into his arms, rocking him back and forth as he sobbed uncontrollably._

**~~**

Jensen jerked awake in a cold sweat, his breaths coming out rapidly as he searched his surroundings. His hand moved to the side of his head where the knife had gone through, fingers carding in his hair as relief flooded through him. He was in the hospital. He was alive. That world – that _apocalypse_ – it had all just been a bad dream. Jensen was fine.

When Jensen jerked awake, Jared did the same, his hand quickly reaching for the other man. “Hey, I'm here,” he assured Jensen, pulling him into a loose hug. He didn't want to push himself on Jensen, but he wanted to let him know that if he needed him, Jared was there. 

A small smile came to Jensen's lips when Jared pulled him into an embrace. He returned the hug, pulling Jared impossibly closer. He'd missed this. Jared felt so good against him. Jensen was afraid that he was never going to feel this again. And now that he had it back, he was going to do everything in his power to make sure he never had to let it go.

It felt good when Jensen hugged him back – _really_ good. Jared slowly pulled back after a moment, biting into his bottom lip. “I thought a lot about what you said,” he started, “You know, a-about us being together.” He'd thought so much about it that he really had no idea what the event he'd gone to had been about. Every second since Jensen brought it up, Jared had been thinking about it. He just couldn't keep his mind off of it. He'd wanted this for so long, and now the opportunity was right there, and he was just so overwhelmed with everything.

“And?” Jensen asked, biting into his bottom lip. He was so eager to know the answer. “What did you decide?” Jensen hadn't really given it much thought if Jared would say no. He'd only been thinking about what was going to happen if he said yes. After all, he'd just woken up from a coma where he'd been dreaming about the end of the world – Jensen needed a little positivity in his life after that.

Sighing, Jared explained, “I mean, I still don't understand the change of heart. But...I know I love you, and that's all that matters to me.” Biting into his bottom lip, Jared allowed his eyes to tick up to meet Jensen's. “I want to try to make this work. If you're still interested in being with me.”

A wide smile came to Jensen's lips when Jared said he wanted to try. “Of course I still want to be with you,” he assured him, pulling him into a hug. When he pulled back, Jensen locked eyes with Jared, licking his lips. “Can I...kiss you?” he asked, feeling nervous and unsure all of a sudden. 

Without answering, Jared leaned in and captured Jensen's lips. It was just like he remembered it. He thought that he'd never have the chance to be with him like this again. Jared was just happy this was happening. “You don't have to ask,” he assured him when he pulled back. “I-I like kissing you.” His cheeks burned a bright shade of red at the admittance, Jared quickly moving to hide his face.

Again, Jensen leaned in and captured Jared's lips, deepening the kiss this time. “Don't hide from me,” he whispered when the kiss broke, Jensen biting into his bottom lip. “Jared, I wanted to apologize again for what I did that morning. I know I hurt you, and I feel awful about it.” There weren't enough ways to say _I'm sorry_ for what Jensen had done. But he was going to continue to tell him over and over until he was satisfied that it was enough.

Jared shook his head when Jensen apologized again. “Let's just forget about what happened that morning, okay?” he suggested. He'd spent the last six months apologizing for that morning. Jared didn't want to waste any more time thinking about it. “That's in the past. Let's just focus on us now. And whatever kind of future we might be able to have.”

The next few hours were spent kissing and cuddling. Jensen remembered how good this had felt in his head – in real life, it was even better. Jared kept asking him what changed his mind about them, but Jensen had no idea where to even begin. “Jared, you wouldn't believe me even if I told you,” he assured the younger man. When he insisted once more, Jensen finally caved. “Okay, but you have to promise not to laugh. Or look at me like I'm crazy.”

He'd never think Jensen was crazy. Reaching up to card his fingers through Jensen's hair, Jared promised, “I would never laugh at you. Or think that you're crazy. Just tell me what changed your mind. I'm really curious.” Not that it changed anything. Jared was just interested, that was all.

Biting into his bottom lip, Jensen explained, “While I was in the coma, I must have been...dreaming, or something. We were living in a world that was overrun by the dead. Walkers – that's what we called them. Anyway, you and I found each other and we started a relationship. It was _perfect_. I mean, unless you count the walkers that were always right around the corner ready to eat us. But...I realized that I love you. And I can't imagine my life without you now.”

Zombie apocalypse? Well, that wasn't what he'd been expecting. “I'm sure that must have been awful,” Jared comforted, pulling Jensen a bit closer. He felt a little bad that he was so happy about the end result. “I have to admit though, I'm glad that you had the nightmare inside your head. Because it brought you closer to me.”

“I'm glad it happened too,” Jensen admitted, snuggling in closer to Jared. He could spend forever with Jared in his arms, just breathing in his scent. It was different from the Jared he knew in the post-apocalyptic world – he was less musky now. Probably because he had the ability to take a shower every day here. They hadn't had the luxury in his world. 

They stayed wrapped up around each other for another few hours before Jared realized what time it was. “Shit,” he groaned, gently rolling away from Jensen. “I have to get home. My parents are going to freak out if I come in after midnight again tonight.” They'd been coming down on him hard recently. Honestly, he was worried they were going to try to set a curfew, or something. He was almost an adult. If he wanted to stay with Jensen, he didn't see why he couldn't. 

Once he was out of the bed, he righted his clothing, reaching down to grab his backpack. “I'll be back tomorrow morning,” he promised, leaning in to press another kiss to Jensen's lips. “I'm going to stop in before school. And then I'll come back again after school.”

Although Jensen didn't want Jared to leave, he understood that he had to. It was going to take some getting used to. Now they had parents and rules to follow. For the longest time, Jensen was just able to do whatever he wanted – sleep with Jared whenever he wanted. “Okay,” he whispered, returning the kiss. When he was almost out the door, Jensen called after him, “Hey! I love you.”

Jared didn't think he was ever going to get tired of hearing that. “I love you, too,” he answered, giving Jensen one of his amazing, thousand watt smiles before he headed out of the room.


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

Jensen was tired. He'd had trouble sleeping the night before after Jared left, and then he woke up early this morning so he could see him before he went to school. He had planned on taking a nap while Jared was at school, but it seemed like that wasn't going to happen. His parents had arrived in town this morning and they were now filling out the paperwork to get Jensen out of this hospital. He was ready to leave. He'd been here long enough.

Of course, that meant that Jared was going to have to come over to his place to see him, and vice versa. Not that Jensen cared. It would be nice to get out of this tiny room and have some alone time together elsewhere. After all, if he came to Jensen's house, he could lock them in his room and they could finally have some privacy.

By the time all of the discharge paperwork was completed and Misha had checked him over again, it was almost three o'clock. Jared would be getting out of school soon. He'd have to call him and let him know he'd been released. Once Jensen had all of his belongings back, that wouldn't be a problem. Jared's phone number was still programmed into his cell phone. 

Jensen's parents basically left him alone to get reacquainted with the house when they finally got there. Jensen wasn't sure if he should be happy or upset about that. On one hand, he didn't want to be bothered by anyone. But on the other hand, he'd just spent six months in a coma, and his parents were more worried about the business trip they had to leave behind instead of him. Of course, he was used to it. They always acted like this. Sometimes, he wondered if they just didn't know how to act like parents anymore.

Maybe it was too painful for them to look at him right now. From what he remembered, his parents had been devastated when Misha told them that he was in a coma. But they rarely came to visit him. And then they went on this business trip. Jensen just wasn't sure how to handle it.

It felt strange being back at his own house. Jensen remembered what it had looked like after the walkers had torn through it. Honestly, it was making him a little uneasy being here. Glancing at the clock, he realized that Jared would be out of school by now. Quickly, he grabbed his cell phone and dialed his number. “Jared, hi,” he greeted when he picked up the other line. “My parents came back today, so I was released from the hospital.” He smiled softly when Jared congratulated him and talked about how great that was. “Yeah, so, I was thinking...do you maybe wanna come over and keep me company?”

“Yeah, I can do that,” Jared assured Jensen as he climbed into Sandy's car. “I'm just now leaving school, so I should be there in about twenty minutes.” He smiled when Jensen teased him by telling him to hurry up. “I'll see you in a bit,” he answered, biting into his bottom lip as he hung up the phone. He then turned his attention to his best friend, smiling widely at her. “So...do you think you could drop me off at Jensen's house instead of the hospital today?”

Shock was clear on Sandy's face when Jared asked to go to Jensen's house. “He's home?” she asked, smiling when Jared nodded. “And he wants you to come over and hang out with him?” Again, she smiled when Jared nodded once more. “So...is there something you're not telling me? Like... _why_ does he want you to come over?”

Although Jared wanted to scream at the top of his lungs that he and Jensen were an item now, he didn't. Honestly, he wasn't sure Jensen wanted people to know. They hadn't talked about it. They'd been focused on other things that night. “He and I are friends,” Jared insisted instead. “Maybe he just doesn't want to be alone after everything. His parents are really focused on some kind of business deal they're trying to make right now from what he told me.”

Sandy didn't believe for a second that Jared and Jensen were _just friends_. You didn't call up one of your _friends_ who just happened to be openly in love with you, to hang out. But, she wasn't going to push it. She'd been doing enough pushing the last six months and all it had gotten her was dirty looks from Jared coupled with a large amount of silence. If there was something to tell, Sandy was sure Jared would tell her when he was ready.

It didn't take long for Sandy to get Jared to Jensen's house. “Do you need a ride home?” she asked as Jared collected his belongings and climbed out of the car. 

In all honesty, Jared wasn't sure what the plan was. Jensen didn't have a car right now, so he couldn't take him home. His parents could always pick him up, he supposed. “Um...no, I think I'm okay,” he assured his friend. “Thanks for dropping me off!” Slamming the door closed, Jared headed to the door, knocking once he reached it. 

He was nervous. Jared had never met Jensen's parents before. Sure, he'd seen them in passing at the hospital, but other than that, nothing. Hell, they'd never even said anything to him when they saw each other at the hospital. Jared wasn't even sure they knew he'd spent his time there visiting their son. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea now that he was thinking about it. But he was here now, with no ride home, so he was going to have to suck it up.

Before he had a chance to think too much more about it, Jensen opened the door. A wide smile spread across his lips when he saw Jared, Jensen quickly ushering him inside the house. Closing the door, Jensen swooped in and captured Jared's lips with his, tongue tracing the seam, begging for entrance. When it was granted, Jensen quickly accepted, tangling his tongue with Jared's own. “I missed you,” he breathed when the kiss broke, not afraid to admit his feelings.

Wow, that kiss had been too good for words. “I missed you, too,” Jared admitted as he allowed Jensen to lead him through the house. He didn't know where they were going, nor did he care. All that mattered was that he was with Jensen. However, when he led them into his room and closed the door behind them, Jared felt a little uneasy. “So...” he started, biting into his bottom lip. “What did you wanna do?”

Honestly, Jensen could think of a lot of different things he wanted to do with Jared right now. But he wasn't looking to scare him off. Jensen knew that he probably wanted to take things slow since he was still unsure about everything. And Jensen could wait for him. After all, it wasn't like he had any right to demand he forgive him, or anything. “I don't know,” he finally answered, moving to take a seat on his bed. “I just didn't want to be alone.”

A deep frown came to Jared's lips when Jensen explained he didn't want to be alone. That was understandable. “Well, we could do whatever you want to,” he said, giving Jensen free reign of the day. “I don't have anything else planned. I was going to just see you at the hospital all night.” Smiling, Jared added, “But now you're home, so I won't have to do that anymore.”

Whatever he wanted. That was a slippery slope. “Um...do you want to watch a movie, or something?” Jensen suggested, figuring that would be a safe bet. He didn't really know what Jared liked to watch, so he tossed him the remote. “Pick anything you want. Just...no zombie movies. Please?” 

Jared chuckled when Jensen cracked the joke about the zombie movies. Well, at least he was able to joke about it. That was a good sign. He wasn't really in the mood to watch a movie, so he picked something he'd seen a thousand times before. Taking a seat on the bed next to Jensen, he turned his attention to the older man. He was so handsome. “So, how are you feeling now that you're back home?” he asked, more interested in talking rather than the movie.

“I'm okay,” Jensen answered, discreetly moving a bit so he was sitting close enough to Jared that their arms were touching. “It's just weird. The last memory I have of this house isn't exactly a good one. All I can think about when I'm out there in the living room is seeing walkers all over the place. And blood.” The memory sent a chill down his spine.

Now he felt like an asshole. “I'm sorry,” he apologized, shaking his head. “We don't have to talk about this if you don't want to. I just...like to put my foot in my mouth, I guess.” He needed another subject to talk about. But he was drawing a blank. Jared had so many questions for Jensen, but he didn't want to make him think about the horrible nightmare he'd been living in. So, that didn't leave much room for conversation.

Quickly, Jensen shook his head. “No, it's okay!” he assured him. “I don't mind. I mean, no one else knows about it, so I would appreciate it if you didn't say anything to anyone. But you and I can talk about it. I mean, it's not like it really happened, or anything, right? It was just a bad dream.”

They spent the next couple of hours just talking about nothing. Jared asked him about colleges, and Jensen was able to talk about things that were frustrating him since he got back. Jared was a great listener. Before too long, the conversation had shifted to their feelings. “Listen,” Jensen started, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth and biting down on it, hard. “I know you're only sixteen, but I know what I want. And that's _you_ , Jared. I know that it took me a while to figure it out, but I am going to spend the next, however long it takes, making it up to you. I just –”

Jared cut Jensen off with a kiss, his hands carding through Jensen's short cropped hair. “I love you,” Jared whispered when he pulled back. “That's what I know. I love you. And I haven't been able to get you off my mind since that night we were together.” The thought of that perfect night had Jared's dick twitching in his jeans. “I want to be with you, Jensen. For as long as you'll have me, I'm yours.”

 _Yours_. Jensen liked the sound of that. “Good,” he breathed before he leaned in and captured Jared's lips once more. He wanted more. He wanted to push Jared down into the mattress and show him how it could feel when he wasn't drunk out of his mind. But he wouldn't. If Jared wanted to take things further, that was his choice. Jensen wasn't going to rush him into something he wasn't ready for.

When Jensen kissed him, Jared moaned softly, one hand moving to card through Jensen's hair once more. All he could think about was the night they had been together – how good it had felt. He wanted to feel that again. But Jensen just woke up from the coma – he wasn't even sure he was strong enough to be physical like that right now. Or if he even wanted to be. Just because he wanted to try to make a relationship work with him, that didn't mean he wanted to have sex. After all, Jared was only sixteen. And while it hadn't bothered him while he was drunk, he was worried that now might be a different story.

But he wanted this. And he would never say anything to anyone that might get Jensen in trouble. He loved him. He'd never do anything to hurt him. Pulling back from the kiss only when he needed to breathe, Jared all but whimpered, biting into his bottom lip. “Jensen...we should...stop,” he breathed. Of course, it was the last thing he wanted, but he had no choice. It was so hard to control himself when he was around Jensen. “If we don't stop now, I'm not going to be able to.”

Hearing Jared say they should stop, Jensen felt his heart sink. He didn't want to stop. Why did Jared want to stop? Then he finished his thought, and Jensen felt his body heat up. “I don't want you to stop,” he assured Jared, eyes locked on Jared's own as he shook his head. “If you want this, I want this, too.”

That's all Jared needed to just let go. Again, he crushed his lips against Jensen's, tongue pushing inside to tangle with Jensen's own. He was a lot less nervous than last time they'd been together. Although he wouldn't admit it, he'd been watching a lot more porn to learn new things. Just in case he'd ever get the chance to be with Jensen again, he didn't want to look like an idiot like last time. His hands moved to the hem of Jensen's T-shirt, pulling the fabric off his body and tossing it in the corner.

It was clear that Jared was a more confident this time around. Jensen tried not to think of why that could have been. Surely, he hadn't been with anyone else in the last six months. He'd spent all of his time with Jensen and at school. He allowed Jared to remove his T-shirt, lifting his arms up to help the younger man with the task before carding them through Jared's shaggy hair once more. He then reached for Jared's shirt, pulling the offending fabric off his body before his hands moved to Jared's chest, pushing him down onto the mattress.

Once Jared was on his back, Jensen climbed on top of him, grinding their jean clad hips together as he took in the sight of his lover. He looked so young now. Jensen could tell the differences between him now and when they'd been together in his head ten years from now. There wasn't a lot of muscle on him now – it was all hiding beneath the surface. Jared hadn't quite filled out yet. He looked a lot more innocent now, too. Like he hadn't seen the end of the world and it hadn't broken him. Jensen actually preferred this Jared.

While Jensen was grinding their hips together, Jared was working on the fastenings of the older man's jeans. He wanted all of Jensen's clothes off. Jared didn't want to wait another minute to have Jensen right where he wanted him. “Kiss me again,” he begged, pushing up on his elbows to get closer to Jensen. He moaned softly once more as they kissed, fighting for dominance as their tongues tangled together. 

One arm wrapped around Jensen's back as he bucked his hips, turning them over so that Jensen was now beneath him. His hands moved to grip the top of Jensen's jeans, tugging them down his slim hips and off his long legs. Again, he leaned in to devour his lips, fingers tangling in Jensen's short cropped hair.

Jensen's back arched off the bed, pushing his body closer to Jared so he could feel skin against skin. “Get your pants off,” he ordered, thumbs tucking under the waistband of his boxers before he pulled them off as well. His eyes roamed over Jared's body when he was naked before him. Damn, he was perfect. “C'mere,” he breathed, arms reaching for Jared. There was too much space between the two of them already. 

As soon as Jared was close enough, Jensen pulled him into his arms, leaving no space between them as he kissed Jared's lips once more. Jared's hard member was pressing against his thigh, driving Jensen crazy. All he could think about right now were those times he and Jared had been together. Sure, Jared didn't remember any of them, but that didn't mean Jensen couldn't take a trip down memory lane. 

“Jen,” Jared breathed as he rubbed his cock against Jensen's skin. He was losing it. His body was begging for release and Jensen was just kissing him. He didn't want to risk moving too fast and scare Jensen away. He may have just died on the spot if that were to happen. “I need you,” he admitted instead, head dipping to softly nip at the skin on Jensen's shoulder. 

“Shhh, baby, I'm gonna take care of you,” Jensen insisted, pushing his hips up to meet Jared's once more. Jared was hesitant now, almost like he was afraid if he did the wrong thing, Jensen would leave him. Jared hadn't been like this in his head. He'd been confident – he knew what he wanted and he took it. Maybe that came with age. Jensen wasn't too sure how Jared's mind worked. He was sure how his mind was working right now, though. And he wanted Jared to be confident – he wanted him to take what he wanted and not think twice about it.

Hearing Jensen tell him that he was going to take care of him had heat shooting through Jared's body. “O-Okay,” he answered, figuring that whatever he did from here on out was fine with Jensen. The last time they'd been together, he had been drunk – this time he had a level head and Jensen was telling Jared that he wanted him. And Jared had every intention of taking advantage of that.

Hesitantly, Jared dipped his head, pulling the skin just above Jensen's pulse between his lips and nipping gently. He knew that Jensen's neck was a particularly sweet spot for him, and he wanted to make this as enjoyable for Jensen as he possibly could. 

An almost animalistic growl escaped Jensen when Jared sucked on his pulse point, that particular area being a weakness of Jensen’s. Roughly, Jensen gripped Jared’s shoulders and yanked him off his neck, crushing their lips together once more. He didn’t hesitate as he shoved his tongue into Jared’s mouth, massaging Jared’s own and trying to get him to engage in the kiss as well. Meanwhile, Jensen flipped them once more, pushing Jared back down onto the bed, grinding their cocks together as a deep moan escaped his throat.

A soft hiss escaped Jared when Jensen started grinding down against him. It wasn’t unpleasant by any means, but he didn't want to lose it too prematurely. After all, Jensen he knew Jensen had a lot more experience in this area than he did, and while he was feeling a little more confident, he didn't want to mess this up. “Jensen,” he groaned softly when the kiss broke, hands reaching down to grip Jensen’s hips before pushing him away slightly. “Please...I want you so bad.”

God, Jared really was needy. It was one of the hottest things Jensen had ever seen. The way Jared was looking up at him with those lust blown eyes had Jensen suppressing a moan. “I know you do, baby,” he whispered, moving to suck and nip at Jared's neck. “You're gonna have me. Don't worry. M'gonna take care of you.”

Again, Jared groaned in pleasure as Jensen started kissing and sucking his neck, Jared gladly turning his head to the side in an attempt to offer better access for Jensen’s ministrations. As he enjoyed what Jensen was doing to him, Jared took the opportunity to let his hands roam all over Jensen's body. Slowly, he slid his fingers down Jensen's back, over the firm globes of his ass, giving a gentle squeeze, and then back up to fist in Jensen's hair.

Once his hand were in Jensen's hair, Jared forced his head away from his neck, crushing their lips together again in a brutal, hungry kiss. His hands instantly moved to grope at Jensen’s back, fingernails leaving half-moon shapes in Jensen’s skin where Jared held on too tightly. Jensen didn’t seem to mind the rough treatment, so Jared didn’t apologize. What he did do though was beg. This was moving too slowly and Jared wanted to feel Jensen inside him. “Jen, please…” he breathed, nipping at Jensen’s ear. “Want you inside me. Please?”

Of course, Jensen had no objections to that. After all, that was the reason they were in this position. It had been the plan from the start. Grabbing the lube he kept in his nightstand, Jensen popped the cap and poured a liberal amount onto his fingers. Suddenly, he felt a little unsure of himself. Really, he'd only ever done this once in his life – for real, anyway – and he had been drunk. What if everything in his head had been wrong? Sure, he'd felt like a pro just a minute ago, but now everything was different.

In the end, he figured he needed to just go for it, and be confident. If there was one thing Jensen knew about, it was sex. Even if he wasn't experienced all that much with men. Except in his head, anyway. It seemed like a good enough plan. Of course he knew he was going to have to go slowly. As far as he knew, Jared hadn't been with anyone in six months, so he didn't want to be too eager and hurt the younger man. Slowly, he pushed one finger into Jared’s tightly puckered hole, biting into his bottom lip to stifle a groan when the digit was engulfed in the tight heat. “Fuck Jared,” he breathed, licking his lips. “So tight for me, baby. You haven't been with anyone else since me, have you?”

The last thing he wanted to admit right now was that he had been holding out for Jensen to do this again. But he figured that Jensen could tell because he was so tight. And yeah, he’d tried to finger himself once or twice, but he always stopped halfway through because it didn't feel right, or someone had interrupted him. Now, he kind of wished he'd been more diligent, because it hurt. Nothing like the first time Jensen had done it, but there was still some pain there. “N-No,” he answered, breaths coming out in stuttered pants as he tried to get over the initial pain. “B-But don’t stop. Want you to keep going. Please? Please don’t stop, Jen?”

How the hell was Jensen supposed to argue with that? “Not gonna stop,” he assured Jared with a shake of his head, slowly pulling his finger almost completely out of Jared before pushing it back in. He did that a few more times before he added a second, giving Jared ample amount of time to adjust before he added a third. When Jared was able to take three fingers without resistance, Jensen pulled his hand away, quickly lubing up his cock before he positioned himself by Jared’s entrance. “You ready baby?” he asked, fingers carding through Jared’s sweat damp hair.

All Jared could muster as a response was a shaky nod. Really, he did want this, but he was already so damn close to coming just from the preparation that Jensen had given him. He was so hard that it was almost painful and Jared knew that once Jensen was inside him, he wasn’t going to last much longer. And it was the most embarrassing thought that he’d ever had. If he lost it as soon as Jensen pushed inside him, Jared wouldn't blame the older man if he decided he didn't want to be with him anymore. God, it would have been so embarrassing!

Luckily, Jared hadn’t accounted for how much it was going to hurt. Even with the time Jensen took to carefully prepare him for this, it hurt. Jensen was so damn _big_! He thought that three fingers would have been enough to open him up for Jensen’s cock, but he’d been wrong. Jared wished that he would have remembered how much this hurt. Maybe he would have told Jensen to hold off for a little while. Of course, he knew that wouldn't have happened. Jared wanted this just as much as Jensen did. If not more. His hands gripped at Jensen’s shoulders, fingernails digging into the soft skin there as he breathed through the pain. 

It was slow going, Jensen stopping every few inches to make sure Jared was all right. He stopped once he was fully sheathed inside Jared, his arms shaking with the effort of keeping himself from moving. Jensen could see the pain on Jared’s face and he noticed that Jared’s erection had dwindled marginally, and he was wondering if this had been such a good idea. But they were too far to quit now. Jared would be fine after a few minutes – his body would adjust and they could continue where they left off. At least Jensen thought that's what happened last time. In his head, Jared had always been ready for him for the most part. There wasn't really too much preparation that was needed.

Sure enough, after a few moments, Jared wiggled experimentally, breathing in a shocked gasp at the pleasure he felt now that he was used to the invasion. “Ungh…J-Jen, you can move now,” Jared explained, one hand moving to fist in Jensen’s hair as he yanked him down into a heated kiss. 

Jensen didn’t need to be told twice. He kept his movements slow and gentle as he pulled almost all of the way out of Jared, sliding back in slowly, watching Jared’s reaction to his movements. Satisfied that Jared seemed to be enjoying himself, Jensen repeated the action, moving just a bit faster – a little harder – this time. Again, Jared seemed to be fine with it, so Jensen kept going until he was all but slamming his cock into Jared. 

And it felt good. It felt so fucking good. Jared was tight and he was gripping Jensen’s cock just right on every thrust. Angling his hips, Jensen smirked slightly when Jared gasped and then groaned in pleasure. The pure pleasure on Jared’s face let Jensen know that he’d hit Jared’s sweet spot. So he did it again. And then again, one hand fisting in the sheets beneath Jared while the other fisted in Jared’s hair when Jared’s inner muscles clamped down on his dick just right. “Fuck, Jared,” he breathed, head dipping to nip and suck at Jared’s neck and shoulder.

Although his erection had dwindled down when Jensen first pushed into him, Jared was fully erect once more, pre-cum leaking from the tip of his penis. He knew he wasn’t going to last much longer. Jensen hadn’t even touched his dick and Jared was going to blow his load. “Oh God, Jensen,” he breathed, gripping Jensen’s hips as he felt his balls draw up tight against his body. He came with a loud cry of pleasure, his back arching off the bed as he dragged Jensen impossibly closer.

Jared’s orgasm caught Jensen by surprise. He hadn’t even touched Jared and he was already coming. It actually stroked Jensen’s ego a little bit. Yep, he still had it. Well, that was until he felt Jared’s inner muscles clamping down around him, deliciously squeezing his dick and he was dragged over the edge right along with Jared. Only then did he remember that he hadn’t even thought to use a condom. Of course, it didn’t really matter, he supposed. They'd never bothered to use a condom any other time, so what was the point now?

When his orgasm subsided, Jensen collapsed onto the bed, barely remembering to roll so that he didn’t fall on top of Jared. His eyes wandered to the window as he tried to catch his breath, Jensen realizing that it was already dark outside. 

When Jensen rolled off him, Jared instantly felt the loss. “Don't,” he complained, moving to rest his head on Jensen's chest. “Don't stop touching me.” A wide smile came over his lips when Jensen wrapped his arm around him, pulling Jared against his body tighter. The last he remembered, Jensen wasn't a cuddler. Apparently six months in a coma living in some sort of nightmare world had changed the older man's tune.

“I won't,” Jensen assured him, a small frown on his lips. The last time they had been together, Jensen hadn't wanted anything to do with cuddling. But after spending so much time together, and spending countless nights just laying in bed wrapped around each other, Jensen actually liked it. Jensen liked it when Jared was touching him, and he liked it when Jared wanted his touch. 

Without thinking, Jensen reached for the blankets and pulled them over their naked bodies, allowing Jared to snuggle back into him like he'd been before Jensen moved. Jensen was tired. He felt like he was always tired these days. “Stay with me?” Jensen whispered, glancing down at Jared. Jensen's parents were at the office and he had no idea when they were coming home, so he didn't think it would be a big deal if he had company.

A small smile came to Jared's lips when Jensen asked him to stay. The idea that Jensen's parents might be home and they'd find him in here didn't even dawn on him. “Of course I will,” he assured the older man, scooting just a bit closer so there was no space between their bodies. “I should text Sandy and let her know what's going on. The last thing I need is someone sending out a search party for me.”

Once he hit send on his phone, Jared tossed it onto the floor, not caring about the response at the moment. His eyes felt heavy and he was just ready for sleep. Jensen's breathing was even next to him, letting him know that he had already fallen asleep. Letting out a happy, satisfied sigh, Jared allowed his body to relax, falling asleep in Jensen's arms.

**~~**

The sun shining brightly in his eyes pulled Jensen out of his slumber. Slowly, his eyes blinked open, glaring at the window. He was not ready to get out of this bed yet. Beside him, Jensen felt Jared shift, his arm that had been wrapped around Jensen's waist pulling away from him to flop over his eyes. Jensen grabbed his cell phone then, looking at the time. It was just after seven. 

Slowly, Jensen pushed himself to a seated position, holding the blankets tightly against his hips so they didn't fall down. “Jared,” he whispered, gently shoving his arm. “Wake up.” When he didn't get a response from the younger man, he rolled his eyes, pushing himself out of the bed. Jensen wasted no time getting dressed before he headed to the kitchen to make breakfast.

HIs parents met him in the kitchen around 7:45, both smiling at their son. “You're up early,” his mother observed, looking over Jensen's shoulder to see what he was making. “And you're making pancakes. What's the occasion?” 

“Oh, I just have some company,” Jensen explained, his cheeks turning a light pink. “He, uh, came over for breakfast is all. He's just in the bathroom right now.” Whether or not Jensen's parents believed his lie, Jensen wasn't sure. But they weren't accusing him of being a liar, so he figured that was a good sign. Turning off the stove, Jensen smiled at his parents. “Feel free to chow down. I'm gonna go check on Jared.”

With that, Jensen headed to his room, closing the door softly behind him. “Jared,” he coaxed when he reached the bed, shoving Jared's arm once more. “Breakfast is ready. And my parents think you just got here, so it's time to get up and get some clothes on.”

When he heard Jensen talk about his parents, Jared jolted awake. “W-What? Your parents?” he asked, his cheeks burning bright red. “Do they know about us?” he asked as he practically fell out of the bed he was moving so fast. He grabbed his boxers and pulled them on, followed quickly by his jeans and T-shirt.

It took everything Jensen had in him not to laugh at Jared's reaction. “No, not yet,” Jensen answered, his eyes meeting Jared's. “But I'm going to tell them that you're my boyfriend. I don't want to hide our relationship, Jared.” He'd made the mistake of trying to hide what they'd done before he got into his car accident – he wasn't going to make it again. Jensen was proud to call Jared his boyfriend, and he wasn't about to hide it from anyone.

Boyfriend – Jared liked the way that sounded coming from Jensen's mouth. “Oh...okay,” he smiled, checking to make sure he didn't look too disheveled in Jensen's mirror. This was the first time he was meeting Jensen's parents – he wanted to make a good impression. “What should I say to them?” All of a sudden, he felt very nervous.

Shrugging, Jensen answered, “I don't know. Just be yourself, baby.” Before they walked out of the room, Jensen stole a kiss, biting into his bottom lip as he took Jared's hand in his and walked towards the kitchen. “Mom, Dad,” Jensen started as their eyes locked on the pair. “This is Jared. He's my boyfriend.”

Neither of the two seemed too concerned with the fact that Jared was a man. Nor with the fact that he was younger than Jensen. They were just happy that he seemed happy, and they wanted to get to know Jared better. So, they spent the day just hanging out, asking questions and making plans to have Jared over more often. Honestly, Jared was shocked that they were so nice. In the hospital, they'd seemed a little high class – like they were going to be snobs who looked down on other people. But they were just the opposite in person. 

By the time Jared was ready to leave, it was well into the afternoon. He'd text his parents to come pick him up, profusely apologizing that he'd been out all night and hadn't warned them first. They were a little more lenient with him when he explained that Jensen had woken up and he was with him. After all, his parents knew how much he cared for Jensen.

Jensen didn't want Jared to leave, but he knew he had to. They'd spent almost twenty four hours together and Jensen knew that Jared needed to get home. Jared was probably eager to start on his homework, or something. He was such a nerd – _his_ nerd. He wanted to see Jared later, but at the same time he didn't want to press his luck. Maybe Jared was the kind of guy who liked his space.

The sound of a car horn blaring pulled them both out of the heated kiss they were sharing. Jared knew his parents hated waiting, but he just didn't want to leave yet. “I should go now,” he breathed when their kiss ended.

“I know,” Jensen assured him. He hadn't missed the blaring car horn either. But he wasn't ready for him to leave, instead leaning in and capturing his lips once more. This kiss was just as heated as the last, Jensen's hands fisting in Jared's hair, keeping him close. “Can I see you later?”

A wide grin came to Jared's lips when Jensen asked if he could see him later. Honestly, he was thinking the same thing, but he'd been too scared to ask. He didn't want to come off as one of those clingy boyfriends who couldn't spend time away from his guy. “Maybe,” he teased, leaning in to brush their lips together once more. “I'll call you.” 

With that, Jared pulled away from Jensen, waving at his parents to let them know he was on his way to the car. He couldn't keep the smile off his lips as he climbed into the back seat. He'd call Jensen when he got home and invite him over to properly meet his parents later. Until then, he was going to relax and soak in the memory of the night before. Because it had been a _great_ night. And there were many more to come, he was sure.


End file.
